Swasan path hate to love ep 16
This silence made me restless and I exhausted like I was working since lives. She closes the dairy and lays down beside her.
This silence made me restless and I exhausted like I worked since lives. Silence some time, gives us hope, but this hope will ruin just because of some harsh words. But this is not the first incident for him when he hurt by the words of someone actually his love one. He stopped his car and opened the door. He’s without driver, because this time he wants some relaxation of mind because some time, it becomes impossible to control his rage. So he knows very well when he should show his rage and when he should control it. He goes to this small house which was the evidenceof his many sins, his every tears and his helplessness to his credulity towards the world. He goes in front ofthe mirror and sees his reflection, his hairs are scattered on his forehead. Hes wearing a gray blazer with white shirt and paint. He forgot to wear his watch because of his rage. He sits on the single chair in this house and takes out his slow poisoning from his pocket. Because of Dr recommendation he leaved cigarette from few weeks and this time he didn’t need to take this thing because it was only his tension reliever and nowadays He doesn’t have any tension. He pulls his slow poisoning and leave the smoke in the air. He sighs and looks his reflection in the mirror:”so Mr Sanskar Maheshwari! Finally someone has shown you the earth…. “ He laughs like his voice is a mixture of broken crystals. He sighs and reminds the world of Swara, and bows down his head on his knees. This house is curdle of him so he can show his tears and emotions to this dirty house easily and didn’t feel any shame to express his pain to his secret keeper.
After the first night, he completely feels good. He wonders about his irrigation because he used many women in his life. Some of them were very cunning who know very well how to handle men. His all time sleeping partner Shanaya is also included in this type of women. But her touch really showed him paradise, that doesn’t mean he didn’t experience of virgin girls, but so Swara’s touch made him crazy. He experienced every type of women in his life because many time Shanaya goes on outside the city so this time he used that type of girls who falls on his money or personality. In starting, he also considered Swara in these types of girls who ready to present themselves for his money or personality. But this girl changed his thought completely that everything is not for sale. But he is a master mind of making any plan, so he planned to make her his. This was not so difficult for this subtle man who has great intellectual and vast sources.
He reminds her reflection of the first night, when she hated him, but that night except he didn’t see fear in her eyes. So, intentionally he did hope in his heart, maybe he’ll get some real happiness in his life too. He again pulls cigarette and changed his gesture and sighs again to imagine her angelic shadow when she was wearing a white dress with diamonds, that time mesmerized to see her but in his heart, he thought that there’s something which incomplete her. He noticed her bear nose and first time specially purchase for someone, Something. He knows very well, she’ll not wear it so early, but after hearing her answer has confirmed she’ll never wear it at any cost. He reminds her first hug when she hugged him to consider him asleep. He was wondered but as well as happy to think that at least she felt protective in his arms. he remembers the taste of kheer which she made especially for him according to his mom’s recipe but alas! All went in vain because his hope is absorbing in the smoke of cigarettes and he primed himself to not give hope to himself because this hope is just giving him a pain, nothing else. He looked again his reflection and laughed to himself:”looked Sanskar! This is you, who always think about victory, but now defeated by a little girl. A girl who doesn’t have knowledge of this world, a girl who is simple and pure, but you!” he points out to his reflection in mirror “but you! You considered yourself as most clever man in this world, you defeated by a simple girl who is not so intelligent. Your plan is failed Mr Maheshwari! You’re failed Sanskar Maheshwari!”
He thinks that his reflection is making fun of him and laughing at himself, look yourself in the mirror and celebrate the triumph of your failure. He takes out another cigarette and starts smoking with his same desperate thoughts. After his fifth cigarette, he felt problem to breath. He has asthma problem and Dr strictly forbid him to smoke.He also agreed with them, but this time he didn’t control himself because he exalts his rage in smoking.
He ignored the problem of breathtaking and continuously thinks about his flaws and weaknesses which meet him with defeat from a girl who is ten years younger than him. He left the cigarette and tries to breath. He goes to the window and open it, fresh morning airs come and touches his face, he felt a bit better for a few seconds but still he felt suffocated. He again tries to breath, but all go in vain. He really needs inhaler to breath openly. But he is really careless about these matters, so he never keeps inhaler with him. But Shanaya puts this in his car commonly. He opens his mouth and inhales all airs in his throat but it also proves useless for him. He goes towards the door, his car is far from the main door of this small cottage. He goes towards his car, but his walking is unstable, which showed his problem of taking a breath. He had hardly arrived near his car and open it. He desperately searches his inhaler, but he didn’t find it anywhere. His breath is not coming to him and he’s not so superman to live without taking breath. He again tries to inhale, but he can’t, birds are chirping and the new day is completely comes out of the dark shadow of night.
All creatures of god, stop their breath for a moment to see this ungrateful creature of God who has blessing of all types of abilities by god. But it’s human instinct, he gives to the world what he found from this world. So it’s just a matter of give and take, so how is it possible to grow a rose when you sow a acacia in the garden of your life. He exhausted to seek inhaler, but he didn’t find it anywhere in the car. He wants to call someone, but his voice is not coming from his throat. He hardly takes out his mobile and gives message to shanaya. He knows very well, she is busy in her work so there is less hope, she’ll arrive here. He leaves his head on the back of the seat and saw the sun, which is brightly enlighten in front of the world this time, but after some time, it has to set with the order of its god. He thinks about the hell and smirks because he is the person, who has no hope of heaven. Like Marlow’s Dr Faustus, he sold his soul tothe devil for the luxuries of his life. So maybe it’s the result of his bond with the devil and now he has to meet with his physical end because he was dead spiritually from long time.
Credit to: saba