Swasan : Destiny (Episode 18)

Swara ~~

I heard the door of my room open and close. My mothers footsteps echoed in my ears as I curled under the warm and cosy blanket. I took my earphones when my mom smiled and took a seat beside me. She held a glass full of water and some pills in her hand.

“How are you feeling ?” She asked.

“Not so good.” I mumbled. I was too weak to even talk. My stomach growled and a sharp pain shot through it. I cringed at it. But it was nothing compared to the ache in my heart. I was broken. . . emotionally as well as physically.

“Have this. You’ll be fine.” Mom said handing me the tablets. There were three of them. All had different colors. But all tasted the same – bitter. I swallowed them all at once with some water.

I had expected mom to leave soon after that. But she stayed. She looked hesitant to say something.

“Ma. . . .do you want to say something? I asked. She snapped her head up and sighed.

“Yes.” She said. I beckoned. “I was wondering whether you could stay here for a few more days. You know, until you recover completely.”

I knew the exact reason behind her saying this, and it was certainly not what she said.
“Mom. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Its not like I’m shot with a bullet. Besides, I have exams coming up. I’ve to pass or else I’ll be wasting a year.” I said.

“But dear I’m just worried about you. You don’t even have your meals on time, you stay up all night, you prefer being alone and don’t mix with people. . . How am I supposed to not worry now ?” She asked. I sighed and took her hand in mine. Mothers an be very emotional sometimes.

“Ma, I promise I’ll take care of myself. I’ll be perfectly fine. I’m strong enough. You have nothing to worry about.” I assured. She smiled and drew circles on the back of my hand.

“Okay, well what time is your flight tomorrow ?” She asked.

“Six thirty p.m.”

“Is your packing done ?” She asked.

“No. Will do it in the morning.” I replied. She nodded and got upto leave.

“Alright. Good night honey.” She said planting a kiss on my forehead. I watched her walk to the door, when she abruptly stopped and turned around to face me.

“I uh I forgot to tell you. I met Sanskar today. He was at the pharmacy where I went to get your medicines.” She said standing at the door.

The only question that popped in my mind was – Why was he at the pharmacy ?

“Is he okay ?” I asked at an instant. To that mom just shrugged.

“Maybe. Maybe not. . . Why don’t you call him and ask yourself ?” She suggested before saying a quick good night and shutting the door behind.

Why don’t I call him. . . .

How was I supposed to call him ? I was sure that he wasn’t going to answer any of my calls. Yet my worries made me pick up my phone. My finger hovered over his name in the contact list.

What do I do ? Call ? Text ? Or just do nothing. . .

Ugh !!

After a lot of debates with myself, I decided to call him. f**k the consequences. I had to know whether he was doing okay. But just as I was about to hit the green button my phone started ringing in my hands.

Sanky calling . . . .

My heart skipped a beat as I read his name. Now I was confused again, whether to answer or just reject. Finally, before he could end the call, I swiped the green button and answered the call.

I pressed the phone against my ear waiting for him to say something. But the other end of the line was blank. All I could hear were unsteady breaths. He was there. . .listening to me. . .even though I hadn’t said a word.

Unknowingly a tear slipped my eye and soon I was crying a river. I’m sure, my terrible sobs weren’t unheard by him. I didn’t know why but I just felt like crying.

“Are you okay ?” He asked softly. I nodded vigorously even though he couldn’t see me. And who was I kidding ? I wasn’t even a bit okay.

“I’m sorry.” He said. Why is he sorry ? I broke up with him. I played with his heart. Then he was sorry ?

“No. . .please don’t. I’m already drowning in a pool of guilt. Don’t add to it by apologising.” I said. My voice broke with every word I spoke. He sighed deeply.

“I’m sorry. . . for whatever I said to you yesterday. I didn’t mean it. Sometimes I just lose control over things when I’m angry. But you should know that I still love you.” He said.

“Why ? How could you still love me, Sanskar ? Even after what I did to you. Even after – – -” My cries were cut off by him.

“I don’t know. I don’t. .this is how it is, I guess. I mean I tried, Swara. But I cannot stop loving you. . .never. And no matter how much you deny, you are the one whose made for me. No one has the right to come in between us. Not even this shitty destiny.” He said.

My heart ached after hearing that. Yes, he was right. I was made for him. I was born to be his. But I couldn’t agree to it after nearly losing him twice. What kind of love was it ? We had nothing, but pains and cries.

“Anyway. You shouldn’t be shedding those tears. You have to smile. For me, okay ? Cause things are going to go your way. Jo tum chahogi wohi hoga. I’ll not force you into anything. No one will. . .” I could make out that he was saying all this with a heavy heart.

“You are leaving tomorrow, right ?” His voice shivered. He was keeping himself from breaking down. I only hummed in response. I was too broken to say anything.

“Hmm. . .so whatever time is left with you. . .with us. . . I want it to spend with you. I want to take you out for the last time.” He breathed out.

Why is he making it more and more difficult for me ?

I was sure to cross all my limits, if I had accepted his proposal. My mind was battling with my heart. I wanted to be with him for whatever time that was left in our hands.

Screw it. Last day and I’m spending it with the man I love. . .

I don’t know what came over me but I just made up my mind in a couple of seconds.

“Okay. . .okay as you wish.” I said.

After that one statement of mine, I pictured him smiling from the other end. The visual melted my heart in an instant. His smile. . .I wish I could see him.

“That’s awesome. I promise that you won’t regret the day.” He said.
I smiled. “So anyway . . .you’re not well. You should get some sleep. And no more chocolates for you, young lady.” He added the past part sternly. I chuckled.

“Yes daddy. Good night.” I rolled my eyes.

“Good night.” He said and hung up.

That day I slept peacefully looking forward to the last yet probably my best day with Sanskar. But before that I had loads of stuff to pack. . .

I groaned and fell into a deep slumber. . .

**

Next part : Competition

So guys probably the last day. Swasan moments to come on that day. And tell me how was this episode ? Leave your lovely feedback.

Credit to: Anu

29 comments

  1. Isabel

    Quite pretty and beautiful, that conversation of swasan, makes my heart smile, feeling good.. Hoping to read more.. Finally some good things.. πŸ™‚

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