SWASAN: If this is your love, my Prince… Then please trust me [32]

– What do you mean we can’t go in, chore?
– Laksh’ beta… let us see her before…
Laksh raises his hands bowing his head and says apologetically:
– Sorry Chachi, sorry Ma… but it’s Sanskar’s instructions…
Sujatta exclaims again dramatically:
– This chore will drive me mad one day… Jiji…
– Sujatta… bas…
Annapurna side hugs her sister in law’s shoulders calming her, as her usual Sujatta is very sensible about Swara’s state…
– Kya hua? What are these shouting?
Sanskar appears at the door’s way asking again on a stern tone:
– There are guests to be received at home, na? why are you here?
Sujatta’s eyes widen in horror at his words, was he really asking them to leave from here, her opened mouth in shock fail to express her thought about her son’s behavior. Annapurna finishes by approaching him pressing his hand in comfort before saying:
– Beta, Swara’s state is more important than…
He gets away from her reach subtly and replies on a softened tone:
– Bade Ma… Swara’s state isn’t something new, she fainted that’s all… it’s not the first time neither the last… it has been a hectic day and it was really predicable…
Pausing, he sighs closing his eyes briefly in need of oxygen then looks to the old women smiling:
– The medical assistant is here, the doctor is coming and you know that this room is kept the most sterilized possible to avoid germs and viruses Swara’s organism isn’t able to fight with, hai na? we try to restrain the number of entries here as much as possible too and…
Taking her hand he adds:
– Think about Ma and Dida who are surely as worried as you both… what would Swara think if she sees you all so tensed on this particular day?
– But Sanskar…
Sujatta whose eyes where already moist tries to convince him but Annapurna interrupts her taking his defense:
– He’s right Sujatta… challo we should join our guests for meals, Swara wanted this day to be perfect we can’t disappoint her…
Ragini arrives with the doctor at the moment the two women are leaving, she lets her join Sanskar inside and plunges in Laksh’s embrace letting finally her tears flow freely over her cheeks… during those last weeks, everyday is a combat to win over the fatality…
*=*=*=*=*=*=*
Sitting in darkness, where the only lights are coming from the monitoring medical equipments screens around, Sanskar’s eyes seem not even blinking, his gaze focused on Swara’s figure mirroring her state behind the transparent medical curtain keeping her in a protective cocoon.
Without the professional make up she wore on today’s celebration, her face’s skin won back its usual so fair pallor color, her fanning long heavy eyelashes fail to cover the dark circles shaping her beautiful closed eyes and the tube against her nostrils finish to portray the rude reality he’ll never be able to change whatever he does…
Doctor said that maybe her sudden fever is from some infection they’ll have to check about, samples of her blood has been taken to laboratory and preventing medicines administrated. now all that they could do is waiting… for an improvement allowing them to program the delivery with the less risks possible… it’s not the first time she’s kept in that kind of confined space and as always, he’s aching to touch her, to hold her hand reassuringly, the separating thin curtain seems to him like a deep crater keeping her away from him at it’s other edge!
To avoid the killing silence nagging him, he turns on his phone spreading a sweet melody, one of his princess’ favorite songs…
His memories flow back to that night again…
Pal do pal ki hi kyun hai zindagi
Why is the life just a moment or two,

Is pyaar ko hai sadiyaan kaafi nahi
for this love, centuries aren’t enough..

– to khuda se maang loon
– So let me ask God

Mohalat main ik nayi
– for some more time, anew,

Rehna hai bas yahaan
– I have to live just here,

Ab door tujhse jaana nahi
– I have not to go away from you..

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you are there to share my pain,

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you share my pain,

Suhaana har dard hai
Every pain is beautiful,

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you share my pain,

*** Flashback ***
Swara’s eyelashes raises up in the middle of night greeting her sight with her prince’s face image. Looking nowhere straight in front of him, he seems plunged in a deep meditation and she feels blessed one more just to be there in his arms… there satiated and exhausted naked and entwined bodies laying of the that farmhouse’ pergola’s floor… her sari serving them for blanket and his steady chest giving her her preferred pillow.
As he’s usual he immediately notices her awaked state and smiles tenderly looking down to her. Predictably, her adorable cheeks turns red crimson at the memory of the multitude of things he made to her and made her do in their languorous endless lovemaking, his smile becomes wider reading her thoughts through her lowered eyes and caressing her cheek subtly with his thumb, his arm protectively wrapped around her shoulders, he says suggestively:
– Already recovered from all these… “activities”?
Could she blush harder? Yes of course… what was the use of her husband if not to tease her every time he takes her in that so yet-to-discover world of pleasure and forbidden feelings!
Passing his thumb under her chin, he makes her look up to see him nods in “no” telling her for the millionth time, that she’s not allowed to hide her feelings from him.
Her throat goes dry crossing that heated look again and she prefers changing the subject. Wetting her lips she asks blinking like chasing away images of those “activities”…
– Prince… you still didn’t tell me what do you want as a birthday gift…
His brows shoot up surprised having forgotten even about the context of their small escapade…
– So?
She asks again her eyes glowering with anticipation making him smile fondly his eyes boundless with unspoken love. He shakes his head slightly and says:
– You’re all I wish, princess… no need of gifts as long as you’re with me…
She feels melting in those brown eyes overwhelmed by their feelings, tears start shining in her huge eyes as she says trying to monitoring her wavering with emotions voice:
– It’s not fair, Mr. Maheshwari… you keep gifting all sorts of mad expensive yet needless presents and I don’t complain… ask me for something… anything…
Seeing him thoughtful, she adjust herself over his chest looking straight in his eyes her chin resting over her folded arm, cupping his cheek in her other hand, she asks again:
– Tell me…
– Will you really give me whatever I ask for?
– Of course!
Her cute spontaneous tone makes him title his head a bit aside asking once more:
– Whatever?
She smiles nestling her head in his neck and tightening her hug around him before replying determined:
– Whatever!
She feels him folding her tighter in his embrace and kissing her hair, his heart beats pounding against her chest and blinking her tears back stopping them from telling the truth of her guilty feeling about his helplessness… she closes her eyes waiting for his request and preparing herself for agreeing even if he asks what she’s scared about the most… abortion! She’ll never be able to support seeing him like the night before again…
– I talked to doctors, princess… options are very reduced regarding the wish of carry on with this pregnancy…
Making a pause, he waits for her predicting that she’ll surely burst on him about that again, but she does nothing. He feels her take a deep breath and waiting for him to continue…
– But if chemotherapy is impossible in this case, there is an alternative cure, or better to say that it’s not for cure therapy but to block the development of the illness…
She looks up to him intrigued, by the time she started her chemotherapy there was no use to inform her about this kind of therapy by her Doctor, and her reaction to the proposition of stopping the pregnancy by her doctor gave her no occasion to give her this kind of therapy. Yet a question was haunting her… was it safe for her baby? She doesn’t care if it’s as much paining as the chemotherapy but what if all this useless and as result, it will just harm this child and his father… she knows how Sanskar is sensitive toward her pain.
But she keeps quite again and deep inside, a small light of hope blossoms thinking about it, a hope she was resigned to put aside in her situation…
His calm voice continues his explanations:
– Honestly, zero risk for the baby doesn’t exist but still it’s not the chemotherapy effects and it would increase your chances to…
His voice trails off, chances of what? Of life? of survive?… no one in that hospital was brave enough to give him a real hope after that, Swara’s metabolism is already altered with the past months cures and events… he sighs feeling the hovering shadow of sadness thightening its grip overhis heart again and she knows that he’s avoiding her eyes to hide the tears forming in his eyes…
– Okey…
This small agreement sweep over his agonizing soul like a balsam he didn’t expect. Before even think about the reasons behind her so docile behavior, she raises up toward his face kissing his eyes to brush his tears away, one after the other, his cheeks, his jaw then his so perfect lips which had given her so much tonight and soon they both somber again in the swirling vortex of passion and love…
*** END OF Flashback ***

A sad smile stretches his lips thinking about Swara’s surprised reaction after the huge –useless- party Maheshwaris has done for his birthday’s celebration the day after.
He couldn’t refuse at his mother’s argument that just some weeks ago he was dead for everyone… Swara has then laugh madly at his mimics face to his mother’s drama!
*** FLASHBACK ***
At the end of the party he directed her to the door of what used to be a storeroom near to their own bed room… “THE” storeroom! That unique thought made her blush like hell.
But when he opened the doors a mysterious smile covering his lips, she’s surprised to be in her bedroom… same walls, same furniture, same decoration… even same framed photos here and there… one different thing is the tables surrounding the bed.
To her unspoken question, he replies hugging her shoulders and stepping inside:
– I know how much you hate hospital… a medical staff is already engaged and you’ll be receiving all your treatment here itself…
Face to her silence, he asks frowning:
– Say something princess…
She looks to him keenly; this man is surely from another world, when will he stop surprising her by this endless and unconditional care he gives her
– When did you prepare all this? How? And why? If you want me to be just here, I could have got it in my room…
He shakes his head nodding in “no” and says hugging her by her back tightly:
– When… two days ago when we were at the Academy… how it serves a lot to have a little brother feeling so guilty that he craves for any instruction you give him to feel better…
She giggles slapping his forearm playfully for teasing that poor Laksh continuously since he’s back, he adds after faking to be hurt :
– Why? Because what you hate in hospital are odors, I don’t want you to feel ill even when you’re well… this room will be exclusively dedicated to the cure cessions and doctor’s consultations…
Bending to her neck he whispers in her ear suggestively:
– Of course, if you want more “activities” here… your prince is…
– SANSKAR!!!
She escapes his embrace avoiding the hungry kiss he was about printing in her neck and turns to him holding her hips provocatively:
– Mr. Maheshwari… when will you ever be satiated?
– From you Mrs. Maheshwari… NEVER!
*** END OF FLASHBACK ***
***
Teri muskurahatein hain taakat meri
Your smiles are my strength,

Mujh ko inhi se ummeed mili
I got hope from them only.

Chaahe kare koi sitam ye jahaan
Whatever atrocity the world does to me,

In mein hi hai sadaa hifaazat meri
in them [these smiles] is my safety..

Zindagaani badi khoobsoorat hui
My life became very beautiful,

Jannat ab aur kya hogi kahin
now where else would heaven be..
***
Seeing the medical assistant coming to administrate some other drugs in her perfusion, his mind flows back to that first séance of her new treatment… holding her hand while they were preparing her for the perfusion on her inner forearm, he sees her smile noticing him tightening his fist on his knee at the moment they pin her tender skin with the injection, her soft tone makes him gulp hardly as she said:
– Don’t worry like that, Sanskar… it’s ok, I’m used to it
– But I’m not, princess…
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you are there to share my pain,

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you share my pain,

Suhaana har dard hai
Every pain is beautiful,

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you share my pain,

It was the beginning of the long journey of struggle against the reality… Swara is strong enough to be able to hide her pain like she has always done and he closes his eyes remembering the first time he hurried to the washroom sustaining her shoulders and gathering her hair back as the cure effect combined with the first month’s pregnancy symptoms, she was throwing out so hardly in the middle of night…
She tried to push him away… once, twice… many more times but he kept just holding her again and again until she gave up breaking down in his arms and exhausted physically and emotionally. His calm soothing breath giving her the silence she was so in need to have finished by calm her down and soon she was lovingly wrapped in his warm embrace surrendering to sleep.
Teri dhadkanon se hai zindagi meri
My life is from your heartbeats,

Khwaahishein teri ab duaayein meri
your wishes are my prayers now..

Kitna anokhaa bandhan hai ye
what a unique bond it is,

Teri meri jaan jo ek hui
that your and my life have become one..

Lautoonga yahaan tere paas main haan
I’ll come back to you only..
Vaada hai mera mar bhi jaaun kahin
It’s my promise, even if I die..

But those months weren’t always this much painful, there was lot of dates and romantic escapades, he took her to Banaras for some days like they have promised each other so long time ago and together they roamed over the beautiful sites of that so mystic place… the occasion was too to visit the pilgrimage’s temple the town is so known for.
He also took her to Mumbai where she met with some of her favorite singers… to Delhi for the so cliché romantic place for tourists… the Taj Mahal…
To his teasing about her round shaped tummy forming slowly day after day, calling her again and again tasty princess laddoo she frequently faked to feel ill just to make him hurry toward her when she became unable to run after him… of course, those cute moments mostly ended up with his scolding which she melts away holding her ears childishly and promising to never do it again… vainly!
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you are there to share my pain,

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you share my pain,

Suhaana har dard hai
Every pain is beautiful,

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you share my pain,

But too soon, her body started to show the weakness she kept hiding for so long and during the last months, she barely quitted that “second” bedroom in need to be laying down and taking rest.
He then made all his possible to keep it as cheerful as he could, the Academy’s work could be handled from home and the family celebrations she couldn’t attempt physically, he made her present staying back with her and sharing the precious moment via video conferences…
Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you are there to share my pain,

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you share my pain,

Suhaana har dard hai
Every pain is beautiful,

Jo tu mera humdard hai
Now that you share my pain,

The medical assistant whispers a “good night” before leaving them alone, if she learnt something during those months, is that Swara and Sanskar live like a unique entity and no as a couple… they need no one with them. Of course all the family’s members are helping, but they’re all what they need each other…
Between Sanskar’s strength, calmness and cute smile face to the good like the worst moments and Swara’s unbreakable faith that like it has always been, as long as he’s here with her, nothing can happen to her. Miracles blossom!
No one in the whole medical staff that she’ll be here with them until today, the six given months are reaching their end and seeing her so full of life and energy today could make everyone forget about her state… though her sudden rapid decrease she suffered from at the end of the party was total mystery.
The same questions was haunting Sanskar’s tired mind… what happened suddenly? What was she worried about? And who was there behind the pillar?… questions which will remain unanswered until she’ll open her eyes again.
For the moment, as his usual whenever she was put on that kind of confined space, he approaches the second medical bed to hers and laying down he turns toward just at the plastic transparent curtain’s edge and after drawing another cross in his note book, he stays there admiring his sleeping beauty until the tiredness overwhelm his senses and drags him in his the darkness joining her finally his lips blowing inaudibly:
– I miss you, princess…
TO BE CONTINUED…
Precap: Swasan’s fight!

********************
So sorry guys for being so late with this story but here is a looooooooong chapter, one of the lastests… so enjoy and tell me how you found it and what do you think Swasan’s fight will be about…

10 comments

  1. Raina

    Raina

    |Registered Member

    he will never be satiated!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    the shameless sanskar maheshwari..
    huh!! first of all i should talk about this innocent mahira didi who have made me cry and also blush in this chappy..
    loved it soooooooo much….

Before submitting a comment, please be sure it meets our comment guidelines.

Before submitting a comment, please be sure it meets our comment guidelines.