This is Balaji here after a long time with an os .Guilt . read fully then comment . it’s not about love or romance.
Let I start the os.
“it’s brilliant Mr.Laksh” My CHAIRMAN hugged me lightly in excitement, we both have a professional handshake. I did, finally I made my company win a very profitable project and we completed it without any flaws. Even I have a share in profit as senior project manager. Well! First I introduce myself, I am Laksh … Laksh Rajashekaran, 30 year old man. I know what all you want to ask me. Maybe my father name sound as Tamilian. Yes ,my father was a tamilian and my maa was from north india. Both married at the marriage fixed day of my father with another women , after eloping from mandap.
Still I remember how my papa told his marriage story with an excitement about running , chasing, throwing bigger knives, wodden logs,etc… I always felt that I saw a movie.
“ Mr.Laksh… Laksh..”My CHAIRMAN Voice make me come out of my thoughts.
“Sorry Sir… just lost in my thoughts” I apologized .
“It’s okay Mr.laksh. it’s just a small gift from company’s side.”My CHAIRMAN offered me a small box. I opened it. it ‘s keys but… I looked my CHAIRMAN confusedly.
“it’s your new house keys Mr.Laksh, it’s for our new CEO” my CHAIRMAN Smiled. I can’t believe. A new house was presented to me with the unexpected promotion.
“Sir…” I just can say this word in surprise.
“ you deserve. Your smart work deserve this Mr.Laksh” My Chairman said and left from my Cabin. I just sit my chair with shock. Subconsciously , I take my mobile and pressed call to my maa, put it in speaker.
“Maa…” I called her the next moment she attend my call.
“Is everything okay Laksh ?’ my maa asked tensed.
“it’s must be midnight there, Laksh” my mind snapped me. I forget that I am in US and my maa is in India.
“maa, everything is okay. I got promotion. I will get high salary then now” I said and see My wife ragini is calling me.
“Maa, Ragini is calling me. I will speak afterwards” I said without giving any heed, I cut the call and connected towards Ragini’s call. I wanted to tell about my promotion to My Ragini.
“Laksh…”Ragini whispered my name in phone. I always love whenever she calls my name. I feel something in it.
“Haan Rago…” I suppressed my smile and talk like I am busy in work. I want to see her expressions when I say about my promotion.
“ today come soon… I want to speak to you “Ragini said. I sense something important.
“okay be Ready Rago. Today we will go out for a dinner” I said and waited for her reply.
“ok Laksh”she accepted. Well! we both did love marriage but not like my father. We married each other with our parent consent. Even my maa convinced her parents, to accept our marriage.
I walked out from my Cabin and all my colleagues and cabin wished me for my promotion, I thanked my all my team members . after an hour, I come out of my office, switched off y phone. Now no one can disturb me and get into my car, drive towards the restaurant which I want to book now for my surprise dinner. I booked the whole floor and supervised the decorations. Everything is ok.
My watch alarmed it’s 5:00 PM. Well! Now I have to go my house and get ready.
In Laksh’s House,
“am I did wrong?” Ragini asked herself when she sits before mirror. Suddenly Vomiting sensation aroused inside her and she ran towards the sink, vomited. She feels dizzy , holds the wall for support. She walked towards tap, splashed it in her face, drink little bit water.
“now, it’s ok”Ragini thought as her dizziness reduced.
Her hands caressed her belly where a little soul starts to grow . she sits in nearby chair and hold her head.
She felt someone caressing her head.”Annu maa…” Ragini said and turned her head. but there is no one. Her astonished face turned into sad one.
She come out of her flat and pressed the calling bell of opposite flat . Flat door is opened.
“Ragini… are you alright?”Pari, Ragini’s neighbor asked by seeing her face.
Ragini nodded little bit and Pari let her come inside.
“Come in Rago beta…”Suji, pari’s MIL welcomed her with a warm smile. Pari offered a coffee. Ragini take a sip Again, Vomiting sensation aroused inside her, she ran towards bathroom, vomited.
Pari holds Ragini shoulders and helps her to sit, make her drink warm water.
Suji holds Ragini hands and checks pulses as she is a doctor , smiles broadly.
“Are you pregnant, Ragini?”Suji asked . Ragini slightly nods , blushes little bit.
Pari side hugs Ragini happily.”Are you tell bhai about his promotion? ” Pari asked while raising her eyebrows.
“ no … I am waiting for that moment”Ragini said while looking floor.
“ohh! Rago… wait, first I will feed you with some sweet. How much sweet news you give to us?”Suji said with a smile and sign pari.
Pari nods and come with Rasagulla. Suji feeds Ragini with rasagulla .
“Rago beta! Don’t worry, Dizziness and vomiting sensation is common in this period.Soon, Pari and Suji starts to their work for dinner while chit chatting. Ragini stares then with some unknowing expression may be guilt or longing which makes her remember some unwanted memories .
A normal middle class house which has 2 bedrooms.
“Rago… Rago.. atleast just eat this” Annu feed her while she was checking her things.
“Annu maa.. I am already getting … .”Ragini cut in middle because of food fed by Annu.
“Maa… it’s not good. You are caring your bahu than your son” Laksh complained with pouting face.
“She is also your wife. Take this and feed her. I will come in a minute ”Annu get into kitchen
Ragini looks the plate then laksh who is smiling. Ragini looks into Laksh eyes and subconsciously eats without saying anything.
“Cuckoo..cuckoo..” an artificial bird ringed to denote it’s 9:00 AM.
Raglak come out of thoughts.
“no.. it’s late”Laksh screamed.
“maa.. we are going”Ragini yelled.
“Rago beta.. just a minute…”Annu yelled from Kitchen. Laksh takes his bike to Road and starts.
Ragini sits in back while Annu comes hurriedly.
“Laksh, in this Tiffin and Lunch both there. Don’t dare to skip it and Rago, I did your favorite tomato rice with Potato fry. Don’t skip and I don’t want any excuses. Laksh drive carefully ”Annu lightly tapped Ragini’s cheeks then handover their lunch bags .
Laksh accelerates his bike and moves while Ragini clutches Laksh shoulder for safety. Annu waves her hand in , stares the direction Raglak goes..
“Ragini.. ragini…”Pari shake Ragini a little by seeing tears flowing from Ragini eyes.
“Rago are you missing your maa? Then ask laksh, to bring your maa here in dependent Visa” Suji suggested.
“Maa..”Ragini smiled sarcastically. “for my family , I just an burden to them which they want to lost” Ragini muttered.
“ragini..”Pari said. Ragini wiped her tears and put a smile.
Suji signed pari not to speak about further.
“Ok Pari di, Suji aunty. Laksh will come this time. We will meet later with sweets”Ragini said with smile and left to her flat.
On other hand,
I come out of restaurant and dashed with a old man.
“Sorry beta” old man apologized suddenly.
“It’s ok Uncle”I said and bend to take his walking stick.
I saw the old man who is adjusting his eye glass to get a clear vision of me.
“Uncle, there is your stick”I give oldman’s stick and turned towards his car.
“beta, one minute…”old man stopped me and I looked him questioningly .”are you Laksh, Annapurna’s son?” old man asked me questioningly. I really surprised , for the first time in my life , someone addressing me with my maa’s identity.
“haan… do you know about my maa?”I asked him with surprise. How he know about my maa?
“haan.. how can I forget her? She was worked with me . She struggled so much for your growth.”old man said. No I think he misunderstand me.
“no uncle, I think you misunderstand me.” I said to him politely.
“beta, are you Laksh, state topper even your father name Raja… Rajashekaran..”old man said. Yes, all correct , I am a state topper , even I am a IITian. But my maa never worked as maid.
“beta,. still I remember that I hired your maa for cooking in my marriage contracts. At that time , your papa was died and you were just in standard 11 and studied in hostel. “ he said. Yes, I remember my papa died in a accident and after that, my maa got insurance money even I studied with that money and it’s interest by putting it in bank . but he is saying…
“ I asked her several times by seeing her leaves. She said that she didn’t want to you know about her struggle, so she took leave whenever you came home . Even the smoke affected her health causing breathing problems, she refused to leave cooking job. Still I remember her answer.” Bhaiya, I am struggling for my Laku’s good life. See once he settled, he will take care of me as his queen.” You maa said this words to me and see now, her struggle won and I know you should keep your maa as a queen”old man said.
“he will take care of me as his queen” this words ringed in my mind. But Am I keep that words?
“papa…” my thoughts get broken by hearing a young man yell. He run towards that old man and starts to cover him with shawl.
“papa… you are already having cold. See the weather how much chill it is.” Young man , I think that oldman’s son scolded him with caring voice.
“Rajat I just want come out for some time. I don’t want to disturb you or Kavya. See you already tired because of your work” old man caressed his son hairs.
“papa I am not tired at all. come, I will take you nearby park” his son said and see me, come towards me.
“hi I am rajat . I hope my papa didn’t disturb you . you are Indian naa, he always like to speak with our country peoples”he said apologetically .
“ no it’s not like that. I am Laksh” I said.
“ ok. hope we will meet again” he said and goes towards his papa.
Maa… I just murmur. Am I did really wrong? am I broke her hope? Am I lose as a son?
I sit in my car and leaned towards seat.
It’s been a year after Raglak marriage.
In Laksh house, India,
Annu is laying in bed , her room with opposite legs and hands twisted, as a result of paralysis.
“see laksh, you know we both have to continue our job. See one side, we have to pay EMI for Car and another side, we have to pay EMI for flat and also have to take care of maa Medical expenses now.”Ragini said or yelled when I asked her to leave her job to take care of my maa.
“moreover. I can’t lose my job” Ragini said in definite tone which makes me frusturates.
“how can you say like this , Ragini? for you, your job is better than my maa” I asked her.
“See laksh. I didn’t say like that. Atleast for maa expenses, I have to continue my job. We can appoint any maid or we will admit maa in any old age home. They will take good care of maa more than us”Ragini said.
Yes, in current scenario , we both need to this job . our financial condition need it.
“Ok. Ragini. I will talk with maa about this” I said.
I entered my maa’s room. I can’t see her face. even though she is struggling with her disease, she is still smiling just for me.
“maa… we decided to admit you in old age home. They will take care of you” I said. I turned my face to see the floor as I can’t have any confidence to face her.
“it’s .. o..k..” my maa accepted while stammering. I came out of her room as I can’t see her face.
Knock…knock… I heard someone tapping my car mirror which makes my thoughts to cut down. I raised my head. there a man is standing.
“are you ok?” he asked me. I saw myself in side mirror accidentally. Tear marks are shown in my face and I am here for more than a hour .
I wiped it.” haan.. I am ok. ” I answered. He nodded and left.
I started my car and start to drive aimlessly.
In Usa, Laksh flat,
Ragini opened the cupboard and take the photo. In which Raglak with Annu, everyone is smiling .
Ragini hugged the photo to her chest.
“maa, I did wrong. I should resigned my job to take care of you. even my own maa hated me for born as a girl. I never get any love in my life until Laksh entered my life. You accepted me without opposing a word just for laksh happiness. Even after that, you treated me as your own daughter. you never taunted me for my mistakes. You supported me . you gave me love and care .but I don’t deserve this maa. I never cared about you . I let you alone…. When you need us, our support. I did a sin maa… please forgive me. I realized my mistake maa when I were here alone, when I needed your support, your healing words… I need you maa.. please forgive me… accept us back… accept us back.” Ragini said louder and cried badly.
On Laksh side,
Laksh stand near abandoned Lake and stared his face in water. Laksh turned his gaze as he can’t see his own face.
“Are you ashamed for what you did, Laksh?” a laksh lookalike asked Laksh.
“ no I did for her betterment”Laksh answered angrily.
“betterment… you left your maa when she needed you Laksh. she did everything for you but what you did for her other than betrayal ?” Laksh look alike asked him.
“ I never betrayed her”Laksh answered or may be yelled.
“ oh it’s betrayal Laksh. you grown by your parents money, your maa not only gave birth to you. she even stacked her health just for gave you a better life. But once you thought her as a hurdle, you just left..” Laksh look alike asked and laughed sarcastically .
“Stop it” Laksh yelled by holding his head.
“Do you remember when you talk with her last time properly? Do you meet her in the past two years atleast once atleast for the celebrations , diwali or atleast do you wish her birthday? ohh! To whom I am asking? A selfish person .You may know ragini’s birthday . do you remember your maa’s birthday? now you have everything just because of her but you abandoned her like throwing a waste paper to dustbin because she became useless to you. you are sinner Laksh. you are..”Laksh lookalike said.
“no.. I am not a sinner .” Laksh thrown a stone to his look alike but it just passed through him.
“Go Laksh and rectify your mistake, before time overpowers you . go”Laksh lookalike vanished in air.
Laksh kneeled down in ground.”maa…” he yelled out of his lungs. Suddenly, there rain is started. Laksh tears mixed with rain water.
Laksh stands up and walks weakly. He get into his car and drive towards his house.
After an hour,
In Laksh house,
Laksh entered his house and sees Ragini who is sitting in floor.
“Rago..”Laksh hold Ragini’s shoulder and tilted her face. Ragini hugged Laksh.”Laksh, I want to see Annu maa. Please take me there… I want to see her” Ragini burst out in cry.
Laksh kissed her forehead.”Pack your bags Rago… we have flight in two hours” Laksh said while hiding his tears from Ragini.
Ragini looked Laksh surprisedly and Laksh nods. Ragini hugs laksh happily.
The next day evening,
Ragini and Laksh landed in India. Sanskar, Laksh friend, received him .
“Sanskar, can you take us to nearby saree shop?”Laksh asked while Sanskar looked him confusedly.
“Maa Loves cotton silks that too vengatagiri cotton silks. I want to gift her”Laksh answered.
Raglak both done shopping for Annu and drive towards old age home.
Laksh entered old age home office while Ragini entered the place where old aged people lives to see Annu.
Laksh sees a man who is sitting in chair and doing someworks in note.
Laksh knocked the door and entered.
“ I am Laksh. I come here to take my maa with me. her name is Annupurna Rajashekaran” Laksh said. The man removed his eye glasses.
“beta, even we are waiting for you. con you come with me?” man asked Laksh while Ragini ented the office while crying.
“Laksh.. maa…”Ragini stammered as she can’t able to deliver what she want to say. Laksh sees Ragini eyes and understands something is not good.
Office man tapped Laksh shoulder friendly and take them to nearby hospital where Annu is admitted now. Laksh and Ragini entered ICU where Annu is laying in bed while so many wires and machines connected to her, while Sanskar just stand outside watching them through mirror.
“beta, two day before night, your maa received your call . After that she is so tensed that you called her in midnight. She is continuously trying to call you , she started to panic as you didn’t receive her call. We tried a lot to convince her that you are well. We thought that she was convinced. But she had a massive heart attack yesterday morning. We can’t reach you. we called your PA the no which you gave once. She only informed us that you are arriving here. Sorry beta..”Office man said in a sadtone.
“Am I responsible for my maa’s condition?”Laksh asked himself. Laksh kneeled down beside Annu’s bed.
“maa..”Laksh called Annu with moist eyes.
Annu opened her eyes and sees laksh and then Ragini. her eyes scans both that they are okay or not. she take her hand and put it on Laksh head.
“Laku…!”Annu whispered through in breathing mask.
“Maa..”Laksh choked. A smile appeared in Annu’s face while a long tear escaped from annu’s eyes.
“beep…”ECG machine shows a horizontal straight line while Annu’s hand fall down from Laksh head lifelessly.
“maa…”Laksh looked annu with frozen tears.
“Maa..”Ragini burst in cry and sits with a thud in floor being lost all her energy.
Sanskar phone vibrated and he answered.
“hello sir, we are from xxx old age home. We need you to complete some procedures to admit your parents ” other side said.
Sanskar Looked Annu and Raglak.
“no sir. It’s not needed . “Sanskar cutted the call, wiped his tears and get inside as his friend need him now.
Hi friends, do you think Laksh will be normal? Some wounds time can’t heal like this. The wound which made up of doing unforgivable sin, will haunt us still he alive.
I don’t know friends, once in this nation, we respected elders but now we are just abandoning them just because they are old and can’t work. someone sent them to old age home but someone just left them in street. I heard about a old lady which made me to write this os. She is no more now. She commited suicide being heart broken when her three sons left her in street after taking her properties. But I have a question. When time rolling, what is the assurity their sons also will not do the same when they become old?. Tell your views about this problem .