SWASAN – MR MAHESHWARI AND I
Heyy, It’s Anjali back with the next chapter!!!
Thnxx for comments and to my silent readers….
THIS IS A SUPER LONG CHAPTER!!!! HAVE FUN!!!
I realise some of you might be finding it hard to find the chapters among the million million ffs’ present… So I’ve added this url.. IT will have all my chapters together… From the latest onwards.. Hope you find it helpful…
Swasan learn about Saanvi. Swara talks to Laksh
Swara : I have one last question, in parts. Not including love in the picture, Do you think Saanvi would suit you? Do you think you would be happy with her? Can you imagine leading a comfortable life with her?
Laksh drew a sharp breath, then looked straight into Swara’s eyes, ready with his answer.
Laksh : I….
Swara : You know what? Forget I asked that. It’s not fair to you to think about it. Laksh, I’m not going to force you to do anything. You can make any decision and I’ll stick by you. So will Sanskaar. You know that right?
Laksh smiled at her and nodded.
Swara : I don’t know what will happen now but I don’t want my best friend to be hurt. So think about whatever you want to do and then go talk to Saanvi. Not to me or to Sanskaar. This is between the two of you.
Laksh nodded again.
Laksh : I’ll go talk to Saanvi.
Swara (softly) : Happiness may not be found anywhere unless one looks for it. Just remember that.
She gave him a hug then went in search of Sanskaar.
Laksh stared at her retreating form and then closed his eyes and began pondering on what to do.
SOME TIME LATER
Saanvi was sitting and reading in the library. Or rather, She was trying to read but failing miserably. Never in her life had books failed her, but today, She couldn’t cheer up even though she was reading Shakespeare, her favourite.
She shivered as she wrapped the shawl around her tightly. She didn’t know if she was shivering due to nerves or the cold. It was only May now. It was the peak of summer. How could it be so cold?
She decided to walk for a while and calm her fraying nerves down. It would also warm her. Having made the decision, she set the huge Shakespeare book down looking at it fondly, then walked out the library where she promptly ran into Sanskaar.
Sanskaar : Hey, Be careful.
He neatly side stepped and avoided clashing into her.
Saanvi (gasping) : Oh! I’m so sorry.. I didn’t know you were coming. The door opens outward, you see.
Sanskaar (chuckling) : Don’t worry. No harm done.
He gave her a dazzling smile and Saanvi realised once again why Swara loved him. He was such a reliable comfortable soul and everyone who saw him knew it. She smiled. Sanskaar handed her a mug of soup, taking one for himself.
Sanskaar : My wife asked me to give this to you.
Saanvi could not help but beam at Sanskaar’s expression when he spoke of Swara. His eyes softened and his smile just grew a little bit wider, if possible.
Sanskaar (noticing her smile) : What makes you so happy?
Saanvi (shaking her head) : It’s nothing really. I just couldn’t help but notice you used my wife instead of Swara.
Sanskaar (laughing) : I suppose it makes sense to use Swara… But I can’t stop myself from reminding myself and EVERYONE that she’s my wife. A bit cheesy, I know, but it’s a miracle that we both are together today.
Saanvi : Really Sanskaar? Why’s that?
Sanskaar : It may not seem so, But Swara and I are the most stubborn people alive. We are extremely competitive and we live to torture each other… (Saanvi chuckled pointing at the chore Swara had made him do) The mug? Oh, That’s for my safety. A good husband always does what his wife tells him to.
Saanvi laughed again and then turned to Sanskaar seriously.
Saanvi : You didn’t mean all of that, did you? The torturing part? Following her rules?
Sanskaar (shaking his head) : I suppose not literally. But let me tell you this Saanvi. When you love someone so much that you cannot live without that person, You don’t think of these as chores, you think of them are mere frivolities. I love Swara more that I can put in words…. The teasing each other part of life… It’s just something we’ve accustomed to.
Saanvi nodded thoughtfully before staring at a far off point. She lost track of the conversation until she heard Sanskaar mention Laksh.
Saanvi : I beg your pardon?
Sanskaar : I was just talking about Laksh.
Saanvi closed her eyes. Laksh… Just the name made her feel better. He was her heart, her soul, her everything. If only she could ask him to return some of it back.
Sanskaar : Love never fails, you know. If you love someone, then surely you will get your wish one day.
Saanvi (smiling sadly) : That’s what I thought too. But now I am not so sure. Maybe my love isn’t strong enough, but I…
Sanskaar (firmly) : Nonsense. Just see, Your wish will be fulfilled one day.
Saanvi : Laksh loves Ragini. Shouldn’t his wish be fulfilled?
Sanskaar (nodding) : You’ve got me there. But I think that Laksh is due for someone more special. (gazing pointedly at her) You love him a lot. Anyone can see that…
Saanvi : Anyone but him. (sighing) Maybe you’re right. Maybe someday he might change. But I think I’ve ruined my chance with him. I pushed him too hard and I cannot blame him now if he refuses. He… He doesn’t need me.
Sanskaar (softly) : Maybe he thinks he doesn’t. But I feel he does.
Saanvi looked at him startled. He nodded and then placed a hand on her cheek in a brotherly gesture.
Sanskaar : I really would like you to be my sister, Saanvi. Only you can make that happen. All the best.
And with one last smile, he left her on top of the stairs shouting for Swara. Saanvi sighed and sat on top. As she sipped her soup, she thought about something Swara had said before when they were talking.
Swara : If you want to be a Maheshwari, You have to understand them.
Saanvi ( brows furrowing ) : I’m sorry?
Swara : The Maheshwari brothers are complicated. You should have seen how frustrated I was with Sanskaar when I first met him. I hated him. But all I had to do was understand him. Each brother is different, Saanvi… But in one aspect. They are the same. They cannot bear to hurt others when they can hurt themselves.
Saanvi (shaking her head) : I don’t understand.
Swara : Sanskaar, Adarsh and Laksh would give their all to protect someone. But when they have to choose between their happiness and someone else’s, they would give up their own to ensure it. Sanskaar thought it was best to stay away from me because he didn’t want to hurt me. I was mad, frustrated and terribly sad. Didn’t my love for him matter at all? Then later I understood. In his own way of thinking, he thought he was protecting me. You see, They have always had to have the air of self confidence and remain in control. When something threatens that, when someone can see that they are vulnerable, it unnerves them.
Saanvi looked at her still looking a bit confused.
Swara : You didn’t understand completely, did you? Adarsh is engaged to Sakshi now. But he almost left her because he didn’t want to hurt his mother by not allowing her to choose a wife for him. You feel depressed because Laksh shouted at you and you think you failed?
Saanvi nodded slightly and looked down. Swara’s tone made her sit up again.
Swara (softly) : I think the main reason Laksh shouted at you is because he feels guilty.
Saanvi (shocked) : Guilty?
Swara (nodding) : Laksh loves my sister Ragini.
Saanvi (in a more shocked tone) : RAGINI is your sister?
Swara (confused) : Yes! Didn’t you know that?
Saanvi : Swara! I’m so sorry.. I didn’t mean to come in your sister’s way.. I mean.. I..
Swara : Don’t worry Saanvi! If Ragini had felt even a drop of feeling other than friendship for Laksh, I would be on her side. But she is happily in love with another.
Saanvi : Why should Laksh feel guilty then?
Swara : As I was saying, Laksh loves Ragini. But he can never act on that. Then you came proclaiming your love for him. I’m not blaming you… But Laksh doesn’t know what to do without hurting you. He can’t forget Ragini but he doesn’t want you hurt. Yet he feels that ultimately, he might have to hurt you. Which is why he feels guilty.
Saanvi’s eyes widened.
Saanvi : He shouldn’t. Oh Swara! I’ve made a mess of things. If only I had waited to understand him.. If only it wasn’t too late.
Swara : I refuse to come between the two of you. I don’t want to force him nor do I want him to hurt you. So I’m staying out of this. But I need you both to talk and come to some decision. If you love him, you’ll know what to do.
Laksh : Saanvi!
Startled, Saanvi came back into focus. She looked at Laksh blankly before realising that he was waiting for her.
Saanvi (uncertainly) : Yes?
Laksh : May I talk to you?
As if in a daze, Saanvi nodded and followed him as he led her down a long corridor. She didn’t pay attention as she walked. She was too busy thinking.
If you love him, you’ll know what to do.
Swara had said that but it was not true. She had no idea what to do. She was too confused and too ashamed that she had been so selfish in trying to get Laksh. She had treated his feelings cavalierly and now she didn’t know what was going to happen. What should she tell him? Why did he want to talk to her?
These thoughts kept whirling around in her mind and she walked on oblivious to the fact that Laksh had stopped. She crashed into him and tripped. She closed her eyes bracing for the fall but strong hands caught her. She opened her eyes to see Laksh holding her. She stared straight into his eyes wondering why he had kept her from falling. He didn’t like her, did he?
Saanvi : Thank you.
She straightened herself and looked down.
Saanvi : Why did you stop?
Laksh opened the door and asked her to step in. She went in and saw it was a study of some sorts. Three huge shelves lined with books were present and at the centre, a large table with one large chair was there. But it was the walls that struck her the most. The wall was filled with lines and verse, all from great authors and poets.
She smiled as she saw a sonnet from Shakespeare’s As you like it on one end and the brooks poem on another wall. Laksh noticed her smiling and he smiled back.
He bent towards her, almost overpowering her with his larger form as he whispered next to her ear. She closed her eyes.
Laksh (whispering) : You understand words, Don’t you?
Saanvi nodded, feeling breathless. Counting to ten to calm herself down, She opened her eyes and saw the picture perfect room. Then she noticed Laksh leaning against the desk, his arms crossed and she nodded again. She couldn’t make her own decision but she would accept his.
Saanvi : Laksh.. I
At the same time,
Laksh : Saanvi!
They looked at each other in surprise before Saanvi began again.
Saanvi : I’m sorry.
Laksh (startled) : What?
Saanvi : I’m sorry. I was insensitive to your feelings. (looking at his confused expression) I mean… I know you loved someone… But I could see the pain in your eyes and thought if I just told you how I felt, you would forget that pain and be mine. You love her and I was selfish to want to keep you. I’m sorry… I’m really sorry. I love you so much that I didn’t think of the consequences. I…
She was crying now. Crying for the love she had lost, crying for the man who loved someone he couldn’t have but most of all, crying for she had forced her love on him when he was in such a state.
Laksh : SAANVI!
His arms came around her and she took the comfort it offered her. His embrace was protective and made her feel warm all over. She tried to calm herself down but soon she realised who was holding her and she shrugged off.
Saanvi ( turning the other way ) : I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to….. I’ll…
Laksh : Saanvi!
Saanvi stopped talking yet didn’t look at him. She dried her tears and stood fidgeting awkwardly.
Laksh : I love Ragini.
Saanvi nodded and closed her eyes, flinching a bit. Laksh went on.
Laksh : You know, At first I didn’t believe that you loved me.
Saanvi (looking at him straight for the first time) : My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.
Laksh (eyebrows raised) : Romeo and Juliet!
Saanvi : You understand words.. The same as me. Do you believe I don’t love you now?
Laksh (shaking his head) : I realised that the same day. You had the same expression I did. The one people have when they’re broken-hearted.
She looked at him and gave him a smile. Even when they were discussing what seemed to be their last conversation, he had managed to make her smile.
Laksh : To see her was to love her, love but her, and love for ever;
Saanvi stared at him startled.
Laksh (continuing) : Had we never lov’d so kindly, had we never lov’d so blindly, never met– or never parted, We ne’er had been broken-hearted.
Saanvi (quietly) : Robert Burns. How apt.
Laksh : So you read poems too?
Saanvi : As much as I can.
Laksh (smiling then turning serious) : I need to apologise to you, Saanvi.
Saanvi (surprised) : Me? Why?
Laksh : I didn’t mean to shout at you. I just.. I didn’t know how to respond. I never ever wanted to hurt you. I am honoured of your love but I am not worth it.
Saanvi (interrupting) : Please don’t say that… It’s not true..
Laksh (his voice higher) : But it is. I love someone who is in love with another. They are to be married and I cannot feel completely happy for her. Meanwhile I’m hurting you. I just feel horrible. (walking up to her and keeping his hands on her shoulders) Can you forgive me?
Saanvi nodded, blinking the tears out of her eyes. She reached out her hand to cup his face but at the last minute couldn’t do it. She looked at him, his eyes on her and smiled.
Saanvi : Thank you for not throwing my love back in my face. I guess I’ll be leaving now. I will wait for your next book. Write it soon please. Good bye, Laksh.
Laksh ( confused) : Where are you going?
Saanvi : Home, I guess. I would love to see Papa right now.
Laksh : But why?
Saanvi (raising an eyebrow) : What do you mean? I have nothing to do here…
Laksh (loudly) : You do! (softer) Saanvi! I actually…. have something I want to ask you.
Saanvi : Yes?
Laksh : I would like to get to know you better and if we can be friends, I would like to spend my life with you.
Saanvi was shocked.
Saanvi (screeching) : YOU WHAT??
PRECAP : SWASAN <3 <3
Sorry for the short chappie… Am leaving for tirupati tom for 2 days.. so wanted to post before that… Will show SWASAN in a huge way in the next epi <3 <3
Hope this chappie is ok… sorry if it's not good… wrote it hurriedly.. 🙁 🙁
Will pray for u all… <3 LOVE YOU!!!!!
I won't be coming here for the next 2 days 🙁 🙁 MISS YOU!