siya ke ram

The one who can understand Sita can appreciate any woman of any culture or era, for Sita is central to the feminine mind. Rama is always in awe of her. Whenever faced with a sticky situation, Rama waits calmly but Sita is gutsy; she stands up and speaks her mind and if her decision proves to be wrong, she either apologises or pays for it.

Much fuss is made over the lifting of the Shiva bow by Rama in front of thousands of potential grooms at Sita’s swayamvara but no one talks of how effortlessly Sita lifted the bow as a child. Parashurama had advised King Janaka to get Sita married only to the person who could lift the bow. Rama finally does the deed she never once reminds him how it was child’s play for her.

Rama is praised for his calmness when he is banished to the forest by stepmother Kaikeyi for fourteen years but Sita is a step ahead; she imposes exile on herself, rejecting palace comforts so that she can go with Rama.
She takes it upon herself to provide Rama with a motive to kill all demons and begins to chart out a plan. She acts the defenceless woman in front of demoness Surpanakha who is enamoured by Rams looks. Then Sita asks for the golden deer that even a child would know is artificial, and Rama goes after the deer, to fulfill his wife’s wishes, leaving brother Lakshmana to guard her.

Hearing Rama’s call for help, Sita sends Lakshmana to check despite his protests – she even accuses him of dereliction of duty to his brother and when that does not work, implies that he was trying to stay with her because of her beauty, thereby forcing him to leave — and then confidently waits for Ravana to abduct her, so that Rama gets a sound motive. When Hanuman comes to Ashokavana to rescue her, Sita refuses to let him carry her on his back to safety for she wanted Rama to emerge hero and saviour.

Sita is not the victim, rather she calls the shots. She loves Rama yet checks him when necessary; she can confidently scold her abductor Ravana by holding just a straw; she walks into the fire with her head held high, never justifying to anyone why she wanted the golden deer. Never once demands any support for bringing up her children as a single mother.

In each situation she raises her voice for the right reasons even as Rama is busy balancing roles. Sita chooses a dramatic exit by asking the mother earth to take her away, leaving Rama to exit via the holy Saryu River. A perfect script for the hero, yet it is the heroine who walks away with applause, cheers and tears.