Strolling around the space of living room wasn’t helping me much to drift off my mind from her thoughts. After what I’ve done this morning, I was still in shock, thinking about my impulsiveness. That wasn’t someone like me, who was there, proposing her in so much unexpected way.
‘How does it happened?’
OK, I want her in my life but do I need to go beyond my rules of living my life, really?
I don’t believe this shits called marriage. Not a bit. After what, life has forced to me and my dad into, I lost my faith in this things. Love, affection, bond. Wife, mother, women. Everything empty. From inside. Deceiving. In all. They knows to weaken you. Break you. Destroy you. And leave you. To die. Alone.
I saw my dad, fighting every day to get out of the grip of the haunting memories of his failed marriages. I saw him dying everyday, consuming his life in a bottle of liquor. I saw him in so much pain, two women gifted him with, my birth giver and her sister. One didn’t even thought for once before abandoning me after giving birth and other came in a disguise of our saviour to guide us out of misery to leave us in a storm of destruction. And what I left with? A pathetic, suicidal, ruined man on the verge of death, whom I known as my father. It haunt me always, my father’s memory.
No. I’m not the one dad left an image of how vulnerable-a-man-could-be. I can do better than that. Yeah, I’ve been doing like that. I was abandoned as a child, who raised up with the ghost of hollowness all along.
Lucky’s arrival at that time with a light of friendship was another story, then. Bastard, corrupted the word ‘friendship’ too.
When dad was busy crying on his fate almost all his life I grew up in his wounded, weak excuse of parenthood. I don’t blame him entirely. It was that woman’s fault who left me after giving birth to me. And the woman who came with an excuse to look after my well-being but left us with a great sorrow, for the second time. Women. How I used to hate this word? They’re only meant for pleasure. Just one time and that’s it. I was a reckless player. I had slept with all the women I laid my eyes on, with high profile, low dignity, all before meeting her.
Ragini Gadoddia. The name only passed a heavenly sensation all over. Those women never left a trace of their affect on me but she grabbed all my focus in a blink, also after showing the gut to slam that f**king door right on my face. She was nothing like the women I’ve met or slept with. She was different in all means. She never cared how do I look like or my profile or money. She treated me like a trash. Although I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She grew in me more. I wanted her in my bed. Anyhow. I wanted to feel her soft touch, taste her perky lips. I wanted it all to happen soon, but she strike back with her witty comebacks wounding my restlessness again and again, every time. She held her dignity in front of my ego and I keep it in my head to tarnish her sky rocketing dignity at all cost. She was just a prey I was chasing after but I just lost my track to get back to where I was at starting and now here I’m, after making a stupidest move of all time. Proposing her.
I looked around to the source of voice and find Giri standing there with his notepad and cellphone in hand. A shadow in his sharp glare made it clear he was here with some news, I won’t appreciate.
“Shoot it, whatever you have.” I said firmly.
“Miss Gadoddia and Mr Kashyap, they were planning for a court marriage. And eventually, it happens to be the day after tomorrow.” He looked at my face intently as if observing my features.
News wasn’t pleasant for me. I felt it’s burning my half of the senses. Not a single beat skipped without the sting of venom.
‘She choose him over me.’
And it wasn’t before I knew that darkness engulfed my senses, suddenly my mind left control and a vase on its stand just a while ago was shattered down on the floor now with a wall frame getting in its way.
“What the f**king hell!! How could this be even possible?” The man before me flinched in his place with the intensity of my growl. I scared the poor man. I need to calm down.
Silence occupied the space for some time as I tried to cool down my mind.
“Don’t you think, it’s too soon for a registrar marriage to happen, Giri? I mean, he proposed her just two days before and now they’re going for a registrar, how? Its a long process.” I clipped setting aside my fury. Intense fury.
His eyes searched for mine, for a while as if looking for my sudden change of behavior. “Money matters, Sir. Or, may be Mr Kashyap was backed up already with this plan.” His eyes glint with the thought.
“That bastard!” It was just a moment something hit my nerves. A plan. It definitely won’t fit with my principles but on the hit of the moment, where I can almost lose to him, I better choose my self destruction. “He’s playing his way, right. Then let’s play it his way.”
I glanced back with a crook smile slipping on my tight lips to see Giri standing still on his spot, his eyes boring on me. He got what I was thinking. Well, that’s why he’s my PA. He knows me too well.
The words keep ringing over, again and again. This was the midnight hour and my eyes were far away from the world of slumber. Though it was a clear cut no from my side before running away from him this morning but that intensity in his voice was what still hitting around.
‘You have to understand, that, I care for you. You have my child. And Lucky can’t possess this feelings for my child. He won’t be a good father to my child.’
Though, I don’t give a damn what he said but would it be right to thrust my baby’s responsibility on Lucky? He’s already doing many things for us.
‘I was there for you, not him. He doesn’t care Ragini. Don’t marry him.’
Thick tension bundle around my throat. What if Lucky cannot be a good father to my baby?
‘I was there for you not him…’ A burning sensation palpitated in my left side reminiscing the uncalled moments with him.
Here I’m thinking like crazy. What’s happening to me? Am I reconsidering my decision now?
I can’t blackout.
Fear sink inside. Realisation struck hard.
It’s just a day far.
The day after tomorrow.
I won’t be the same I used to be. I’ll be someone’s wife, charity wife. The day after tomorrow. Someone will be dead. Probably, my self-respect. The day after tomorrow. I’ll be completely crushed under the burden of favours Lucky is providing me with. The day after tomorrow. Miss Ragini Gadoddia won’t breathe anymore but someone else. A mother with an ocean of emotion. A wife with just an empty conscience. The day after tomorrow. Everything will be changed. For ever.
Releasing a deep haggard sigh, my wide awake eyes stared up to nothing in a gloom of darkness. Restlessness evident in every beat. When thoughts didn’t stop nagging me, I sat up on the bed, feeling pure irritation.
“What the heck now? Can’t I have a perfect sleep also?”
Grabbing my cellphone from the night stand, I checked the time, 2: 13 a.m.
It’s all because of him. That arrogant beast. Twisted head of imbecile, Sanskar Maheswari. If not for his egoistic sinful desire, I wouldn’t have end up here like this. I’ve became a charity case for God’s sake. I can’t stand my ground for my sanity now, without Lucky helping me out. Such a shame life has become. Nothing’s mine now. Not even the self-respect, I was proud of once. That jerk snatched everything. He destroyed me successfully, if it’s what he wanted. And that’s not enough for him that he’s still after me.
He proposed me! Like, hell I would even consider him even as a man after all that he did to me. Crude Maheswari.
My cellphone beeped with a message in my hand. An unknown no.
‘We need to sort out something important. Don’t do the stupidity to ignore it. I want a harmless conversation. Just Us. You and me. And our baby. Today. 11: 15 a.m. At your house. Don’t be late.’
“Like I would care.”
Before I could say anything further it beeped again.
‘You don’t want me to set a countdown if you care, do you? So, Today. 11: 15 a.m.’
Heat flushed me. Every nerve spread burning liquid.
“I wish you would die you creep.”
Standing in a black tuxedo was none other than the beast himself when she reach outside her home. His eyes raked her body in a long free coat, shamelessly which she tried to ignore.
“I thought it was only us, meeting here.” She ushered passed him, giving a quick glance towards Giri.
“Are you disappointed that we would not have a lone time?” His eyes swirled with mischief while closing the gap between them. “Then don’t worry, we’ll have a lot of time hereafter.” His hand went to brush her free cascading black hair.
In a slight motion she turn around to get inside her now vacant home, her long hair brushing him in the process. He stilled for a minute, fruity smell filling in his lungs.
“Giri, you wait here.” Shooting his order, he followed her inside.
Reaching near the doorway he looked at her fragile figure roaming around her dear place, with lot of emotions washing over her face. A moment of her pained glimpse and his body urged him to crushed her in himself, completely. Unknowingly, his steps lead him to her. As he came near her, his eyes landed on her teary face in front of her parents picture hanging on the wall. Her closed eyes giving way to flow her emotion, cheeks glistening with flow, nose constricting with every intake but his eyes heated up stopping on her perky, trembling red lips. Closeness stirred his cravings. Her heavenly fragrance lured him more. Torturing knocking followed on his left side of chest with the reminiscence of their closeness. Everything replayed in his head, her softness, warmth and feel. His mind stopped functioning straight, that knowing though she was high on emotional waves and pregnant with his own child, he felt the need to take her, right there.
“I want it all to stop.” Her voice pierced through his lust covered senses.
Forcing a lot of restraint on his wild thoughts he closed his eyes as if processing what she just said.
“I’ve had this enough. I don’t want to drag something worthless so long. Let’s just get our way. You go yours and I’ll let mine.” She added wryly.
Stung. He spent a moment to stare at her.
“I’ve better idea. Better than yours dear.” His eyes gleamed with amusement looking at her lips twitching in frown. Craving crawled up to consume those clamp luscious lips, in him as he poured atll his focus there. “Oh dear Almighty! You should stop doing that my lady.” He grumbled hoarsely, closing his eyes.
She shot him a glare, irritated and looked away as if he wasn’t there anymore.
“I don’t know, why I’ve come here but let me clear, I’m not afraid of you or any of your threats. I came here to close it all in once for ever. I don’t want you sneaking or stalking around me. You had your way with me. You had it all. So, don’t try to push the limit now, Mr Maheswari. I freaking hate to have you near me a second much and you’re yet not stopping with your idiotic purposes. OK, I don’t have any problem whatever you do but do it out of my way. Stop obsessing over nothing and leave me alone.” She cleared out everything in a breath as he stood still holding stupid grin on his face.
“That never gonna happen.” His hand waved in a dismissive way. “Let’s clear everything.” His eyes locked with her intently. “I. Want. My. Baby.”
“You sicko! It’s my baby. Don’t you dare call it yours.” She pushed him on his chest but his hand locked hers instantly.
“Calm down dear. Let me clear first.” His arms locked her from struggling. “If you don’t listen to me now then you’ll regret it later.” He said seriously.
As if in a cue she stopped.
“Giri! Now.” He muttered adjusting Bluetooth on his ear.
In no time Giri stepped inside with a middle aged man holding a file in his hand. With a slight nod that man handed that blue file to her.
“Whats this?” She boggled in confusion.
“Mr Shah, explain her properly.” Sanskar’s voice piped in.
“Hello Miss Gadoddia. I’m advocate Mridul Shah and this are custody papers. Legal notice to case hearings to judgment, everything’s here.”
“What??” Her eyes popped out in horror.
“Don’t worry, its just a draft. But trust me, Mr Sanskar Maheswari has a great points to win this over. He is eligible to take this custody in every means. More than you Miss. He is actual father of the child. He is financially fit. Which in your case doesn’t fulfill. And if you marry another man then my client’s graph of winning this case will heighten up more. I’m very much sure, this custody case goes in his favor.” Mr Shah’s face stick on his professional seriousness, sending chilly shiver down her spine.
Her gaze turn back to only pair of brown scrutinizing eyes, anger flickering slowly.
“You spineless moron! How could you stoop this low?” She lunged for him.
A hard slap echoed inside the room followed by many and at last it stopped. She plop down on the near chair.
“Gentlemen! You two can wait us outside.” Sanskar uttered firmly.
His gaze shift back to her infuriated, trembling posture.
“I can do anything if it means I can get anything I wanted and you know it very well. And this time, its about my baby and I won’t let anyone else raise my child in my place. If I know better, I can’t even trust you, with my baby after your stupidity to get married to that bastard.” He uttered harshly.
“Trust me, you don’t know anything.” She snarled looking at him, “Do you even know how many girls’ life you’ve destroyed in the first place? And how many in them have gone through this situation? I don’t doubt that you’ve definitely created a small town with your own flesh and blood if you claim everyone of them.”
As soon as she stopped ranting his broad hand locked her shoulder in his iron grip. Her eyes blazed with fury and clashed with his equally angry eyes.
“Stop throwing your dirty accusation on me.” His eyes burned through her. “OK, I slept with, I don’t know how many women but it never reached that situation. I’m not that stupid to shut my mind from using protection just for f**k. It just happened once. And that’s only with you.” His gaze shifted back to soft. “I just want to give him what he’s entitled to. And I’m definitely one important person he will need in his future. His father. I won’t deprived him from those.”
“But I don’t even want your shadow to reach me or my baby?”
“I. Want. My. Baby. That’s it. And if you do too then we need to hurry up.” He turned around to leave.
“Where are we going?”
“Baby bear! I’m going out. Tell Ragu that I’ll be late.” Swara walked through the alley side glancing her brother on the balcony.
When there wasn’t any answer from other side she turned back to the balcony.
“I…I… kind of…love you.” Tarang’s voice faltered with a strained breathing.
“Good going man. Keep up.” Samir whispered by his side with an appreciation.
Her eyes widened in shock as mouth gaped down looking at the boys, unknown of her presence.
Then as if a shift of the air Tarang blew out a heavy breath. “Ok, I have it all. Anny, I love you.”
“Are you serious???”
Both the boys turned with a jerk. A horrified look covered their face.
Both muttered in a sync, their face paled as she approached forward to them and in a swift tuck she grasped the hold of cellphone from Tarang.
“Hello. May I know who is this?” She uttered in a thick tone.
Silence followed the other side as the her brother’s face tensed up.
“Well, if you want to know then, I’m your would be boyfriend’s sister Swara Gadoddia. Now, will you speak?”
Her brother’s face brighten up with a gleam and a sweet, tensed voice broke from other side.
“Hello. I’m Anny Cathryn.”
“Don’t tell me you’re Amy’s sister.” Swara chuckled heartily. “Hey, I’m just joking.”
“It’s Ok. I actually have a twin sister named Amy. She’s a reporter in GRAMs media house.”
“Oh god! We’ll definitely meeting soon then. I’m going out shopping with her, ya know. She’s my colleague. Well, right now I’ve to go. So, talk with your…umh…hhh.” Swara winked to the boys, playfully and gave back the phone.
“What?? Did I hear you say Swara Di?” Swara widened her eyes in shock looking at Tarang’s baffled face.
“Please, don’t tell Ragu Di. I, myself tell her.” Tarang pleaded in a low voice.
“Don’t worry man. Our Swara Di is cool. She’ll definitely understand the situation.” Samir piped in with a cheeky smile.
“Stop buttering you two. We’ll talk this later.” Giving sharp glare she left them.
She was crossing a corridor when her eyes stuck on the close door of a room. In this few month she had grew a fascination with this particular locked room. And a tug she felt on her heart. She walked over to the door. Door has no lock this time. Her heart flipped unusually.
She pushed the door open and stepped inside. A dull light surrounded her. As her eyes adjusted in the light a wallframe of a smiley face of a girl came into vision. Without any delay she approach towards for the better view. It was then she realized it was a portrait. There was something scribbled on the left side on the bottom of it.
“The eyes, I want to see my world through,
Its yours____Sunshine.” She mumbled the scribbles.
Suddenly she felt someone’s presence and in a hurry her feet lost its balance and she fell down on a bed. Precisely, on a manly posture laying on the bed and a squeak escaped her.
Her heart stopped beating for a moment hearing his hazy voice and a band of arms snaked around her dragging closer. Her eyes widened in fear looking at his drowsy eyes. His hand came to outline her eyes. A soft touch, enough to give her tremors. Then something flicker in his eyes. Realization.
“What the hell. What are you doing here?” She was pushed back from him.
“I was just…”
“Get out.” Before she could say anything further he barked, his eyes spitting fires.
My eyes bored on the cellphone on my hand, numerous missed calls from Swara, Tarang, Samir and Lucky. It was evening time and I wasn’t getting a little gut to go tell them. Tell them that I got married with the nightmare of my life. What will be their reaction? God! never in my life I’d ever thought this all would happen one day. Everything lost. I lost it all over. His evils swallowed my light. My dignity? Crushed. My self-respect? Tarnished. My life? Ruined. Everything finished in one note, life will never be justifiable. It’s about complains. And, try as much as you’d do to get away from those evils, it’ll eventually make its way to break you. I can’t believe still, that I got married to the beast I wouldn’t even count as a man. I end up with someone I hate from the bottom of my heart and who belong from the class I hated the most.
His voice raised my frustration.
“Why don’t you go die somewhere?” I stood in front of him.
His face stoned for a moment. And my blood boiled, seeing him. He was with me this whole day, and it was too much for me to bear his presence around anymore.
“No chance dear. Not before seeing you giving birth to my baby.” He retort smugly.
A tickle ran over my nerves and warmth gushed over hearing him. It felt weird that it’s him again, giving me this weird sensation and as much as I hate him I couldn’t stop myself from picturing myself giving birth to a life. An innocent life. A new feeling bubble up the surface and I felt my lips crack up in a smile. Tiny smile.
“Are you blushing?”
“I…I…Its hot. And why would I blush? That too, before you?” I blabbered stupidly and shot him a glare while turning other side.
“Maybe, I’ve mistaken. After all, early February evenings are supposed to be hot.” He drawled playfully.
I kept quiet. Still facing other side. Bubble of laughter stopping on the tip of my tongue as alien tickles ran over my swollen belly.
‘Oh god! Was that mood swings any less that you gift this new sensation to torture me?’ I clutched my belly controlling myself.
“What happen?” He stood in front of me his one hand guiding down my belly that I stopped midway, while other wrapped around my shoulder and what I see when I gaze at his face was concern written over there.
“Do you need any medical attention? Oh! I’m such a stupid, you do need it…” His face turned into panicked one.
“I’m fine.” I whispered feeling him restless.
“Really?” His eyes fixed on mine deeply and I nodded.
Well, I don’t know why I did that all but It didn’t felt so wrong to behave properly to him for a split second.
‘I think, its what calls mood swings.’
Then suddenly my cellphone vibrated in my hand. Screen flashed with the name Swara. Realisation struck. Heat crippled up. Pushing away with a jerk I turned my around avoiding looking at him.
“I want to go home.”
“Bhai! Ragini Di isn’t home yet?” Samir said as soon as Lucky entered inside the mansion.
“What?” Lucky look down at his watch, “Its goddamn 11: 30 of the night.”
“We’ve been calling her from long but she isn’t responding.” Tarang stood tensed.
“Where would she go? Has she told you anything where exactly was she going?” Lucky glared at them.
Both nodded in negative.
“Where is Swara?” His gaze roamed around.
“She got some important project to deal with. She informed that she won’t come before 1: 00.” Tarang said in strained voice.
“Is she mad? How can she stay there that long?” He muttered inside. “You guys stay here. I’ll see, what can I do?” He turn around to leave.
Suddenly his mobile phone buzzed up and his eyes narrowed seeing the no. Closing his eyes irritated he respond the call.
“Listen, I’m not in a mood to have any nonsense right now…”
“Cool down man. I’m just trying to help you out.” The voice respond in an ease from other side.
“Don’t worry about Ragini. She’s alright.”
With that his eyes narrowed in fury.
“You f**kerd! Where is she?”
“Where she belongs to. Well, I’ve send you something. Go check your email. And Goodnight.”
The call went dead.
He pluck out his laptop hurriedly and checked on his email. As soon as his eyes discovered the surprise he became numb.
“What happened bhai?” Samir came by his side.
“Ragini and Sanky.” After a little pause he looked up at his brother, “They’re married.” He whispered dumbstruck.
An icy silence occurred. Then his eyes stuck on another dumbstruck figure standing on the doorway. Swara.
“How could you do that?” She barked at him.
“They needed to be aware. I just informed them.”
“I’ve asked you to drive me back to my place. What the hell is this place?”
“This is our home. By the way, you asked me to ride you back to your place which I did. Because technically, my place is now your place.” He smirked looking at her. “And fell into sleep during right back to home and I didn’t want to wake you up then. After all, your comfort decides the comfort of my baby.”
A frown covered her face as she bit down her lip tight to screamed out her frustration.
“I might be a challenge for you Mr Sanskar Maheswari but never dare to drag my baby into your sick games. I’m warning you. Stay. Away. From. Me. And. My baby.” She jabbed her fingers on his front, locking her sharp gaze with his.
His hands lift up to catch hers instantly and in a slight motion his hand held her captive in his secured embrace. An intense, dangerous blur covering his sight, she felt fear sinking in her guts. A stingy shiver ran down her spine and she leaned back as his head lower down to meet hers. In a fluid motion his one hand gripped on her mass of free hair, stopping her in her move then her heart pound with a dub…sound as his hot, ragged breath came into contact with her flushed skin. A painful pleasure, she felt and she closed her eyes tight to shut everything for a moment.
‘What’s happening? I never wanted this. Not with him…’
Thoughts remained unprocessed as his lips touched hers lightly, passing jolts of electric shocks to her nerves. Feathery touch ran over her face leaving a warm tickling sensation over there and she felt her heart pounding in another beat that she was unknown of.
“Do it again and I won’t guarantee any stopping from my part the next time.” He whispered hoarsely if in so much pain. His eyes, still in the affect of haziness, looked deep down in her crystal eyes. “Push me away, I’ll come back to you with twice of your strength Mis…ahh…Mrs Ragini Sanskar Maheswari.” His eyes blazed with satisfaction as lips curved in a smile.
“You know what, you’re sick. I hate you.” She scrunched up her nose in fury and disgust.
“What most important is, I’m your husband now. You have to bear me and my everything.” He smirked looking down at her outrageous black eyes with a mischief. “Well, you already have one.” He declared proudly, his hand running down to touch her belly.
She stiffened on her spot, in his embrace. There was no way for her to move as his hand caressed her belly longingly, a gleam of completeness twinkling his eyes. For a sweet moment she lost her sense to push him away, that he was someone she shouldn’t be near of. But then a little force knocked on her senses and a cry escaped her mouth.
“He kicked again.” His thick outburst echoed in the room and his other hand also came down to caress her belly in a gentle manner. “I felt it. He kicked.”
“Stop it. And stay away.” She jerked his hand off of her and moved away from him. “I want a separate room and if you really care about baby then don’t come near me, again. This time, show some self-respect to hold onto your words.”
Thank you so much for reading.
Hey guys, I’ll wrapped it up in 28th chapter. 7 more chapters on the way. But before that, I need a break. EXAM TIME. Wish my luck. Well, as soon as it finish I’ll come back. Till then,
SPREAD POSITIVITY, TA…TA…N KEEPSMILING DEA…S.