I kissed my husband back as soon as he placed his lips on mine. I can feel his happiness. We are going to have baby! Nothing can be more special. The happiness is nothing compared to any happiness in this world. I still can’t believe i am going to become a mother.
He parted his lips just to speak the 3 most beautiful words. ‘i love you’. I feel very ecstatic whenever he says that. I reply him back.
“I can feel something inside me.” I spoke with wet eyelashes. His hand went to my abdomen.
I opened my eyes as soon as i felt the vomiting sensation go through me. It happens daily! Morning sickness, you know.
He held my hair back as i threw up. He is a very caring husband!
We haven’t given the news yet in the home. There are 2-2 happiness in our life. One is our baby and the other is ragini and lakshya ‘s unborn baby. Yes, the next generation of maheshwari’s will be born almost together. Ragini is two months while i am already three.
“I woke up late. Yet again!” I spoke feeling bad. I should have helped others in the household works. But no. Here i was sleeping peacefully.
“Hey, no dear! You are pregnant. It might be a sign of pregnancy. So just chillax.” He sounded like a college boy, using all sorts of short forms in his talks. Yet, his care could not be ignored.
I hit a showpiece as soon as i felt another vomiting sensation. The showpiece broke. But i had to throw up! Nausea is just so uncomfortable!
I wiped my not-so-good-looking face and lied on the bed. I have heard that heading soft music is good for the baby! Why not pop up the earplugs and relax myself!!?
I was about to get uo for taking my ear plugs just to hearing some screams! Ragini? Oh river! Its ragini’s screams. Is she okay? I almost ran to the hall as i saw her holding her stomach and screaming. My heart pierced. I quickly yelled at ma asking if she had called the driver to take the car out.
She nodded and mom and ma started picking her. My eyes fell on the showpiece nearby her. I quickly though what would have happened with her. She might have seen the broken pieces and was about to step on them. But missed her balance and fell. It means she is in this state, just because of me. She is screaming right there, beside me, in the back seat of the car. Her baby is in danger, just because of me. She is in danger. And this is just BECAUSE OF ME!
They took her inside the operation theatre.
“Its all because of me,” I said it aloud!, “She’s in this state because of me.”
“what beta?” Ma questioned me. I told everything to her. I can’t hold it inside me anymore.
Suddenly I felt someone’s steps towards me. And then a harsh touch on my right cheek!
“how could you?” Lakshya said only those 3 words. But mom, she said something which hurt me very much.
“You did this just because you were jealous of her right? You were the elder daughter in law, married earlier than her but couldn’t give a child till now.” She whispered. But her whispers turned a little higher, ” And just because of this, you tried to kill her baby?” She spoke. Her face was completely filled with disgust.
The hot liquid fell from my eyes. I have never felt so bad. Everyone thought i am jealous. How can a woman be jealous just due to children and all?
Sanskar held me by my shoulders. He believes me. He consoled me which didn’t have any effect on me because i am a murderer. Yes, i killed her child. I killed her family. I killed her happiness. I killed her motherhood. I kill her whole life. I killed my family.
Nothing can be worst than this.
only you have killed my child swara!” Both ragini and lakshya might have said me this sentence atleast 3 times.
“And you can never understand what motherhood means!” Sujata mom repeated this several times.
bas! From that time you all are speaking ill about swara that too when you don’t know the truth and..” sanskar was defending me but sujata mom cut him off, “you toh dont say anything sanskar. You would always take her side that too wh-.” This time sanskar interrupted her, “swara is so good that even when she hasn’t done that she accepted everything. But you will not understand this all. You always care about yourself. And now also you are taking ragini and lakshmi side just because she was going to give you a grandchild. Like what the hell? You dont know that even swara is preg-” i shut him up by pulling his hand. I nodded in no when he looked at me.
Now ragini spoke up. “how dare you sanskar ji? First of all, your murderer wife has killed my child and still you are taking her side!! Shame on you.”
“Ragini..” sanskar roared making me jump in fear.
“Already she has faced a miscarriage and you are shouting at her sanskar?” Lakshya spoke up.
“I didnt have a miscarriage. She killled my child.” She said pointing to me.
“My wife isn’t a murderer.”
“She is. Today i came to know it all.”
“Stop!”, It was badepapa this time, the head of the house.
“Just stop everyone.” He continued.
“Badepapa its my last decision. Either swara will stay here or me!” Ragini spoke quickly with rage and turned her tear filled face. It hurt me.
In the past 6 months we grew very close and today suddenly…. its all because of me.
“Swara leave the house.” Badepapa spoke harshly which sounded more like an order and i looked at him with wide eyes.
Every one agreed with him.
“Aise manhoos ke saath rehne se acha mai mar jati.” Sujata mom spoke and left.
“You have taken the perfect decision ji.” Annapura ma spoke and went.
“We dont have any interest in living here.”
Sanskar spoke making everyone shocked.
What is he saying? I deserve this. Even death is a small punishment! Sanskar.. don’t give hurt them. They are your family.
Sujata mom came running, “what are you saying sanskar? For a murderer you are ready to leave us? Are you nuts?”
His eyes were red. He held my wrist and dragged me to the room. Everyone were shouting and telling him to stop except ragini and lakshya. In anger too he took care that he won’t go fast as i couldn’t walk too fast and that too on stairs. But he was walking stomping his feet. I feel so bad at the moment that i feel like bursting loudly in tears. Why dont you kill me god?
Its very difficult to live like this. He locked the door and asked me to fresh up and take some rest till he packs the clothes. He made me sit on the bed, gave me medicines and turned to leave. But i held his wrist.
Why are you doing this sanskar?” I spoke in hoarse voice. My face was still.
He turned and i saw his expressions softened.
He sat on his knees, “Because you are my wife dear. In our marriage i promised to be with you in all thicks and thins..-” i cut him off. “But not when i am wrong.”
“And i know you are right.” He spoke strongly.
“I want to be with you and its final.”
“You only tell me swara what you would have done if you were in my place and i in yours?”
He was correct. I would do the same he is doing. My lips broke into a smile seeing his love. I hugged him. He hugged me that. He gently kissed me to calm me down. That day, we left without giving heed to anyone.
I dont know where we are going. All i know is that he is with me!
Its proof read guys. Sorry for any mistakes. I have typed it by phone and i swear its too difficult.
Dedicated to: A_S
Its your belated birthday gift dear! As promised its here.
Today is my first anniversary as kritika! So started writing again on this day itself!