SWASAN: If this is your love, my Prince… Then, please hate me! [Episode 13]

51

The sweet fragrance of rose’s petals and exotic fruits melting in a so familiar natural perfume, the smooth velvet touch of a wrapping caress, a silky curled hairs tickling their way all over his chest… neck… face… warmness makes its way all over his aching members veins toward his heart making its beats run madly like a horse race as a deep breath fills his lungs with a so missed kind of oxygen… the oxygen breathed by her too…
It was the dream he dreamt of having for so long time, a dream which was refused by his guilty soul who kept giving him only nightmares…

so he fights with awakness, praying to never open his eyes again… tightening his embrace on it… keeping it from evaporating in the first lights of consciousness… smiling, he breaths more deeply when a moaning sound startles him! He opens his eyes widely…
for a second, he feels like the void has filled his mind because he couldn’t register the sight his eyes was giving him, neither analyze the tumultuous volcano irrupting in his chest…
Swara… there was she, just here in his arms… her covered with hair face turned up to him while her arms were tightly wrapping him like hanging on safe life vest… just like he was unconsciously bone brokenly holding her! He releases the force of his embrace as she struggles nestling herself more against him.
Instinctively, his trembling fingers take off the strands of hair veiling the view of her so lovely face and her wide smile plants a stake deep in his heart bringing tears to his eyes…
“- how I miss you, Swara!”
She moans lazily again making him smile tears rolling over his cheeks, this was the first time he wakes before her at the sunrise… may be has he ever done some kind of goodness in his life, so fate is giving him this blissful moment! His breath becomes shallows as he tries his best to not disturb her sleeping.

When did she come? When did she discover the truth? Why isn’t she blaming him? Why is she here? How? What?… he really doesn’t give a damn to those scrabbled questions that his brain tries to blow him… all he wants is to stay here forever!

First rays of sun escape from the shown by the wall of glass far horizon, dropping twinkling over them … Swara nose moves imperceptibly, her brows frown a bit and before they reach her closed eyes lashes, he rises his hand just in front of them… chasing the day for some more moments… for her… for him… for this instant he wanted to never end.
Tears continue their way over his face recalling all the mornings she tried to wake him, with tchai, with kiss, with tickling… with her sweet lovely voice murmuring a gentle word in his ear… all the nights he chased the sleep from her eyes making her complain about his shamelessness… his smile widens thinking about the last time they… but a painful expression drowns his face as he thinks about where life brought them now.

At that moment he feels her breath changes, she sighs deeply gripping on his chest skin, her eyelids blink once… twice… her lashes move up rising when he lets his hand drop on the floor shutting his eyes closed.
“- sorry princess… not yet…”
She looks up to him smiling, the warmness of his embrace and the sun rays enveloping her in a protective cocoon… what if she stays here forever? What could he be doing more important than just the two of them…like that… oops! The three of them!
She scolds herself for being so weak and not just profiting of the goodness of fate giving him her back and blowing this small life in her… why should she have any doubt, his prove of love is deeply incrusted in her! She’s sure he’ll be back soon to both of them.
But suddenly she frowns sitting up still wrapped by his lifeless arms, a sudden fear tightens its grip on her heart… what if something happen to him? How could she be sure he’s not being as careless as he always have been?

Behind his closed eyes, Sanskar was fighting hell to just keep still hoping his pounding heart beats will not reach her ears… to not make her notice how startled he felt when she takes his hand in hers putting it on her lap.
She undoes the knotted thread around her wrist, the thread given to her in the last night function protecting her and her child from any harm, cuts it in two small ones then wraps one of them around his wrist knotting it tightly.
Kissing that vital vein passing there, she remembers when she did that on the last Dewali, and smiles at the memory of his childish expression then.

She knots back the remaining part on her wrist and looks around, what has bitten her last night to stay here? what if anyone notices her absence at home? What if Sanskar knew about her presence?
She looks again to him smiling tenderly tears pearling in her huge eyes, her cute lovely prince… how much is she missing him?
She shakes her head to chase her silly thoughts and frowns telling him:
“- I’m still mad at you Sanskar Maheshwari… we’re both mad at you! Hai na little one?”
Looking down to her belly, she feels shy not really understanding why, then looking back to him, she takes his hand which was still in her lap and bends over his face so closely that he shivers trying to calm his pulse.
She whispers against his lips:
“- don’t make him wait a lot, my prince… I have a fairytale to tell him, and I need you for that”
Planting a sweet soft kiss over his lips, she puts his palm over her belly too heavy tears rolling over her cheeks watering his, she wipes them smiling again.
The time she takes for gathering the aid box, her purse, putting her sandals on, was surely the longest moment Sanskar had to live ever!

At the moment he hears the door closes behind her, he jumps from his lying position sitting straight, his both palms pressing his eyes refusing the way out for his tears, his elbows resting on his replied knees he feels so lonely… so homeless… like a little boy forgotten by the whole world out, holding his head tightly, he replies on himself more and cries… cries… for God knows how long… until the sun lights chase the last darkness in the wide room.
Wiping his eyes and nose with his sleeves, he notices the thread on his wrist and a cute shining smile breaks his sad face, kissing it he feels suddenly like he was able to face anything in that world just to return in his princess’ embrace again… to his family…

***
Outside, Swara was sitting on a bench in the garden, letting the nature morning smells and sounds envelope her, she thanks God that she could find proper clothes in the stores kept for occasional functions… checking the time, she calls her sister:
“- Swara!? Where are you? I just brought you break…”
“- Good-mor-ning-Rag-ni… don’t worry like that, I… I’m at the Academy, I had… some important report to verify before signing and you know yesterday I didn’t come in the afternoon… so…”
She bits her lower lip praying that her sister doesn’t notice that she’s lying.
“- But Swara!!! How can you go so early, you’re impossible! And moreover, you didn’t take your breakfast…”
“- sorry Ragini… don’t scold me so much, I’m really sorry but don’t worry, I’ll have my breakfast… I promise!”
“- and you’ll come back for lunch! Promise?”
“- promise!”
“- and you’ll take rest every one hour, don’t spend your time roaming over those long corridors…”
“- promise!”
“- and…”
“- Ragini… I’m ok, promise!”
“- don’t forget… the doctor’s appointment in the afternoon”
“- ha Ragini ma… Don’t worry…”
« – take care of yourself!”
“- ha… take care you too”

She hangs off feeling bad for lying to her sister but how to explain where she has been that night… this will be a secret dream just between her and her small one, hidden from everyone… even his dad.
Just at that moment she sees him, dragging his feet lazily on the grass, his old chacha look back. She yells at his:
“- Adaab, Aman ji?”
He stops startled, his heart skipping some beats as he closes his hidden behind black glasses eyes and taking a deep breath he plants a wide smile on his lips turning toward her and says:
“- Adaab, little madam ji… how are you today?”
“- fine thank you… and you?”
He rolls his eyes secretly, at her malicious smile, he could feel she’s in a playful mood and right now, all he wants is to finish what he was going to do and take pain killers to stop his headache.
“- I’m fine too, little madam ji… can I help you?”
“- actually… YES!”
He frowns approaching her and asks:
“- how?”

She was the cutest view he has ever had in a long large blue dress with a small black best defining her waist and its short sleeves discovering her shining bangels… HIS shining bangels…
“- Hello? … did you hear me?”
“- ha?”
She has a small breathtaking laugh making her eyes shine more in the sun, he has to close his eyes frowning again to break the charm she was having on him!
“- i… I mean… can you repeat, please? You know at this age…”
She stops laughing, her gaze securitizing his face for a long moment, then she has to bow her head looking down to break the charm of his sight…
“- I was telling you that we had a deal… a room against work!”
His eyes focus on some point behind her while he replies absent mindedly:
“- ha ha little madam ji… and I will! But I said that I’ll not teach students… and… for the rest, I’ll start just after breakfast… ha… I can take my breakfast first, hai na?”
Walking by her side, he starts going from there when she says:
“- but I’m hungry too…”
***
It took him a whole half a hour to come back, a box on his arms he almost fall walking on a stone making her jump from her place to sustain him:
“- arree… sorry little madam ji”
He puts the box on the grass making her frown more, she asks him bending over it to check it contains:
“- it’s ok… what are you handling in this heavy box… I wanted just a…”
Taking her by her shoulders, he straights her up before she opens it, and says:
“- just a minute? Ok?”

Taking a sheet from it, he lays it on the ground and starts setting the improvised picnic for her… three bottles of different juices, a bottle of milk, water… a cup of grapes, a cup of strawberries, bananas, a French bread, butter, chocolate spread… a plate of cut tomatoes and cucumbers…
Her eyes widen with surprise, she exclaims as he was putting napkins:
“- bas… bas… bas! What is all this?…”
He stands up giving her his hand to help her sit down and says absent mindedly:
“- you’re eating for two…”
He wasn’t looking to her, she could guess at his expression that he wanted to just escape. As she installs herself on the sheet, she grips his hand tightly stopping him and says:

“- you’re hungry too, hai na?… join me… please?”
He hesitates for a moment, but she presses on his hand more repeating:
“- please…”
He turns away wiping his tears then smiles facing her, how could he refuse her anything?
Sitting face to her, he keeps looking to her while she opens the bread, puts slices of tomato, cucumber and cheese, pour some dried fruits on them and closes it… she cuts the baguette on two parts and gives him one of them.
Instinctively, he bits on it with appetite sighing loudly which makes her smile fondly to his unaware state. He seems really hungry and seeing him like that, makes butterflies fly in her stomach happily, her eyes are filled with tears when she starts eating too… he serves her a huge cup of milk giving it to her but she looks at disgustingly and shouts waving her hand:
“- nahi nahi nahi! Not milk!”
He frowns pouting and orders:
« – stop acting childishly!… drink it!”
She closes her nose with her fingers complaining:
“- take it away, please… I can’t bear its smell!”
Feeling uneasy, she puts her hand on her mouth startling him, he takes puts the glass away and wonders:
“- kya hua? Are you ok?”

She takes a deep breath closing her eyes, fresh air fills her lungs taking away her need of throwing out what she ate till now. Opening her eyes, her heart melts at his worried expression the disguise on his face couldn’t hide. She says reassuringly:
“- I’m fine, don’t worry… it’s just that… some odors like milk, oil… alcohol… make me feel uneasy nowadays, it seems like it’s normal in my state!”
He notices the scolding tone on her ending sentence and thinks seeing her take a sip of water:
“- sorry princess… never again!”
“- lemon!”

His surprised by her voice, he asks making her smile again :
“- ha?”
“- lemon juice… I want lemon juice…”
“- ha… zaroor…”
He pours it in a glass and gives it to her looking away behind her, someone was watching them but right now, all he wants is to enjoy this peaceful normal moment in his so upside down life!
***
Walking back to her office, Swara’s smile illuminates her face while she recalls the last night and morning events, how things can really change so easily… two days ago, she was surviving in a colorless and soulless world, today even trees seem greener, the air fresher, the flowers’ colors brighter… looking to her pendant, she recalls her Sanskar’s embrace… his protective helping hand guiding her to their picnic, his full of food mouth, the morning awake and her kiss on his lips making her blush. She kisses the entwined “SS” heart then shakes her head thinking about how silly she could be sometimes!
“- Good morning, Swara”
A man’s voice startles her in her back, she turns back her eyes fuming with anger:
“- Hi Nikhil!… or should I say, inspector Nikhil!”
In the canteen’s kitchen, Sanskar puts the box on a table and takes his phone to dial a number:
“- ha bade papa!”
“- how are you, beta?”
“- fine… bade papa, Swara knows…”
“- ha Sanskar, guards prevented me about her going out last night… I let her do…”
“- hum…”
“- Sanskar, does she…”
“- no bade papa! she thinks that I don’t know about it yet… bade papa! it’s time for ending all that… we’ll not be able to hide it from her more!”
“- I know beta! But…”
“- nahi bade papa! now, the more we wait… the most dangerous it becomes for her!”
“- tonight, then…”
“- tonight!”

TO BE CONTINUED…

PRECAP:
Sanskar faces Adarsh in Maheshwari Mansion…
Swara meets the man with the scar at Badi!

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51 Comments
  1. Mica

    Mahira dII !!! same precap ha ??? huh! you are just look alike color channel now ! *pout

    geeeezzzhhh when Swara left Sanskar, and he shed his tears felt lonely, i imagining sanskar ‘s face when he shed his tears to see Swara left him .. huuaaaaa.. you bad!!!
    made me crying again..huh!

    1. MAHIRA

      hahaha!!! Mica my sweety, joining my hands and beg you to not scold me… *showing tongue*
      Like Colors… ha i just thought my self, but kya karo??? i’ve planned to come to those scene when i posted them but suddenly missing Swasan cuteness …. insperation hitted me and gave me those added chapters but then couldn’t take back the precap… they’ll come … as promised by Sanskar and bade papa :p
      crying again? sorry…. but you said it… feeling Swara letting him alone and go …. how can Sanskar bear it????

    2. Arshaanya

      ?????? mica i lobe ur cmnts jus look alike colors channel ????

      1. Mica

        kya karo !! color always lie about precap..huh! i love u *pout

    3. MAHIRA

      is me you’re treating lier????? hay rabba!!!! *drama queen version* :p:p

  2. Simin

    Omg omg omg
    Both had a peaceful sleep after a very long time
    Feels soooo gd
    Sanskar knows her sooo well
    N this picnic reminds me of their picnic awwww dii its sooo gd
    Sanskar go ahead dear she deserves to know it

    1. MAHIRA

      Simin my dear thank you so much 😀
      you know, i missed them together as much as they’re missing each other… soooo there here are our beloved Swasn ^^
      the picnic was to remind that one… i loved in Sanskar’s love that even having all the traditional functions for their marriage, he still made her live her fairy tale like the helicopter, the proposal on the beach, the picnic…. both traditional and modern love… sooooooo cute!

    2. MAHIRA

      this why it’s for me important that this pregancy, this union has to be a Swasan moment… like always even with the whole wolrd around they are alone together

  3. Aarushi_99

    This was an amazingly Swasanlicious chapter?

    Ah, finally Sanskar knows that Swara knows about him being alive..!
    Everything in this chapter was on fleek!? From the morning scene to the picnic scene! Somehow I got that picnic from the serial vibes.. felt like I was watching that episode again, just a bit different because of the disguise of Sanskar.. I felt so sad in the beginning, poor Sanskar?.. but the ending was a happy one for me❤️.. Hope Swasan unite tonight.. no no sorry, I mean in the next chapter..?

    Update soon, take care!

    1. MAHIRA

      Aaruhi my dear, thank you so much 😀
      yes… that picnic is meant to be like that one, but this time they are 3… just like Swara was losing hope before and he came to her as the old chacha, he’s losing hope now, not bearing the situation anymore… and to continue, he needs her… and as they have always been, she’s here for him……. they don’t need to show it over, she doesn’t need to know , and he doesn’t need to tell her anything… they just need each other…
      “tonight”… hum…. wait and see… there is a lot to solve but …. just wait and see 😀

  4. nice..tc..

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you dear ^^

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you Sus 🙂

  5. beautiful nd devine

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much sanji 😀

  6. Kaynatk01

    it was awesome waiting for next

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much 😀

  7. Hiii mahira…!!! I am a new fan to your story now…!!! 😀
    Every time…I open this ff…but…I never read because of lack of time…!! Morever…I rarely follow ff’s in which the story starts from some point in a serial…!! I alwaYS love to imagine characters in a new story…!!
    But…Yesterday night…I opened your ff…and read right from the start of summary..of your ‘Now that I fulfill all the promises I made to you,princess… I will punish you’ and all the episodes…!!!
    I have no words you know???!!! It’s marvellous…!!! I am regretting a bit…why I didn’t read it earlier…!! With every episode…I fell in love in love with swasan more and more…!! 😀 😀
    Your writing skills…your connection of some small memory scenes…that happened in serial…everything is soo amazing…!!
    I still wanted to read…more and more…!!! But this episode is the last one for now…!! 🙁 I am madly waiting for your next episode…!!
    Bye..take care!! 😀

    1. MAHIRA

      AWW chandu 😀
      thank you sooo much ^^ read it all in one!! it’s almost 200 pages between season1 and 2!
      i was angry at the ending track and had this story in my head at the last episode…
      thank you so much again, hope read your view again 🙂

  8. Lovely reethi

    Awesome. Really fantastic. Finally Swara came to know about sanskar. N sanskar came to know that Swara knows him being alive.lived that small picnic scene aloooooot. Will be waiting for that moment when sanskar comes to know about swara pregnancy. Swasan child…..his child…. their symbol of love… ??????????????????will be waiting for next part.post asap

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you soooo much, happy to meet with new readers everytime
      hope you’ll keep liking what comes next 😀

  9. Soujanya

    Awesome….

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much 😀

  10. Tamil

    Awesome… dear

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you Tamil dear 😀

  11. Abdul hafiz(Uma)

    Diiiiii… What should I say*stamping my foot…You always make me speechless ,aaaaahannn???….Okay,I will a one thing that…
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    .I LOVE YOU AND YOUR STORY???
    TAKE CARE
    KEEP SMILING??

    1. MAHIRA

      uma^^ thank you sooo much dear 😀

  12. Prashasti7

    Mahira Diiii again same precap what is this u know na my chotu sa mind can’t take this much suspense for so long still u r doing this with me *pout* how could u be this much heartless *showing 32 teeth* ???but Dii look m very good because I still love u soo much u r very lucky to get me as Ur sister everyone is not soo fortunate

    1. MAHIRA

      Prashasti!!!!bear di’s hug :*
      yeah yeah… i’m becoming like colors tv :p:p
      i love you too :p

  13. Raina

    swasan scene was choooooooooooooooooooo sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ‘a secret between her and her little one!’ this line was soooooooooooooo touchy. loved the epi as always!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no use of your duppatta today!!!!! because i am not crying!!!! this epi made me smile, swasan picnic scene and the starting scene was marvellous!!!!!!!!

    1. MAHIRA

      haa!!! finally not cryful episode:p
      thank you soooooooooooooo much *bear hug*

  14. Arshaanya

    Sorry to sayi mahira m dissapointed wid u…
    In last chappy i undrstd ur point dat she was making hrslf blve dat hez still alive n was wid her…
    She loves him n we hve seen dat frm her sufferings n pain bt today wid swaraz dialogue dat dun make him w8 more we r w8ng for u… she hve gone tru so pain n frgve him so easily… i knw she loves him n wants him bt d pain n sufrngs sjez gone tru is much more… she was jus lifeless body…
    I dun knw how u gonna gve him punshmnt wen he knws shez nt angry n was sayin we r w8ng for u….
    M so angry on dida shekhar n dp also…
    M not nyng it nw dat much… sorry i hve no intention to hurt u bt m not njyng it

    1. MAHIRA

      dear Arshaanya , thank you so much 🙂
      i’m not feeling hurt at all… it’s kinda a good thing to have opposite views, just like in a serial… the story can’t satisfy everyone’s wants
      i got your point and understand your disappointement… and as i’m the only one who knows what comes next, i don’t blame you at all to feel it bad that Swara is forgiving him so easilly…
      but there is a point here in that… SWARA DOESN’T KNOW THAT HE KNOWS!
      she’s thinking he’s just sleeping, not aware even that she knows he’s alive, so she can show off easilly the deepness of her love toward him, as he’s not facing her…
      Even going throw unbearable sorrow with his death acting, she’s still trusting his love to her, that for some hidden reason, he had to do it… she’s not forgiving… just trusting…
      things will not be so simple that it seems believe me… Adarsh is not the only mystery on the story and… can’t say more, sorry!
      Anyway i’m sorry to disappoint you… hope the following chapters will make you feel better… hope you’ll not stop reading the story now when it’s at the ending way…
      thank you again dear 😀

      1. Arshaanya

        Nope m not goin to stop reading it… wen u explain me ur POV na i undrstnd day also bt
        It was jus dat i was not njyng it much seeing swaraz bhvr…n i knw shez not aware dat sanskar got to knw abt her knwng hez alive n all… bt still was dsaptnd widher bhvr… i knw dey love is othr so much dat nobdy can ever doubt dat bt think how much pain he gve her even knwg she can kill herslf or in so much pain n now shez prgnt n he toh dun even knw abt her miscrge also,, her mothers doings also… even sanskar sufrd as he was away frm her bt d pain he got was notjing cmprd to swara….
        Ya i agree only u knw wats gonna come nxt ??
        So lets see howz u goin to justify all dis

  15. Shiksha

    Wonderful! Both had their shares of pain.. Neithers pain is more or less than each other.. Both suffered more in their own way…
    Life is about living too…. Also about loving….

    1. MAHIRA

      Shiksha dear … thank you sooo much 😀

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much 😀

  16. Superb…!!!!awsm….!!!!❤❤ loved the epi.
    Sometimes i wonder how keenly u have watched swaragini…the minute details in ur story shows dat….? as far as i remember there were 3 diff juices for swara on their picnic in the serial nd here also u included 3 juices in chacha sanskar’s undeclared picnic…?? god hats off to u!!!!!?? u are truly leader of all of swasan fans!!!??
    By d way mahira di,i wont be able to comment till march end since my xms are approaching…..so will catch u up after dat…..dont forget me ok….!!!! Loads of love. Bye tc.???

    1. MAHIRA

      DA my dear , thank you sooooo much 🙂
      and yes, i’m a bit maniak with details lol…. i even shocked some people yesterday saying that the blue printed squares on the heroine’s dress are the same ase the colors of doors frames in the decor! lol
      and yes, enjoy the sweet lovely springly Swasan moments… storm isn’t so far…
      all the best for your exams…. 😀

  17. The episode was superb. Swasan scene was epic. Both are in pain.Hope they get their share of happiness in future.
    Waiting for the next part.
    And I’m sorry mahira for the delay.. ?

    1. MAHIRA

      Thank you so much Pramudi my dear 😀
      i’ll try to post soon but following chapters are a bit complicated so will take time to finalyze 😀

  18. Simi

    Amazing ?
    Morning scene??
    Hope everything will sort out asap n can see Swasan together

    1. MAHIRA

      Thank you so much dear simi 🙂

  19. Shifa96

    I read the previous one and this part now and as usual it’s awesome di..
    I wonder, how can u write English so well as its your third language because I had Kannada in school for 3 yrs as my third language and I can’t read or write it soo well..

    1. MAHIRA

      hi dear Shifa 😀
      thank you sooo much ^^
      you can never lear, a language from teaching, evenmy second language, it was my TV-holic toward any kind of program at 12 which made me perfect in it, able to correct native persons in it ^^
      For english, i was good in the academic learning, at school or university, but it’s really on srk fandome website where i started by just reading, commenting by small lines, then reading FF to finally comment freely (other’s goodness make you brave enough to not be afraid about mocking)… then writing a small part, it was bad at the begining, very bad… then slowly you increase your knowledge… i’m still making lot of errors and need a traduction to find a word or two when i’m writing…

  20. Shifa96

    I can understand di that u have put alot of effort to learn and that’s y u r one of the best writers now..
    Plz Post next part soon.

    1. MAHIRA

      Thank you so much *blushing*
      I’ll try to write fast… Next episode has a big twist and mystery will be revealed

      1. Shifa96

        Di..Now u r making me more curious to read the next part..waiting for the mystery and the big twist to unravel..

  21. MAHIRA

    hi everyone, i’m sorry for the delay about the next chapter but i’m having flu, very bad headache, impossible to finish the current chapter for the moment
    sorry again 🙂

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