SWASAN: ONLY FOR YOU [EPI-30]
sanskar- love you too
swara- [painful voice] aahhhhhhhhhhh.
she kept hand on her belly due to pain.
sanskar- [worried] swara what happened.
swara- sanskar sweet pain.
sanskar- pain where?
swara- [smiling tearfully with happiness] sanskar i felt the baby. baby kicked sanskar.
sanskar- [happy shocked] did the baby really kick? did you feel the baby.
swara- yes sanskar.
sanskar- [happily and curiously] swara i also want to feel our baby.
sanskar kept hands on swara’s belly but could not feel any movement. he gets disappointed.
swara- sanskar it’s ok when baby will show any movements again i will tell you.
swara- don’t get disappointed. please.
sanskar- i am not disappointed. either you feel or i feel the baby doesn’t matter. i am happy in any way. love you.
swara- [happily] sanskar baby kicked again.
sanskar again kept his hand on her belly but again felt no movements. he was about to remove his hand when swara held it.
swara- sanskar baby kicks when you, when you say you love me. once say it again may be you can feel the baby.
sanskar- [became happy] i love you
sanskar’s eyes sparked feeling the movement. he immediately hugged swara and tears brimmed his eyes.
sanskar- [hugging her] swara i felt the baby. i felt the movement. i am so happy. love you, love you lots.
swara- aahhhhh sanskar [sanskar broke the hug] don’t say it continuously. i feel good to feel the baby but it pains too.
sanskar- sorry love
swara kept her hand on his mouth stopping him.
swara- i know you love me. [sanskar made sorry expression] i understand. [removed hands from sanskar’s mouth] i love you too.
sanskar- [smiles] baby reacts to your i love you also. [swara smiled too]
sanskar bent and kissed on her belly.
sanskar- love you too baby.
swara- aahhh sanskar please.
sanskar- sorry swara. [to baby] baby don’t kick so much mumma feels pain. i think you are understanding our talks. if so then listen carefully. papa is eagerly waiting for you to come out. i want to take you in my arms.
sanskar again kissed on her belly and keeping his one hand on her belly he hugged her. swara kept her hand over his and reciprocated him.
sanskar- [parting away] now come have fruits and then we will go down.
swasan were very happy and they told everyone about baby kicking for the first time. all became happy.
sanskar- swara are you ready.
swara- yes sanskar but where are we going.
sanskar- come you will know.
sanskar held swara and supported her when she walked. he drove her to office.
swara- sanskar why we came to your office? asked swara in confusion.
sanskar- swara why do you question so much. wait you will get to know.
they walked in while sanskar held her all the while although swara protested. the office staff was seeing them with confused and shocked faces as sanskar never came to office with a girl and he is never seen close to any girl. only few who knew them were normal.
sanskar- [addressing the staff in bossy tone] everyone i want you all to meet her my wife SWARA SANSKAR. i guess you all never met her but today i want you all to know that she is my wife and soon to be mother of our child. and here after i hope nisha [the girl who took file from swara the other day] you don’t take away files from her hand and when she comes let her in my cabin.
swara was standing shocked and nisha was nervous and scared.
nisha- sorry sir i didn’t knew that she is your wife. sorry mam
swara- no response.
nisha- maam i really am sorry for my behaviour the other day.
swara- no response.
sanskar shook swara— swara what happened.
swara- haan haan what happened.
sanskar- she is asking sorry to you.
swara- [looking at nisha] its ok you were doing your work.
sanskar took swara to his cabin.
swara- sanskar what was all that.
sanskar- [furrowing his eyebrows] what?
swara- that announcement was ok but why you told that girl ummm nisha to ask me sorry.
sanskar-[raising his eyebrows] i didn’t but that was better of her to ask sorry from you as what your condition was yesterday was due to her to. if she would have informed to me that you came to give me files then i would have met you earlier. it was my fault more but was hers too. i can’t bear tears in your eyes and seeing you in that condition yesterday ached me, so this introduction was important that next time they inform me and talk to you nicely.
swara hugged him and so did he.
the day passed. few days later in midnight around 2:00 a.m.
sanskar was extending his hand to hold swara in sleep but he doesn’t find anyone. he opened his eyes and saw swara was not there. he panicked and got up. he checked in washroom but she was not there also. he got tensed. he searched in the whole house but couldn’t find her. he knocked sumi’s room and enquired her but she didn’t knew and same was uttara’s answer. they were thinking where must she be.
sanskar- maa where must she be. what to do now.
uttara- bhai you call tanmay till then i will check the house once more.
sanskar called tanmay and called him to his house while uttara checked the whole house.
tanmay entered the gate and saw something and called sanskar out in the lawn. sanskar came out and tanmay pointed out in a direction. all saw in that direction and were relieved to see swara sitting on the swing and eating pickles. sanskar came towards her and called her name.
swara was startled by the sudden voice and the bowl fell from her hand. she looked at sanskar and then at the fallen bowl and slowly stood up. sanskar hugged her. he was quite afraid when he did not find her, he felt as if he lost himself. he was washing all his fear that occured in his heart by embracing her.
sanskar broke the hug feeling his t-shirt wet. swara was crying.
she cried more and sanskar made her to sit back on the swing and knelt down in front of her.
sanskar- [cupped her face] swara why are you crying and what are you doing here at this time.
swara- [cried more making him tensed] sanskar the bowl fell.
sanskar- you are crying for this. [unbelievable look]
swara- [crying] no i wanted to eat the pickles but it fell because you suddenly called for me and i got scared.
sanskar- i am sorry. now stop crying and what are you doing here. you could eat inside also.
swara- i wanted to eat gol gappa but all of you were sleeping. so i thought to eat pickles and came outside that i will feel better but the bowl fell.
sanskar- you came out without informing anyone of us. do you know how worried we were.
swara cried even more making sanskar worried as well as angry.
sanskar- swara stop crying. [he stood up] how can you act so careless and now you are crying. [he was scolding her]
swara cried silently and without looking at sanskar stood up. sanskar forwarded his hand to her to hold but she jerked his hand making him shocked and started moving from there.
soon he came out of shock and came in front of swara.
sanskar- swara i am sorry to scold you but i was really tensed not finding you in home.
swara- [tauntingly while sobbing] don’t be sorry and worried as you will get more chances to scold me. you can scold me to your fullest that time.
everyone was shocked by swara’s response but could get what is happening. sanskar felt as if someone stabbed him.
sanskar- swara don’t say like that. i am really sorry.
swara walked past him and directly came to her room without speaking anything to sanskar and lye down on bed.
sanskar stood numb there feeling as if lost something. sumi came to him and kept hand on his shoulder. sanskar looked at sumi controlling his tears.
sumi- sanskar don’t worry she is just upset. swara’s reaction was due to her pregnancy. during pregnancy woman wants to eat different things and often at late nights will feel like to have something. that was the case with swara too. she is in her sixth month and these cravings are quite normal. she might not feel to disturb us that’s why she was here.
sanskar nodded understandingly and thanked tanmay to come late at night just by a call. sanskar thought something and sometime later he entered their room with a tray.
he kept the tray on the table and sat beside swara. he thought that she is pretending to sleep so
sanskar- [gently stroking her hairs] swara see what i brought for you.
swara did not move. he tried once again and when there was no response he realised that she is actually fast asleep.
he was disappointed that he couldn’t talk to swara and laid on his side kissing on her forehead.
sanskar- [keeping hands on her belly] baby papa made you and mumma upset. i am so sorry.please you don’t be angry on me and help me out to convince your mumma tomorrow. you know naa papa can’t handle if your mumma is upset or angry on me. you and your mumma are my everything. for now good night.
he kissed on her belly.
next day morning. sunrays fell on swasan and swara woke up first. she saw sanskar sleeping peacefully keeping his hand on her belly and a cute smile came on her lips which soon faded away remembering the scoldings last night. she removed his hand and moved to washroom.
after some time swara came out of washroom drying her hairs and her eyes fell on the tray. she removed the covering plate and saw gol gappa [pani puri] and was surprised.
swara- who brought this here.
she looks at sanskar and remembered that she told him last night about her desire for eating gol gappa while explaining that why was she outside.
she got ready and went down and behaved normally with others. when sanskar came down she did not look at him even. she completely ignored him and this made sanskar upset. he tried talking with her but she didn’t gave a chance. he was quite upset and went to office.
in evening when he came home he again tried a lot to talk to swara but swara either talked to sumi or uttara and when tanmay came she talked with him and went to bed early leaving sanskar sad and a bit shaken as he was feeling that he has lost himself. he too went to bed and slept hugging her lightly. tears escaped his eyes which he wiped and slept looking at swara in his embrace. that was the place which gives him relief.
clock struck 12:00 a.m. and sanskar woke up due to a loud sound and became tensed not finding swara in the room. he hurriedly came out of room and came to hall and just became blank on seeing the decoration when the lights switched on.
swauttmay, rashika, sumi, rishita – happy birthday to you, happy birthday to sanskar/bhai/sanskar, happy birthday to you.
sanskar did not say anything and stood at his place shocked.
swara came forward- happy birthday sanskar. aahhhhh
sumi- what happened shona
swara- [smiled] nothing maa. i think baby is wishing his papa by kicking. nowdays it’s quite frequent that baby kicks when agrees to something or does not like something.
sanskar- [coming to sense] haaan
swara- happy birthday. [excited] come cut the cake.
swara held his hand and dragged him to the table decorated beautifully with a cake in the middle. tanmay rashika and rishita wished him.
uttara hugged sanskar greeting him and handed him a knife to cut the cake.
sanskar cut the cake without any emotion and fed first bite to swara and they had an eyeock. sanskar broke the eyelock and fed others.
everyone sat for sometime chatting and sanskar’s concentration was on swara only. only her thoughts were revolving around his mind. he instantly got up and hugged swara shocking her as well as others.
sanskar- i am sorry [this came out as mumble from his mouth near her ears]
he parted and walked out from there in the lawn. everyone was so shocked to react and swara was shocked and stood like statue by this act of sanskar which confused her as well as she could feel the pain in his voice.
uttara- [keeping hands on swara’s shoulder] bhabhi what happened to bhai suddenly.
swara- [coming to sense] don’t know.
swara too came out and saw him standing in lawn. he was ruffling his hairs with right hand and had closed his eyes. she moved towards him and stood beside him.
all others too came out and stood at some distance from them.
swara- [concerned] sanskar what’s bothering you.
sanskar- [looked at swara standing beside him and then looked straight] nothing.
swara- [demanding tone] i want to know the reason of your act inside.
sanskar- i….i…[couldn’t complete]
swara- [turning him towards her] can’t you share what’s going on in your mind right now with me. i hope i am not a stranger to you.
sanskar- swara [cupping her face] why are you saying like that.
swara- [furious and removed his hand from her face] what should i do then. why are you so hesitant when it comes to share your feelings with me. you easily say me that how muck you love me but since last one year you have been hiding your feelings from me. why can’t you share your pain with me.
sanskar- swara it’s not like that. accha i will tell. you were not talking to me since morning and even though after so much trials i could not convince you so i felt that i hurt you deeply and i felt bad about it and also i felt scared to lose you. it was vulnerable to see you avoiding me and felt like i lost everything. [sanskar was by now in tears and hugged her]
swara remained silent for two minutes and then spoke.
swara- leave me.
sanskar and others were shocked and sanskar moved apart still holding her.
swara- i said leave me. i am done with you and i don’t want you anymore.
sanskar was shocked.—- swara what are you saying. are you joking around me at this time.
swara- i am not joking mr sanskar. you heard it absolutely right. i am done with you. i am not going to live with you, so just leave me.
sumi and uttara came to swasan . uttara stood beside sanskar.
sumi- swara what are you speaking.
swara- what you all are listening that only. i don’t want to live this man standing in front of us because he is not our sanskar, he is not my sanskar maa. he is someone else in disguise of our sanskar.
sumi- what nonsense are you blabbering swara.
swara- this is not nonsense maa. you see this man. he is scared each and every minute and he only says that he forgot everything but still he is living in his past. he is not our sanskar because our sanskar always knew to move on, to get things at right place. our sanskar was never broken. he had the guts to face situation and he never knew how to be broken and get caged when you are hurt but instead this man is living only with the fear of loosing since these 1 year. first he took six months to come out of his grief and now he started to be normal but he isn’t. sanskar why don’t you understand that we can’t live like this.
swara- what happened in past why can’t you forget it. you have not alone suffered from it, we all have gone through that phase of life. today i thought to surprise you but you are behaving like god gave all the pain to you all alone. now listen to me. i am back to the old swara and i am not going to tolerate all this. do you understand. i want my old sanskar back. today is your birthday and i want the sanskar whom i loved back. till now i have been thinking how to soothe you but not anymore. come to me when you are out of your fear and stupid sorrows of yours which are going to give you nothing and back to confident and daring sanskar. and i warn you before itself come prepared to tolerate my tantrums and lectures. for now good bye and good night.
swara moved from there and told rashika and rishita to stay back as it’s late night and they agreed. swara came to their room and slept.
here in lawn sanskar was standing still recalling swara’s words.
sumi- sanskar are you ……..[interrupted]
sanskar- maa have i really changed.
sumi- keep your hand on your heart and ask yourself. you will get to know. and my opinion is that swara is right. you need to live a free and happy life. past is gone and what you have in your hand is your present and future. so think over and you will know what to do. for now come inside.
sanskar- maa you go i will be here for sometime.
they all went in and sanskar drifted in deep thoughts and concluded that swara is right. he has always felt insecured with the thought of losing someone again which has prevented him to enjoy his life. in a way swara too changed for him from the one to guide and fight back for the right thing to a wife who silently supported him without any demand.
inside rashika was with uttara in her room and rishita were in guest room.
rashika asked about their past but uttara ignored it. rashika being stubborn emotionally blackmailed her and got to know about the past.
done with this part.
precap- pakka no more drragging swara god bharai and labour pain.