Swasan – She’s Not For Me CHAPTER 3

Hey, Guess who I am yet? 😛
No problem.. Keep guessing!


Chapter 2
Swalak discuss about their anniversary… Sanskaar’s intro
Sanskaar couldn’t believe his ears.
He stared at Mr Luthra, The Maheshwari Family estate lawyer, trying to make sense of his words. Laksh had been dead barely a day. It was still hard to make sense of anything.
Sanskaar : What did you just say?
Mr Luthra : Is Mrs Maheshwari carrying a baby?

Sanskaar : I… What the hell!
Mr Luthra : Mr Sanskaar! You have to find out if she is pregnant. The contents of the late Mr Laksh’s will were very clear. If he had any progeny, the company was to go to them with ample provisions for his mothers and you. But, If he happened to die before that, You inherit the entire Maheshwari Empire along with responsibilities to the family.
Sanskaar : Swara was widowed yesterday. I see no reason to talk about trivial things like this now.
Mr Luthra (shocked) : Trivial? The Maheshwari fortune is trivial? You consider this lesser than Mrs Maheshwari’s personal feelings?

Sanskaar couldn’t even bring himself to dignify this with an answer.
Mr Luthra (continuing) : The Maheshwari Empire was started three generations ago. You should be honoured that you even have a chance of being the CEO of the industrious company.
Sanskaar : Stop calling me the CEO.. I’m…
He halted his words, sinking into a chair, trying very hard to get past the fact that he was perilously close to tears. Right here, in Laksh”s home study , with this damnable little man who didn’t seem to understand that a man had died, not just a businessman, but a person, Sanskaar wanted to cry.
And he would, he suspected. As soon as Mr Luthra left, and Sanskaar could lock the door and make sure that no one could see him, he would probably bury his face in his hands and cry.
Mr Luthra (insisting) : You will have to find out. Someone has to ask her.
Sanskaar (in a low voice) : Well, It won’t be me.

Mr Luthra : Then I shall do it.
Sanskaar was out of the chair in an instant and pinned the lawyer against the wall.
Sanskaar (through clenched teeth) : You will not approach Mrs Swara Maheshwari under any circumstance. Do you understand?
Mr Luthra (choking) : Yes!
Sanskaar let go and tried to control his rage.
Mr Luthra : I will return tomorrow. We shall discuss this again when you’re in a more calm state of mind.

Sanskaar : OUT! NOW!
He leaned against the wall, staring at the open doorway. Good God, how had it all come to this? Laksh hadn’t even been thirty. He was the picture of health.
Sanskaar knew that he was second in line to the company as of now, because Swara and Laksh were childless. But no one, including him, had a hope that he would ever be the CEO of Maheshwari Industries.
And now…
His friends and the entire society were talking about how he was the luckiest man in Kolkata. Overnight, He had gone from a vagabond sort of fellow to a man with responsibilities and fortune.
No one seemed to understand that Sanskaar had never wanted this.
He didn’t want a fortune. He wanted his cousin back. And no one seemed to understand that.
Except, perhaps, Swara, but she was so wrapped in her own grief that she could not quite comprehend the pain in Sanskaar’s heart.
And he would never ask her to. Not when she was so wrecked by her own.
Sanskaar wrapped his arms against his chest as he thought of her. For the rest of his life, he would not forget the sight of Swara’s face once the truth had finally sunk in. Laksh was not sleeping. He was not going to wake up.

And Swara Maheshwari was, at the tender age of twenty four, the saddest thing imaginable.
Sanskaar understood her despair better than anyone could ever imagine.
Last night, after the initial shock had worn off, Sanskaar had called Swara’s mother Sharmishta. She came to Maheshwari Mansion in a hurry. Together, they put her to bed. She’d slept like a baby, with not a whimper, her body worn out from the shock of it all.
But when she’d awakened the next morning, she’d acquired the proverbial stiff upper lip, determined to remain strong and steadfast, handling the myriad de­tails that had showered down upon the house at Laksh’s death.
The problem was, neither one of them had a clue what those details were. They were young; they had been care­free. They had never thought to deal with death.
Lawyers insisting on knowing the private details, clients buttering him up, people offering him sympathy. He just didn’t know how to deal with it.

He walked downstairs slowly. Should he ask Swara if she’s pregnant? Should he not?
But bl**dy hell, he wasn’t going to ask her.
Swara : We should call Ma and Chachi.
Sanskaar looked up. She was sitting on the floor looking at Laksh’s favourite chair. Sanskaar’d shoulders slumped in devastation. But he said nothing and just nodded. It was the first thing she had said since last night.

Swara : I don’t know how I am supposed to call them. I don’t think I can just tell them on the telephone.
He nodded again, wondering what he was supposed to do.
That question had been answered when Mr Luthra had come to call, but he couldn’t bear to think about all that now. It seemed so distasteful. He didn’t want to think of all he would gain at Laksh’s death. How could anyone possibly speak as if something good had come of all this?
Sanskaar felt himself sinking down, down, sliding against the wall until he was sitting on the floor, his legs bent in front of him, his head resting on his knees. He hadn’t wanted this. Had he?
He’d wanted Swara. That was all. But not like this. Not at this cost.
He’d never begrudged Laksh his good fortune. He’d never coveted the money, or the power.
He’d merely coveted his wife.
Now he was meant to assume Laksh’s role, step into his shoes. And guilt was squeezing its merciless fist right around his heart.
Had he somehow wished for this? No, he couldn’t have. He hadn’t.

Had he?
Swara : Sanskaar!
He looked up. She was still wearing that hol­low look, her face a blank mask that tore at his heart far more than her wailing sorrow ever could have done.
Sanskaar : Haan?
His voice didn’t sound like his own.

Swara : How do I tell Ma and Chachi?
Sanskaar shrugged helplessly. They would be bereft when they heard the news. Swara got up, trying to steel herself. Sanskaar knew he should get up too, but he just didn’t have the strength. Even if it made him seem weak infront of Swara.
Sanskaar : Swara! Take some rest. I will call Badi Ma and Mom.
Swara (stuttering) : I… I can’t. I need to… If I stop, even for a moment, I will…
Her words trailed off, but it didn’t matter. He understood.
He looked up at her. Her black hair was pulled back into a simple bun, and her face was pale. She looked young, younger than a student, certainly too young for this sort of heartbreak.
He got up and walked close to her. He placed his palm on her elbow and she sighed.
Swara : Mr Luthra called me.
Sanskaar’s eyes narrowed with rage.

Sanskaar : He did what? Swara, I…
Swara : No! Don’t be mad. He was doing his job, That’s all. I can’t blame him anymore than I can blame Laksh. It was my fault.
Sanskaar (eyes widening) : Swara! This wasn’t your fault.
Swara (bitterly) : It wasn’t? Laksh had bumped his head hard last week. I told him to go see the doctor but he insisted it was fine. I.. I should have pressed him more. Then, At least we would have known there was an internal bleed in his brain. We.. We just missed it Sanskaar!
She sank down, in front of the chair again. Sanskaar stared at her. He had never felt so useless before. He wanted to console her. Tell her everything would be alright. But how could he? He was as tormented as her. So, He walked away and stood in front of a childhood picture of Laksh and him.
Sanskaar : Come back for her, Laksh! She needs you if she wants to be happy. And I need her to be happy. Come back Laksh!

He watched her one last time and sighed. Before he was the only one with a broken heart. Now, Both of them were. Life was just too unfair at times. He tried to look away from her painful eyes, but they had transfixed him like a magnet. Her eyes clearly showed her love for Laksh and had someone seen his eyes, he was sure they could see the love he had for Swara!
Tu safar mera
Hai tu hi meri manzil
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil
Tu mera Khuda
Tu hi duaa mein shaamil
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil
Mujhe aazmaati hai teri kami
Meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi
Junoon hai mera
Banoon main tere qaabil
Tere bina guzaara
Ae Dil Hai Mushkil
Yeh rooh bhi meri
Yeh jism bhi mera
Utna mera nahi
Jitna hua tera
Tune diya hai jo
Woh dard hi sahi
Tujhse mila hai toh
Inaam hai mera

Mera aasmaan dhoondhe teri zameen
Meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi
Zameen pe na sahi
Toh aasmaan mein aa mil
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil
Maana ki teri maujoodgi se
Ye zindagani mehroom hai
Jeene ka koi dooja tareeka
Na mere dil ko maaloom hai
Tujhko main kitni

Shiddat se chaahun
Chaahe toh rehna tu be-khabar
Mohtaaj manzil ka toh nahi hai
Ye ek tarfa mera safar, safar
Khoobsurat hai manzil se bhi
Meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi
Adhura hoke bhi
Hai ishq mera kaamil
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil
Sanskaar finally turned away and walked towards the door. But Swara’s voice stopped him.
Swara : Sanskaar! I am pregnant. Laksh’s child lives in me. I have a reason to live.
PRECAP : Decisions taken
Hey guys, So sorry for the late post. Was out of station this week. Will upload mmai by this weekend.
And yes, this story is starting as a very common topic.. But i’ll be changing it soon.. maybe within the next two episodes. Hope you all like it 🙂


  1. Mica

    |Registered Member

    crying in the morning… Anjuuuuu !!!!
    hate the society…somehow ppl always thinking about the fortune of being heir, without thinking the agony inside them…..
    luv it soo much.. you portrait sanskar’s feeling,,, huhuhu

  2. Sweetie

    |Registered Member

    Betiiii…Emotional kar diya yaar.. 🙁 Swara is pregnant,good,she got a reason to live now.. 🙂 Heart breaking part was Laksh’s death as I already said that to you and the reason is internal bleeding,I’m crying now.. 🙁 Waiting for MMAI,Love you loads.. 🙂

    • Anjali30


      Aww… Sorry….

      I think next chappie ur gonna kick me 😛 😛 😛

      There is no big reason behind his death… but yeah it’s sad 🙁 🙁

      Don’t worry… Swasan will start now na 😛 😛
      LOVE YOU TOOO!!!! <3 <3

  3. chanu

    jst now I read dis…
    b4 I saw dis ff bt ddnt read dis bz f da name. Its scary when swara is nt 4 sanskar.. soo ddnt read it.. sry.. if u wdnt told me its ur story. I wd miss such a wonderful ff…

    u again make me speechless. I hv no wrds 2 appreciate u drl… hats off 2 u..
    thank u sooo much 4 writing another amazing ff 4 us..

    In 1st epi I feel smthng fishy abt lakshs headache. Bt I guess it as a clot in brain or smthng nt an internal bleeding. 😮
    swaras pov in second epi is awesome. She understand sanskar soo well.. ya he is perfect man.. 🙂
    And cmng 2 lakshs death. I feel soo bad 4 sanky.. u again make me cry dr.. I can understand his pain.. I ws also numb after reading dat.. really and emotional part dr..I hv nly 2 say jst WOW!!!

    I also wnt swasan 2 b 2gethr.. bt after reading dis I also feels like sanskar. I sdnt hv like dis..

    lv ur writing as always dr

    Plz uplode nxt part asap..
    ah sry 4 late cmnt dr
    Keep writing
    be happy always
    lv you

  4. Kavya_08

    |Registered Member

    Wow! This was awesome I loved it😍 I started reading this ff & now I’m so engrossed in it I didn’t feel like stop reading but the chapters finished😂

    Waiting for the next eagerly. Sorry for late comment too

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