I jerked listening his voice and automatically i mumble seeing him, “Sanskar”. I get happy seeing him, i urge to run to him and bury myself in his embrace but something stops me from going to him.
Yes, he is not normal…he is not looking normal. Something is there in his eyes…the kindness, affection which he always shows on his eyes towards me is not there now. Unaware of this thoughts, i stepped backwards seeing him coming to me with so much of rage. Before i move further back, he grabs my wrist and starts dragging me with him.
He stops where he is and even i was also stopped when we both hear his name is been called by the one who helped me…he turns to his back with so much of furious in his eyes and growled in his dangerous tone, “Don’t dare to spell my name from your filthy mouth” towards the one who saved me. I looked shocked of not understanding what is happening and who are they both to each other.
I look confused but he is not letting me to think more and dragged me to his car and pushed me inside like insane. Till we reach the farmhouse, he kept quiet and having no choice, even i sit silently of thinking about the storm which is running inside his mind. I closed my eyes tightly whenever he drives fast, some unknown fear arouses in me seeing his angry, he did not even care what i feel, and it is like…his behaviour is just opposite when I see him while starting from home.
I really don’t know what was wrong with him, but i know one thing is, he will punish me for sure…as far as i understand, i was with him whom he don’t like or hate. This is enough for his rage to get increased on me and punish me. I sit with so much of fear in my heart and mind, praying and chanting god’s name to help me.
We reached the house, before i get down, i saw him pulling me out from the car and drags me rudely from the entrance to his room. I look at Sita Ma who stares me helplessly seeing me crying with lot of pain.
He pushed me into his room, i fall on the floor with a thud and looking at him with lot of fear and confusion in me. I scared seeing him approaching me with heavy steps, i started crawling back but he get hold of me asking, “What were you talking to him? You allowed him to touch you hand…you like so much is it? What magic he did to you or you…you yourself went to him?”
I looked at him blank of not knowing what and why he is saying all this? I was very much hurt by his harsh words, tears oozing from my eyes…looks like it doesn’t affect him. He keeps hurting me by his words and he stops when i tried to speak, “What are you saying? I don’t understand anything…i was…” i was stopped abruptly when he hold my shoulder and pulls me up, after his words, now his actions also hurting me much. I started wincing in pain of unable to bear his strong hold.
I want to scream in pain but i couldn’t and confused seeing his ruthless behaviour towards me. Before i understand the previous things, i pushed to the bed and look him shockingly of the unexpected happenings. I see him unbuttoning his shirt and leaning towards me, i quickly crawling back to the bed, but he stops me and keeps hurting me his harsh words, more than his touch, his words hurts me the most.
He hold my chin tightly and mumbles, “You were romancing with him right?” i am loss of words hearing him and is about to say something, before i try it, he crashed his rough lips onto me mercilessly. I feel all sort of pain in myself when he kissed me. He didn’t let me breath and when i gasp for breathe, he bites my lip and i could sense the blood in it. He did not bother about anything and keeps hurting me.
At once, i started pushing him forcibly, he holds my hand on either sides and press his body onto mine, i couldn’t stop his ruthless behaviour and keeps protesting him. At one time, i gathered some energy and fight with him, i pushed him on the other side and gets up to run but again he hold my hand, but this time, i did not give him a chance to overpower me, when i moved and pushed his hand from, unknowingly, i slapped him…with full force.
We both are staring each other for some time, i blinked at him seeing him holding his cheek and glares me angrily. I simply stare him of recalling what ever happened in few mins, i see him looking at me angrily, i don’t know the reason for his angry on me, but i am sure..i am not at fault.
Before he says something, i opened my mouth hastily, “I did not do anything as you think. He just helped me from him….he just helped me. I don’t know why you are behaving to me like this” i couldn’t say anything more, started crying badly thinking about my helpless situation.
But i hear him, “From whom?” i looked straight into his eyes with my teary ones, i still see the furious in his, but i give a stern look and replied, “I don’t know, someone was harassing me, he came and saved me from him. Nothing happened as you thought. I was not there to romance with him…i was just walking there but when someone misbehaved with me, i was looking for you only… but you were busy with…with” i couldn’t finish my sentence and turn my face to other side.
I don’t know what he is thinking, but i sense his touch on my hand, i wince in pain coz of the blood clot where he held me tightly, he immediately removed his hand from mine and looks at me of not knowing what to do. I glance his face and his eyes; i could feel some pain, fear. The fear of losing someone, the pain of getting betrayed.
Without saying anything, i walk to the doorstep and looks at him, i can see only his back…he is sitting in the same position without flinching. I could feel his pain, guilty feelings but this time i made sure that i am not going to fall weak in front of him. He shouldn’t have done this to me without knowing the truth. And for this, for his merciless, ruthless act, i am not going to forgive him so easily. He hurts me so much, his words, his behaviour with me…all destroyed my growing feelings on him.
At this moment, i wanna say to him is, “I JUST HATE YOU Mr.SANSKAR”
I immediately opened the door and run to my room & locked it. I couldn’t do anything but cried thinking about the happenings in my life.
I am in shock now, after hearing her statement. She was being harassed by someone else and he saved her, SHIT…how could i misunderstand her. God, how much i hurt her…she bears so much pain…even after seeing her tears also, i couldn’t stop my wild behaviour. What kind of a human i am?
“You are not human…you are a beast” my mind retorted me with so much of anger.
I sit without having any emotion and sense her standing at the doorstep, i don’t have guts to look at her innocent face now…i feel so guilty thinking about her cry and plead.
I was equally shocked when she slapped me, my rage gets furious seeing her but then it went away from her when i hear her what exactly happened. My inner anger arises again when she said someone harassed her and i responded with the same growling tone, “From whom?”
She simply replied don’t know…what the hell? Now how will i find him and punish him for touching her. I determined myself to punish him the worst who in turn made me to torture my Senorita.
I felt bad seeing her tears, the wounds made by me…i slowly touched her hand and she hissed in pain which gives me also the same pain. I couldn’t
do much but simply staring her, soon she got up and walks away from the room leaving me in my frozen state.
My blood boils, recalling the happenings whatever she told, she was expecting for me, but what i was doing?…i was with Mahira…i just thought to check her possessiveness towards me, but i never want to leave her alone.
When i don’t find her in the party hall, only i know how much i feared of losing her. All random thoughts occupied my mind and heart together and made me insane. But the moment when i saw her, i feel so relaxed but the next moment my anger overpowered myself seeing Laksh there. That’s when i turned to a beast and gave pain to her.
I know i did wrong to her, i want to repent for what i did. I can’t sit like this, i can’t be away from my senorita. I need her now, i want to keep her in my embrace, i want to soothe her pain, i want to safeguard her from all the harms.
I get up the next moment and rushes out to her room, but it is locked. I knocked it once and wait for a response, but i did not get it. I knocked it again but this time also no response and now i got panicked and keeps knocking the door, but after so much of time, the door opens and i find her in her usual dress, but having the bag in her hand which i gave her in the morning.
Before i ask something, she pushed me that bag in my hand and slammed the door again on my face…ON MY FACE.
I stare the locked the door and looked at the bag in my hand. I understand her anger on me, then i decided to give sometime for her to forgive me, i moved to my room and opens the bag.
She hands me everything, the dress, the matching jewels with the chit saying, “I was very happy while wearing all this…because i thought you gave all this with love. Love comes when you trust the person. But now, you proved that you never believed me at any time and believed what you saw? When you don’t trust me, then there is no point in keeping all this with me. Becoz, for me trust is the basis for any kind of relationships , i shouldn’t expect love or affection from you when the trust has no place between us. That’s my mistake of living in a dream. Here i gave what all you handed me. Please check once whether everything is there or not? ”
I wanted to scream aloud to let out my pain, i felt numb reading her phrases. I could sense her pain just by her words. Oh Shit…how much pain she would be having now. More than this..i feel one thing is, My senorita is going far from me…which i don’t want and i won’t allow also.
Now it is my time to show my feelings to her, how much importance she has in my life…well i can’t describe what kind of feelings i have for her…i was having lust…only lust but now i could find the difference in my own feelings…it’s not only lust…it’s just more than that.
Because she is something special in my life…which i never wished to loose it.
Thank you for reading this chapter. Hope you like it.
Thank you 🙂