She leapt at him hugging him with all she had. His arms wrapped around her on their on own accord and his head dipped in her hair.
“I missed you.” She said into chest. It came out muffed but he didn’t say anything. He sighed a minute later pulling her more closer.
“Don’t go out wearing shorts.” He clipped and she craned her neck upwards still in a daze to understand what he meant. “Huh?” She asked.
But then she realized he was talking about the morning probably when she went out for the fourth card.
“You were there?” She asked again looking up at his face for any emotion.
“I was.” He answered shortly.
It was then she recalled what he had written on the card and she felt heat rising inside her.
“Maybe. Seriously Arjun?” She snapped pulling back. He got her a second later and kept on with his act replying,”Yeah.”
Her anger rose. Was he really apologising? She was sure he wasn’t. He was supposed to try hook and crook to please her. But he was being the cocky jerk he was.
“After all this you still think maybe?” She argued referring to the cards and the roses. She knew he did love her. But she wanted to hear him say that. What was the harm anyway?
“Maybe, certainly.” He whispered pulling her closer. His black orbs locked with her brown ones hypnotising her in a trance. She snapped out of it when his words registered in her mind.
“That’s downright ridiculous. They are antonyms for God’s sake.” She countered still in his embrace.
He chuckled. She cocked her brow and that sobered him up. “Maybe antonymously I do too.” He offered. She gasped at his audacity. “Antonymously? Is that even a word?” She asked dumbfounded at the lengths he would go to dodge saying it to her face. He just chuckled at her question. He seemed to enjoy it all. Couldn’t he just say it. What bad would happen if he did? Jerk. She had said it. Couldn’t he too?
“Arjun.” She complained.
He tucked the strand of her hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek while his right hand still rested over her waist.
“I conveyed it. Didn’t I?” He asked looking straight into her eyes. His eyes said it loud and clear. Her heart fluttered seeing the intensity of the emotion flaring inside him. Was it care? Affection? Or was it love all along? She just nodded acceding to his statement without even knowing what it meant. He continued, “The first boquet. 15 white roses. I apologised.”
“The second was yellow roses. Eleven. I respect what we have.”
“The third was lilacs and lavender. Your favourites, remeber. And the fourth was the single rose with the teddy. You know what it means.” He concluded, his forehead now resting on hers. She smiled through her tears. She hadn’t realized when she cried but seeing him try this much to apologise even after a month didn’t help with the tears. How could she not forgive him? It wasn’t about her love but her friendship with him. She had known him inside out since these years and she was euphoric seeing him make the efforts.
“Could have said it aloud. Couldn’t you?” She asked chuckling.
“Nope. It would have been sappy.” He answered.
“And this wasn’t?” She inquired sarcastically.
“More than that. But it saved me the expense of saying it. Didn’t it?” He smirked having won the argument.
She snapped out of the moment at that. Expense. Really? A single ‘I love you’ would have costed more than the roses and cards?
“Its unfair. I hate you.” She groaned walking out. He caught her wrist. She was about to snap when he clipped monotonously, “Do you, really?”
She turned around and saw hurt flashing his eyes. Guilt pricked her and she moved closer wrapping her arms around his waist. He didn’t reciprocate but she could sense the hurt. So she didn’t let go. Gazing up at him, she cupped his face making him look at her. He was still intent on keeping the mask up. It hurt him. And her too. To see him like this.
“No, I don’t. I don’t hate you.” She said softly looking into his eyes trying to decipher what was in those black orbs which were staring her.
“I love you, Arjun. So much that it hurts seeing you hurting. And it hurts even more when I am the reason.” She sniffled her tears. There was something in those eyes which passed away as quickly as it came and he sagged into her touch, hugging her. She cried. For him. And for herself too. She sobbed recalling all that he said. She knew it wasn’t deliberate. Yet it was. Things were as they were. She cried in his embrace while he kept rubbing her back, soothing her, providing her support. Emotionally and physically.
He knew she was grieving over what he had said. He knew there was no explanation for what he did. But he was truly sorry. He regretted everything already. He regretted it the moment he said it aloud. Gosh! He regretted it the moment he thought about it. But now there was no going back. Was there? There was no way he could travel back in time to stop his mad self from hurting her.
so dearies, i am waiting for the swords, knifes, guns, bombs, anything u wanna attack me with.
no amount of apologies can justify my cause.
but i am..
this is just an insight.. a bit of spoiler.
sweetie di, remember u wrote ‘give time some time’ when i went on ranting in the footnotes in one of the chapters of FoL. i took it from there.
gauri di.., myra di, and jessie
sry sry sry… tons of apologies dearies. i read ur stories sneaking in at inappropriate times, but couldn’t comment. i feel guilty already. am really sorry guys.
and jessie, pls yaar, forgive ur doll, pls….. i no u asked me to read bequarar e dil and i swear i read it, but i am a lazy ass and i didn’t comment. so sry.
ans asry for not updating being me.
eleventh grade is gonna suck my blood and empty my little brain. everyday has turned into a bloodshot mess.
school. tuition. studies. and it goes on.
am stuck. and i am confused too.
but enough of me yapping about.
do comment dearies. i know i don’t deserve ur love after wat i do to u whatever maybe the reason, but pls give it a try.
and silent readers, just don’t sit back reading it and moving on.
type a response, whether appreciative or not. point out my mistakes. [guarantee u i am a human]
love u all…. and ritu,subha and roma, sry for not replying in the comment section..
listen to justin’s sorry as u read out this part..