Hey friends, I have decided to extend this a little bit. I guess little over 50 episodes. Hopefully you will bear me and Swasan !
I couldn’t believe that he was leaving. He was leaving in less than 24 hours and he cared to tell me now?! Why was I so upset and angry and frustrated? Just because he was leaving? I don’t think that was it.
Everything was so blo*dy complicated in my life. I didn’t remember a thing from my past, and when Sanskar said he’d be here and help me out, I got a ray of hope. I knew I wasn’t alone… But now he was leaving.
I barged into my room and slammed the door shut. I was angry would be an understatement because I was practically fuming from inside. Physically, I felt like I could demolish a whole tank. But mentally, I was drained. I had no energy to deal with things anymore.
That night, I screamed, I cried, I threw things, and even broke some of them. But in the end, it all failed to calm me down.
Dry eyes, with absolutely no tears, no fear and no feelings, I sat in the window, all night long. The sun was rising on the horizon, but it was still all dark in my life. To sum up my life in short – it was miserable. Because nobody understood me and my feelings. Not even him.
7:00 am, and I thought about him. He must be leaving. Or maybe he has already left. . . It didn’t matter, how much I tried, all I thought about the whole night was Sanskar. He wasn’t there when I needed him the most. . .
Sanskar’s pov ~~
I was completely torn between being with the person I love, and chasing my father’s dream and making him proud.
‘Use your anger for good things. Challenge yourself and see what wonders you do…’ Swara had once when I was playing soccer for my school team. I could never forget those words. She, who once encouraged me to follow my dreams, was now holding me back.
I didn’t even realize that Laksh was sitting beside me all this time.
“You okay, Sanskar?” He asked. I just nodded. To be honest, I was quite frustrated with whatever shit that was happening in my life, at the moment. I wanted to break anyone, who tried to talk to me, but I didn’t have the strength to do so. I was tired of everything.
“Look, I don’t think, I need to say this again, but please, just take care of yourself. This is a big deal for our company and everyone has big hopes from you. Don’t let them and your father down.” He said. I smiled, thanking him for being such a good friend.
“I won’t. Dad’s dream has always been my dream. And I would never leave it for anything or anyone.” I said.
He nodded. “Are you upset with Swara? Because if you are, I think you should think from her point of view as well. I mean, she’s going through so much, and promised her you’d be there for her. Maybe you leaving suddenly, is disturbing her.”
“I know and I accept that it was my fault. I should’ve told her about the trip in advance, but I don’t know how it just slipped from my mind. And I’m not upset with her. I’m just worried about her. I don’t want her to do anything reckless, while I’m away.” I said.
“She won’t do that; and she’s not alone. We all are there for her. Most importantly, you are there for her. I’m sure she’ll forgive you when we come back.”
I sighed. “I hope so… Its funny how life changes… I mean a few weeks ago we were so happy. By this time we should’ve been engaged. But look how everything has turned out to be.”
“Life is like that. Every obstacle is a choice made by God. He chooses the path for us. All we have to do is keep going and never lose hope. Because if we are strong enough, we can change our destiny.” He said.
Destiny… It rung bells. I could really change it and I will change it. For her. For us.
Screw everything. Screw my life… I stood amidst the broken glass pieces, scattered sheets of paper, clothes, albums and God knows what all crap.
I had decided that I wasn’t going to cry over him. He, who’s responsible for all this. He, who made a promise and broke it. He, who gave me false hopes…
But not anymore. ‘Its over…’ I thought, as my eyes fell on an old photograph. I could see myself in it..along with someone else. It was Sanskar.
I picked up the photograph, which looked like it was clicked long back, we both were wearing school uniforms in it. We were probably 16 or something. It was him kissing my cheek, in the photograph.
Sadly, I didn’t remember anything about that day. But in a way, now, I was glad that I didn’t remember anything. It would’ve only brought back more tears.
“No more tears. No more wasting time on somebody, who doesn’t care. You’re alone and happy.” I said to myself and tore the photograph into pieces.
Half of the day I had spent in collecting all the old photographs of us…, diaries and what all stuff. I just dumped them in a bag without even giving them a second look and carried them out of house, where they belonged.
Dumping ground – that’s where I stood with a bag full of memories. I would be lying if I say that I didnt care. Because I did. A part of me ached to throw these memories away, but in order to move on, I had to do it.
I was walking back home with a heavy heart. As I was almost close to reaching home, I happened to bump into someone. I didn’t really know, who he was, but he knew me very well, I guess.
“Swara! What a pleasant surprise!” He exclaimed. He was medium height, well built, and quite good-looking. I wondered whether I had seen him somewhere, but I hadn’t.
“I’m sorry, do I know you?” I asked, trying not to be rude.
He suddenly seemed to realize something as his mouth formed an O shape.
“Oh! I’m sorry…I’m Ishaan.” He said, extending his hand.
“I still don’t remember, um..still nice to meet you.” I said.
“Don’t be so formal yaar. I know what happened and I’m really sorry about it. I wish I was here to help you out at that time.” He said.
“Don’t be sorry. It had to happen.”
He nodded. “Hmm..and hey, if you need help with anything, feel free to ask me, alright?”
I smiled. He seemed to be quite genuine.
“Thanks. But I don’t think I need help. I’m good.” I said.
He seemed to process something in his mind for a moment and then finally spoke up.
“I get it. Why would you want help from me when you’ve Sanskar. It’s okay. I understand. I’m glad he’s there though.”
And that’s when it all came back, he mentioned Sanskar and it was enough to take me back to the depressing reality.
“Since you know him, I’m quite surprised you didn’t know the fact that we kinda…broke up.” I said, uncomfortably.
Ishaan, on the other side, didnt look shocked. Like, he looked…happy, I guess. But anyway, what it is to me?
“W-why would you break up? Did he cheat on you or something?” He asked.
“What?! No, ofcourse not! He didn’t, he just… I don’t know. He made a promise and broke it. I can’t really be with someone who doesn’t stick to his words.” I said and I had no clue why the hell was I sharing my life’s problems with this Ishaan guy. I barely knew him. . .
He seemed to understand whatever I said, though.
“I’m sorry for everything, Swara. I can see that you’re not happy. I mean, I should’ve met you way back and told you everything, but I was busy with work and stuff…” He said hesitating a bit.
What does he mean by ‘tell me everything’? What secrets did my past life have?
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, asking him to enlighten me. He looked at me for a moment, and finally spoke up.
“Swara, before your accident, around two years ago, we were dating…” He said.
Okay, I guess, that isn’t much shocking. . .
“I know it’s kinda awkward right now, but that’s the truth. Yes, you and Sanskar were childhood sweethearts and you were close enough. But when you left him three years back, you came to London. That’s where we met and gradually started dating…” He proceeded.
I guess I needed to know about this ‘leaving Sanskar and dating Ishaan’ part as well. Why wouldn’t Sanskar or anybody tell me about it?!
“But when we both came to India, he came back into your life. I tried to keep him away from you, because I knew, he didn’t love you, but he had his hooks so deep in you, that I just failed. You ended up with him instead of me. But all I wanted to say is that he didn’t love you… He still doesn’t. I pretended to be happy about your engagement, only because I thought you were happy with him. You needed to know I guess… I mean, he has like even cheated on you before.” Ishaan added.
I was shocked. Nobody told me about this. Not Sanskar…not anybody else. At least my family should’ve told me about this, but I heard it from a stranger who was probably my ex-boyfriend.
“He cheated? I don’t believe that…” I said. I guess I didn’t believe that 99%, but there’s always a 1% doubt.
The way Sanskar looked at me every time, the way he said me…he loved me…it wasn’t fake. He may have broken his promise, but I didn’t think that his love was so fake and false.
“You never did. And I guess that’s why you guys were together for so long. But he was never loyal.” He said.
I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I had no reason for not believing Ishaan. Why would he lie to me? What would he get from that?
What was done, was done for me. The Sanskar Maheshwari chapter was over…forever. I had to find happiness, I had to move on.
Ishaan was still looking at me, like he was waiting for me to say something. And that’s when I had made my choice. . .
“Would you like to join me for a coffee?” I asked, covering up everything with a smile. He smiled back, and nodded as we walked to a nearby coffee shop. . .
Table turners? Ishaan messing with Swara’s head. Well, he has kinda invited his own future funeral though… I hope you get it ?
Next update : A changed Swara.