SWASAN; ONLY FOR YOU [EPI-85]
time flew away fast and swara is about to completed her seventh month and was in somewhere mid of her eighth month. everything was going well except that swara was getting highly pissed off due to shekhar and raglak’s visits which was once every month.
last month when they came then swara got highly angry and confined herself in the room because she saw shekhar with swayyam playing with him and caring for him. she didn’t like it a bit. moreover he was playing with him at the hour when she wanted to be with the kids. this annoyed and angered her to the core. that day she got a bit angry on swayyam too. sanskar asked her the reason later but swara did not say much and sanskar was confused as swara never scolds him the way she did. sanskar for once got angry on her too but then he controlled himself and thinking of swara’s condition did not tell anything. swara then asked sorry from swayyam and spent a full day with him to convince him and then let him forget the incident.
later when sanskar asked to swara about her scolding swayyam and her angry behaviour, which sanskar had somewhat clue was because of raglak and gadodia’s questioned swara. then swara opened up to him and told whatever she feels.
sanskar- swara please tell me truly what bothered you that you scolded swayyam that day and i only want the truth. you know you can share anything with me, i won’t mind it whether good or bad.
swara kept silent for sometime and sanskar thought like other times she would not say anything and was going to get up when swara held his hand. he sat back on his position. swara hugged him side ways and kept her head on his chest. sanskar wrapped his hand around her.
swara- [hesitatingly] sanskar you will understand me naa.
sanskar- swara i do understand you and i will. you just say me.
swara- sanskar i feel insecured.
sanskar- [parted and cupped her face] about what swara.
swara- sanskar [keeping her hands on his which are on her cheeks and lowering her eyes] i don’t like mr. gadodia mingling with ayush and swayyam. he visits here so frequently. in this way he will bond well with both of them. i know being father of ayush he has that right to come and visit him but what will happen when he will come to know the truth in future. will he live with us or chose mr. gadodia over us. i know a child has the right to get both mother’s and father’s love but in case of ayush i can’t accept mr. gadodia. i don’t trust him. moreover what abut maa. i know it will be selfish to think all this in my opinion but i can’t help it. from what i have seen and faced i have only seen him to take people’s side on basis of situation and not his trust.
swara- moreover swayyam going close to him….that hurts me. when i am nowhere in any relation with that man, i don’t want swayyam to get in any way close to him. he is our son and no one to mr. gadodia and that day when i saw him playing with him that annoyed me but i controlled myself but the reason i got angry was him referring mr. gadodia as nanu. he is not my father, i don’t accept him then he is also none to swayyam. i know i did wrong and i should not stop swayyam from being frank to people unless he overdoes it but….. i just don’t want him to be with mr. gadodia that’s it. i only had this thought in mind and so i……
sanskar didn’t know what to tell swara as he himself didn’t knew what he considers mr. gadodia in his life. for him he was swara’s baba but when he hurted her badly and distrusted them he too don’t knnow what should he regard him as. so being in dilemma sanskar just hugged swara and consoled her who was slightly sobbing.
there are some things in life which are extremely complicated to be handled or dealt with and some relations are at such conditions that we ourselves don’t know whether to accept or deny, whether to continue or move out and so was the condition of sanskar. but swara had no confusion over her relation with mr. gadodia. she was clear that he was no one to her but still with this clear picture she knew that he had a great impact on her and her family because he was still ayush father and a regular visitor to her house.
let’s see further what this relation takes up as in future.
so swara was in the mid of her eighth month and swara’s god bharai [baby shower] was done grandly. now it was time for next visit of raglak and shekhar. two days from now they are again going to visit them. and as soon as swara got the news she was not much happy but still faked her happiness. she somewhere felt a different feeling in her heart but ignored.
two days flew away and shekhar and raglak visited making swara’s mood off. they came and the first day of them being here passed anyhow with swara spending her maximum time in her room to avoid any kind of tension and awkward situation.
it was the next day of them and till breakfast everything was ok. sanskar went to office with uttmay and kids went to school. time passed and it was day time sanskar came back along with the kids and all have lunch. sanskar went back to office. in evening when he came back from office and entered the main door. he saw everyone in hall and some argument going on. the scenario shocked him and he rushed to hold swara who stumbled back in shock listening something.
sanskar rushed and held shocked swara. he himself was shocked to the core at some revelation. he composing himself looked at swara who was looking at front with still eyes.
sanskar- swara………. swara are you ok. swara. [sanskar was worried for her] so confused what happened. no problem let’s go in flashback to know what actually happened and what is the argument about.
in evening swara was searching for ayush and swayyam but they were nowhere to be found. she asked sumi who was in kitchen.
swara- maa where are the kids.
sumi- a while ago they were playing outside in the garden. must be there only.
swara came out but they weren’t there also. swara became worried to the core and started searching and told sumi too that they are not here. sumi searched upstairs but they were not found. both were highly worried.
swara- [tensed] maa where they must be. maa i am worried a lot. i should call sanskar.
she was about to pick up the landline to call sanskar when they heard sounds from outside. they both came out identifying the kids voice. both were relieved to see both ayush and swayyam safe and sound. they both rushed towards them and engulfed them in a hug.
swara- baby you ok naa.
swayyam- yes mumma. and see [showing him chocolates and a toy] mumma it is good naa.
swara- [confusedly] yaa but who gave you and where were you both.
just then shekhar entered the gate.
ayush- didi papa bought them to us. [said happily] swara looked at shekhar and her anger got triggered.
swara- both of you go to your rooms.
swayyam- mumma we will play for some time more. please mumma.
swara- [angrily] i said go to your room right now.
ayush and swayyam got scared seeing her speaking angrily.
shekhar- shona let them play for some more time. nothing will happen in some time.
swara showed her hands and dragged swayyam.
sumi- shona what are you doing.
swara- maa bring ayush in.
sumi sensing her anger took ayush inside following swara. ayush was scared but sumi was calm with him but swayyam was scared a lot as he never saw swara behaving with him like this for the first time. he was crying as swara was dragging him. swara came in kids room downstairs and left swayyam’s hand. sumi too came along with ayush.
sumi- shona what are you doing. this…
swara- swayyam ayush you both will be in this room until i call you out. sit here and study or play or do whatever you wish to but don’t step out of the room. understood.
both were scared and didn’t say anything. swara in anger didn’t realise what she was doing. she marched out and told sumi to come out. sumi came out confused and a bit angry on swara for her behaviour with swayyam.
swara locked the door from outside and came in hall.
sumi- shona stop. is this a way to behave with the kids. didn’t you saw swayyam how he was….
swara- mr. gadodia [swara told to shekhar who was shockingly looking at swara’s action till now, came in sense with her voice] with whose permission you took swayyam and ayush with you.
shekhar yet again got shocked hearing swara. he realised that he did not inform anyone at home before taking them. but then it was just some meters distance near to the toy shop that they went.
shekhar- [shocked and dumbfounded] beta i ….i… just took them..to..nearby shop. it was a…matter of few….minutes….so…i thought…..
swara- [interrupting] what you thought haan…. [spoke loudly] [held her belly as she felt little pain] ahhh…. [composing herself] you thought..
sumi- shona relax. it’s not good for you to shout in this condition and stress yourself. beta you sit down.
swara- no maa. i don’t want to be silent anymore. he visits here to meet ayush and i agree with it without saying a word but that doesn’t mean he would be doing anything.
raglak who came just a while ago saw the happenings from swara coming out of kids room and talking rudely to shekhar. they could not just stand seeing swara talking like this to shekhar so they came in and spoke in between to know the matter.
ragini- swara why are you talking like this to baba.
swara- ask your baba why i am talking to him like that. he took swayyam and ayush out without informing anyone. ask him what his intentions were.
ragini-swara behave yourself. this is not a way to talk to baba. and what happened if he took them out. arre he didn’t do anything wrong. for god sake swara stop over reacting.
swara- i am not over reacting ragini. i am saying the fact. ayush is here with the legal guardianship with maa. mr. gadodia visits here and we allow him that in no way means that he would be taking him out without informing us. does he have any idea that when we didn’t find them in home what we went through. a minute late, if he would have been a minute late then sanskar and police both would have been here by now.
swara- listen mr. gadodia behave yourself. if we allow you to meet ayush, it is because we want his happiness. that’s it but if you are going to be like this, so irresponsible then i warn you that i won’t think for a minute from restricting you to meet him and regarding ayush we will handle him. and if he would raise up without a father’s love, won’t matter him much as in either way he has to grow and face the bitterness of the world, so why not now.
ragini had enough of the insult from swara.
ragini- swara this is the limit. if you forgot then let me remind you that baba willingly gave ayush custody to maa and referring to the meetings if you wish then i can get legal permission for that too. tell me once and tomorrow the papers will be on your table. then i will also see how you will stop baba from meeting ayush.
swara- that you will surely do as you and him don’t want our happiness. whenever we need you you back off and now when we are happy in our world then it’s necessary for you all to intrude. and mr. gadodia what all you want to do more with us. say…speak up. we are ready to bear it.let’s finish it for once and for all.
sumi- shona now this is going over limit. stop all the nuisance now and go to your room. it’s not good for you to shout and stay like this.
swara- no maa i had have enough of all this. i don’t want more. bas bohut ho gaya. let me finish it.
swara- maa i don’t want to see their faces or live them anymore. the moment i see them i remember those painful days we went through. he who is my…no no who was my father never trusted me. he never took seconds to think before blaming us. when i see him i remember your face each time he bashed you with his distrust and words. he left u and me whenever we needed him the most. he was never with us. mistake done once or twice is forgivable but which is done repeatedly is not a mistake and the relations in which trusts breaks repeatedly is never a relation.
swara- [breathing heavily due to continuous speaking and tears rolling down her cheeks] may be now you may feel that i am over-reacting for you all but what i am saying is the bitter truth of our life maa.
swara- [turning to ragini] you said i am saying over limits right and should behave myself. then tell me where the hell did your behaviour, respect and care, your so called limits went when you never thought for once before breaking my trust each and plotting against me. leaving it as it was past but when i forgave you for everything, doing so much for you then where was your trust when everyone blamed us. i always stood by you supported you to stand back even if you were wrong then where was your limits when you spoke ill about sanskar.
laksh- swara stop it. that’s all past and it’s better we forget it and move on. forgive us for what we did. we accept we were wrong but please stop all these. and regarding baba please don’t speak to him like this.
swara- i don’t wanna forget. what will you do. i will never forget and forgive you all for what you did with maa and sanskar, with all of us. i don’t want to see you all especially you mr. gadodia.
shekhar- [blank face and feeble voice] do you hate me so much that you don’t wanna see my face.
swara- [hearing him] yes i do. i don’t want you around me.now is that clear to you. [a tear escaped shekhar’s eye but he controlled himself from crying] ragini- [angry at her tone] swara enough is enough. you don’t want to see his face naa then you will never in some days or months. baba let’s go from here.
swara- what do you mean by that. are you planning of something. will you tae ayush from here. if so then listen carefully that i won’t let you do so. he will be with us forever. i won’t let him go away from us and that to mr. gadodia.
ragini- [burst out] KEEP AYUSH WITH YOU AS HE IS GOING TO BE WITH YOU ALL ULTIMATELY. WHEN BABA WILL DIE KEEP HIM. NO ONE WILL DISTURB YOU, COME TO MEET HIM. HAPPY. YOU WANT THIS ONLY NAA. THEN IT WILL SURELY HAPPEN. YOU WILL NEVER SEE HIS FACE IN FUTURE. NO ONE WILL SEE HIM. HAPPY ARE YOU?
ragini was in tears while laksh and shekhar got shocked on what ragini spoke and others were blank as to what did she want to say.
swara- d….di..e means….what do you mean by saying all this.
laksh- nothing she spoke everything in anger[avoided loking at them]. hai naa baba.
laksh- ragini come.
ragini- sshe should also k…
laksh- come ragini.
swara- tell what you wanna say.
swara- as always you all never dare to say and face truth.
ragini- [looking straight in her eyes] you want to know the truth] swara- yes.
ragini- [avoiding them] you never want to see baba’s face so your wish is granted by god. you will never be able to see him and for that you need to wait for just few days or can say a few months.
swara- what do you mean. say clearly.
ragini- he is suffering from CANCER. he has very less time with him. you no need to worry about him disturbing you in future.
sumi sat on the sofa with thud and swara stumbled back with the realisation when sanskar who was standing at the door step came to hold swara.
sanskar shook swara a little who was standing like a statue in shock.
sanskar- swara… [she fainted] all got worried for her. sanskar picked her in his arms and led her in room and called nikita ji. sumi was sitting on the sofa still being shocked. shekhar was standing at his place with no emotions. raglak went behind swasan to see swara.
let’s see what happens next.
next episode by tomorrow.