SWASAN: If this is your love, my Prince… Then, please hate me! [Episode 1]

61

Sitting on the stone bridge edge, Swara’s unanimated reddened with tears eyes fix the river’s flow while the whistling wind and the infinite sound of temple’s bells are curdling her silent sobs, since when was she here? She couldn’t say… since that night.
Black and white images of the memories filling her head are reflected on the water’s surface… love and anger, passion and frustration, romance and fight… the music of a romantic song, caresses, sweet words are melted to shouts, crash and explosion… she’s startled at this last though, the smell of fire and smoke is confounded with the incense’ perfume wrapping her as she recalls Laksh’ and Ragini alarmed faces irrupting at the “accident” site, her sister trying to calm her while Laksh accompanied by rescue and police taking the situation in hands… against all advices of going home, she just doesn’t move from there, her feet were glued to the ground waiting… and waiting… and waiting…

At the early twilight, a covered stretcher is brought from the void. Ragini gripped her arm restraining her from hurrying to the aid forces, she’s barely aware of Laksh’ shattered state as her eyes can’t get off from the stretcher disappearing in the ambulance.

She shivers hugging her legs folded under her chin closing her eyes; far away she can hear a prayer anthem with a deafening bell’s rings coming probably from the temple. She wonders surprisingly if some bride was making a wish on her wedding’s day like she did so long time ago, if she had a fiancé’s obsessed lover for sister and her life will change at the moment she’ll come to throw a flower garland in those waters…

May be this is just a nightmare? Ha she’s really suffering… haa it really happened… but maybe it’s one of those nightmares where Sanskar will arrive from nowhere and wake her reassuring “shhh… don’t worry… you’re safe now…”.

It was him who woke her in the hospital after she has been thrown in the river for death by Ragini… in the forest when Urvashi and Kavitha tried to kill her… on her Sangeet repetition when she had been beaten on her head… after her memory recover…
Haa… he’ll come now, take her hands in his and say that it’s over… she wipes her nose angrily thinking about what happened… turning and returning the events in her mind not able to understand…

She could hear his angry words blaming her about the result of her decision… warning her:
“- … what if we change the story line? What if that day Laksh’ never gone missed? … What if it was me who was missing? … If it was him who tried to kill me? … if he killed me… if I was dead… no sindoor, no mangal sutra, no bangles… you are looking bilkul like a widow for the past months… and I feel bilkul dead every time I see you… don’t worry, I would be an open minded dead husband… kia hua, … scared at the idea of becoming a widow?”
Shaking, she closes her eyes tightly to chase the image of his accusing eyes when he shouted at her face the other secret she never wanted him to know:
“- my innocent chote bhai announced me that my lovely wife faked a suicide attempt to prove my false innocence!… did you point an arm here?… did you pressed the trigger? Did you shoot yourself?”

His broken voice memory makes her cry more recalling the tears filling his eyes when he said:
“- what I felt when you escaped from my hand… when you fell then disappeared under water’s surface…I can bear everything in that world, princess… but THAT… nahi…”
She puts her hands on her ears to stop those words thinking of that decision he blamed her for not respecting ages ago:
“- If anyone of you has any relation with Maheshwari family I’ll kill myself…”
She was panting; helpless to calm down her racing heart beats suffering from every breath filling her lungs… how long will she have this unbearable feeling… didn’t she ask him to kill her? Why he didn’t?… is it his manner to love her?…
“-as a proof of my love to you… you’re asking me to punish you by the reason for what I’m punishing you…”
Then… how could he do that to her?
“-… call it punishment… or a last promise I’ll fulfill to you…”
Again the sound of the crash… again the explosion… again the stretcher disappearing behind ambulance closing doors… she just wants to scream to blow out this mass pressing her throat, squeezing her heart…

Suddenly she’s startled to feel the warmness wrapping her freezing hand, she looks down to see it… her wide opened eyes can’t believe the sight of his hands holding hers, the sound of his worried voice caresses her ears, she looks aside in disbelieve:
“- enough, princess… bahut hogaya!”

His sad eyes, his frowning brow, his perfect long nose and parted lips… his some days beard… her heart skips a beat seeing him sitting there, just at her side taking her hand in his and looking to her so lovingly, her breaths are suspended to his words:
“- how long will you stay here?”

The void consuming her from inside seems has disappeared like by magic, she keeps quite her eyes detailing his face’s features, his shoulder’s shape, his collar, his torso… arms… she couldn’t focus…
He lets go of her hand to take her face in his big hands, wiping her swollen eyes with his thumbs before pressing his lips on her forehead in a tender kiss. Looking in her eyes, he says:
“- come back, princess!”

Her trembling lips succeed asking with a small voice:
“- ka ha?”
He smirks suppressing his tears and explains like to a little girl:
“- to home… they’re all waiting for you… you don’t want them to worry, hai na?”
“- kaun?” she’s frowning not really understanding him, she wants to touch his face but he already withdraws saying avoiding her eyes:
“- all of them… ma… baba… bade ma, bade papa, mum, dad… Rag…”
She stops him saying abruptly:
“- but I want to stay here with you!”
He smiles taking her hand to his lips to kiss it before he replies with a sad smile putting some strands of her hair behind her ear…
“- you know that you can’t, princess… I can’t see you like that… remember… if something happens to Swara, it’s Sanskar who will suffer!”
She grabs his hand tightly trying to argue but suddenly he’s no more here… she cries out
“- SANKAAAR!!”

She wakes up soaked in tears and sweat, sitting in her bed, her scared eyes scan the décor, the deep blue of her room couldn’t reassure her, she looks to her hands, she could feel the warmness of his hold on them, she touches her forehead, there were his lips kissed her…
“- S… S… San..s…kar…”
Her shaking voice was a whisper, she’s sure that he’s here, she wants to get up, to check in bathroom but moving her arms make her wince, she surprised to discover an intravenous nipping her forearm. She frowns looking around again confused, the images of her vivacious dream still haunting her… bells sounds and incense perfumes where wrapping her yet…

She snatches the injection nipping her arm and stands up holding on her head as the room was spinning around her, the awkward feeling of déjà-vu consuming her as she remembers when she wake up more than six months ago after losing her baby… standing in front of her mirror, looking at her miserable state, images of her last conscious memories rush in her head making heavy tears fill her tired eyes again… her finger tips caress the jewels ornamenting her table… bangels… pendant… mangal sutra… a moving reflect in the mirror startles her, she looks up to it then abruptly behind her to the window side… she hurries there… but finds nothing!

A sight outside made her sees unknowns white silhouettes going in and out from Maheshwari’s mansion… she looks back to the mirror and details her image… in white, without bangels… without mangal sutra… without sindoor… her feet take her back to the bed side where she takes a photo of her beloved husband recalling his bitter words. She looks up to her image in the mirror again then to it and says:
If this is your love, my Prince… Then, please hate me!
TO BE CONTINUED…

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
NOTE:
I’ll be happy to read your feedbacks, critics and advices.
Again, English is my 3 rd language, so sorry for errors, misused expressions and orthographic/typing mistakes.
Mahira
* Shameless Swasan’s fan club leader *

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61 Comments
  1. Nice

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much for reading adi 🙂

  2. Shreeyu

    Wow Di…. Eagerly waiting for next part… Lot of questions r there in my mind…. Post asap

    1. MAHIRA

      Thank you so much dear… Wait and see lot of questions to come too but answers too 🙂

  3. Loved it dear very beautiful. How will she live without him

    1. MAHIRA

      Thanks dear…
      Hum, yes how can she? Is she as strong as every body thinks?

  4. Rabia

    Awesomee dear 😊😊

    1. MAHIRA

      Thank you so much dear

  5. SRSL

    Is sanky dead dii. And was swara in coma or something…Awsm part…but then thodi confusing hai…

    1. MAHIRA

      Exactly dear, exactly… I know there lot of confusion yet… But be sabar… It’s coming…

      1. SRSL

        Don’t tell me that sanky is dead for ever…then I won’t spare you (my sanky’s murderer)*angry plus sad pout…😕😕😕

    2. MAHIRA

      *hiding behind sanskar’s photo*
      Wait and you’ll see ;p

  6. awesome update soon

    1. MAHIRA

      Thank you so much 🙂

  7. Raina

    didi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i already warned to you to not kill me. its just tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing. plz dont kill sanskar. god! plz dont do that

    1. MAHIRA

      Hehe… Apke shameless didi is sadistic too ;p
      Thank you soooo much

  8. Amazing..tc..

    1. MAHIRA

      Thank you so much dear 🙂

  9. Arshaanya

    M so glad to see u mahira…
    Loved it yr..
    Continue soon

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much dear 😀 glad you loved it ^^

  10. Kaynatk01

    mahira you are too bad u killed sanskaar i will kill u so badly…. but jokes apart you wrote it very well keep going

    1. MAHIRA

      *keep hiding behind Sanskar’s photo*
      Thank you so much dear… wait and you’ll see 🙂

  11. Kakali

    Waaaaaa this is d most worst nightmare we SwaSanians n Swara could ever had.. !! i know something extraordinary is on d way in ur story Mahira di,, coz he is Sanskar n she is Swara… both r SWASAN… no one can separate them neither Death,nor Destiny not even d shameless leader of our club… !! “MAHIRA DI”..
    i have full faith on d Shameless author…
    Loved it dear.. *hug..
    Thnk u.. ;-*

    1. MAHIRA

      arree wa! mere chote Kaku *did’s kiss and bear hug*
      wait and see… we’re on christmas days, may be magic things will happen^^

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much 😀

  12. Abdul hafiz(Uma)

    Goshhh! It’s damn interesting.. Loving it.. Is he really dead??I think noo bcz swasan are not meant to be separated*sheepish smile.. Keep going dear.. Waiting for nxt..
    Take care
    Keep smiling😀

    1. MAHIRA

      Hum… just wait and see… how strong Swasan love can be?
      Thank you dear, take care too and be happy 😀

  13. Praju

    nice

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you dear 🙂

  14. Wonderful

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you so much tani 😀

  15. Swarna01

    I think swara is in coma and all dese r her imagination and if dat so then wow it gonna b worth reading. Waiting 4 next part

    1. MAHIRA

      i’m already writing dear… wait and see… ^^
      Thank you so much for reading dear 😀

  16. Simin

    Hmm my shona is in sooo much pain

    1. MAHIRA

      sorry about that… but even in her nightmares/dreams… Sanskar is here to soothe her wounds 🙂

  17. Its amazing, quite unique

    1. MAHIRA

      aww… thank you so much my dear… 😀

  18. Deeksha gupta

    Loved it dear ..

    1. MAHIRA

      thank you my dear, thank you for reading and commenting… hope you’ll love the next chapter too

  19. Awsm…..really a fantastic piece of writing…loved it❤

    1. MAHIRA

      awww.. thanks dear DA… 😀
      hope you’ll like the next chapter too

  20. Mahjabeen

    Amazing dear… But wat hpnd to swara???waitng fr nxt

    1. MAHIRA

      hum… about Swara… you’ll have to wait to know :p
      Thank you dear, really glad you loved it 😀

  21. Mica

    waaaa… Swaraaaaa *hide Sanskar

    1. MAHIRA

      hehe… let’s see our beloved Swara a bit without him, how will she react, strong lioness Swara or Ragini’s style ?

      1. Mica

        huh! how can she be strong, her cozy embrace to hide her weakness no more……
        but she is not a looser, rite ? ahem ahem

    2. MAHIRA

      hi five twiny!!! wait and see 😀

  22. Awesome

    1. MAHIRA

      Thank you so much dear Afra 🙂

  23. Chanu

    mahiiraaaaa diiiiiiii,,,……*screaming out loudly
    wt u did 2 my swasan!!!
    omg!
    if u did smtng 2 my sanskar na! i ll die 4 sure!!
    nt nly swara i also cdnt live without him! huuhuu!
    see u made me cry di!
    swaras pain ws awsome!!
    even i cdnt bare it!
    plz dnt dnt kill my sanky!
    bt i knw even death cnt separate my swasan! their lv is jst… *dnt hv wrds!

    swaras pain! omg di ur wrds r amezing!
    its go straight in da heart!
    bt even in dreams my sanku cm and sothe her pain! awww :-*
    bt i dnt like swara in white saree and my sanku too!

    u knw wt di i read dis epi 4 tyms in 1 go!
    i lv dis soo much!
    plz write nxt epi asap!
    i cnt wait more my head will blast 4 sure!

    keep writing
    be happy always
    lv ya
    😀 😀

    1. MAHIRA

      aww *hug and kiss then hug again*
      thank you so much, i’ve so happy tou loved it, can’t say much about what’s happening and what will happen, have to wait a bit 🙂
      Be always happy and smily sweety *mouah*

  24. merry x-mas di!

    hee hee thanx *taking ur hugs and kisses!
    and gv u a biggg hug and kisses 4 u
    and shearing my choco with u and ur niece! *pull her cheeks

    gv me ur epi as a gift 2dy!

    r u celebrating x mas?
    and abt me!
    ummm
    in nt cristian! bt i lv x mas and evry yr we throw a party bz 2dy is my cousin bros b’day!

    1. MAHIRA

      merry chrismas chanu 🙂 *big bear hug and kiss*
      opening my hand showing choco surprise ^^
      In my country we don’t celebrate chrismas but lot of poeple make “happy new year” parties ^^
      happy birthday to the cousin bros 😀

  25. Noooooo it can’t happen plz u can’t be soo heartless Mahira Dii u can’t do this to me I can’t live without my swasan *sad pout and angry also* anyways jokes apart the episode was just awsm I don’t have enough word to describe u literally make me cry the emotions feels so real I just imagining myself in the place of swara her pain is unbearable u just nailed it I love u soooooooooooooo much for this wonderful story diii u r just awsm writer Dii keep writing n plz don’t let my sanskar die plz plz n plz post nxt part soon I just can’t wait anymore

  26. Prashasti7

    Nooooo it can’t happen u can’t do this u can’t be soo heartless I can’t live without my swasan Mahira Diii *sad pout and angry also* anyways jokes apart the episode was just awsm I don’t have enough word to describe the way u write it’s just outstanding I don’t know how to describe my feeling u make me cry I was literally crying while reading n after reading also the feeling the emotions which u describe it seems so real I mean I was just feeling her pain I was imagining myself in her place u r a wonderful writer and the story is marvellous keep writing and plz don’t let my sanskar die n I love u soooooooooooooo much Dii for this wonderful story the concept is quite unique I just love it work n plz post soon I just can’t hold myself anymore luv u Dii god bless u 😘😘😘😘

    1. MAHIRA

      Aww… THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH prashasti dear 😀
      You words filled my heart with happiness… so glad that you loved it
      Hope you’ll like the next episode too 🙂

      1. Prashasti7

        Yup I’ll definitely not like bt love Ur episode it’s like I became quite addicted to Ur story soo plz post soon next part n MERRY CHRISTMAS Diiii 😀😀

    2. MAHIRA

      Mery christmas to you too dear 🙂
      I’ll try to write faster ^^

  27. Adishu

    diiiiiiiiiii I’m so happy to see you…. can u please explain what happened in this chappy….. I didn’t understand….

    1. MAHIRA

      Hi Aditi my dear 😀
      So hum… the whole episode shows Swara sitting alone on the bridge from where she has been thrown in the river, she is suffering like hell from what happened to Sanskar.
      Suddenly, it’s him who come to console her but finally it was just a dream she saw in her coma and she wake up alone in her room.

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