After few weeks, he got his complete memories and he wondered, how much he changed during past years. His short journey of his past, revealed many things to him. When a person, doesn’t have something to do and his mind was awake, what will he do? Indeed, he would think in this all time.
But amazingly, Sanskar took every realization very well. Like previous time, he didn’t cry every time, nor he felt the need of inhaler more and more. However, the ache in his heart, never subsided. But with realization, he understood the importance of Swara in his life.
Firstly, he thought how much she had aura of goodness around her, when he first time saw her. In his conscious time, he didn’t realize it because his mind was busy in many things. But now, he didn’t have any work to do, except thinking about his past, his situation about present and his future that if he ever wake up from comma or nor? Moreover, he also realized that how kuch he loved his wife.
He always saw her, as his prey, a livestock, blood ceil or anything near these words. But with the passage of time, he realized her importance in his life as well as his own feelings towards her.
She was like light for him. He loved to be with her, often showed his right on her. Because he loved to think that she was only his and his? How much possessive freak he was? Even, he was still possessive for her.
First time, he realized his situation and how was he in that situation? He wondered, why wasn’t he dead or something? But God had others plan for him.
Meanwhile, he also tried to wake up but he didn’t. Something or someone inside of him, was warning him, reminded him, he deserved the situation, in which he was laying helplessly.
During his time of comma, he first time felt something in his heart, which he almost forgot for long time. And it was fear. He wondered, why his heart was anxious, why his soul was restless. And suddenly he realized the new thing. It was fear of losing his most precious thing.
It was fear of losing his wife.
He was in comatose and he remembered what Meera did with him, when he couldn’t give her, what she wanted. And he was afraid, he was afraid like hell, when he realized that he was unable to give Swara, what she wanted from him?
That time, he paused for few moments.
And in the first time, he wondered what Swara wanted from him?
He always thought, he had everything which ever a woman wanted.
He had very charming personality, lots of money, intelligence, sensuality and lust for women. Actually, not for every woman, but he had. He always thought, women only wanted good looking husband, good amount of s*x and luxurious life from men.
But for his beloved, he asked the same question again from himself.
He remembered the time, when he had argument with Shanaya regarding this topic.
He claimed the same thing in front of her but she denied.
“If you think, the women only want these things? You’re totally jerk Sanskar” she retaliated in harsh tone.
“Oh! Then what do the women want? In my life, every women wanted all these things, including you Shanaya! You shouldn’t forget, why are you helping me?” At that time, he didn’t feel ashamed to humiliate her. But now he felt ashamed to recall the words which he used for his best friend. The only person, except Laksh, who never left his side before the arrival of Swara.
But with the passage of time, he started to respect her.
At that time, she answered him something. Now, he thought, her answer should write with Golden Words.
The Golden Words were, “You never get know about woman Sanskar, no matter how much life you spend with them. Women always want more than money and look. And it is care and love. Specially Love. No matter how much the whore, a woman would be! In her dark time, she feels loneliness and craving of someone. Who can share her burden and whose loneliness she share. No matter, how bad a woman is, in her whole life. She crave for true love, instead of good looks and money. That time, she would repent for her sins and it is the punishment of a woman that no one love tainted women”
That time, he didn’t understand her words but now he understood how much craving and desire were in her tone.
He again loathed himself to use her. He could save her but he didn’t.
But after the moment, he took one oath. That he couldn’t save one very Precious person in his life. But he never allow his wife to spend tough life, without him. No matter, whatever it would take, he would sake up for his wife. For his unborn child and for the sake of their love.
fan fiction December 11, 2016