Assalam alokom all dosto…..
How are you??
What you wait for???…. its very hot episode… start reading com on com on… and comment on lines if u can please…
“mama….mama… wake up”
I woke up opening my eyes slowly and it hurted me so much cause of crying for I don’t know how long…
“why you crying mama?… bad dream?”
“yea, sa..sanskar. but all is ok now Sanskar”
I looked at the phone, it has been three hours.
“challo Sanskar fresh up and I will ask for delivery, no mode for cooking”
“yaaaaaaaaaaa best mommy ever, ummma” Sanskar put a kiss to my cheek as he went out of my room. I can’t imagine my life without Sanskar anymore… without him my life would have been a real hell, just like before he was born.
I couldn’t believe that my husband, my love would choose his work over me, but I couldn’t hate him, ever, he had a point, I think I would have left him after long enough knowing that i hurt him by my existance in his life, but not in that time when i needed him most.
After I left the house I was lost, where to go and what to do?? I couldn’t back to gadodia house, never…. So I just limbed to one of my friends, Mandira. She was true angel, she took me in even after telling her all what happen to me and where I really came from.
Mandira didn’t agree on me on my later actions as I decided to hide. Yes HIDE, no more swara gadodia…. I bought some wags to cover my hair, I didn’t want to change its color, Sanskar loved my hair, loved me, and….. I … d… I didn’t…..want to change but I had to sneak around it. So wags and glasses all the time, it took me 3 weeks to be what I am now.
Swara Shah, a coming girl from far Punjab with middle university education. And after struggling with jobs I found myself as a jerk sub manager secretary, but I never complain. I never complain about anything, never spook unless I am forced too, no socials, no pics, no parties unless I am forced too at work. I don’t argue, don’t fight, and don’t bring any attention, it’s not just that I wanted to hide but I have lost my reasons to be alive.
Committing suicide is great sin to do even to me, also I fear the pain, yes I became coward so i couldn’t do it. But when I got Sanskar, everything changed, holding that few kilos of pink flesh in my arms shifted my world in seconds and I had a reason to breath after I was a living corpse. My world became just me and Sanskar only – like it was with another sanskar- nothing else mattered till the day I saw my husband again, my Sanskar.
Swara POV over
I got jerked from my dreams about the past with someone jumping on my bed
“sanseeekaaaaa, come on wake up, wake up, up, up, up, up”
“choto princess stop please”
“nnnnnnooooo, you slept looong, come on”
She was still jumping making bed as a hell earthquake
“come here you little…” I gripped her and start tickling her madly, she is very ticklish, her laughs were echoing all over my room…
“you will stop jumping right ahh”
“hahahhaha pls… hahahahaha” she kept her laughs, I picked her in my hug… my little princess
“you done your homeworks??”
“good girl, come on, sit down at dinning table until I come ok”
I put her down and watch her running, her legs barely gets apart making her run like little duck, damn I am in love with her steps. Did sanky take these steps too?? Did he say mama or papa first? Did he cry when he fell? When did he had his first tooth? How were his laughs?
I clenched my eyes tight shut, it’s no time to be weak Sanskar, and you have such many works to take care off. I freshen up quickly and come down…
“badi ma please put the dinner quickly im soooooooooooooo starving”
I can since their slight shock, I should be like an angry nerd, but… for some reason, I don’t wanna be.
Ragini took step to me: are you ok Sanskar??
“no I am not, I hungry like forever, I may not leave anything for you people to eat come on”
“itna hungry ahhh?” laksh chuckled
“how much sanseeeka?”
“hmmm I wonder how much, hmmmm I might the whole of you, come here”
I chase little swara around, our laughs eco everywhere in this hell world. I caught her and all family was laughing as I picked her arms and make her as a mil circling in my place…
“ahhh ahhh hahahaha mommmy.. dizzy.. hahaha moommmyyyyyyy”
I stopped and picked her check “you dizzy ah?”
“then let’s try another thing”
I start throwing her in the air and pick her again and her laughs grew wider “hahahah more sanseekaaaa” again and again and I hear the whole family laugh, and god damn me if I let these laughs fade anytime sooner…. After I felt myself breathless I put swara down and rest until we all have dinner. It was about time for them to leave….
Sharmishta ma paused at me: are you sure you don’t wanna come with us beta…
“nahi I have many works to do”
I gave her confident look, then I turn to shekhar uncle “I know I hurted you the most uncle, but I swear to you, I ll bring her soon”
He gave me weak smile “I know you will, now more than ever. What I am concerned about is her after she come back.
I saw sadness all over him, swara left without knowing the truth, she didn’t knew her parents, I confronted shekhar uncle about it many times still…
“wouldn’t you tell me about that uncle. I mean I completely understand it, you both wanted a baby, but it wasn’t possible so you adopted one, Totally normal. Then why never told swara about it?”
I know I am being bad right now as I saw more sadness taking over his face features, he gave a look to sharmishta ma then to me again “Me and sharmishta had always longed for a child, who don’t beta?? But I couldn’t give her that. Then god had heard our prays and gifted us swara. That is all you should know, swara is our child and nothing can change that.”
I felt hidden meanings in his words but I simply couldn’t lay a hand to it, it irrated me but I can’t force him. He moved away followed by ragini holding little swara after I give her a good bye.
“I can help you finding her you know, or I would search her by own, but I won’t do that yet, you know why? To give you a chance fixing what you did last time” laksh face was a mix between mocking and serious
I replied him quietly “and to that I am grateful laksh”
He turned in the middle “Sanskar!! If you did that mistake again, it won’t be just a nose break, I will make sure you would stay broken in a hospital for months, and no one will stop me”
Ok he was really serious in this one, but I couldn’t help but to chuckle “don’t worry about that, if I ever did it I will make sure to send myself to the morgue of the same hospital”
He smiled all the way wide showing his 32 teeth with no exception, and now it was me and shome ma
“beta, promise me, in the moment you find swara’s address you will take me with you”
“ma, actually I don’t know if…”
“Sanskar that’s not a request”
I sensed her serious like never before, so I simply gave her my word. Badi ma and my father was still there…
“badi ma please send me coffe to my office”
“it’s enough what you did to her today Sanskar” my dad try to bend me as he know I never ask for this b*t*h unless for hating her.
“ENOUGH???? ENOUGH??? Nahi papa, it’s never enough. EVER. I was a person that no one wanted, not even your own family, they pour their hatred on me. Day by day hatred accumulated in me forming a zone of darkness. Darkness defined me, still swara loved me, swara took me from my darkness, she made me a better person, and that woman and her husband took her from me. They hurted my light, my angel, sorry father I am a man not a saint.
I walked to my study room. No one can understand my pain; no one can feel that pain, only swara will, this is the only hatred I couldn’t let go, sorry swara. I went to my father only for you, I accepted my brother just for you, to be better…for you.
My thoughts draft me to her first sight in collage, her doe eyes, her bubble, I loved her smile. How I married her, damn I was a jerk, our fights.. the mango juice… oh god, the night I raped her… our life was filled with so many but we still survive, but I ruined everything huh….
I pick my phone, I have a mission for my PA
“go to, XY school, there is a student in first grade name Sanskar, by tomorrow I want all information in school file but most important is his address got it”
I hanged it, tomorrow, just wait me little more princess….
I saw parinita comning in shaking in fear, better she does.
“she handed me th cup but I drop it my feet “now clean it”
“Sanskar you… you… ca…. can’t….”
“if you don’t want your fate to be worse try to object me ok, and save your tears, it won’t make me easy on u by any how, C L E A N …. by your own saree”
She knew that I mean each word so she started to do it, and I like it.. call me bad, evil, jerk, heartless I don’t f**king care but i ll revenge that b*t*h each day in her life.
Sanskar POV over
I couldn’t sleep since yesterday, I couldn’t even work well today, as sanky told me he spoke to Sanskar, so Sanskar now know that sanky in that school, if he really looks for me I expect to see him very soon, and that is the last thing I ever want.
My thoughts is so disturbed, I don’t know even how I sent sanky to school today, and now he is well sleep in his bed for afternoon nap.. still my heart is aching… I must leave here soon, very soon, but what about sanky? To take him just like that from his house and school, he will ask many questions I wouldn’t be able to answer…
Doorbell? I don’t expect anyone to come today, whom that might be???… I open the door to receive the shock of my life.
He was there at my door step, his beard, his missy falling hairs on his sweaty forehead, his white jacket was flawless around his body matching his sky blue shirt, blue jeans, and then I raise my eyes to be held in his brown orbits. I felt our breaths was getting high shallows, almost stopping, and if you mute the around sounds you will hear our racing hearts.
He wasn’t alone; I knew it now, Bengali saree, red dot, tight bun, the same figure that I woke up on its sound for many years in my life…
“won’t you let us in?” the sound of sharmeshta ji woke me up from my shock, it was emotional and sad. This happened too soon than I supposed, I clear the way for their entry then closed the door. They walked slowly inside, well my flat wasn’t something much, two rooms and a hall where I have Italian style kitchen – if you like to call no space for kitchen with that name – huh. Not even that big flat.
“nice flat” told Sanskar, probably try to break the silence, but I have no mode.
“why you are here??” both gazed me, as I used my cold tune, I don’t want anything from them.
“won’t you give us a drink?” again Sanskar, ufff breath swaraaa.
I tie my arms around my chest “I don’t have time for guest manners. My son is sleeping and soon to be awake, and I don’t want him to be there around this unwanted confront, so please take your leave and leave my life quietly…
“too late to leave beta” told sharmishta ji as she moved to the middle couch I have taking her seat while Sanskar moved behind her and sit on the chair…
“I don’t have time for this” i spoke in irrated tune.
“I fear you must” she said again but her tune was more stern “sit down swara”
“I won’t sharmishta ji” I say with challenge.
“yes you will”
“you are not my mother to order me… remmber that” I say in bit anger shout…
Then she did something I never saw it coming…
What do you think sharmishta did???
How was the episode??
Precap: My Heaviest Secreat
Allah hafiz all