Swasan : Destiny (Episode 41)

I guess..um.. I’m making you all bored with my fanfics. That’s how I feel these days. I’m sorry if I am because I don’t get much time to write since my school has already reopened. So I’ve to write everything within an hour or so. Yeah, I write both the things in an hour so ignore the typos and stuff. And do support like you always do.

And this a long update . .because fix you has a small update this time. . .

~~Breakdowns and Storms ~~

Swara’s pov~~

Two weeks. It had been almost two weeks since the terrible incident. Everyone was moving on in life, trying to take out time for family as well as work. Everyone was busy with their own thing and here was I – trying to put my life back together. Trying to remember things.

I didn’t see or meet Sanskar since that night. It looked like he just…disappeared. He said he would stay away from me if I say so. But I don’t think I said anything like that. Did I want him to stay away?

Accept it or not, I was pretty sure that we did have something before. That night everybody at the party seemed familiar to me, but him… I felt like I had a deep connection with him. It was pretty hard to digest the fact that we were almost engaged but somewhere I was glad, I came to know about it.

Currently I sat in the room with a bunch of papers scattered on my desk. I kept playing with my table lamp, switching it on and off continuously. The rest of the room was dark and it was raining outside. I wanted to remember the old myself, but I guess, that was only giving me more stress. My wounds had healed completely, but whenever I tried to remember stuff, a sharp pain was felt in the back od my head.

As I sat there stating into the dark and playing with the light switch, a sudden thought popped into my mind.
‘Call me whenever you need anything…’ He’d said. Yes, I was thinking about Sanskar and what he had said the other night.
‘Maybe he can help me out of this?’ I thought. I mean he said we knew each other since primary school, so who would know me better than him?

I got up to head to mom’s room to ask for Sanskar’s room. I was sure she must be having it, but then I stopped. Do I have his number?

I grabbed my phone from the desk. The phone which I had hardly used since the accident. I unlocked it and went straightway to contact list.
S-A-N-S-K-A-R…. I typed and his name flashed on the screen.
Sanskar <3<3 <3
'I loved him so much?' I wondered. But I was also a bit relieved I had his number. I pressed the contact number and with trembling hands dialled his number. I didn't know whether this was the right thing to do or not, but I had to talk to him in order to feel better.

To my surprise, he picked up at the third ring itself.
"Hello?" I heard his voice and froze.

What to say now? What is he going to think about me if I ask him about coming over? I didn't even talk to him these two weeks, and now I'm being selfish because I need his help…

"Hello? Swara? Are you there?" He asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts. Face it, Swara.

"Uh….hi." I said.

"Hi. What's up? Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Oh yeah..um…everything's cool! It just um..just a beautiful sunny day!" I said, nervously and immediately regretted it. Shut up, shut up, shut up! Swara! What are you saying?!

There was a long pause. Did he hang up?

"Well yeah… It's a beautiful day but its definitely not sunny…" He said. Thank God.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah it's not sunny." I said in a defeated tone. I just didn't know how to ask for help to somebody I had met just once…

He laughed a little.
"Okay okay. What do you want?" He asked. He knew me so well.

I sighed. "Well I was just trying to figure out everything, you know? But unfortunately I don't remember anything… So I thought maybe you could help?"

"Maybe? Ofcourse I'll help. Don't worry. I'll come over in around twenty minutes." He said as shuffling was heard behind.

"Uh…it's pouring outside. Don't drive now…it's dangerous." I said.

"Don't worry about that. I'm used to it. Chal, I gotta go. I'll be there, okay. Bye." He said and hung up.

Phew! I sighed, knowing that it was over and hated myself for being so stupid in front of him. I mean, seriously? Sunny day? It was dark outside with thundering and lightning. Silly me!

Not more than twenty minutes had passed and the doorbell rang. I opened the door only to see Sanskar a little drenched.

"I told you not to drive in the storm. Come in!" I said leading him inside.

Knowing that he would be cold, because of driving all the way to my house, I had already prepared hot chocolate for him. That was at least I could do for him – be a good friend!

"Hey, drink it. Or else you are gonna catch cold." I said handing him the mug of hot chocolate.

He gave me a blank look for a second or so and gladly took it.

I smiled as we went upstairs to my room.

We walked inside and it was pitch black. Except for the little table lamp which lit the desk. I switched on the lights only to see the messed up room again. Clothes scattered on the floor, papers lying on the desk, a few photo albums lying here and there,and all crap. Awkwardly, I stood at the door, not knowing how to explain the reason behind the mess. He must've been thinking how much of a mess I am…

"I'm sorry, I forgot to clean up. Don't mind the mess." I said nervously, grabbing a few clothes and dumping them inside the cupboard. He nodded.

"It's okay. It's still better than my room." He said as I made some room for him to sit. As he sat down, I can't explain what I felt at that moment. There was silence. Nobody spoke, but that silence was comforting as well as awkward. I know I sound pathetic; but that's how I felt. . .

"So what do you want to know?" He asked breaking the ice between us.

"Everything. Like what did I do? What were my hobbies, etc, etc…"I said. He nodded understanding.

"Hobbies…well you liked listening to music and painting. I still remember a day around a few months ago when you said you wanted to do some fun and by fun, I thought we'd be playing videogames or watching movies, but you just dragged me to some art gallery and we spent almost three hours there." He said and laughed at the last part. Did I really do that? I also laughed along, as I got more comfortable. When he told about that day, I felt like I wanted to know more. I wanted to know more about us, I guess.

"I'm sure it must have been a funny day. What else did we do?" I asked. He smiled like he had been expecting me to ask that question since forever.

"A lot of things! It's hard to remember one day with you which wasn't eventful. I still remember that day when we went to watch an IPL match and whenever your KKR hit a six or took a wicket, you got up and started dancing then and there itself!" He said and this time laughed out loud, remembering the incident. I laughed too, at how embarrassing it must've been! I just wished I could remember that day like he did.

He told me alot about the funny and embarrassing moment we had. I almost died laughing when he explained me everything. Like when he told me about the day when we had spent in the amusement park, and how scared I was to go on a roller coaster. That was just hilarious!

Soon the laughter died down and slowly I felt tears forming in my eyes. I wish I could remember everything. I wish I knew about my old life, about every person in my life. Not wanting to be noticed, I wiped the tears with my sleeve, before they could fall down. But unfortunately I was noticed, and in the next moment, Sanskar was sitting beside me.

I don't know what got into me but I just wanted to be held. I wanted someone to tell that it's all going to be okay and then, as if God had heard my prayers, I felt two strong arms wrapping me in a warm and comfortable hug.

"Hey, shh…it's okay, baby. Dont cry. Everything's gonna be okay. I promise." He said rocking me back and forth.

"I feel so…alone. Like you remember everything we did, everywhere we went, but when I try to remember… It's all gone! There's nothing…" I said holding onto him tighter. I felt so safe and protected. Like this was where I belonged…

"I know, jaan. But I also know you're strong. You're my brave girl, alright. And you're gonna fight through this. And remember one thing…you're not alone. Even if I'm not with you, I'll always be by your side. No matter what…" He said. His words just melted my heart instantly.

How can somebody love someone so much? Specially when they know they're forgotten… … Only destiny can play such games. . .

I nodded and cried into his chest for the next few minutes. I felt good to be in his arms, but I also felt bad for him. I knew the smile he had put on was just a show off. I knew he wasn't happy with the way things were turning out to be. He was sad and the reason behind his sadness was ME.

I slowly, let him go, breaking the hug.
"Don't cry baby girl. Be strong. I know you are and I do have faith in you. This is just a bad patch in our lives…you know like these dark rainy days. But soon it's gonna fade away. There will be light and we are gonna find a way through dark. All we have to do, is not lose hope." He said wiping my face. I muttered a thank you and he smiled in return.

After the big breakdown, we headed towards the living area and sat on the couch watching some boring film, when all of a sudden, the TV switched off. It was all pitch black around us and it didn't take time for us to realize that there was a blackout.

Great… Just great…

"I hate blackouts!" I heard Sanskar say. He was sitting right beside me and I could feel him shuffling and changing positions continuously like he was really restless.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Uh…yeah… I guess…" He said in a barely audible voice. Even though I could see him only a little in the dark, I looked at him suspiciously, while he sat with his eyes closed. He was saying something to himself, which I couldn't properly hear.

Wait… Is he afraid of dark?

As soon as that thought popped in my mind, I couldn't help but let out a light chuckle. He was afraid of the dark! Isn't it a great opportunity to do something naughty? Don't get me wrong, but by naughty I mean scaring him, it won't be that dangerous, would it be?

"Sanskar, you stay here… I'll get the candles." I said getting up.

"No, Swara…Wait!…I…" But before he could proceed I headed to Mom's room where candles were kept.

'Time for some fun…' I thought and smirked. I grabbed the candles and lit them up. One in each hand and I brought my hair on my face so that it was covered, completely.

Controlling my laughter, I made my way slowly towards the living room. Sanskar was still sitting on the couch. Slowly and steadily I walked in front of him, and brought candles in front of my face. He, who was looking down at the floor, looked up, and his eyes widened like they were about to pop out.

"S-Swara. Where are you?" He spoke in a barely audible voice. I pursed my lips and bent down to keep one candle on the table. Then I sat down in front of him. His face was just inches away from mine…and the look on his face was just priceless!

Good job Swara, time to add some more fun…

"Swara's dead. You're next." I said in a completely different voice. His eyes almost came out of his eye sockets and he had a terrified look on his face.

'That's enough.' I thought. I definitely didn't want him to pass out or anything.

Before he could react to what I said, I burst out laughing.

"Oh God! Oh God! That was freaking awesome! Shit! Look at your face. Oh my God!!" I exclaimed, clutching my stomach as I almost died laughing. He had this really confused and annoyed look on his face.

"What the –?? You're so mean!! This is no way to prank anybody." He huffed throwing a pillow at my face. I continued laughing.

"Awww! Someone's angry? Sorry!" I said in between laughs.

"I almost had a heart attack! Don't do that ever again." He said, dead serious this time. I could only nod, but still couldn't forget his face, when I pranked him. Soon he too joined me, and was laughing at how embarrassing he felt.

Being with him, laughing, having fun even on this dark and depressing rainy day… I felt alive. I felt like this life, which I was living, was one more chance I had gotten. One more opportunity which knocked my door. I guess it didn't matter me…our relationship before this. What mattered was the present, and in this present, I knew I was getting attracted towards him.

After the laughter died down and I made enough fun of him for having a mini heart attack, we sat there in the dark in silence. There was only sound of wind and rain pouring outside. I looked at him only to realize that he was already looking at me. We had lit up the house with a few candles and there was enough light for us to see each other's face clearly.

I don't know what got over me, and my hand automatically made it's way towards his hand. He locked his fingers with mine and I was moving closer towards him. I could feel fireworks going on around me. I was robbed out of sound and sight. All I could hear was my heart beating like a drum and all I could see was Sanskar. His beautiful eyes locked with mine, making me numb. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak and… this feeling… it was familiar. . .

He broke his gaze and looked away. I inched a little closer to him and smashed my lips on his. He didn't hesitate and kissed me back. I didn't want to forget this one thing..this one person.. Sanskar.

I got goosebumps as he parted away. He looked back at me, his eyes not leaving me for a moment and said,

"I love you.."

I didn't know what to say? Do I love him? I liked him. I was attracted towards him, but I wasn't in love with him. I stayed quite and waited for him to speak up.

He smiled.

"It's okay. Take your time." He said and kissed my forehead. I puked him in for a hug. I don't know how long we sat there, hugging each other, but it felt good.

~~I felt it. I felt him. The sparks flying around and the butterflies in the pit of my stomach… I felt it ~~

Honestly, I'm bad when it comes to writing comedy. Still I tried for a reader Jianna jiju, because once, I was told to post some funny moments ๐Ÿ™‚ so this is dedicated to you dear.

And I wanna tell that I'll be updating both fanfics daily. I'll at least try but I also need your support and response for that. No promises though x x

Next part : A nightmare

Its said true lovers get warnings in their nightmares.

In Fix you too I guess there was one… In which Swara leaves Sanskar…

Credit to: Anu


  1. Dhara

    Excellent dear.. Try to make new memories for SwaSan..Which will last long even if Swara doesn’t remember anything.

  2. Jianna jiju

    Thank you soooooo much Anu. I regularly read ur fanfics and I am a great fan of yours. I feel that ur writing style is different from others which makes u one of my favorite writers . god bless u dear

  3. Dharsha

    Yaar next is it really a nightmare ??oh!!but anyways waiting for it coz I believe it doesn’t last long anyways

  4. Shreya

    oh god ..!!! oh god..!!! prank .. super awesome..!! loved it as always..!! uh are amazing dear..!! ๐Ÿ™‚ <3

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