SWASAN FF I Hate u & I Hate Myself Because I Still Love U Episode 4

Hi I am back after a hectic schedule. Thank you all for ur great support and patience. In these days I have tried my best to reply to all ur comments. If I missed someone I’m sorry and big thanks to u too. Also a bigggggg thanks to my silent readers.

Now time for the next chapter. The chapter is of past .


It was the first day of first years. My gang, manik, vihan, Siddharth & randir, were ragging the freshers. I was sitting a little far away from them not being interested at all.

Just then I saw a girl, who was crossing my friends without giving a damn to them . Being a true friend, it hurt my ego. I just walked up to her and blocked her way. When she turned to me

don’t know from were, a cool breeze hit. Her eyes seemed so familiar. I felt like I know her from ages.

Swara’s POV

It was my first day in college. I was soo happy because I am back to India after a long 14 years. Baba & ma were not ready to send me here. But me being stubborn convinced them and di helped me a lot in this.

As I went inside the college I saw a group of seniors were ragging. They called me but I passed them as if I didn’t hear. Just then I saw a hand blocking my way. I was scared . I turned my face to see him.

Don’t know from where a cool breeze hit me. His eyes seemed so familiar . I felt like I know him from ages.

I went from there. Gone to my class. But all I could think was about his hazel eyes. When ever he was around i could feel it. When he is not found I felt so lonely.


From then I started to notice her, it’s like when ever she is around me I could feel it. If she takes a day off I felt too lonely. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me.

Swara’s POV

Days passed. In these days I made friends, Roshni & Sanyukta were my close friends as we share a room in the hostel. Aarushi & Nandini were staying in their own house. I also got to know that his name was Sanskar.

The day our first semester exams were over me and my friends were having a good time. Then a boy ( Sanskar’s classmate) came and proposed me. I had no interest is I just denied. He gone for there giving me an angry look. I was upset so to change my mood Aarushi brought the idea of gossipping and the topic was our college Beauty, Sasha. I was not interested in that talk but my attention was dragged when I heard her saying that Sasha and Sanskar were in a relationship. I felt hurt.


On that Valentine’s day Sasha, my classmate, proposed me. I politely declined, and she just became hysteric. We argued a lot she asked me the reason for the rejection. And to avoid her I said I love someone else. She asked who. I looked around and saw her, by then I came to know that her name was Swara. I walked up to her, held her hands and dragged her near Sasha and tell that I love Swara.

Sasha left with an angry face and cruising me or was it Swara she was cruising. Any how I escaped. But just then I realized what I did. I turned to Swara , there she was standing shocked rather numb. I felt like stabbing myself seeing her condition.

I took her away from there to our, ground made her sit on a bench offered her some water, she gulped it in a go.

Swara’s POV

Haven’t I heard it right. He loves me. No no it must be a dream. When I was busy in my own thoughts he held my hands and take me to the ground . I was on cloud nine , till when he said a sorry. I was confused.

He gently held my hands and explained himself that whatever he said was not true. He did it just to convince Sasha & that he don’t love her. My heart was broken into pieces. He kept on apologising, and I went from there silently. Before I could reach my class I heard a song. I saw Sanskar standing there holding a mic.

Wait is he trying to convince me. I agree that I was a little upset but I was not angry with him. I was impressed with his way of convincing me.


I saw here smiling as I finished singing. I was revealed. My gang began to tease me, as I was not a guy who ever give any heed to a girl. I don’t know what magic she did on me that I was distributed by her sad face.

Any how that was the start of our friendship

Sorry guys I thought to give u a Maha episode but it’s becoming impossible to type more because of this arthritis. After this marriage preparations and all I’m hell tired too. So again sorry and I promise I will give another episode tomorrow. Thank u. And also a bigggggg sorry if the chapter is boring. Bye.

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  1. Rosey

    It’s ok dear I understand it condition as my fingers are too swallow that’s why I’m unable to write my ff too but I like episode but I was not expecting past so soon I want to know present before past plz post next part with present and with some lead to the culprit plzzzz I hope u don’t mind

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u rosey di. i will consider ur suggetions for sure

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u priya

  2. Abirsha

    Its awesome dr and its not at all boring….. I can understand dr…. No need to worry….. Post when u can…. ?

  3. Nice dear…bt post past along wid present…

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u xavia

  4. Arshaanya

    Nyc chappy

  5. Awesome dear….Please update soon

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u and will try

  6. Khushiii


    1. Mariyajap

      thank u kushi

  7. Radhika..

    awesome part swasan friendhip happen the part is amazing and don’t worry about next part when u will be free than give the next part.

    1. Mariyajap

      thank you radhika love u fr ur concern

  8. Super awesome

    1. Mariyajap

      thank you tani

  9. Sammykapoor

    its ok dr….awesome part

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u sammy

  10. Deeksha

    Loved it dear….!!!!! Take care….!!!!!!!continue soon….!!!!!

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u &will continue soon

  11. Soujanya


    1. Mariyajap

      thank u soujanya

  12. I loved this story the past revelation is so good give present also this chapter is indeed vry good take care dearie nothing is more important than your health

  13. the past revelation is so good give present also this chapter is indeed vry good I loved the concept take care dearie nothing is more important than your health

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u for ur concern it means a lot to me

  14. Simin

    Amazing chappy dear
    take care

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u simin

  15. Mahjabeen

    Its okk dear..no need to wry..
    Nd da chappy ws awesome..loved it..
    Waitng fr nxt

  16. Rabia

    awesome dear 🙂

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u rabia di

  17. Vyshu10


    1. Mariyajap

      thank u vyshu

  18. Nice

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u dear

  19. Kakali

    Nice dear … love it … thnk u.. 😉

    1. Mariyajap

      thank u di
      i was waiting for ur comment

  20. Mariyajap

    thank u di
    i was waiting for ur comment

  21. Sanjanaagrawal

    Wooo !!!!! Mariya !!!!! Welcome back … I was just waiting for ur ff …. and hope ur cousin’s marriage was good …. wish her good luck for her future life by my side !!!!!!! And coming to episode its awesome !!!!! And now u should take rest !!!! Update whenever u feel better !!!!

    1. Mariyajap

      Thank you so much. Ur love and concern means a lot to me

  22. Mica

    love it ty

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