Why does it still affect??? 8 (why me???)
Sorry Sorry Sorry for so late update. Really sorry. I hope you all have not forgotten my ff and you have you can go on the link www.tellyupdates.com/still-affect-7-family/
THANKS FOR YOUR LOVE, SUPPORT AND SUGGESTIONS
THANKS Priyanshi, Sravya, Atiya, Shreya, Ruchita, Shabrin, Sunaina, Taiana, Bhuvi, Siya, Meesha, Zoya Fathima, Meghs, Angel, Mahi, Surbhi, Twinkle, Aashi, Nandini, Richa.
PRIYANSHI: Not professionally dear swara just does this for her own brand.
ATIYA: Okay So you are deeply and madly in love with Laksh but he is sacrificing due to his old mistake and after flashback you will be clear about these things.
SHREYA: Dear you will get all your answers once I will start showing fb. So please just wait and read.
SHABRIN: To tell you the secret it will be your favorite pair but I won’t reveal it to everyone as you are my sweet little sissy so my gift for you.
AASHI: In that case I would like to request you to read few upcoming posts because may be after reading fb you will be able to see the difference between my ff and others. And you don’t need to say sorry if you don’t like it. Really thank you that you cleared that you are not liking it. It will really help me for good.
NANDINI: Oh thank you so much if you liked it.
Swara’s point of view:
Oh god I am so excited. Like really excited. I am going to meet Ap aunty. When Laksh’s name flashed on my phone, I was shocked. In these 4 years we never texted, we never talked and today he suddenly came to meet me and now messaged me!!! My mind suddenly send me the red signal but no I trust him enough to guess that he won’t do anything wrong than breaking my heart. Because he has already done the worst. He has already damaged the maximum he could now I have nothing to give him and now he has nothing to take from me. So it will be better if I will just read his text.
“I told maa that I went to meet you. She is really excited to see you. I know you would be very busy with your appointments but if you can just manage a little part of your long day for my mother, for your mother.
I know angel I screwed up everything I had. Believe me I came there today morning to tell you the same but could not collect the guts. That relation which I broke was not just about me and you, our family were also involved and I am such a jacka** that I ruined everything. Today I realized it when I saw tears in your mother’s eyes. I am really really sorry angel. Believe me I am.
You know right that I always ruin things and you always manage them. Just for the old time’s sake come here once.
If you are thinking that I am apologizing just to make sure that you come to meet my mother. Then you are wrong angel. I know you have no reasons to believe me but please just for my family’s sake.
If you want me to not present then I will make sure that I won’t be present. Just tell me the time.”
My heart is continuously asking me what this is. A person who can apologize like 1000 times for his mother but can never apologize to make me feel better. How can a person be so much different to two different persons??? I want to cry like bitterly cry. Why me??? I always tried to be flower for everyone then why thrones for me??? Why always me???
I know our family is suffering. My mom often ask me about him and when I tell her that I don’t know then she gets upset. Our parents were really good friends. When dad died uncle stood behind us like a wall. He helped mom a lot with understanding business. Always in absence of mom auntie used to look after me. When dad died I would have stayed like countless days in his house. I miss you dad. I really do. There is still a 12 year old girl inside me who waits for her father every evening.
I wait for you, dad. I want to you to come and take me in your arms and spin me like you are the happiest person in this world because you have a daughter like me. You know dad everyone calls me princess, angel, doll but you used to make me feel like that. I know I am being selfish. You must be enjoying your meeting with god. Hey dad you have not started dating any angel, right??? I know you have not. You love your sumi and you always will. But I need you dad. I want to be with you. Everyone thinks that I have overcome of this loss but you know na dad I can never. But yes now I have gift send by you that is Sanskar. He cares for me the same way as you used to do dad. He never leave any single chance to pamper me. He always make me feel that he is really the most lucky person as he has me. Thanks you Dad for sending him.
When my dad died everyone thought I will be the most miserable. When I did not allow any tear to fall from my eyes my mom consulted psychiatrist but even that psychiatrist could not find my pain. I am such a nice actor!!! I was broken, shattered but acted just for my mom. I know she would have never left my side if I would have kept crying so I let my heart cry day and night and made my mind ready to face this world with a smile. That time only my lucky knew what I am going through. He knew. He used to sit by my side and let me cry on his shoulder. But that lucky was murdered by this Laksh. Laksh killed my lucky.
That lucky was immature but this Laksh is a heart breaker.
I would have corrected everything if my lucky would have made this mistake but no this time Laksh has made the mistake and I can’t correct any stranger’s mistake.
I am ready to meet maheshwaris. I thought to go with Sanskar but can’t find him in house. Such a jerk he is!!! He called my assistant and made her cancel all meeting and now left with Sanchi for signing some stupid sponsorship paper.
These days he has become such a workaholic!!! I have to talk about it to him. Yes always work comes first for us but we never minimize our time for any stupid office work. I will really kill Sanchi for taking him with her. He is like an addiction for me. I need him. I know my family can’t understand this but I really don’t even care what my family thinks. I just want sanskar to be with me and I know he will.
Laksh’s point of view:
I messaged her to come here and told her to tell me the time when she will come so I could make sure that I won’t be at house at that time but she did not reply. I know she has read it but still she did not reply. I doubt she is coming or not. As much as I know her she will definitely come.
But what if as this Laksh killed old lucky he might has killed my old angel as well. No god, punish me to the eternity but not her. I know I can’t get her in this birth but I swear god in next birth she will be mine. I can sacrifice her once not every time.
There is a knock on main door. I don’t understand who visit other’s house on the very first day of new year.
“ Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you” My mom said.
“ listen everyone, see who is there” My mom called everyone.
Uff again downstairs. I can hear the familiar giggling sound. Oh my god, she came!!! She came!!!
Laksh has not killed her angel. This laksh is not as bad as I used to think. Don’t know why after 4 years I am feeling like I am also a person. I want to laugh. I want to drag her in corner and hug her, kiss her until her knees melt down as I used to do in college days.
Yeah!!! I am going downstairs.
There she is standing like angel and talking to my family. I still wonder how anyone can look so good, so beautiful. I can’t control myself.
In advance I want to apologize to my fiancé because today I want to suspend this Laksh. I want to be her lucky. I know this will be cheating but today any manners can’t stop me. I don’t know this feeling is because of the news that she cam or because of the fact that this is the last time I am seeing her or both. But whatever it is I am not going to suppress it.
“I also missed you all” she said.
I can sense the truth in her voice. I will kill my brother if he will hug her one more time. He is squeezing her in his arms. She can’t breathe. Can’t he just realize that??? This big brother love!!! I know she will die but won’t say anything because she loves my brother as much as Sahil. There he goes again.
“Can’t you see??? She is dying” I said and unwrap her from his arms and took her in my arms. Her face was totally red due to the suffocation.
I hugged her. Why can’t this world just end here??? Why can’t she stay in my arms always??? Why she has to go??? Why I have to leave her??? Why??? Please if anyone can answer. Please. Why my one mistake has to ruin my life??? Why can’t god just forgive my one mistake??? Why???
“Are you okay???” I asked by not letting her go anywhere. Told you today I am old lucky.
“ Water lucky” She asked while coughing.
I led her to kitchen by letting her rest on my shoulder and made her drink water.
“Okay???” I again asked.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes. Her eyes were murderous red and full of water. No I did not assume my day like this.
She left without answering my question and I am here still, like a statue facing the reality. Now I can never be old lucky again because he is dead and if will come back then he will kill the angel standing there. I can’t let that happen. That angel has to live if it costs my happiness then so it is. After all it is my mistake I am here, we are here.
“ Go to lucky’s room dear. You guys must talk last time before leaving. You go there I am coming there with tea and snacks. Oops sorry coffee for you. I remember” Maa said.
“Aunty, anything made by your hand is good”
“ you are such a sweet heart angel” My mother said and start walking toward kitchen but stopped herself in the mid way.
“ You congratulated him or not???” My mom asked.
“No. Why???” She asked.
“For his engagement. Now you go to his room and talk to him” My mom informed.
I was so busy in watching her didn’t even realize that my mother has planned to drop a bomb. She immediately turned after hearing the news. She left for my room and I followed her.
She is at the window of my room.
“Hey” I wished.
She turned with a smile on her face. What does she think a smile can hide her pain??? I know her better than herself. She is continuously biting her lower lip to control herself. Her eyes are blood red and killing me. Every day I pray for just one thing that is her happiness. I agree I want her to be sad with the news of my engagement but I can’t her see like this. She is killing me.
“Congratulations” She said.
“Are you okay???” I asked her.
“Why would not I. Yeah a little bit angry” She casually informed her.
Can’t she just stop her acting??? Can’t she just cry or slap me??? I can’t see her like this.
“Why???” I asked.
“Actually Sanskar ditched me on a day out.” She informed.
Now she is hurting me the most. How can I be so stupid??? I thought she is sad because of my engagement news. How I missed that she is not with that plastic so obviously she is missing him. How can I??? I hate myself the most. How can I forget that her eyes are like this since the moment she entered in the house???
“So is that why you came here???” I asked her with a hope.
“No. This is not the only reason. I wanted to meet your family but you can tell it the major one” She informed me.
I was dead. I am back to the person who don’t want to smile, don’t want to get happy.
My mother come served us food. They talked and eventually she left.
I am dying but she left. I wanted to apologize but she left.
Sanskar’s point of view:
I am going with Sanchi to her fashion house. I hope my work will be finished before Swara guess that I am not at home. I love to sponsor Sanchi’s shows it really makes me great amount of money.
My heart is beating fast. I hope Swara won’t get angry too much. I will buy her some teddy and chocolates. She is a kid.
“You know my assistant is really beautiful” Sanchi informed me.
“So???” I asked
“So if you want to make my sister in law jealous, you can use her”.
“But why swara will be jealous Sanchi”
“When the day will come that you both will confess”
“There is nothing to confess, Sanchi”.
Why they think that we are hiding our relation??? We love each other but just as friends do. But let me see Sanchi’s assistant. Swara won’t be jealous because we are in love or something but yes if my attention and time will reduce for her then she will obviously freak out.
I love it when swara tells me that how my date is not perfect for me and it happens every time when I have a date.
“Ginni send me the files of new show. Mr. Sharma is here” Sanchi called her employee.
My heart is really beating fast. I hope she is not that Ginni whom I am thinking about. No she can’t be her official name was not Ginni. She can’t be.
“Sanchi, here are the files” the voice said.
Why me??? Why always me??? Yes she is the same person, same girl, my ex-girl friend Ragini gadodia aka Ginni. I don’t know I should be happy that she still uses nick name given by me or sad that I am seeing her.
I can’t stay here, sound of her bangles, music of her anklet, her fragrance everything is filling the air. I can’t stay here not because I love her because I hate her.
Ragini’s point of view:
“Ginni, meet Mr.Sharma. Our sponsor and best friend of my sister in law Swara. Don’t think much he is just her best friend” Sanch said giving a mischievous smile to that guy.
Sanchi is mad. Two weeks ago I have joined this fashion house and in thses two weeks she became my very good friend. She always tells me that how her sister in law and her best friend don’t want to confess about their love.
“Hello Mr. Sharma I am Ragini Gadodia, Sanchi’s assistant” I wished him heading to have a formal hand shake with him.
He stood up and turned. He is in front of my eyes.
“Hello Ginni, how are you these days???” He asked.
But I don’t want to answer him. I just want to see him. I don’t know what I should do. I should dance. No then my eyes will leave his eyes. I want to hug him but again I won’t be able to see him. It’s better I only see him. What if I will lose him again like all my dreams. My heart will explode of happiness. He called me by nick name. He is not angry. He forgave me. He is the only person who found my smile when I lost it first now I have found him I am sure he will find my smile back.
“You both know each other, right???” Sanchi asked.
“Yeah she was in my college with me” He replied.
His statement killed me. His each and every word is killing me like hell.
“You know she is engaged with some Laksh. I have not seen him but I can say he is totally in love with her. He comes every day to drop her and then in every evening to pick her up. What’s his full name dear???” Sanchi Said.
“Laksh Maheshwari” I replied.
He got shocked by hearing the name for one second then next second he started behaving normally. He turned and started talking to Sanchi.
I was behind him but he didn’t even notice me. I didn’t hear a word of their talk but I can say Sanchi is forcing him to accept his love for her sister i law and he was denying but there was a blush on his face.
How can I think that he is still mine, he would be waiting. How can I forget that I left him??? He did not leave me.
How can I forget that he is the same person who is in love with Sanchi’s sister in law???
How can I leave the chance of being the happiest person of the world???
I heard him he called Sanchi’s sister in law shona. I can’t believe he moved on so easily. I agree I left him but love is love. I know I am being selfish but I can’t help.
I remember what Sanchi says about him and swara. It seems like they are so much in love. He has moved on. His eyes had not any pain when he heard about my engagement. Any pain which could give me hope that he still care about me but there was not. Yes but name of swara was making him blush. How can I do this to myself??? I let the most important thing of my life go away from me. Why me???
Sanskar’s point of view:
When she introduced herself I wanted to hold her shoulder and give her the same pain which she has given me. I wanted her to feel the same pain. I wanted her to cry in the way I have cried.
Does she have any idea what I went through all these years??? When she might be romancing with her fiancé I was in my counselling session to fight my addiction of drinks and drugs.
But not any more I won’t let her know what I feel for her. I am sure I don’t love her and if I will show my hatred toward her then she will win seeing me burning in the fire of hatred.
She told us that full name of her fiancé is Laksh maheshwari. Laksh is engaged with Ragini. Does Swara know about this??? Obviously not. If she would have informed then she would be sad. Thanks god.
I need Swara. My body is craving for her hug. My ears need her voice. I need her. I need to throw myself in her arms and cry for as long as I want. I need her wherever she is. (I told you guys that Swara and Sanskar are addiction for each other like drugs and drinks).
“Sanchi, I am calling shona but she is not picking it up. Do you have any idea where she is???”
“No, may be in her office” Sanchi replied.
“No I cancelled all her appointments for today. We planned to have a day out today”.
“Oh I am sorry. I made you ditch her. I am sure she would be in hell like mood now”
“It’s okay but I am going right now” I said.
“Okay all the best for your day out and I guess night out also” Sanchi wished me.
“To you too” I said. Don’t know why but Sanchi’s wild assumption about me and Swara make me smile always.
“So you agree???” Sanchi asked.
“still not” I replied and left.
So from tomorrow flashback will start and I guess it will clear all your confusion about this story. And yes time will tell you the pair. So please just wait and read.
Credit to: Deepa Sharma