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SWASAN: If this is your love, my Prince… Then please trust me [38]

12

All the precedent chapters here:
Previous Episodes********************************************************************************
ANNOUCEMENT:
Hello lovely Swasanians and all the adorable readers of this story which made me meet you all, thank you so so much for your replies I’m so sorry for not yet replying to all.

Today is a big day in this Swasanian’s journey started when the serial was still running on its last episodes turning the end to something else in the need of clarifying everything, ending all the suspended stories and giving sense to the unexplicable we all felt with the last track.

It started just after the six months of separation, somewhere after Uttara’s engagement and Laksh’s kade death but no Mansi and bad Nikhil trap, no silly kidnapping for the family and useless explanation for Laksh’s disappearance.

Hope it gave you as much satisfaction as it was for me to write it for you and I’m sorry for making so much of you cry most of time but still, I’ll remind you of some happy moments 🙂

Ok… enough of blabering, I’m here to make an annoucement… good new and bad news!

GOOD NEWS:

3 remaining chapters… today you’ll have 3 chapters back to back… enjoy them till the end and give me your feedbacks please, I really want to know how it was for you

BAD NEWS:

this is the end… at the 3rd part you’ll have to say goodbye to our heavenly couple in this FF

So enjoy it fully and make me know your feeling about this end 🙂

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In the hospital waiting area, all the Maheshwari family members are there, sitting telling a prayer in their hearts their hands joined. Ragini is sobbing silently resting her head over Laksh’ shoulder who clutches her fingers tightly in comfort not finding a reassuring word to say, Uttara laying aside, her head in her bade ma’s lap, she couldn’t stop her endless tears her eyes looking to the void. Sujatta in the next seat can’t hold her tears too.
Ram Prasad brings a glass of water for his brother whose ashen face was mirroring the anxiety they’re living for the past hour since they reached the medical establishment in their night’s gowns.
Suddenly Gadodias arrive alarmed, Sharmista crying her Shona’s name inconsolably only sustained by Shekar’s hand to oblige her trembling legs to walk. Ragini wipes her tears immediately hurrying toward her to hug her tightly saying reassuringly:
– Doctors are with her ma… Swara is in good hands…
Shekar tries to keep a neutral tone despite his shining with tears eyes as he asks:
– Beta,what happened all of sudden, she was all right hai na?
No one had the answer to this question, they just look toward the intensive care unit’s door where Sanskar was standing like a statue, his clothes covered with blood, his pale face expressionless and his reddened eyes moist from his repressed tears. He seems unaware of any surrounding and when his mother pitiful of his state tries to go and talk to him, she’s stopped by Annapurna who presses her hand asking her to stay in place saying with a shaking voice:
– let him Sujatta… not now!

– But… jiji…

Face to her sister in law glare, she finishes by agreeing and gives an eloquent scolding gaze toward her daughter who stands up trying to apologize for the billionth time:
– I’m sorry aunty… Sorry Uncle… This is all my fault… Bhabi wouldn’t have come out to save me… I…
– Uttara beta… Calm down…
Her bade ma stops her afraid of Sanskar’s reaction as he’s still not talking to her since that day.

But Sanskar wasn’t even seeing them. His memories flying unexpectedly back long time ago, to those sweet memories of his Swara carefree… Fearless and smiling to the world even in the worst… her healthy and happy image nagging him recalling all what she’s no more!

He feels like he did nothing but steal all that from her by his deeds… His presence… His love. What would have been her life if he didn’t appear one day like an abshaghun throwing her in a relationship she has always refused just to snatch her from it forcefully breaking what she wished even more than her life… family!
He promised help to purify his soul from the sin he did playing with an innocent girl’s life, heart and name but couldn’t be as noble as he had to be… It has a cost, a cost he needed her to pay…his love to bear! His madness… His possessiveness… Yet when she finally accepted it, he broke her heart again…
She kindly gave him another chance… Then another…then another… Still he just kept failing every time.

Closing his eyes, he sees bitterly her state months ago in flashbacks, when he made her believe his death and how it leaded him to this day… his errors are costing her so much today and still he finds a way to complain!

Suddenly, the door opens and Doctor Sharma comes out bowing her head in that bad manner only doctor’s have to apologize for bad things to say, the family gathers around him hastily waiting for news.

– Mr. Maheshwari, Swara had a severe hemorrhage due to a placental abruption, it’s a pregnancy’s complication and we have to operate her as soon as she’s stable… the baby and her life are both in danger and we can’t wait more.

He stays stoic, registering the information like if his brain has simply stopped working for a moment, this is unexpected and the words he fails to formulate expressing his incomprehension are asked by Ragini :

– But Doctor… how is it possible? Swara didn’t make any supplement effort for the past months and her pregnancy is more surveyed than any other woman, how is it possible to not prevent that complication?

– Ragini ji, this complication isn’t predictable and we all know Swara’s pregnancy conditions… nothing was predicting it, she’s young and had never smoked or taken drugs… she’s not…

The doctor stops abruptly frowning at Ragini and Sanskar’s faces’ expressions, she turns toward Sanskar asking sternly:

– Mr. Maheshwari? Swara has never been taking drugs, hai na?

All the family members fail to hide their shock, Laksh sustains Ragini who is about falling all of sudden thinking about the doctor’s explications

– Mr. Maheshwari, answer me! Did Swara have been taking drugs in the past yes or no?

Sanskar finishes by mumbling his eyes lost in the void:

– She has been drugged without her knowledge for months… long time ago!

– And you didn’t find it necessary to tell me that since those whole months!?

The doctor’s words were rude but not rudder than his screaming conscience stabbing his heart at the next angry declaration of the good doctor:

– I’m a doctor Sanskar, a miracles’ maker nahi…

Closing her eyes trying to calm down, she takes a deep breath saying:

– She’s conscious, you can see her but not for long, she needs rest and calmness… we’ll operate her in the morning…

All the family members enter the ward letting behind them Sanskar, Laksh and Ragini who chokes in her cries trying to say something, but before she could talk, he turns his back to her and walks away silently…

Laksh’ wraps her in his arms soothing her sobs caressing her hair tenderly, failing to hide his own tears.

****

Swara closes her eyes a tender smile drawing her lips and tears pearling from her eyelashes when her family finally left her alone, their smiles, encouragement and comforting words repeating in her ears. She’s amazed by her mother’s strength finding the way to maintain a brave face and reassuring tone while she knows how much she’s suffering. Now more than ever, she knows a mother’s heart feeling face to her child’s pain. Her hand kept over her round belly presses its caress taking a deep breath trying to not break down now, she knows the situation perfectly and at the point she’s reaching, hope starts a declining path. She feels strangled at the idea of the difficult breaths this small life inside her is struggling to have through the partially abrupt placenta and she has no more forces to even make a wish that nothing bad will happen until the morning.

A sound around makes her open her eyes suddenly, looking aside she’s surprised to see Ragini kneeling on the ground just beside her, looking to her silently tears drowning her face. Frowning, she mumbles:

– Ragini!?

– You were wrong Swara… all what you thaught me was wrong…

Swara blinks few times unable to understand her sister’s words, she tries to adjust herself in a better position so she could see her properly and asks worriedly:

– Kya hua Ragini? What… what happened?… why are you saying that?

Tilting her head aside, Ragini keeps silent for a moment before she could finally say on a trembling tone:

– You taught me that goodness always wins whatever happens, that the right path is sure difficult to take but still it will make you reach your destination, that good things finish by happening in good persons’ life… but… but you were wrong Swara… you’ve always been wrong…

– Ragini!?

Swara couldn’t stop her tears seeing her sister in that desperate state, she knows perfectly what her sister is referring too and wants to stop her, to yell at her that she can’t lose her faith like this, not now after all what they lived but she hasn’t enough forces for that and before she could reply, Ragini continues looking down:

– Ha Swara… you’re wrong… this… this world is wrong… I… I… I should be the one suffering so much for my deeds… and you… you should being here at my place… reassuring me… saying that it’s ok Ragini… that everything will be fine… if… if you were right, you shouldn’t be paying the price of my bad acts… and I shouldn’t be here fit and healthy…

– What are you saying Ragini!? Did you lose your mind?

Stretching her hand toward her, she wince painfully trying to sit up but Ragini hurries toward her taking her hand in hers and keeping a hand over her shoulder making her lay down again crying:

– What are you doing ?

– No Ragini, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? You’re my Ragini, my half which giving me strength to fight out, you’re Ragini who is taking care of my family and doing my duties not even thinking about herself for a moment, you’re my Ragini who is giving Ma the needed support to look at me without breaking… how can you break down now? I need you strong Ragini…

Her tears choke her angry words as her younger sister holds her hand against her lips crying badly, she closes her eyes tightly at her words:

– Don’t be so cruel Swara, don’t be so good hearted… I’m the reason of your pains since the day we knew we’re sisters until now… shout at me… accuse me… tell me how bad I am… how heartless I have been wishing your death then and causing it now!

– Have you finished?

Swara’s stern voice stops her sobs, she looks up to her face covered with a rude expression with swollen eyes and whispers:

– Sorry…

As Ragini frees her stretched hand from her grip, she pulls on her ear making her coming closer to her face, so she could talk without raising her voice feeling forceless:

– How many times will have to tell you that “that” Ragini wasn’t my Ragini?… wasn’t the twin-heart sister forming Swaragini… and if today my Ragini isn’t with me, so Swara will not be too…

Swara’s words surprise her bringing a smile at her lips despite the shining tears in her eyes as she sees her fake angry face turns smily again, her hand wiping her tears while saying:

– You’ll always be a baccha, Ragini… you’re becoming a Masi, grow up na!

They both laugh faintly to each other and Ragini plunges in her embrace crying again her lips repeating again:

– I’m so sorry… so sorry Swara…

***

Later, Swara drift off in a deep restful sleep her heart aching worriedly in Sanskar’s absence. in her dreams, she plunges in sweet memories of their unconventional love story started between betrayer and revenge, turned from a prepared mission to bring truth out to an expected love. The first time he said it on that night, when he claimed it in the temple at the moment she thought that she lost him forever… all those romantic moments he made her feel like a real princess pouring the whole world at her feet. His smile, his loving gaze, his embrace… his arms around her protectively… just like now… at this moment when unconsciousness start leaving its place to the consciousness slowly, the warmth of his breath brushing in her neck, the strength of his chest replacing the rudeness of the medical bed and his legs entwined with hers perfectly, snatching her from everything just to keep her there, inside the bubble he’s forming with his overwhelming love.

She sighs deeply from ease whispering almost to herself:

– You’re finally back…

– I’m never away, princess…

She feels a stab in her heart at the broken tone he tries to hide in his warm voice, nestling herself more in his hug, her eyes still closed, her head resting in the recess between his neck and shoulder, their hearts pounding against each other, she gulps the tears menacing to come out and says:

– Sorry…

He frowns looking down to her without a word, in the middle of all the tubes of serum, blood transfusions and patches electrodes needed for the survey of hers and her baby’s state, Sanskar could barely make a move trying to keep still avoiding her any pain.

She feels his interrogative gaze over her and opens her eyes smiling instantly at his sight. She brings a pinned with perfusion hand over his heart not even feeling the pain of the movement and adds:

– For this pain… here inside…

Reaching his eyes’ corner, she wipes a pearling tear there saying:

– For those tears so precious to my heart…

Resting her head back on his chest, she continues wrapping her arm around his waist in need to feel him more:

– For the guilt I’m unwillingly creating inside you, my Prince… for making you forget that it’s those same deeds which created us and without them, I would have never know this much blessed for having you in my life.

She hears his sharp breath as he tightens his hold over her without a word, she knows he’s not agreeing but afraid of expressing himself:

– Blessed was that moment you decided to punish your family for your pain, Sanskar Maheshwari… because it made our ways cross and blessed was the moment you turned your revenge over me because it’s the reason we’re here today…

Her words makes him feel worst than he has been for the last hour when he just sat over the hospital entry’s sidewalk crying all the tears of his soul helplessly and feeling guilty till wishing death. Wasn’t his feeling of being coward unable to face her when she needs him the most, he would have just…

– How many times should I tell you that I hate it when you cruse yourself!

His smile at her childish scold breaks his last defenses and hugging her tighter, he just cries for God knows how long as she just keeps caressing his hair waiting for him to pour out this choking pain killing him from inside.

In that moment, she wasn’t aware of the physical pain her body is suffering from, her numb members find the strength of reaching his face cupping his cheeks between her palms, her thumbs brushing his tears away as she says with a tender voice:

– How much do you love me Sanskar?

He opens his questioning eyes to see her angelic beautiful face shining with expectations, her lips drawing a stunning smile and her eyes widely opened up toward him waiting seriously for a response she already knows:

– Tell me… please!

– More than words can say, princess…

Her smile widens a relived sigh leaving her lungs making him smile back at her forgetting for a moment the terrible moment they’re going through:

– So will you give me whatever I want?

He chuckles at her demand blinking his last tears away and she rests her head on his chest back saying:

– I need your forgiveness, Sanskar…

Before he can stop her, she puts her hand over his lips continuing still not looking up to him:

– You never accepted my excuses, you know? Whenever I asked your forgiveness, you found the way to escape the reply and it’s just too heavy on my heart by now… if anything happens to Swara, it’s Sanskar who will suffer… have you ever thought about what happens to Swara when Sanskar is suffering?… I’m scared… scared of tomorrow… of the suffering you’ll going through… so please deliver me now from this weight and give me your pardon, so I’ll be sure that if tomorrow…

She couldn’t continue as he takes her chin between his fingers making her look up to him. Facing his dark gaze suddenly makes all the strength she searched inside her to say it evaporate in one second. And pushing her hand away from his lips, he caresses her hair putting its locks behind her ears to clear the vision of her beautiful face with his other hand then he says looking straight in her eyes:

– Tomorrow is the day of our baby’s birth, princess…

She’s startled feeling him bring her hand over her belly, instead of just keeping it there, he presses its round shape caressing it protectively with his palm, his determined tone makes shivers going through her spine and he adds:

– You’re making me father and giving you the sacred title of mother, princess!… who am I to give you forgiveness when I’m sinful till the core?

– But… Sanskar…

Sealing her lips with his, he kisses her pleadings away unable to hear her talk about further future blackened with the unknown… deep inside his heart, that she’s asking him to forgive her if she’ll not survive to the surgery but he doesn’t want to bear those words neither make her know his response, because he’ll never be able to forgive her for that… and this is making him drown in guilt even more!

When sleep is about drowning them in each other embrace, a passing by the window nightingale’s melodious chant spreads a balm of calmness on their tortured hearts…

Precap: Swara’s Surgery…

12 Comments
  1. Raina

    are you really ending it???
    i just can’t believe this..
    it was such a blissful journey with this story..
    it started with those intense painful chapters and with those mysteries not knowing what punishment sanskar has stored for her..
    then her guilt.. the mystery of why he was punishing her.. then the flashback romances.. then some thrilling things with swara’s baba coming..
    finally this deadly disease.. the chapters were painful but still we could always find something really touchy there at some point or the innocent mahira didi will prove her innocence sometimes.. hehe..
    loved this story to infinite..
    it will just be always in my heart..
    and will miss this a lllloooottttt…
    waiting for the next two chapters..
    i am sobbing for this chapter..
    the chapter was so beautiful and the last scene took my breath away.. amazing!
    love you!!

    1. MAHIRA

      oh my sweet chote thank you so much for those beautiful words 🙂
      This stoy made Swaragini and especially Swasan story live with me till now, like it never ended, but everything has to come to an end
      Thank you so much for your support and sorry for those so many tears… but this is Swasan’s effect painfull and passionate love where nothing is easy but they win whatever comes

  2. Amazing..tc..

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you dear 🙂

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much 🙂

  3. awesome diii

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much 🙂

  4. super.. really gonna miss

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you dear, will miss it too 🙂

  5. Pramudi

    You are ending this? 😟😢
    It was beautiful journey mahira. I’m going to miss this a lot with my swasan.
    One of the best emotional ff i have read so far.
    Waiting for your other works dear.

    1. MAHIRA

      oh your words are giving me tears, so hapy that you love this story so close to my heart 🙂

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