Why does it still affect??? (11) (college life 1)


Why does it still affect 11 (college life 1)

Okay so I am back with the next part of this ff. I really made you wait for so long. I hope you have not forgotten the storyline.
your comments really won my heart. I don’t really remember all comments but I do remember some. Thanks AASHI your comment was like promoted me not to leave writing this one. You know I thought people like it less than BESTFRIENDS but your comment made me realize that people like this one also. So thank you dear.

And if you have forgotten previous one then please visit


Please read author’s note in the ending of post.

Swara’s point of view:

Hey this is the first day of my college. God I can’t believe I have passed school and now going to read in college.
Last 5 and ½ months were really special and a major turning point. Like seriously major!!! After Valentine ’s Day I and Laksh started living in our own bubble. Nothing changed between us. We still fight like older times, still my mom takes his side and his mom mine but it feels nice, just perfect. It feels nice to have him for myself only.

After we hit puberty and girls started crushing on Laksh I totally left the hope of him ever being mine but here I am today in my car heading to college and in my wonderland with love of my life.

When Sahil came to know about our relation he was like ‘you can’t have a boyfriend, you are my baby sister. What if he hurt you in future? What if this and what if that???’ Believe me when I say that after our sibling meeting my ear was not able to hear anything. Till 2 to 3 hours I was only listening to what if and more and more and what ifs. Hey this is not my fault okay??? Sahil was saying what if like this was the only two words he had learnt to speak.
Okay may be I am exaggerating but he kinda deserves that.

Well thanks to Sanchi, she reminded my brother that his baby sister is not a baby now. She also told him that they also started dating in high school so its not that bad. And the fact that the guy is Laksh also helped. My brother loves Laksh like his own little brother but still I am his most favourite person and he never trusts anyone but him for my happiness. So no matter how many times Sanchi would have tried to stop him from going all harsh on Laksh, Sahil did not control himself.

He called Laksh and gave him a 2 hour long lecture. He mentioned each and every point so Laksh could never forget that he can’t make me sad otherwise Sahil will go all ballistic on him. Funny part of that conversation was that even Adarsh was in that room but not to support his little brother. He was supporting my brother. Yeah you heard that right, Adarsh was furious when he came to know that Laksh is dating me. He very seriously told Laksh that I should not be sad in this relationship not even for a nano second and if I will ever be sad Adarsh will show Laksh his not so good and ideal side. Well let me tell you My brother Sahil and Adarsh both were golden boys of their time in school and college. Like perfect in everything. When I and Laksh went in high school our teachers were like ‘oh you are younger sibling of Sharmas nad maheshwaris respectively. Our expectations are high from you.’ No offence I love my brother to death but that pressure always scare me. Well Laksh is not like me. He is carefree. And maybe that is why I love him. Yeah you heard it right I love him. Like I just don’t love him as a friend I am in love with him. I ave not confessed it yet but one day I will.

Oh back to permissions from our family over our dating. After 2 hours of lecture Laksh came to my room and said ‘I am going to be a girl in next birth. This is not fair you did not have to listen to anyone and here I am listening wrath from my own brother leave alone yours’. Well he was really upset so for cheering him I kissed him. Our first kiss!!!
This is not like that was Laksh’s first kiss or mine neither because come on we are teenagers and attraction is obvious. We both have loved each other since eternity but still there were hormones. Now when I think about it I feel really bad that why did not we confess to each other earlier??? If we would have then he would be my first kiss and I would be his. Thank god we both never had been in a serious relationship. I mean Laksh had been in few relationships but that was for maximum 4 days and I have just kissed few in truth or dare game and never ever had been in a relationship before Laksh.

Coming back to our first kiss; it was the most beautiful kiss in the history of kisses and Laksh is the best kisser in the history of kisser. When we finished our first kiss, he was totally shocked. He asked me that why I did that. I never answered him because come on I don’t want to inflate his elephant sized ego more. But the fact is he was looking so cute there whining and pouting about double standard that I could not control myself. When our brothers told our parents they were like happy and ready to get us married. I guess they were happier than us.

When our family allowed our dating then Laksh asked me out; like literally asked me out. He sat on his knees, gave me a red rose and asked me out for a date. That date has everything I love. We went to world of wonders and enjoyed each and every ride. Then we went to water park and Laksh started acting like a typical possessive boyfriend. He always kept a hand on my back to show his claim on me. I was also acting like a b*t*hy girlfriend. Whenever any girl was checking out Laksh I gave them my best glaring face and they totally stopped gushing over him. But there also Laksh won. A guy was continuously staring me and Laksh kissed me in front of him just to show the world that I am his. If it would not be for his love for me then I would have gone complete ballistic on him because I am seriously not a fan of PDA but again when it comes to Laksh I get lost. After water park he told me that he has reserved a seat in an expensive restaurant. But I declined and we settled to street food because come on we are Indian and we can never prefer some restaurant food to street food. After our so called dinner on small bench he asked me to be his girlfriend without any cheesy lines and I agreed. That date was exactly like I have ever dreamt of my first date to be. But after street food party Laksh started whining that how could I choose street food. If you ever want to date Sharma cousins meaning me, my brother and all my cousins you should one thing that we all hate shitty romantic dates. And our partners keep complaining about this nature. Guess there I have added a new name in the list of complainer.

2 or 3 days after my first date there was school farewell party. And if you are thinking that I would have left my studies for my new relationship then you are completely wrong. I was both happy and sad for farewell. Sad because that was the last day of school and happy because I was passing it and going to college. Besides i was going to meet Sanskar there we had really not talked to each other after V’Day and I think he is tensed and up to something.

Theme was Indian and so I wore green anarkali and Laksh said that I was looking exceptionally beautiful. His words not mine. At the party I spotted Sanskar. I tried to confront him that why he was ignoring him last few days he did not answer. I was really tensed for him. He was not behaving normal.
But still we enjoyed, we danced, we shouted and lived like that was the last day of our life. Well it may not be the last day of our life but it surely was the last day of a major part of our life. Then in the ending teacher started giving titles. I won school queen whereas Sanskar won school king. Laksh was really jealous of him but not for the title; he was jealous because of that king-queen dance culture.

I and Sanskar danced on the song I’LL BE by EDWIN McCAIN. I tried to confront him while dance and after lot of pressure he told me that he was busy doing packing since he is going back to Mumbai.
I was shocked by the news would be understatement of century. My friend was going back. We would not meet ever. I know Laksh is my best friend and I still had Sara and Alya but I was broken. I and Sanskar have met just few years ago whereas I know Sara and Alya from kindergarten and I have known Laksh for my whole life but still Sanskar has managed to capture a big place in my heart in these few years. Sometime I doubt that place of Sanskar in my heart is a lot bigger than I give credit for. I was devastated from the news but time goes on nd our exams came. After 5 days of our last exam Sanskar left. We gave him a small farewell party but still he was not that happy. I tried to ask him that was anything wrong but he just pushed me away by saying that he is worried about moving in. I told him that if he did not want to then he can stay because frankly speaking I did not want him to leave. I just wanted to make any excuse to stop him but I could not. He has a life there, a family, siblings, relatives and here he had no one. Yeah that hurts that he called me no one. When I asked him to stay for me he directly told me that how could he stay for me. Guess I am not worthy for staying. Well I am not complaining about the fact that I am not worthy staying but he could have said it nice then. I arranged a farewell party and all he gave me in that party was his unfriendly wraths. He left and I did not go to airport to say him good bye but I wanted to.

I really really wanted to see him last time. I miss him and no matter how much I try not thinking about him but I fail. I really can’t understand his statements on our last meeting but Laksh really helped me in diverting attention. He has been extra sweet after he heard what Sanskar said to me. Sara told me that she will drag him from Mumbai and will kick his ass. She said ‘crush or whatever, no one has the right to make me cry’ and Alya was like ‘told you all boys are heartless so he does not deserve your tears’. Yeah you heard it nice I cried for Sanskar. Remember I told you one day that my mind can control my tears but in that case my mind could not. I cried for some 3 or 4 days. Those days my bed was like my best friend. I used to sit on them for hours and cry. Then after few days I realized that I should not make others sad just because of my one friend. I managed myself.

After some 2 months our result came and Sanskar broke my record and I did not top in last year of my school but still I managed to score really good marks and just 0.7 % less than Sanskar. I and Laksh are going to same college because come on Laksh has also scored superb. Less than I and Sanskar but he has sports scholarship in that college so it really helped. I always knew that Laksh is an amazing student he just does not find high marks necessary. He thought that if he did not score good this year then he will not get admission in a nice college so he just scored good.

I picked hospitality for my graduation and Laksh picked Business. We have 2 classes together. After college Laksh regularly has football practice and I have internship to do in the nearby restaurant.

Our college is not that far from our houses so instead of staying in dorms we are staying in our houses and today is the first day so we are going together. So yeah that was my last few months. It really was turning point.

Suddenly I felt a tingling sensation on my cheek and I blush clearly knowing the cause of these beautiful sensations.
“Hey angel!!! Where are you lost???” Laksh asked me. I just shrugged my shoulders. “Just thinking that how our life has changed in last few months” I replied with a smile.
We reached our college.
“We are here” I exclaimed with excitement. Laksh parks the car in parking lot. Well yeah he has turned 18 few weeks ago. After unbuckling our seat belt. I sighed and took a long breath for controlling my nervousness. Laksh smiled seeing it.
School was different. Everybody knew me there but here I have to make a place for me and in this much crowd it is really difficult but Laksh is as usually carefree.
I turned my face in his direction and saw him looking at me adoringly. He leaned to kiss me one but I stopped him. He raised a eyebrow.

“Don’t want to go with swollen lips and faded lip gloss on the first day of college” I reminded him and he scratched back of his neck.
We both hop out of that car and I met my two crazy friends. Sara has chosen literature whereas Alya has chosen Maths so we don’t have any classes together. We all are in same college but our buildings are different. Thank god atleast my and Laksh’s building are same. I am gonna miss chatting with them in class. Class will be boring without them but this is life. After Sanskar left me and that too with such a big fight I understood that everyone will leave you and you should not be dependent on anyone. I agree these all are also my best friends but I always have to act maturely in front of them. I have to be a bigger person in front of them but Sanskar was someone who used to be bigger person for me. I am more responsible for these 3. They expect me to be perfect, they expect me to protect them from this world, they need me to console them, they need me to listen to them but with Sanskar. He used to act more responsible in front of me. I was allowed to make mistakes in his presence. In our relation he was perfect one. He used to protect me from my emotional breakdowns. He used to cheer me up whenever I used to get upset by seeing Laksh with any other girl. He used to console me. He used to listen to me. He used to give me the feeling of protection which only my family can provide. And I took him granted but he left……………

Sanskar’s point of view:

First day of my college!!!! I am happy. I really am but I don’t know why then I can’t smile. I am back in Mumbai in my city, with my people but I feel like I don’t belong here. I know this is just obvious for any new person in city but I am not new here. I am back.

My parents did not force me to come here. They just suggested me to come here and I grab the first opportunity I had to run away from that city. I don’t know I used to love it there but after that so called the day of love I started hating it there. I started acting frustrated.

My parents are totally busy person. They don’t have time for me and my siblings. Yeah my siblings I know I have never told about them but that is because we are not really close. I have one elder sister and one younger brother. Well my sister is married to a famous industrialist in Greece and my younger brother is in boarding school in Chennai. We 3 have nothing in common except one thing we all want to run away from our parents and this hell hole Mumbai that is why I went Delhi for high school but when Laksh proposed Swara I felt like someone is blocking my breath and I decided to come here. I thought my parents and Mumbai is better than Delhi with that feeling.

I was not jealous of Laksh. Believe me I was not. I always knew that swara has to go to Laksh someday. I felt like I have lost the only reason of staying there. I felt that now Swara is never going to be with me, now she will not be there for listen to my problems, now she will spend her full time with him. And I was correct. She only used to spend time with us when Laksh was with any other girl but now she would never leave his side.

And when she will not be beside then why would I stay there. She was the only reason to make me happy there but now I lost that. We could have been in touch but I also lost that. I did not want to hurt her but I could not allow their relation to hurt me. Yeah I would have stayed in Delhi for her. She is worthy staying but what is the benefit of doing that if she is not going to be there for me. I was just a casual friend for her she will forget me and maybe have forgotten me and replaced me with someone new. After all she is Angel people dies to be her friend. In that fight loss was mine. I lost a great friend like her. And I know no one can ever replace her.

She will be happy but if I would have stayed there I would be definitely sad by seeing her busy with someone else. I know I am sounding like a typical lover but believe me I don’t love her. I don’t even think about her in a romantic way. Damn I would be lying or blind if I will say that I was not physically attracted to her but that was just it but still I could not spend full day waiting for that one minute that she will spend with me. I wanted to be there for her always but now she does not need me and leaving her was the first step to make her realize that. I need to move on from her and extend my friend circle but I know if I would have stayed there then I wouldn’t be able to make new friends in her presence that is I ran away.

No matter how many friends I will make here but Angel will always have the major part of my heart. She will always be perfect for me. I know I have left her there but she will never leave my heart and my mind……………

She was a great friend to me and I never forget them or leave them……………


I know I have promised that today will be the first meeting of Ragsan but that will be in next post.
Now coming to couples. See when I started writing best friends my aim was to show real friendship between each and every pair whether it would be swasan, swalak, raglak or ragsan and when I started writing this my aim was to show love story between each and every pair.
So to the people who ship swalak and ragsan be happy because from now onwards some posts will be full of them. There will be romance of swalak, their college problems and will Laksh be able to be faithful to swara. And you will also see Sanskar positive influence on thinking on Ragini. Sanskar will make her love this world again and Ragini will act nicely in making him divert his mind form Swara.

Those who ship swasan also be happy because swasan will never leave each other’s hearts and mind. I agree not in real but in their thinking you guys are going to see emotional connection between them.
Those who ship raglak, really sorry to them because that you will see only when flashback will end.

Credit to: Deepa Sharma

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  1. I read ur all ff… today it self… I loved it…. I thnk so they will end up with swasan. …. as they are in love know… even they both don’t know that. … They were in love even in skool days. … as swara was mad for lucky so she doesn’t understand n sanskar knows his bounds. …. I m saying they were in love as it was sanskar who knew dat she was crying inside in v day… nt lucky. ….. I just love swasan part… waiting for there realisation… dat they are in love… n they were in llove bt didn’t know it… just bcoz frst tym there heart was nt sure n secnd tym there heart was broken… plz soon end this fb…I wanna know what going on present senario. ….One last thng ff is good… BT plz upload soon… or u will lose many admires

  2. Finally You took time for us!! I thought you stopped writing as many others did.. But thank god.. You’re back.. I can understand you might be busy.. But please do update one episode per week!!

  3. Thankgod deepa finally you updated. You know I waited so long for this ff. I thought you discontinued this ff but I was wrong and I am happy with the realization.
    Now coming to the story it was so good all the emotional sides of friendship and love is displayed so well. You are really a very good writer. Keep updating.

  4. awesome deepa . loved it . that means we will get to see all the couples past : swalak ,ragsan present : swasan , raglak . thats nice 🙂

  5. This one awesome Deepa. One of ur best episode so far.. Keep enjoying, keep updating.. 🙂

  6. please keep it swalak please

  7. nice thanks for swalak

  8. Hey!!!How are you? Have u come from ur workshop? Remember me?OK about the epi it’s superb….The way swasan missing each other..really nice and will u post regularly from now on?

  9. Amazing awesome out of the box story

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