Do I deserve you?
‘Remember Swara.. if you will leave me today, I will not accept you later ever.’ This words of Sanskar were revolving in her mind..
It had been 6 months to the day which changed everyone’s life, Laksh went missing, Swara and Ragini left MM and came to Badi and are staying there while Sanskar became a workholic…
Elders missed their fun and teasings..
Ragini was drowned in her own pain that she missed to see her sister’s suffering which she without any fault was bearing.
Swara used to hide her pain from everyone and always a forceful smile was on her face, it was only she who know how much broken she was.
She used to call Uttara and ask about Sanskar and his health, medicines, work etc.. and uttara used to get teary eyes seeing the unconditional love but was unable to do anything for her ‘Bhai-Bhabhi’.
But yesterday night everything changed, happiness knocked their door again.
Her Sanskar fulfilled his promise and brought back Laksh.
Everyone was happy on his arrival but she was only one who was fighting back her thoughts sitting in the corner of her room (in badi).
This is not she is not happy.. she is extremely happy on seeing a beautiful smile playing on her sisters lips and her eyes sparkling.
But she herself ruined her life completely.
He came and told about Laksh’s arrival but didnt said a word after and left immidately ignoring everyone.
‘May be he dont want me anymore..
Ofcourse why will he? Afterall I did the worst to him.. he loved me but I only hurted him in return. He needed me and I left him. He is just keeping his words and this time I will not force him.. he has complete right to think of his happiness, I will not spoil anything now.’ She thought and wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks.
She stood up from her place and then looked at the clock hanging on the wall… it reads 2:30..
‘It is 2:30 in the night.. I will leave everyone. Because I know if I will stay here.. I will not let him go and will try to get him but he deserves best not me.’ Thinking this she packed her bag and took the money which she was collecting from last 6 months going to Music School hiding from everyone.. only place she got some relief, some peace where she was able to divert her mind for sometimes from all the mishaps happening in her life.
She picked a paper and pen and scribbled some words over it and placed it on the side table and left the house not without glancing once at every sleeping figure..
She walked for sometime and came outside the ‘Maheshwari Mansion’ and without her knowledge tears started to roll down her eyes..
At the same time.
Sanskar was sleeping in his room..
Suddenly he woke up with a jerk.
‘What the hell is happening to me? Why I am getting this much restless?’ He questioned himself but his mind chose to stay silent.
‘Is she fine?’ His heart asked.
He became tensed and immediately changed left to go to Badi.
Swara was battling with her thoughts to go in or not.. finally she dropped the idea and started to move back..
Sanskar came out by the moment but didnt find anything and hurridely drove the car to Badi.
He reached there in no time and saw the lights off. He thought to go in but then checked the time.. it is 3:15 by now.
‘Will it be ok if I go at this time?’ He thought but his restlessness was increasing every second..
So he chuked all his thoughts and went inside from the backside silently not disturbing anyone.
He knocked once after reaching at her door but no one answered.
He without thinking anything pushed the door, to his shock it was not bolted.
He moved inside and on the flashlight of his phone and checked every corner of the room but it was empty.
‘Where the hell is she?’ He thought worrying about her.
Then his eyes fell on the paper at the side table.
He grabbed it instantly and started to read.
‘I am sorry, I am sorry Sanskar. I know this word can not change what you have gone through from last 6 months because of me. I am sorry for everything but dont worry I will make sure not to show my face to anyone hereafter. I will never come back. I hope you get someone who love you not the one like me, the one who deserves you. Dont try to find me think that I died somewhere and if possible dont hate me.
I will always love you.
The letter ends, now his eyes were red with her.
‘Stupid Girl.’ He cursed her gritting his teeth and rolling his hand in fist and checked the time.
It is 3:30.
He touched the paper and saw the tear marks, it was not easy for her even to go away but her guilt was much bigger.
He left the place in search of her..
‘How can she think he will not find her?’ He thought.
He was driving the car and looking outside in search of her..
For about 2 hour, he searched her, roamed on the roads of Kolkata
Many negative thoughts started to build up in his mind…
‘No I cant think all this, nothing will happen to her.’ He thought and stopped the car and started to take deep breathes closing his eyes.
He was about to start the engine again but his eyes land on a figure standing in the middle of the ‘Howrah Bridge’.
He adjusted his eyes and prayed to god that she should be His Swara.
He stepped out of the car and moved towards the girl standing there.
On sensing some one coming close to her, the girl turned and she was none other than Swara.
He sighed in relief seeing her safe and sound but she seeing him become shocked and started to move avoiding him.
He became confused seeing her going away but then remember about her Stupid Letter and moved towards her.
He stopped her holding her wrist and turned her towards himself suddenly and harshly.
She collided with his hard toned chest, she turned but was looking down, tears marks were visible on her cheeks and new tears were threathening to fall down her eyes but she closed her eyes and take a deep breath.
“Let me go.” She said trying to get out of his grip but he only tightened his grip in response.
“Not again. I will not do same mistake again.” He said looking at her, listening to his words she was shocked and immediately looked at him trying to find which ‘mistake’ he is talking about.
“Please Sanskar.. I dont deserve you. Let me go. Be happy you have your whole life.” She said not finding any answers and slowly breaking down in tears silently.
“How will I be happy? If you are taking my life with you. I know what I spoke was wrong but Swara beleive me I am Sorry. I cant live without you. I love you.”
“Sanskar you didnt said anything wrong. Anyone at your place could have done this. But I am not suitable for you. I was so lost in my Sister’s pain that I failed to see yours.. i am very bad wife.. i didnt care for you.”
“Yes you are bad thats why you always asked Uttara about me. Thats why when I suffered from fever and unconcious whole night you came at 12 without telling anyone and stayed by my side caressing my hairs and changing cold water strips.”
She looked at him as how he came to know all this.
“When Uttara was talking to you, I heard everything. I thought it was my dream but I was delighted to know you came for me but I was very much angry that you came at night alone and today you crossed all limits. How could you think of leaving me alone?
And what was that letter haan? How dare you say me to think of you as dead?” Saying this he gripped her shoulders tightly.
“Dont you know Sanskar is nothing without Swara. This much big punishment for my words.” He said tears started to roll down his eyes as well.
She looked at him and raised her hand to wipe his tears but he moved back.
“What you thought that I dont love you? My love was fake for you? I am sorry for my words.. i really am.”
“Please Sanskar dont say this. You are not at fault it is me. I am sorry. Pleaseeee. I know you love me more than anything and I can never doubt on you.”
“Then how can you say I hate you? Right I was angry first but then I understood you. I know what must be your state.”
“But in evening you left I thought you dont want me.. i only hurt you so i didnt want to hurt you more so I left.”
“Yes In evening I left to take you with me. I made arrangements so that we can start afresh and let out pain and past away from our future. You know Swara I was hurt I was very much hurt when you chose Ragini and went with her but I came to Badi that night to talk to you and saw you talking to yourself.”
Swara was standing on the window of her room.
“I am sorry Sanskar I am very sorry. I know I did wrong to you but that time I dont know what to do and seeing Ragini’s state I lost it. I am sorry.. if possible dont hate me pleasee.. I love you.. i want to come to you but I cant.. which i did i cant undo it. I am Sorry. I am ready to bear any punishment of the sin.” She talked to herself but Sanskar heard her words who was standing outside the window.
‘That time I made my mind that I will talk to you after settling everything so that you dont have any sort of guilt in your heart. The day I said those words I didnt fail to read your eyes which were showing how much difficult it is for you to do this. You saw me and Ragini.. i know if you would have not gone with her she must have done something.. i wont lie I was hurt but i understand.
I loved you when I was knowing that may be you will never love me back, I never expected you to love me back. But you loved me even after what all I did to you. You forget all my mistakes and gave me a chance then cant I give you a chance when I know you didnt did anything for you but for our families, how much you suffered. How much it pained you.. i married you, i vowed I will be by your side forever. If you will make a mistake, i will the one to rectify it and tell you. Dont leave me, pleasee.” He completed looking at her with teary eyes.
“I love you Sanskar..” she confessed and hugged him tightly.
“I love you too Princess.” He said hugging her back and she tightened her grip.
“Do I deserve you, Sanskar?” she asked him.
“You deserve much more than this jaan.” He said and both stood their with tears in the eyes.
“No you are the best.”
“Can I ask you one thing?” Sanskar asked to which she just hummed.
“Can we start afresh? Away from everyone. Only you and me and no one else?” He asked.
“You need not to ask me, you have complete rights. I will be the happiest to do so.” She said truthfully.
Answer me truthfully how was this?
This is one way of the story.. in which he loved her selflessly but if you want another one with revenge thing do tell me?? I would love to write one more??..
And yes do tell me your favourite track from the serial which you wanted to be rewritten, I will try to write that one next.
But dont forget to comment.
Love you all.❤❤