Swara hurriedly opens the door and finds sanskar lying on the bed like a motionless statue.she can’t step in the operation room by just looking at his very condition. The hand which always gave her shoulder to cry, now lying on bed in a stationary position. The eyes which could not bear her pain, now is not even twinkling. The legs which always rushed to her to give her comfort, now is not shaking.it’s like a portrait is kept on the bed & swara is unable to move a bit from her position.
A feeble breeze touches her face & swara comes to her senses & finds out standing at the door step of operation theater. Her inner soul is talking to her… Swara , you need to be confident, determined .. Can’t breakdown.. You know what sujata mom has said to you ” it’s your time to pay back” & the persuasion of her inner soul gives her confidence to enter the room & she moves forward rapidly to sanskar’s bed.
She seats beside sanskar & touched his hand. She grabs his hand in between her two hands & starts sobbing by putting her head down.
Sanskar feels a sensation in his body like his last desire which he has cherished, has finally fulfilled before his death. He slightly moves his hand to finally wave her good bye before living this harsh world. But swara is unable to notice his slight movement as her heart is filled with so much grief & guilt.
There is not a single bit of tear left on her eyes. She has cried her heart out but still unable to understand her feelings for him. Her mind utters as she is your friend, .. no.. no best friend , so you are crying. But heart tells another story. No swara, this is a symbol of pure love.. You can’t live without him.. Don’t you get that swara?
Swara remembers her moments spent with laksh & thinks she never felt such restlessness when laksh was hurt whom she thought she was in love with.. But why now? Also she is going to give him divorce after uniting ragini & laksh. Still why she is feeling so much pain? Like her world is nothing .. Like a hollow empty pot if he is not a part of it. No swara it can’t be friendship. Think above it. It’s something special which always makes you smile, happy & secure & this time her mind is unable to overpower her genuine feelings towards her husband & she is very well convinced that she is in deeply love with sanskar.
She smiles as she realises her true feelings. Suddenly her smile disappears as she lifts her head by looking at sanskar & she thinks about sujata mom’s words, ” swara, you need to give sanskar a cause to live his life.” And her begging situation flashed back & agitated her thoughts.
‘Tu aaja, Tu aaja
Mujhko meri sazaa toh suna ja
Won aahein haan woh aansu
Mere hisse me mujhko rula jaa”
Swara is in deep pain by thinking their old moments. How her life was changed after sanskar’s entry.that time she was just a pawn to get his revenge fulfilled. But later point of time he changed himself & promised to help her in every part of her decision. But she still blamed him for every cause of her pain.he knew ragini was also the culprit but never uttered it until she herself found out her sister’s misdeeds. She always rebuked him & he always followed her decisions & fulfilled all her aspirations without asking anything in return. She is now able to understand her guilt & wants to apologize him for all her bad manners she showed him earlier.
She pushes sanskar to get up.
Swara: sanskar, get up. You can’t leave me in this guilt and pain. I will never say you sorry & thank you. I will never cry & also not ruin your handkerchief. Open your eyes sanskar. Punish me for all my misdeeds but don’t leave me. You know before I am your wife, we both are partners to expose ragini. So you can’t bear all the pain. It must be 50-50. Punish me, curse me, blame me.. But don’t go sanskar by leaving me.. I can’t bear the separation any more. Are you listening sanskar?
‘Sapne tere saare jinme main rehti this
Tukde banke mere
Zakhm seene me kar gaye ho
Maine mere jaana kyun nahi jaana , ishq tera, dard tera.’
Sanskar, you promised me that you will never leave me.look at me how I am after seeing you in this situation. You always told me that you loves me. I am the biggest fool that I can’t understand your feeling. Feel the invisible scar marks in my heart sanskar.. By saying so she puts his hand near her chest. It only wants you.you must be healed to heal my heart. I always shouted you that you cheated our friendship by feeling love for me. But I am wrong sanskar, love has no boundaries.. Please come back to lessen my mistakes , to heal me, to pour innumerable love in my heart.
‘Reh gayi bin tere yun akeli
Main tadpoon ya taarsoon
Ya chali aaun main pass tere
Itni tanhai hai zindagi kho gayi
Baatein karne saari aa rahi hoon tujhse hi’
Swara remembers her situations in life as how her father rejected her, how dadi cursed her. Still that time she was able to fight back because of sanskar. Now sanskar is not with her. How I will fight sanskar? How I will prove my innocence if again anybody will point the finger at me? I don’t want to live this life as hell. If you are not listening to me then I am coming to you. I can’t be parted from you. If we can’t stay together in this world , then may be in some other world we will be together. I can’t live the life in the feeling of being dejected.
‘Tu jo gaya
Haal ye mera rehta hai
Dil ye mera
Khud she hi tanha rehta hai’
She recalled the moment when ragini told her that sanskar had come but left. Swara felt astonished that he left her without even saying her hello.she wanted to talk to him, to share her happiness with him that laksh won’t force her again to his life & also accepted ragini. But unable to tell him as he left without even bid a formal hello. Why you left from there, sanskar? If you talked to me that time then even I would come & join with you in your car & you won’t face this accident. But you departed.. Could not you even think about me that how I would feel when you went away without even noticing me?
Still sanskar is motionless, speechless.. Swara could not take it more. She yells his name, makes him remember his promises of never leaving her.. But still no answer.
‘And I feel too lonely yeah
That’s a better place than this
She is now ruined physically & mentally. Can’t take it more. Repeatedly asking sanskar, why you are not opening your eyes.. Look I am waiting for you.. Your brother frees me from his clutches & I am all yours.. Don’t push me to the world of darkness & emptiness where every one suspects me. My backbone please come back. “I LOVE YOU SANSKAR” ..by saying so she rests her head in his chest and drops of tears are rolling down from her eyes wets his chest.
Oh!! These 3 magical words work like a trigger to gain his consciousness, give him a cause to live. Sanskar feels guilty in his thoughts that he believed his mind that swara ditched him.. How wrong am I? He is my wife, my “SWARA SANSKAR MAHESWARI”. She needs me. I will fight beyond limits to give her happiness & this time love is not one way.. But two sided…
This time the graph in ECG has risen, showing a symbol that he has got the reason to live. He moves his hand a bit and pats it on her head. Swara suddenly wakes up from his chest due to his touch and shouted loudly “MY SANSKAR IS BACK”. Like two souls are gradually mingling into one…
Thanks guys for all of your comments in my first ff. I am honoured. Do comment to inspire me to write more. Also suggest , will I continue this ff(as earlier mentioned 2 shots ff) or write a new one.
Credit to: Kashis