Why does it still affect??? (3) ( Want to see but can’t see 1)

girls and guys thanks for your love on both parts of why does it still affect??? i don’t know why tellyupdates didn’t post it on swaragini so if you have not read it and want to read it then here are the links




So the girl is swara and the boy is laksh. but i am not saying that swalak are couples in this fanfiction. please don”t think that. and as in best friends there are friendship between each and every pair in this you will see the love bonding between each and every pair due to their past, present and future. so please don’t assume pairs because you will see love bonding between each and every pair.

thanks advikaa, rhythm(darshini), lahari, venni, ayesha, ahana, jjj, tiya, ruhana, tani, candy, ad musica, kanak, swen woni, sneha, devi, sree, honey, anu, janvi, sravs, revati, divya, susmi, sandy, rih, heena, kri, fan, saumya, roma, nive.
to know the pair keep reading. ragini’s entry will be after some days but don’t worry ragini’s fans she will come with a strong point of view and very strong and kind character so please wait.


My maid called me to inform me that she has come with snacks. I saw her with few biscuits and his favourite fried snacks. She had two cups of coffee in tray and one cup of tea. Two cup of coffee shocked me but I thought my mom would have forgotten that he does not like coffee and send both to let him choose. Maid asked for leave and I approved her and again made myself ready to face him and to be a good host no matter whoever is the guest. I saw him giving a side smile by seeing his favourite snacks and I cursed my mind because even now it feels satisfied seeing him smile. The smoke was coming from food. I could clearly see that mom has served it without even soaking extra oil and he just picked it. Due to its temperature he was tossing that piece from one hand to other so that neither of his hand could get hurt. I was smiling seeing his lifelong childish nature. He kept it in his mouth. I just screamed,” shh watch out”. In the very next second I started cursing my mind to send such a fast signal to my throat. I came in front of him and made an angry face but he just ignored me as I was not there or may be his guilt has made his eyes down. But I want to him to look at me. Say it my ego, feeling of taking revenge or self pride but I want him to look at me and I should ignore him as he does not exist for me. I want him to apologize and I would never forgive him.

I made his tea as he used to like without asking him and put the cup with saucer in such a way so that it should sound but he was still busy in eating. Even now I couldn’t look directly at his face. I simply couldn’t. No matter however I would try to run from the truth, however I say to myself that I am forgotten him but the fact is that I can never forget him. What if I would have looked at him and he would have started giving me same look, same notorious look with that much care and affection, and I knew he won’t but still I couldn’t take risk. I can’t make myself weak again. I remember how much I got broken 4 years ago. I left my city and shifted in Pune. There I started behaving like a living death body; I use to drink every day. From a studious student he converted me into a failure. Yes I failed in first semester of my post graduation. I and my friend have done many efforts to make me normal again. No I couldn’t take risk.

I took my cup of coffee and started leaving for the same corner of terrace then a very familiar voice stopped me. I heard him saying,” hey dollface, this is not fair yaar you started having your coffee without me”.


Maid came, kept the food and left. I saw her gesturing maid to leave. She was coming towards me to serve the tea and snacks. My heart beat was skyrocketing but it was not new for me. It was very usual for me years ago. My heart beat was speeding up just because of the thought that I would finally see her in few seconds. I would see her small nose which becomes red whenever she sees me. I will see her chubby cheeks which I used to pull always. I was going to see her big and deep eyes. Her eyes, what if they will have tears for what I have done to her. No she won’t have she is not that weak.

Strength is in her genes. Her eyes filled with tears that thought were killing me. I can’t see her crying. I decided I wouldn’t see her. And the aroma of snacks helped me in ignoring that thought a lot. When I saw them I felt really happy that mom still remembered what do I like. I smiled but very soon my smile vanished when that snack burnt my tongue. She screamed watch out. Her scream was enough to give my heart a chance to celebrate. My heart started celebrating. It was like that my heart inflated many balloons and left it in my stomach to give me an awkward feeling. The feeling which made me feels like a school going boy. It is not that I am old; I am still young but since when she has left me I have lost the feeling of being young. No girl has that power to give me the same feeling and I guess no one will have also.
I just wanted to tell her to forget the past and to have a new start with me but I know neither I had guts to tell her nor she would have accepted it.

I thought that I would just steal a glance. I prepared my heart but my guilt didn’t allow me to see her. She made my tea and started leaving then she stopped her feet to move further because of a voice. A known voice which was coming from the throat of a known face. But who is he. If he is the same person who I am thinking about then I hate that person. And my hatred is growing as he has called my doll a dollface. I was not able to recognize his face completely but I wanted to make his face unrecognizable by a hard and tight punch on his face. I wanted to say it loudly that no men has the right to call her with such complementary adjectives except I and her brother. I did not want to hear even a word further and for that I had only two options. Either I would break his jaw and stop him from speaking which is not at all good or i should block my ears. I tried my best stop my ear to send messages to brain and I think I succeeded because I didn’t hear anything further.



Credit to: Deepa Sharma


  1. Anu

    Plz plzzzz swasan nd I think it’s sanky only plzz make it swasan nd by the way which is your couple swasan or swalak

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