Hello sweetos. How r u all? A late Merry Christmas and a advanced Happy New Year. This is my last update of 2016. Sorry if you had read my prev chap and thought we are back to present. We are not. It’s still in flashback. Tho my plans included finishing fb by this year but u can see I can’t. So fb will end within 3-4 chaps n this crappy story would end by Jan if all goes well. Now I’m so sorry 1stly coz now this story will rush. I wanted a slow and proper build up but then my updates are super slow so it isn’t helpful. I’ll just run coz don’t wanna pull up the mysteries longer. (I’ll post my original story on wattpad nxt year somewhere so u can chill off and read a proper version later on) Anyways back to my story- now these few fb chaps r imp so I don’t want u to miss it. There r bundles of clues left behind so do check them. And yah this chap also ends with a surprise (OR MY SPECIAL YEAR ENDING SURPRISE!!!) n no chance u r liking it.
CHAPTER 9: SENSE OF REALITY
I was humming the lyrics out loud as those words buzzed off my ipod. Each word elaborated my life currently. Moving on wasn’t easy but I had to too. The ‘Psychology inheriting lives’ laid in front of my eyes for the past three hours yet no word make up to my head. That is exactly what has been happening lately. I had been lost. Lost to dept in the forest that I forgot my way back home. Or I can say now this darkness is my home. Those classes I had been attending since the break went horrifying. My attention always followed the small stone fountain standing outside of our class window and I really don’t know how was that so fascinating to watch. Sometimes, it was more than just the faded stone- it was her. She kept peeking through the small water hole on the stone and looked directly into my eyes. We shared ourselves. All those days when I smiled, she fowned and now when I wonder, her smile turns the brightest and hope follows every pick of light that emits from her body. Of course looking at her affected me both physically and mentally. My class average dropping by 2% within a week wasn’t a shock to me. Rather I gave that ‘oh wow still above 95%’ look at my basic reports. But somewhere deep inside my heart I knew it wasn’t only she who affected me. It was something else too. Something that had answers unlike her mystery. Something that could be resolved with a civilized talk. Something that could start a new life for many or end the headache of reality. And all those something was within that someone- Shravan…
We didn’t get in touch since that night. It has been a week, or two I guess, of us not coming face to face. How much I miss his smile is only something I know. It just can’t get explained in words. Push is really nice and supporting. Though I didn’t see him since my departure too, he made a small effort of calling me regularly and asking my whereabouts but that tower just remained faded. Push also oiled up his rusted brother by muttering words of love like how much ‘they’ love me and how much my absence gets noticed by ‘them’ but as if I would buy his words. That tower is ignoring me to the highest level and I bet didn’t even recall my name since I left.. It hurts to see how I’m now a complete stranger to someone who means so much to me. But then I wonder why does it hurt so much? All my life I had been thrown up and it wasn’t a huge surprise to be ignorant yet I don’t know why Sumo is sad. Uhhhhh girl you are gone crazy.
As a large amount of weight landed on my shoulder and thick arms hugged me hard, my wonders broke off and I entered the genuine reality.
“Hey Maya s’up?” I asked with the common tone of interest. She had been my that late support since Malhotras screwed up. Though our personalities are mountainous different, I like hanging out with her and listen to her cute words of Jack.
“Jack and I broke up.” She hiked ending her words and bursting with tears as I hugged her back to console. It was also not an issue as she was making it. I had known Jack too through Push and honestly, never liked that guy- A complete playboy. But then I had to listen to her too to ease her.
“Well he had always been like that so what surprises you lately at the conclusion?” I asked being as honest as I could sounding warm.
“No, no, Sumo you don’t get it. Love is when you like someone accepting their flaws. I know he had been a literal jerk yet that wasn’t helpful. I loved him and it blinded me.” She argued her fact.
“Well now your vision is clear?”
“Not really. I still love him.” She frowned. How does that exactly work? You are done with someone yet you keep thinking of them. This whole equation of love had always been confusing to me. “Well you won’t understand the pain until you fall in love.”
“Nah honey I can balance myself. Not ‘falling’ in love.” I spoke being as neutral as I could.
“Well Sumo being extremely sorry with my coming words – you fell. Long back. From the tower for the tower.” Maya smiled letting her tears dry in the air. I gave her the most confusing look but deep inside I, both knew what she meant, and agreed.
Walking back from University isn’t easy everyday. Company had always been an issue but the hardest had been the wonders of where to spend the remaining hours of darkness. Today, Maya was there temporarily by my side. I had been consoling her but who knew it was actually stabbing my innocent four chambered heart? She just kept on bring up my stories.
“So you are sure you don’t wanna admit it?” She asked as interested as hopeless.
“You can’t force me. Can you?” I replied deadly. What should I admit? I had already accepted, so nothing was left to admit.
“Not forcing my friend just thinking of your future. He is a nice guy.”
“So was Jack. And you see how it ended. Besides he is ignoring me.” I said pleading my eyes not to drop water.
“Which a*s ignored my sweetheart?”
Following the voice, I turned around involuntarily to see the most unexpected reality. It was Push… or it was just them!!!
Though I smiled looking at Push, I couldn’t stop my eyes from piercing through Shravan’s. He was looking casual as usual yet my heart ran for him. Gosh I need to limit myself more, I warned myself but poor went heavy for my brain!
“Hi Pushkar nice seeing ya. Hey Shravan how’s life?” Maya socialized but all went ineffective as his eyes too were glued on me. I knew I was burning in hell and my saintness was in danger but now that I have seen him after so long, I couldn’t care less. “Errrmm I’ll putting them aside. Bye Pushkar I gotta leave. Had a hectic day, You take care.” Maya patting my back and bringing me back to the horror truth- he was in front of me, face to face.
“Hey Maya wait, I’ll go with you.” I suggested. I didn’t wish to see him more. He couldn’t even afford giving a smile. Why had I been so concerned about him all the way?
“Woah no! Sumo u r coming with us. Maya join too if you want.” Push ordered with a cute requesting tone.
Maya nodded assuring both of our presence with them. As she winked and joined their side, it was only me standing against them. Forcefully, I smiled and kept walking towards the subway.
“Where are we going?” Maya asked as she was similarly clueless as me.
“Bhaiya is treating since it was his first day of office today. Now don’t know where to go.” Pushkar explained as my fell on the shadow of guilt. It was one of the biggest day for Shravan and I forgot…
Maya broke through my thoughts once again suggesting some Indian food. Though both me and Push warned her about the spice, she has a stern mind so all worked well. Hah!
“Ok so let’s go to Gerrard Street. I went there with my other Indo-Asian friends and dude that place rocks! All those food and spice.” Maya kept exaggerating all the way as we took the trum and went there. While Pushkar went all red in a sec to another looking at Maya, I didn’t find that much interesting. My mind was still stuck on that guy who didn’t utter a single word since our meet. For a min I felt he intentionally ignored me and that triggered mine but the next moment my eyes traced his innocent face. He, even on his wildest dream cannot be that cold to me.
As he pinned his debit card, we made our way out of the south indian restaurant. Maya was still complaining how the dahi puri burnt her tongue with that unexpected spice while Push tried calming her down. As for me, what else can I do when he is in front of me? Like an idiot, I kept staring at him. Admiring his so accurately trimmed beard and perfectly done hair has been my only business ever since we met.
We four kept walking by the street as I saw a big board labelling Special Indian Paan. With a huge smile I marched in the opposite direction.
“Sumo where are you going, the bus stop is right there?” Maya wondered but I didn’t respond.
Once I walked to the store, the trio followed my hopelessly. I didn’t look back but I could hear Push begging Shravan to come into the store too. Gosh he is being full of attitude lately!
I went to the old uncle on the desk to order some paans as all looked at me.
“Maya have you ever tried paan? Try out Bombay’s special paan. It’s hella sweet and can heal your tongue better than milk.” I suggested and pointed my hand to order when the old uncle gave a bright smile of slightly orangish teeth and cried out “Oh sons after so long! You all had grown up terrifically!”
Wait what? Is he talking to us? I had never seen him before.
“Hey Chrilie put three Mawa Paans with extra coconut powder. Son, will the other girl also eat the same?” He asked pointing Maya. What’s going on?
“I’m sorry uncle I didn’t get you. Did we ever meet?” I asked as it kept bugging me for a while.
“Oh my child I see memories fade away. Won’t blame you. So many young birds walked onto my store with families but as they grow up, their culture runs away and they forget me. But my child I remember all of you, especially Pushkar. The naughtiest kid. He always ate 4-5 paans at once and ended up being high and dread. It was so funny how he pulled Mr. Malhotra’s wallet off his pants and give me $100 note for as many paans as possible.”
I looked back at Pushkar who kept looking at Shravan, all worried and sweating. As far as I knew, his parents lived back in India. When did ever they come here? And didn’t they spend their childhood in the boarding school here?
That uncle also suggested knowing me so curiously I asked about myself, “Uncle, I’m so sorry I can’t recall anything but how do you know me?”
“You had been like my granddaughter. Always jolly and noise tomboy sort. And now that you changed your look, I can actually differentiate you with my grandchild.” He smiled handing us the paans. “Before you both had the common hazel eyes and re-”
“Tom Uncle you don’t remember me?” The thick voice cut through. I looked around in wonder, who it was, and took few secs to recognize that charmline. Finally he spoke.
“Ahhh Shravan. Unforgettable soul that you were. Or the uniquest person. Now that years went by, I can ask for my rewards eh? See you grew taller than me, and also, your ladylove is still with you.” Tom Uncle smiled.
“OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I left my backpack at the restaurant.” Maya cried out of the blue.
“Well it’s over 9 so they possibly cleaned up.” I asked offering her to get the bag tomorrow early in the morning.
“My laptop is there!!!” She kept weeping.
“Hey don’t cry. Bhaiya and Sumo please get the bus. I’ll try running to the restaurant now. Maya come with me. Don’t worry I’ll drop her on my way.” Pushkar settled the issue grabbing her hands and rushed off.
I shared a quick glance with him as he coldly walked to Tom Uncle and pay him.
“Son do come here again. Hopefully next time with kids?” uncle spoke melodically and Shravan smiled and left without even looking at me.
As I kept following him, his name made out of my mouth a lot but it would have been too nice for him to turn around and ask whether I’m okay or not. We finally stood there inside the boxed room bus stop. It was only us and awkward. The air was as cold as our situation. It hurted to imagine us, killing each other off few days ago. Time had it’s own power. So much changed in a bit.
Bravely I broke the silence and spoke, “Angry?”
“Are you angry?” I asked again yet no answer
“Mr. Malhotra are you angry on me?” I asked sounded almost like a camel thirsting for water.
“Who are you on whom I would waste my emotions?” He replied coldly as the iced sword stabbed me.
“Why are you behaving like that? Ignoring me since I left. What’s my fault?” I asked as heated tears rolled off my eyes of frustration.
“You just mentioned.” He replied giving the cornered smile.
“You left Sumo.”
“I had to… someday.” I answered coldly. It was a fact. I had been a temporary dust on his life. I had my own arrival and departure time from his life and sadly both arrived.
“I know you had to. So you see I moved on.” he said sharing a sarcastic tone.
“Have you?” I asked as curious as I could be. He didn’t reply but his jaw rims curved. “I believe you didn’t.” I answered for me. My words made him look at me for a while and look back. “Don’t worry, neither have I.” I continued as my words sounded truer with each word.
Now he was looking right at me with those tearful eyes carrying little hope of light and I had I lantern,..
“Shravan, I left but for a solo reason-you. I didn’t know what to name our relationship and It was killing me. You claimed me as a family, but what family was I to you? A sister? Then again, can you turn that intimate with your sister? You just can’t put that under a ‘mistake’. Look, I didn’t wish to break both of our saintness so I left. Shravan I know it wasn’t just me who got heated up a zillion times around you, it was you too. We both had equal parts here. You affect me the same way I affect you and we both are aware of that.” I spoke, trying to avoid eye contacts as I knew another look at him would break me into pieces.
He interrogated me for few minutes as silence took over once again. I know he kept wondering for the same thing as me. Slowly, he stepped closer to me and broke the silence with the worst thing I could imagine of. Yet is was pure bliss. I could feel myself in air once again as those strong arms lifted me by my waist and his lips pressurized against mine. It took me a while to understand what was going on but once I did, my hands ran through his hair once again as I reciprocated. Over time he explored me as I returned favour but honestly, it was nothing like what books said or movies displayed. There was no fire burning up my stomach or cold freezing air cooling my soul. It was a simple yet hungry kiss- Just a kiss. It felt nothing but complete. Like the last piece of a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle fitting in. It felt like the commonest happiness of both man and womanhood.
As we slowly aparted, he looked right into my eyes, this time with darkness of love, affection, care and desire than anger and kept me on my stable legs. As per the world it should have been sending shivers all over my body but then reality rules it’s own world. I felt no such thing. It was as simple as the theory of me being with him.
“I promise it was all a mistake but my soul would rip off my body if I say so.” He said huskily, cupping my face and feeling the dried tears with his thumb. “Sumo you are the biggest blessings of my life but I’m sorry… I’m your biggest mistake.”
Once again he took my lips into his and ate up my soul like a dementor with me giving equal effort, and took the head back only to curse our lives.
“I needed that. I really required a bit more of you and I still do but I have to stop.” He spoke as a tear ran off his left eyes, and he broke off me, taking a step behind.
Both confusion and fear rose up me as I was victimized by the world once again. He turned his head around and walked out of the glass room and stood next to the pole as a bus dropped by and opened the door. I was also supposed to get in there but my legs, left so numb, that I could barely feel myself. With much pain and effort, I called him. He cared. I knew he always did, He loved me enough to care and stopped from stepping on the bus but then he didn’t look back. Rather coldly, hiding an unknown pain which only I could detect, he spoke breaking my heart into scattered glass. “Please take care and move on.”
Move on? Is it that easy? And specially after all that happened now. I was still wondering how to get over his short betrayal when reality hit me harder. To my last plea he walked into the bus showing the driver his ticket.
“I’m committed” He spoke while the door shut as off he goes leaving me behind in the maze…
Tada!!! Ik I’m super proud of wht I just wrote. I mean with my least creative mind and sleepy eyes, a sentence is even too harsh punishment for me but look it went pretty long and well compared to my imaginary thrash. Jk ik it was boring but trust me, if you are enough Sherlock-y then it would have been the best chap so far coz I left a google of clues behind. But won’t point them out. Just bringing up some lines and yah dude deal with it- Shravan ditched Sumo
-Drrrr the chapter of the girl isn’t over yet. Sumo sees her more and more which isn’t good. Don’t worry her secret will be revealed soon.
-What about poor little Maya who just had a break up? Can she be helpful anywhere in future?
-“Company had always been an issue but the hardest had been the wonders of where to spend the remaining hours of darkness.” got it? Not giving it out but if you got it u r a smart af
“-You feel from the tower for the tower.” How ironic is that? (Not getting the answer till we find back Sumo)
-Tom Uncle- Just a quick note (hope u remember his paan. Comes to some use someday. Besides, he knows Push n Shravu.
N what about Mr. Malhotra? When did he come in?
-Now the big fat question about Tom Uncle- How does he knw Sumo?
-Btw Shravan is committed
Yah that’s all. There r more clues which I won’t point out coz I’m too lazy. Find them if u want. Best of luck. It was a wonderful 6 months journey so far n love u all.
Have a very happy new year
Hugs n kissies,
PS: All veggies and rotten fruits allowed. Shoes and garbage works well too