Swasan fan fiction (Season 2 ) episode 41

Hi guys,last episode was posted on 10th march,don’t know if u all remember this ff….

(In previous ,Sanskar asking Swara to go home,Raglak inviting Sanskar’s parents and Swara for their engagement,their engagement where Sanskar is not invited,Swara reaching her home,Sanskar’s sister Meera meeting Swara and venting out her frustration that her brother alone is suffering and being avoided,before leaving,she, keeping something on the bed and saying that it is for her……..)

Scene 1:

Meera has left,Swara had accompanied her to the gate,she comes back and opens the packet which Meera had kept on the bed,she takes it and goes to the balcony,she goes and sits on the carpet there (it is also one of her favourite places where she finds comfort other than her father’s photo in the room,she slowly opens it,she is surprised seeing the contents inside,it is the same diary,pen and Walkman which Swara had gifted to Sanskar at school when she got him as her New year friend,she slowly opens it,a few petals fell down as she turned the pages,she gets more curious and surfs through the pages fast,she finds a few pages etc and realises that it is from another diary which has been stuck ,she reads the first page,a drop of tear rolls down her cheeks,she looks up not able to believe what she was reading,she quickly takes the Walkman in her hands out of curiosity,she finds a cd inside,she quickly puts the battery and presses the play button,she keeps the head set and closes her eyes…..

Scene 2:

Swara listens , “Swara,I know you will never hear this,because,I have never let you hear what my heart wanted you to hear,I was helpless ,Swara,but ,if I don’t speak today,then,my heart will burst,it is your wedding after two days,I cant stay here and watch it,but ,if I go away,you may understand ,because ,you know me,very nicely,it is too difficult to pretend in front of you,Swara,these words are from my heart,every word is true,you have seen me crying before leaving for college,that time,I didn’t feel shy,you know why?,because I have never considered you as somebody else,always you were a part of mine…. (Swara is listening through the head set,her heart is beating faster,she is trying hard to compose herself,she closes her eyes and is crying,her stress is clearly evident from the way she has hug the diary and leaned on to the wall and the Walkman is there on her lap,she feels his voice travelling miles and reaching directly to her heart….), “Swara,silence has played the role of multiple words between us,more than words spoken,those which were to be spoken,were struck, somewhere in the heart itself….,you were right,all what you have felt was right,hiding my heart from you was the biggest challenge,still,you realised,everything,I realised ,that you were feeling everything,because,you were always a part of mine….and me,yours…

“On our farewell day,I wanted to tell you that I will miss you,but couldn’t,told,will miss Ragini,Lucky…….you”,you looked surprised,but how could I tell you that meeting you was the bestest thing that those school days had given,each moment spent with you at school,tuitions,were engraved in my heart,couldn’t tell you anything,Swara,then,after results,my birthday party at Ragini’s house,before leaving I asked you if you will miss me or not,you replied with a question,ie,what do I think about that,both of us knew the answer there,very clearly,yet ,I told I don’t know,but I knew everything Swara,have always read you…then when you all came to leave me at the bus stop,when I hugged you for the first time,told bye and that I hope you wont forget me,a tear rolled down those cheeks,I knew it was for me,I told you I will try to come atleast once a month,and you told that I wont understand and asked me to go,but I did understand Swara,don’t remember since when,but eversince you walked in to visit a recovered chicken pox patient,have been able to understand,every thought of yours….as soon as I took the sim and it got activated,from hostel,I dialled your number first,because,I was missing you,so badly,your voice ,your presence was like air,I go breathless when I go away from you,wish I could tell you this when you were there with me,then how you told me not to go behind other girls,but why should I go,when I have a girl who lives in me,then first vaction,seeing you at home,along with Rags,I wanted to come and tell you how much I missed you,I missed everyone,but missing you was a different feeling altogether,

I realised it when I stayed away,then you asked for the blue pot,you think I had thrown that away?,it was just given a new place,ie backyard,and Meera had always watered it and the branches that I planted evrytime I came home ,you brought 12 roses from 12 pots,my mom has asked me and Meera why we are giving extra care to those pots,but Meera,has never asked me that question,from the same womb na,she might have read her brother’s heart…number of roses blossomed in those plants and inside my heart,only for you,wish I could let you know this,Swara….that without giving you,I saved every petal,for you,inside my heart…Meera asked me if I am happy with your wedding,thank God she is in hostel now,because,I may fail to hide my eyes..then the number of sms’s,how you remembered every class tests,you would have offered special prayers also,right?(Swara nods with her closed eyes,her clothes are wet with those tears,it is as though her heart is pouring out the pain that has been suppressed for ages ,but this time,she is not sad,she is realising something for which she has lived 12 years….)

Then you took me to temple,together we lit the diya ,my heart knew what you were going to tell me and I was preparing my heart to tell you the biggest lie of my life,I wanted to tell you Swara,then the way you held your head and sat on those stairs listening to my rejection,I wanted to hug you Swara and tell you,that,you are just that one blessing which I have always wished for,asked for,when life gave challenges one after the other,it was your face that made life worth living,then ,after dropping you home,went back and collected those roses which were left there on the ghat,it was crushed ,I know how much your heart was crushed but it is just that I pretended as though I was unaffected,got a few petals and it is kept safely inside my personal diary,it may wither but my feelings for you,never will….

I had stood in front your dad’s photo and promised that I will give his daughter all the happiness this world could offer,but I failed Swara,totally failed,I broke your heart,how will I ask you to be a part of my troubles,you will never be happy with me,you told you will wait,but,I cant be selfish my dear,I cant put you inside a cage of problems,because…but I know something very well,not just this life,if there are multiple lives,then also ,Sanskaar will belong only to Swara,Sanskaar is Swara’s,no other girl will ever enter this life,I will live till the last breath,with you,who lives inside my heart…Swara…wish I could look into your eyes and tell you this, “you are the reason for my existence,your presence was the medication for my wounded soul,I have always believed that I was born only to love you,Swara,my dear,I love you,you will never hear this from me,but,I love you,and I always will,I will miss you,but will wait for the next life,when,you will be mine ,we will keep aside all our responsiblilties ,then,and just float in those clouds,like two angels,we will complete our love ,then..till then,let my love be buried,within this heart,itself……I will sing for you your favourite song ,though we have aways teased you for this song being your favourite,now this has a lot of meaning in our lives, I will sing this completely for you,today…

“Tadap tadap ke is dil se aah nikalti rahi hai,mujko saza di pyaar ki,aisa kya guna kiya,to lut gaye haan to lut gaye,to lut gaye hum teri mohabbat mein,tadap tadap…..(Swara who was seated with closed eyes,hears his voice breaking and leaving way for his tears,she hears the Sanskaar who has always hid his heart crying loudly for her…she is shivering,suddenly she hears the recording being stopped and opens her eyes…she stares at the Walkman,the diary,she takes those dry petals inside her palm and her tear falls down on them,she surfs fastly through the pages,she realises that it has been written only about her,every memory of their time spent was there,she reads quickly,pages are getting wet with her tears,she kisses the page where she read how Sanskaar cried at the beach after she left after meeting Sanju…she suddenly turns the pages and finds that,it has end abruptly,she checks again and again,back and forth, as though words will appear by her doing that,then she stares at those precious belongings and rushes inside with it,she is in front of her Papa’s photo now,she goes and leans onto it,keeps the diary and Walkman on his chest in the snap and tells, “you heard,no?Papa,you heard everything no?my Sanskaar loves me,yes,he is not Sanju’s,he is mine,he has always been mine,what you told God didn’t go unanswered,God had heard Papa,he heard us,see,

Sanskaar loves me,saying this she cries loudly ,hugging the photo with one hand and supporting the diary in her left hand….her whole body is shivering and she is unaware of what her condition is,she slowly loses her grip on the wall and she is about to fall down,she composes herself and sits there,leaning onto the wall and tightens her grip on her folded knees and cries loudly….after some time,she slowly opens her eyes and checks the diary again and thinks, “but what happened after this,why did he marry me ,then,if he was supposed to sacrifice his love,what made him take this step,no,Sanskaar cant be selfish to hurt my loved ones and marry me,who were those masked men??lots of questions are disturbing her,she slowly gets up and goes to the wash room,stands in front of the mirror,splashes water forcefully on her face,not knowing that she is totally wet,then she tells to herself, “Swara,you have to find out what led to this,but ,Sanskaar wont answer you,then who else,what is that link that is missing between these events?… “Sanskaar,I am not going to leave you..my love is going to suffocate you………….”

(Not proof read)

(Thank you Sethooty(Malar) for messaging me and for your beautiful ff titled “Bz I loved her,Sanskaar’s love story”,if u had not msgd, I would not have posted today also,Vaishu,hope your mains was easy,Mickey,Joya,Shraddha,Vinita,Niti,Needhi, how r u guys?Appu,Leku,Sri,Shabrin,Meghs,Divya Shankar,Sindhuja,Shani,Nandana,Musku,Nidhi,Ishani,Devi,Akku,Manu,Neha,Dhara,Lakshmi,Kittu,Jyotii,Lee,Sree

Harini,Zoya,Dolly,Navi,Riya,Rs,Ambika,Diya,Divi,Isha,Snehal,Neha,Falguni,Bhargavi,Richu,Sanju,Nandini,Nik,sorry for not mentioning all the names,just mentioned a few who came to mind,but hope all you guys are hale and hearty,stay blessed………….)

Credit to: Vini(Veena)

172 comments

  1. Joya

    Hey sethooty i m super fine yr…………
    After watching all of ur names in comment box i m in 7th sky……………
    Vaishu yr kya karu bahot miss kar rahe the hum tum sab ko…..duri sahi jaye na?

    Rups,shraddha how r u?????????????

    U know guys hum paper dekar ghar ja rahe hai….bus me hai……tum sab k reply dekhar hum itne khush huye ki i was singing a song loudly………..lady passange was looking at me.????………..i m so happppppppppy guyssssssssssss…………..love u alot yr……………………..

    • Shraddha

      I’m great Joooo
      Humare coll me na Technical n Cultural fest tha!!!! Aur na Woh singer aya tha Battameez Dil jisne gaya hai na toh me pure party mood me thii???
      Aur trust me uske ke concert ke beech me suddenly mujhe NIYATI N TUMHARI yaad ayi yaarrrrr joyaaaaa!!!?
      Remember shayad Niyati ne ya tumne kaha tha ki hum sab aise party kare ya phir kuch toh disco ka kaha tha shayad Niyati nee sachi me bohot miss kiya sabkooi!!!!

      N den how are u ?? What’s up??

      How is everyone one guys????
      Hope doing good!!
      Vini diiii I’m dying to see what swara is going to do next????
      Have a nice day everyone!!

      • sethooty

        Cultural fest..wow singer is Benny dayal….yes Niyati paijama party..I think with kriya and her friends.. Just came into mind…

  2. Vini

    Hi everyone,will respond to ur comments tomorrow,army(Jo,Shraddha,Mickey,Vinita,Niti,Needhi,Vaishu,Kriya,Sethooty),missed u all,saw a few names here when I scrolled down, need to read properly n respond ..that is the sole reason y m not responding now.

    • Shraddha

      Anytime Vini di!!!
      No hurry?✌
      But defiantly in hurry to see Sanskaar n Swara ha??
      Just kidding for now this episode is more than enough to read every nite n go to sleep in peace ki yessss she knows finally??

      • sethooty

        Guy’s thanku so much for liking my Ff. Shradha.actually am hesistated to tell u all feel shy..haha..vaishu caught me In red hand..wen I told about my shyness, her reply made me laugh ‘Di u r not going to propose any one…tell this to everyone.”

    • sethooty

      Hey mickey darling..bihu festival started.. I read it from news paper..
      Our festival in Kerala ‘vishu’ is on the same time..

      • sethooty

        Divya..actually my name is sethulakshmy.. Am from Kerala..Everyone call me as sethu..sethooty
        Sethu means bridge..Laksmy..is laksmy ..goddess..
        Joya and shradha actually started to reply from last..but still am here.. Will catch u later…
        Where is vinitha..
        Miss u niti and kriya…miss u lot

    • sethooty

      Vaishu..Dr..onam is our state festival celebrated for 10 days , keralites all over the world celebrate this bz there is no religious, caste barrier for this harvest fest..Hindu Muslim Christian everyone celebrate on Aug-sep month.
      Vaishu is on April 14..early morning before sunrise , we first see the Krishna idol after waken up. My mom will blindfold me with her hand and make me stand in front of the in house temple , when I open my eyes I will only see his idol adorned with flowers and jewellery.This is the ritual, its very auspicious for us.Assam
      ‘bihu fest’ a flower is used forget the name..similar we used “konna flowers ” to decorate Krishna idol.
      ..

      • vaishnavi

        Ohh I thought onam is celebrated now but now I got clarity…….thank u soo much ………so bihu nd vishu fests r celebrated on april 14 aa but ughadhi celebrated tomorrow only…nd der is also another festival in dis month dat is ‘sri rama navami’ which is on april 15 I think u people know abt this festival … d o u celebrate it??

  3. Saw right now that you posted and really happy…how are you? And today’s part was memorable when finally swara got to know real feelings of sanskar

  4. sneha grewal

    Hey vini,pls upload next part
    Eagerly waiting for ur ff,pls update soon pls pls pls

  5. m superrr fine di??.. n u r ryt.. mne bht tym socha ki wrtn updts me vini di ki baare me kuch kahu agr koi jnti ho toh.. bt issbar me sach me dar gayi??????.. toh isilye wha kuch nhi kaha

    • vaishnavi

      Wat all u will do di in dat festival. ..I mean how u will celebrate it ?? How many days festival it is? Wats d most special thing abt dis festival…..kuch kahiye na iske baare main…..apkho pata hai mujeh yeh sab jaanne main bahut intrest hain

  6. hihi Vaisu??.. ok dn suno…

    bihu 3 typs ki hoyi h.. (1)Bohag bihu or Rongali bihu (2) kati bihu or kangali bihu n lst (3)magh bihu or Bhugalu bihu.. n ech fstvl hstoriclly rcgnses a dffrnt agricultural cycle..xuley its clbrte d onset of assamese new year

    n april ko toh bohag bihu h na n yeh pure 7days ke liye hoti h.. like (1)chot bihu(চ’ত বিহু)(2)rati bihu(ৰাতি বিহু)(3)goru bihu(গৰু বিহু)(4)manuh bihu(মানুহ বিহু)(5)kutum bihu(কুটূম বিগু) (6)mela bihu(মেলা বিহু) n (7)chera bihu(bohagi bidai)

    .
    goru bihu means cow bihu.. on d lst day of sankranti n d 1st day of Rongali bihu is dedictd to d cows.. the cow of d vllge are brght to a water source.. hmm. lyk a pond or river.. n dn cows are washed with a combination of symblic herts

    mmah halodi(black gram n teumeric paste), dighloti pat(litsea salicifolia), makhioti pat.. n a pieces of lau n bengena(bottle gourd n brinjal)..

    n dn ppl sing lyk diz:
    ”dighloti dighol paat, makhi maru jat jat, lau kha bengena kha, bosore bosore bahi ja.. mar horu baper horu toi hobi bor goru”.. dt means?

    ”wid our herbs n d leaves of dighloti, we drve away d files which disturb u, we hope u accept our offering of brinjal n gourds, n continue to grow every year n may u outgrow ur parents”

  7. n waha pr bht sare games v organise hoti h lyk kori khel, paakha khel n koni juj etc…

    n usdin sb log dinar k liye ”exho ebidh haak(এশ এবিঢ শাক)”[ 101 typs of vgtble]cllct krte h

  8. n d nxtn 1st day of vaisak month mrks manuh bihu.. uus din sob lg ma hldhi ki pste se spcl bth lti h n dey put on new cloths an light chaaki at gohai ghor(the household prayer place).. sb ko bihuwan or gamusa gify deti h

    n nxt day kutum bihu… is din sb apne rltvs ki ghr jate h n saath me dinnr krti h
    n ha jb bihu fstvl hoti h dn all woman make pitha n laru( traditional food made of rice n coconut
    n pure 7days logo ki ghor jakr dnce krti h only youngr ha)..

    • vaishnavi

      Ohhh….so it is celebrated like dis aa ok…….thank u so much di for telling me abt dis fest ….it really sounds very intresting….I think u people will enjoy a lot naa…..

  9. Joya

    Hello guysssssssss……
    How r u alllllll????????????????

    Dis is for sethooty

    Dil ke lutne ka sabab puchchho na sab k samane
    Naam aayega tumhara yeh kahani fir sahi……………

    Y????????
    Bataya q nahi…………..?????????
    Hajaron hisson me batkar bikhara gaya hai humara dil?????

    Bdw b ltd happpppppppy walaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bday………….

    Hey rups vaishu shraddha how r u guys???????????????????????

    Do u all know na who i m?????????????????
    Dnt dare to forget me shaitanooooooooooooooooo

    Shethoooty superb storyline my dear…..just read all parts……….beautiful……..

    • vaishnavi

      Hooo!! aap kaun hoo mujeh toh pata bhi nahi yeh ki aap kaun ho……shock gayi naa …..aur nahi toh kya joya di hum aapko kabhi bool sakteh hai kya …..aap aur hamari puri army ka toh special place hai hamare dil mai …isi liye hum kabhi nahi bool sakteh hai kisi ko……

      Vinitha di kaha chali gayi ho yaar?? Busy in studies aa?

  10. hey di.. whr r u? u knw mene aaj saba di ki ff pdha tha.. jab sanskar ne suiside kr liya dn me to shck gayi thi… aabhi v mere dimag me sirf wohi aaa rha hi.. bht hi emotnl tha na di.. ?????

  11. Vinita

    Hi everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After so many days i am being able to comment. Vini di u rocked it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Tarif ke liye words ki scarcity ho gayi hai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how are you????????????????????????????????
    Joya di ,vaishu howc were your exams??????? Shraddha di, rupsikha how are you????????????
    niti di, kriya di app log kaha lapata ho gaye ho???????????? Sethu di ,BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HOW ARE YOU????????? Aap toh chupa rustam nikli!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Not fair!!!!!! u did not inform about the ff!!!!!! What is the name of your ff???????
    Belated Happy birthday Divya!!!!!!
    Only sethu di and vaishu missed me!!!!!!!!! not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!! vinita udas ho gayi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    So let me tell my story…………..
    I was out of station. I went to north bengal,indo china border and the surrounding places. Waha par banut network problems tha. Internet chalu nehi ho rah tha and in the previous epi even the comment box vanished. raat mai my elder cousin bro always used to scare me by playing sounds of leopard and other wild animals from his phone. So many days I had to send without chatting with u all. Towards the end of the trip I wanted to shout,” I want internet ,i want swasan ff ssn 2 and that is possible after reaching kolkata , so, I want to go back to kolkata!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    So many festivals celebrated at the same time of the year!!!!!!!! Here we celebrate it as Poila Boisakh. Poila means first, and boisakh is the first month of the Bengali calendar ,so, Poila boisakh is Bengali new year. Navratri and ram navami is also celebrated here. Navratri has begun from today.Happy navratri!!!!!!!!!
    Rupsikha , u know bengali script is almost same as assamese script!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only 2 percent difference is there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Joya di u wanted to know about the competition. My bhabi came second and our entire family was shocked when she went up on the stage. After the competition both of us were behaving like mad persons because this was totally unexpected!!!!!!!!!! You were right regarding the connection between sethu di and those sarees.

  12. Vinita

    I guess mai thora zyada lamba comment type kar diya but i am feeling so happy after chatting with you all after so many days

    • sethooty

      Vinitha..u came ..thank god..miss u lot Dr..
      Joya ,shradha,mickey, vaishu.. Read ur comments under my fiction.. Thanks a lot love u….lil bcy with my work, today also an in office.. couldn’t reply u..sorry
      Vini informed she is going to Coimbatore for attending a friends marriage… Next epi will be on Thursday… Bye catch u later…

  13. Jayashree(Kakoli)

    Your ff is superb. It is excellent dear!!!!!!!!!!!!
    All the emotions are expressed so beautifully………
    Keep writing like this……..

    • Vinita

      Tumi Eto din por sheshmesh comment korle!!!!!? Bhagishhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
      Ami bhebe chilam tumi shotti shotti kailash e giye shonyas niye niyecho!!!!!!!!!???

  14. Vinita

    Joya di!!!!!! Congo!!!!!!!!! Pune jit Gaya!!!!!!!!!!
    Rahane rocked the match and Dhoni always rocks every match!!!!!!! Anhoni ko honi karde honi ko anhoni smart and captain cool Mahendra Singh Dhoni

    • sethooty

      Hey vinitha.. Jayashree is ur Aunty.. I remember her one comment on previous epi
      Happy to see u back..my fiction name is
      ‘Bz I loved her..sanskar’s love story ”
      Sorry couldn’t reply u properly….

    • Joya

      Hey vinita congratulation to u my dear…………….
      Thanks u guys…all of u…..

      Vinita do u like Mahi ??????????

  15. vaishnavi

    Hi didis …….wat happened to everyone y so silent?? …busy with xams haa…..joya di shraddha di vinitha di aaplogon ko holidays kabse hai??……seetu di will u also have holidays??……shikha di which xams u r having in may???

  16. Vinita

    Rupsikha how are you????
    Are you alright????
    Is everything ok there????
    Here the earthquake was tremendous!!

    • Joya

      Rups meri jaan……..
      Sorry dear………dekho joya di tumse kaan pakdkar sorry keh rahi hai……….
      Puchho na yar kya puchhna hai………

    • vaishnavi

      Ohh thank u di pls reply to our comments…..missed u so so so so much……I am desperatly waiting for u….yaar not only ur ff we also need u dear …I seriously missed u vvvvvvvvery much *teary eyes*…….nd ya seetu di told ur health is not nice how r u now???

    • Joya

      Di how r u???????
      Plz take care of ur self…………….
      Medicines time to time lena………..
      Most imp……keep smiling………………
      Get well sooon diiiiiii…………….

      Hey vaishu…..

      • vaishnavi

        Abb ye kounsi xams hai joya di kabhi suna bhi nahi…..aur tab tak aapko holidays nahi hai kya ooo very sad….

  17. Vinita

    Hi everyone!!!!! How are you?????
    VIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIII DI!!!! Get well soon. dawai thik time pe lena and do not take unnecessary stress. Take rest . MISSING U all so much!!!!! if u do not get well soon I will come to Bangalore with a very very very big injection!!(but I dont think that u are a scared of injection because u are a dentist but if u are scared then injection ke darr se jaldi thik ho jana and if you are not scared then hum sab ke liye jaldi thik ho jana)
    Joya diiiiiiii!!! I am a big fan of dhoni pata hai kyun????secret hai kisi ko mat bolna ssshhh!!1( acha khelta hai and our birthday is on the same day). I never supported KKHAAAR!! It has no bengali players !!!! Initally i supported Mumbai Indians, after Sachin tendulkar got retired then csk and now RPS. Everyone tells me to run away from kolkata but u knw uncommon things karna hi mera kaam hai!!! Mai kolkata mai bethe bethei pune ko support karungi!!

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