Hello guys. I know I had been invisible lately and never commented on any of the ffs since my last update as I was on a break. Sorry for that. I’ll catch up by this weekend. A huge thanks for ur sweet support on my last update tho I didn’t manage replying to those sweet comments. Ik I’m also posting after ages. Pls forgive me. Honestly, I’m too lazy to write and never feel like doing it but then I saw those cute comments last night n my heart melted like cheese so I am making a quick update. This is the second last fb chapter. I wanted to end fb on this chap but it would be a rush if i did so and ik that would be too mean since Sumo’s departure is the main part of the story. Now u can guess since I delayed so much in between, uploading a chap a week won’t allow me to finish this ff by this month since it got around 15 chaps. So I’m guessing it’ll end by mid-Feb. For now enjoy this boring chap. It got two diff parts so that you can take a break and chill out in between with some coffee
Pre-reading alert: Hyper boring, requires major editing and is nearly never ending long
Btw now onwards it’s all Shravan’s POV until further notice.
CHAPTER 11: VOWS TO LIVE THROUGH
Four years, it had not only been simple 4 years of 36 months, rather were 4 years of 1461 days, and countless hours and I, had never allowed myself fall. I held my soul stronger than a mountain and every night while my eyes flowed with water, the next morning always brought the rain-shadow effect. I continuously had that stern coldness fixed to me. People came and went away, nothing concerned me for those simple ones who left 4 years back carried away all of me. I thought I had no heart to love, and even Chote accepted the fact but who knew love was simply a tree inside me which was waiting for someone to water it?
Those hazel eyes, the sharp curved smile, those chubby cheeks and that petite figure. It never left my head. I walked pass my study table and allowed myself to trip off over the bed on my flat chest. The pillow smudged against my nose yet the reason behind my breathlessness was a simple words- Sumo…
The main door of the house cracked open as I simply guessed Chote walked in dropping Maya on the hostel. I hope he finds someone soon than being on a messed up life like me. I could hear quick steps getting more audible but nothing encouraged me to get back on my feets. Lazily, I ran my fingers through my hair. How much I had been protective about those, she always managed pulling it and trying on style. A chuckle left me as her laughter burst inside me. That was too innocent to be hurt… But then that teary look overtook my mind. Guilt ran through my blood and heated up my tall frame. I felt helpless while she was the one used. I used her. I saw it all happening. I saw her losing on me, I saw her concern over my soul yet I acted like a jerk. Never spoke up about my dark broken past. I had been that lust craving for her attention and enjoying it all. Realization hit me hard- I betrayed both… Sumo and Sanam. She would have never expected me playing around with another girl!
Burning tears rubbed against my cheek and speed through the pillow. Over time, the spot-so saturated to hold more water-didn’t let my tears pass through. It triggered me and helping myself, I threw the pillow off in hair letting my head rest on the soft mattress.
It didn’t drop. Someone caught it. I turned my head on an angle as I saw Chote standing my the door holding the white pillow safely, looking paler than ever.
Who cares? My life is a mess itself and I don’t have time to look at others now. Besides he was a grown up and could handle himself. He knew how to be strong for whatever was bugging him, after all he was my blood.
“Boys don’t cry” Chote spoke finally breaking the silence as I turned back facing him once again. I wasn’t in a mood for opening my mouth so just smiled looking at his silliness. For some reason, it reminded of Sumo though I wanted her out of my brain and life.
“Sumo-” He tried continuing as I stopped him warning I had no wish to bring her name up again, ever. Only if he ever listened to me. “She is sad.”
Tell something knew dude. I was being impatient simultaneously. I hurted her so obviously she was sad. Rather, that was a too short a powerless word for her feelings. I wanted to know more. But the question is, where did he meet her? I was about to inquire when I recalled Sumo must have been sharing the room with Maya so I stayed mum.
“I heard you turned into a playboy lately.” He smiled again though I felt a poked mark behind it. For sure his words had depth this time. “Surprising, she still cares.” I looked, finally into my brother’s eyes. While my reflected guilt, his showed pride. All these time he was right. Indeed, Sumo was in love with me. It didn’t help knowing now. It just added another brick on me.
“Wo-ould you elaborate?”
“After dropping Maya on the hostel, I was on my way back when I saw her bruised lying on the cold snow.” He paused. My heart froze. Bruised, Sumo. What happened? “I took her in a parking lot and kitted her. She was devastated-if that word only justified her part soul. She told me about your intimacy and also how you left her like an ass.”
“I got reasons” I argued though my heart ached.
“Yah that you are committed with a dead girl. Get over Sanam Bhaiya! She is DEAD. If you don’t learn to appreciate what lies around you, you will never be able to create a happy life. Sumo is your present and it’s all up to you whether you would make her your future or not. As for Sanam- She was only your past and she holds nothing any longer.”
My blood followed my brain nerves. I and an urge to punch him but I knew he was right too. Except for Sanam is my all…
“I promised her to stand by-” Chote cut off my taking charge again.
“Shravan Malhotra stop living with a stupid vow. You promised your love lady you would stand by her till her last breath which was taken 4 freaking years ago. You are set free now. Live your life. I won’t force you to ge with Sumo but just know this much, no one will ever love you like her. She never cared for your past. She accepted you with whatever you owned. And you don’t know but let me tell you, I told everything about us to her. She didn’t care. The last thing she told with her hands bleeding and heart torn into pieces was “Push Shravan needs you” and threw me to came here. And I walk in finding you in tears. She memorized your soul. I know Sumo deserves a guy better than you but yet selfishly, I would request you to think.”
I looked at him, perplexed. He didn’t ask me to go for Sumo. He asked me to think- think of me solitary. No Sanam, no Sumo, only me. I did and I knew my answer…
The phone buzzed earlier than my answer as a private no. displayed.
Chote pick up gesturing me to think again as he continued talking, but with words, our lives flipped. Yet again I remained helpless…
My body was thrown over the wooden chair as I kept rubbing circles over the smooth skin taped in white dress. I could feel my paleness all over yet what laid in front of me captured my full attention. Those tears while once rolled down my eyes are now dried like my soul- nutritionless.- like what she use to say. Her hand so cold, marked with bruises, under mines, still I was helpless. I had my new life in front of me however as a part of this nature’s victim.
“Bhaiya I can’t find her health card.” Chote tensed up planting huge short breaths, then again, I stayed calm. Not relaxed-just too done with life.
“Call Mr. Gruk and tell to come directly here. She will be treated in front of my eyes in this room. Make this place a hospital if needed.” I demanded although my voice carried the least energy. Chote rushed out of the room once again contacting Mr. Gruk. He had been my family doctor since I remember breathing. I hope he won’t look through all formalities before curing her.
As I looked at her once more, those red scars all over her frame made me burn in all agner, pain and guilt. It was just few hours ago we were together, though with a cold atmosphere, yet together in each other’s invisible embrace. And now she was there in front of me soulless fighting a battle of survival and even if ever survived, which is my only ray, she would still fight choosing to hate herself if not me.
Again that small event ran through my brain. How I finally chose to hold her on with a forever tie and how that gentleman’s call on Push’s call changed our lives in a second. I thought it was joke and reality stood far away from me until I realized Push rushing to the bus stop. I ran after him. Once we got into the bus he explained me how that guy who called found Sumo on the edge of downtown street. I knew it all. Nothing more needed to be explained. Downtown-midnight-drug dealers and all alcoholic spoiled brats. Sumo was simply not safe. My guts came true once we reached there finding her on torn clothes half harassed by some unknown marons. Disgust filled over both me and Chote and I for sure wanted to kill him, if not them. That gentleman was nice enough to drop us home with her and explained how he found her on the corner of the street and went all unprotected since she didn’t have anything but her phone.
The paleness of her body threatened me while those marks and scratches burned my soul. Unconsciously, but still I wanted to be the only one righting over her and that lustre is what I named love. But the reality looked so different. I hurted her so much that even if she wakes up recalling every bit of her life, her hatred for me won’t be shocking. Only if I accepted her love on the bus stop that leaving her behind like a coward, her fingers too would be now interexchange with mines in terms of forever… only if.
Slowly I let her face come under my shadow as I softly pressed myself against her lips. It felt complete yet cold as the response was undefined zero. I wish she was my sleeping beauty and I was her prince charming helping her to wake up. But then I was not. Controlling my frustration I took back my position in the chair right next to her bed, hold her hand for sometime important. Things can’t be changed, but can be improved. I vowed, second time in my life, smiling recalling old ones, “I promise, to stand by till the last ray of yours is visible in the lines of infinity….”
Next update by following weekend
Till then take care and keep rocking!