Hmmm, the sun is already irrating me, hell f**king f**k, I need more sleep, can i? Sure no, get the hell up Sanskar. I slowly open my eyes, mmmm, so tiring. I was sleeping on my belly so I start to stir, I want to feel her warmth, her heat… Her awesome curves…..
I stretch my arm to be met by only cold, I looked to other side to find only empty
Bed is cold, was she taking shower??
“hai…. Ahhh, where are you….ahhh” what is her name?? its… its… I don’t know, i try to remember but then realize that I didn’t ask her name.
“tigersita???” I stood pulling the sheets around my waist covering my nude self, the room isn’t big or something so she won’t be anywhere; it’s a poor hotel after all, 5*5 room and small bath. I open bathroom door to find it empty and that’s when I freaked out.
“tigersita???” my god, where is she? I quickly wore whatever remains from my cloth and went out of the room calling tigersita, a guy laughed at me but I am lest bothered. I went to reception
“I had a girl with me last night, where is she?”
“I don’t know sir”
I burst out in anger “what the f**k you mean??” I grape his collar “answer me where is she?”
“sir I really don’t know, I didn’t saw anyone”
I left in a hurry, where did she gone? Why is she gone? Why she didn’t wait me? Wasn’t I good with her? Did I scare her away? But I guess she enjoyed…. We f**king enjoyed every second. I search all around the poor motel and got nothing, desperately I took a cap back to the hotel.
The ride to the cap was empty, I kept thinking about this girl, why did she was gone? I am sure I didn’t do any wrong, she enjoyed me and I enjoyed her, it was a perfect night, then why…..
Oh god, did she thought it’s a one night stand? I repeat how things got between us and hell f**k me I messed up, well done f**ker Sanskar, sure she will understand that, you didn’t speak a word about it after you finished, you didn’t even ask her name.
I can’t believe I am such a bad guy, I thought I will still find her in the morning and we would talk and I will be with her, she made me feel good and warm and happy in just hours so I wanted her, I wanted more of that but I messed it up with my stupidity, Idiot. f**ker. Asshole.
I stepped to the hotel with heavy heart only to hear a yell
Then I was engulfed in a hug, it was alano
Kabeer: where have you been Sanskar, you made us so worry.
I can see their face filled with concern and questions, but I wasn’t in a mode to answer any of them, so I stepped away and head to the elevator and they followed. They throw many questions and what I am only cable to think of is my tigersita, her hairs, her eyes, her arms, her voice, her words, mia tigersita.
I entered my bedroom and alano still yelling as I throw myself on the couch.
Alano: tell me what the hell wrong with you Sanskar? We have been so worry like shitty hell, where you disappeared, I was about to talk to the cops.
Kabeer: why aren’t you replying Sanskar, come on yaar
I remembered her voice calling me yaar, her indian accent was beautifull.
Alan shock my shoulder again: speak Sanskar.
“leave me alone alano, I don’t wish to talk”
Alano: hell you will, we were so tensed here.
This is start to hit on my nerve: kabeer, take alano and leave me alone now.
Alano: I am not moving sanskar
That mad me off and I stand shouting: THEN LET ME REPEAT IT IN A WAY YOU GET IT, GET THE f**k OUT OF HERE ALANO, JUST MOVE YOU FILTHY ASS OUT OF MY ROOM AND GO f**k A WHORE OK. STOP f**kING MY BRAIN FOR THE DAMN f**k SAKE.
I stood raging my chest up and down with heavy breaths, a second past and I saw utter shock on alano’s and kabeer’s face then I registered what I just said. I palmed my mouth not believing that I just cursed and shouted and that too to my best friend.
“aaa..alaaano, I am sorry… I just snapped…. I … please… I am sorry”
I said as I blinked my eyes to stop any moister, how can I do this, that to alano. Alano had always been closer to me than kabeer, how could i??
Alano put his hand over my shoulder giving me warm smile and make me sit to couch.
Alano: ok Sanskar, we won’t speak, just make us stay here with you, I promise we won’t make a sound. We are just worried about you amigo, you were missed all night and you are now back with torn cloth, but we won’t speak and you just rest ok.
I sent my head back on couch back sit, I already feel bad and guilt
“I was going to come to you walking” I said slowly and my voice sounded broken even to me “I bumped to a girl and my phone got broken and couldn’t catch you again, then I went lost and end up in a street party”
Kabeer: what??? you???
Alano warned: kabeeer….
“yea, it’s good to get lost sometimes, she said that”
Alano questioned: she??
Closing my eyes I remembered her again telling me its good to get lost sometimes
“Mi tigersita…. Mi cierva”
“I don’t know, I crushed her in the party and she caught me like moon caught to the earth. She is very bright and free, like a wild doe and she.. she set me free kabeer” I looked at them and I felt a tear roll from right eye “she made me laugh and happy and warm. She made me drink alcohol and curse and have sinful ideas. She made me free alano, total free”
I saw alano smile for some reason: ohh Sanskar…
Kabeer: that’s great dude!! What happened later….
I hold back a break down, I am a man after all “we spend our night… together” I said looking to floor
I heard both of them shouted of surprise, and they are right, I swore I will never sleep with a girl before marry, beside the drinking and cursing, like I am a whole different person.
Alano: Sanskar do you understand what your words mean?.
Kabeer: and where is she? We must give her a trophy.
This is where I shatter again remembering my cold bed and empty room: she is gone
“I don’t know” a sop betrayed my throat and came out “I didn’t even get to know her name alano, I called her mia tigersita, it was amazing and she was wonderful, she was an angel. Now I lost her, I think she believed that I wanted her for what you call one night stand, but I swear it wasn’t my attention at all, I wanted to wake up with her by my side and we talk till there is nothing to talk about but This morning she was all gone, and I have nothing about her.”
Alano came by my side and hold my shoulder tight: Sanskar, we will find her, I promise you that….
Kabeer: we promise you that… don’t you worry about it amigo…
They had a lot of determined in their voice but I was too weak to think anything
Alano: kabeer, go set the bath he needs one.
Instantly he moved leaving my head rest to alano’s shoulder and my heart restless indeed
Sanskar POV over
After I sit Sanskar to his bed I moved to reception of the room and sit with kabeer knowing that he is having the same thoughts I have.
Ever since we started collage it took us no time to be friends, me and kabeer attend same building me at craving Department and he for drawing…. But after months Sanskar joined us.
We met by accident when some were bullying me for my name and looks, having cat eyes always draw much attention, but when you are not famous it won’t be same attention hirithic roshan and tiger shroff would get.
That day boys use to call me sissy, gay and girl, and my body building didn’t help either, that when Sanskar stood for me, only by standing everything stopped, who would go against the famous Sanskar!!.
That day on I was determined to be his friend, and he was a hell nut to crack, I came to know about how strict his father is to the extent that Sanskar was always afraid to live his life.
For years me and kabeer try to make him live and be himself but failed, epic failed. And yesterday was supposed to be new form to crack him, we set party, drinks and girls, we would even push him to a room with one knowing he would run from the window, but we would give it a try.
When he didn’t show up, I was as a f**ked up worry about him, I don’t even know how I let the night past without informing police and when he showed I breathed again. Telling about what happened to him I was hell as happy, finally he cracked and opened up all willingly, I couldn’t be happier.
I owe Sanskar everything I am on today and I wanted nothing but to see him happy and when he said he was I was happy, but watching him shatter all over again hurt me and kabeer, and now we are back to square zero.
“you have same thoughts right?”
“I know so”
“we gotta find her, know any hint to lead us”
“but what if….”
“if what kabeer?”
“do you think we will be including brothels in our search?”
I think about kabeer words, would the girl be a pr*stitute?? As much as I want Sanskar’s happiness that will be also tough
“let’s not rush things on, we need to get ready, gallery will start in few hours”
We went to be ready, last touches and PA instructions and before one hour from opening I went to Sanskar’s room and he opened for me shirtless and in Black pant, probably getting ready. As I enter I saw his back full of red scratches
“Sanskar!! Your back….”
But his face was full blank, stern and emotionless “it doesn’t hurt”
But I knew he was lying, I felt bad about this, not his wounds probably he enjoyed them, but I meant his mental state. He picked his black chemise and start dressing all black.
“you don’t like full black Sanskar”
“my family do”
“Sanskar don’t be like this again we will find her”
“ALAAANO, I don’t want to speak of this at all now. We have a gallery to set”
I was defeated, Sanskar was old Sanskar, not the morning free one, he didn’t flinch or rise his voice, total calm, stern and shut. He was again shut out in his nut.
Done for today