Short Story: Thanks To My Cancer (Updated)

You like, ‘Gotcha!!!’? Yep, mercy me, the same Thena…this time with a one shot so that thot cud give an end at a time at least. Giving the note in prior here, b’cos I just wanna warn u all. Nah! Don’t be out of the box. Actually, this plot came up suddenly when I was one day musing sitting by my bedroom window. Like wat n how is to be misjudging, misunderstanding, opinionated, presumptuous, and moreover loving and loved. What cud the impacts cost n how severe they be, too. Still then, how well the severity takes your very ground up? That depends. Trust me, that seriously depends. The ground is shaken or not, that depends on how well you revere your own ideas come what may. That’s wat possesses the ultimate power to control your every cell. Nothing from the vast sources of the external cosmos can decide what you’re at any given instant or decided.

I donno wat to call the genre of the plot as but sure to a fault that am not gonna call this as tragic. This isn’t that. This isn’t something cool either. One thing nonetheless to be confessed, while writing, I enjoyed each bit of it, felt each emotion, and very, very light at the end.

Don’t tell me I didn’t warn u. beware. brace urself. Read at ur own risk.

November 15

Dear me!!! The wild poundings at my chest are terribly painful. I feel a whole different me now. Never have before imagined of me like this. All cold hands and feet. Laboured breathing just by writing this. Ufff!!! Can’t be jumpier, I swear on god’ name. Trust me, it wasn’t me a mouse today, but that one…only one formidable look…and I couldn’t continue with my moving legs towards him. Fish! I’m cringing that I flipped around so embarrassingly. Why the hell that steadfast wolf should regard me like that every time he sees me!Only very brief business talks and nothing more. If you happen to receive that gaze straight, trust me, you too suffer that frostbite all over your spine and be caught off balance.But, but, but…hold on. There’ no way I’m not gonna meet him tomorrow at the earliest.

You can, Radhika! Girl, come on! You can! Three cheers to me.

My fierce resolution that Imma witness those forever narrowed austere eyes shining with love meant only for me. Thatgiant wave of ancient forlornnessalways swamping that evil-looking stance and gait, those strong manly arms, that unsympathetic long legs, the forbidding rude stubble and all that…Mind it, ALL THAT…Imma kiss away that wave with a thriving force. I felt this massive urge in me the day his mom ran out on his father and him for the other man (well, as per the whispers). Doesn’t that poor soul need love and care? Love and care of MINE?ONLY MINE? I’ve an overwhelming surge that the melancholy tinge on his face to be washed away with my crazy impetuous kisses. The surge is as fierce as fire that I wanna give him everything of what that defines my very existence on this universe. Imma shower him with all the love that brooding bloke deserves. Nothing won’t intimidate me from speaking my heart anymore. No more taking in that hellish flesh piercing gazes which have the ultimate tendency to stop my heart.

You know what? I suddenly have a strong hunch that devil tooloves me with all his will. Like ‘to the infinity and beyond’ type. Now, don’t ask me how and why I’ve this feeling. To the point, I’ve sensed (don’t you too dare say it would be one of my typical fancies!!!) him eyeing me intently that really can drill a wintryhole into my flesh. Where does it strike wrong yet? What the hell does he think of me? A delicate doll or something! Is he frigging sacrificing! Crap! He may not be rich now, not the same Arjun Mehra, but I’m not pampered here though. Nobody knows that including you. Lemme spill that now. The swinish materialistic man and woman here aren’t my beloved parents as they f**king appear outside. He is my father’ twin brother in truth. You remember the time Mani Bhaiya been fired? I cried to you but didn’t tell you the cause, aye? Actually, he told me this inside the kitchen in all hush-hush voicethat I was moved to this city when I was just a four-month-old. I’m gonna disclose to my Arjun they aren’t my biological parents and I’m not happy here.I’m not a princess here but a mere captive who possesses the magical power they are in need of. The real fact is I can take over my papa’ property the day I turn 25. It’s only the shitty crores of frigging money which have the avaricious people proffer me a shelter here. I feel like a refugee at my own home (or called so). Like an outcast. Like a beggar. You can’t guess how thorny that is and I so despairingly need that hard-warmplace beneath his shirt. Only that confined sturdyplace I gladly bury my face until I know it myself I died. See, I’m turning emotional. God, haha…I’m tearing out. Ouch! sorry, I drenched you. Alright! Lemme clean you, my poor company. My nose sucks this bad.

Come on! Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Three cheers to me!

Lemme see how those ebony eyes will regard me then. Even after listening to my confession, dare he keep mum, I kiss that grim mouth outright. That’s avowal and you’re the witness. If he kisses me back taking my breath away, everything will be all right. You, tell me now, he’s gonna make me feel right. Please…

Oh! me! I took for granted a big space of you today. Sorry for the overtly profanity today, my dear company. Thanks for being with me since I knew to perceive this world. I even stained you. Sorry for that, too, my dearest. But you know how sappy I’m now. It’s supremely painful. Despo for his love. Don’t wanna turn 25 before he takes me away in his warm arms to the land of unknown. Wish there was no next month.I wonder how would their demeanours be if supposedly they got me signed the will in their favour.Wouldn’t they be upside down? I’m truly terrified now.

Sshh! That greedy footsteps. Can you hear? The baggy b*t*h is coming sweetly to take me to the poisonous dinner. Have to act intact now lest will be denied of my outdoor venture or something more wrenching I can’t possibly think of. Lucky that being allowed to have brief business talks and that it does no end of good to them too. I don’t wanna spoil or give them any clue. And, you, please don’t ever get into her eye lest he’ll belt me for telling you. Fingers crossed.

Wish me good luck for tomorrow morning. In a hell hurry now. Byeeeeeeee

ARJUN’S heavy sigh assaulted the tranquillity of the room after he finished reading those words. On the bed that he was lying, he shifted on his back, keeping the diary wide open that marked the page he just had read, on his chest. A smile automatically perched on his lips as he could now visualize that crystal clear how she’d knocked at his door the next morning.

He was all sombre and bedraggled dashing out of his bed, nonplussed at the frantic beats at his door even before the east turned bright at his foggy window. It took him a great deal of effort to fight out of the tangles of his bedsheets and he was in no crisp sense to activate his fingers for covering his bare torso with any fabric, or correcting his tousled hair either.

With a face that thoroughly detested whoever disturbed his seldom happening slumber, he opened away the doors. Voila! His chest constricted showing no mercy and he was stiffy in no time at the sight of a woman who was sleekly standing there like a newly polishedwater glass. Every time he saw her this happened and he’d to bring in control summoning all his will power lest he’d crawl on her so bad for she was as gorgeous as a picture with those lean arms, long legs and lithe waist; for she was class; for she was bright; for she was graceful;for she was plain and simple; for she was unmistakable; for she was posh; for she was charismatic; for she was mouth-watering; for she was luscious; for she was…his love.

Now there she stood, at his own house, and so he’d a harder time in gathering control than ever. Her aristocratic silky skin, that as if purely intended to murder him for he was nothing but a healthy young man with healthy senses, greatly contrasted the dark olive green frock she wore until her knees with a satin pearl ribbon embracing round her waist, and a matching pearl sling bag hung down at her side.

Several days ago, one evening – the evening of the very day his father finally deserted him in an absolute outspoken fashion– if he hadn’t occurred to pick a neatly folded white paper from his letter box that plainly read,
‘Keep distance. Ms. Mishra will be happy and smiling for long – Mr. Mishra,’
he would’ve roughly snatched her in his arms by now and caged her there forever behind his everlasting latched door. But he incontrovertibly knew she couldn’t be happy and smiling for long by being with him as like her father said in that note, for she was living a life of opulence and he couldn’t give that to her at any cost. Even if he could, that wasn’t any soon; not now. He’d to toil and moil but that would demand his precious young years as he’d been pushed to bankruptcy after his father chosen to abandon him leaving him with a house and some petty crores for his other wife and son. Knocking back the material sophistications his b*t*hy father offered out of his pigeon, he had him managed with only this small woodhouse standing serenely at the outskirts of the hustling-bustling city, and currently in a struggle to start off from the embryonic and come parallel to his father’.

While pursuing like a wounded, hungrybeast, he’d to come up with many business personalities; Mr. Mishra was one of those, where Arjun wouldstart to happen to see her more often than ever before. Every day, she came calm and poised with her father in his royal-blue BMW and went back in the same manner. But didn’t he think his love for her was darkly secretive and ever untold? Was it that Mr. Mishra could read your face so painstakingly? Well, why not, after all he was an assiduous businessman, but then why the heck should he put his priceless daughter right before his eyes every time he visited his enterprise as if teasing his nerves? Perhaps, the rich blood playing a good daddy’ role before the eyes of this daddy’ girl to prevent the colour of a gentleman mask from fading out. Like nothing had happened he easily let his daughter talk about business with him during conferences. And now to his house itself. Darn it, this was the most extreme and torrential!Dirty tricky bastard! But then, however as small the old dude as rat’ ass, he couldn’t lock horns with Mr. Mishra for his real face of cowardice as every word that pristinely white paper braced was as indisputable as written on stone. She could never be the same radiant with him in this house – a full-point fact.

All he could do to take countenance was snub her with his sharp disregarding looks while she was at some considerable distance, but now, that too seemed as a Himalayan task as he was feeling impossibly intoxicated to have her here as he deliberately had never let himself this close to her. Never.

“Won’t you welcome guests insideyour house?” she asked mannerly, her constant eyes on him oddly impenetrable as if she was obstinate about something.

“Uh, eh…yeah, come on in.” He moved aside, letting her in, and latched the door behind her. “Have a seat,” he croaked briefly, sensing his control dangerously slip as she was fragrances of nothing but garden-fresh red rosesplucked from his own, personal f**king grave. He wondered if she was anything to him, the very death.

He immediately directed toward the kitchen, thinking of preparing a cup of coffee, so that he could hold on to a conversation without seeing her as well, and by the time the coffee brewed, she would’ve conveyed the message she’d carried to convey, and after emptying the cup she’d make her way out. That seemed the only sensible way for his molten-lava-like throbbing pulses.

“I need to talk.” He heard her say from his back, and the words were strangely strict, falling out decidedly. Quite dazed, he turned to find her still standing, only her bag on the table, and she said, “It’s not about any of my father’ message, or…should I say my so-called father?”

Her elegant brows drew up, he saw her take a full look of him, his body;up and down, up and down…calm and slow, every time when it was the upper part of his body, she was calmer and slower.

He fisted, swearing with the mighty of all his insides as he feared if his eyes watered in the torturing pain. The least he could do the best to his sanity was keeping him from groaning aloud.

The hell! Her feathery lightness was devastated, if there was the next moment…

An unusual glare hued her hazel brown eyes to a different shade as if she grew hugely confident. “He isn’t my father, that’s not my home and they need me only for my own father’ will. I’m not actually a rich heiress because I even don’t know what peril will happento me af…ter…”

Till today he’d no idea what she’d come to say for he’d like a predator leaped on, and grabbing her by her nape and the small of her back, kissed her animally sucking in all those words that had been to be spitted out a second back.

Still he could palpably go slide down the time lane; she easily filled his arms, soft, full and warm. He could sense her sheer shock, her desperate struggle to keep up balance as his passionate clasp on her body was such unceremonious that her heart battered into his ribcage, and her legs weren’t given a solid support that her fingernails poked his shoulders begging for dependency.

He knew she was almost mussed up. Her loosening body which was shackled off of all the rigidness of her young muscles slid down between his legs, and he leaned over her accordingly, unable to let go of the kiss, and her, off his grip. Her response was pleasantly surprising. When he drew back, she was piteous, come apart, beyond the state of just having lost control.

With the view of her long ebony hair cascading down to the wooden floor, he watched at her quickly breathing crimsoned face, her moistened lips deep red as injured, and her palm now sliding over his stubble. “Everything will be alright,” she whispered, every word seemed demanding her energy greatly. “Never let me get out of this place. Keep me with you.”

“That’s a f**king word, baby,” he said in a heady murmur, pulling her up off the floor, whisking to his bedroom.

Deliriously, he came out of his simple clothes and she was made off as well. When his hand that roamed up her smooth back perceived a finely puckered lengthy streak passing diagonally from her waist to her shoulder,meanwhile his eyes witnessed a same pattern running down on her front.

In a least anticipated moment, something suddenly hit him, something of a tormenting force, something indescribable, something gut-wrenching; he let his other hand absently and caressingly trace over the mark on her front.

When his fingers came over the place where her heart was, his sincerity was distracted as she mumbled, “It was years back, I was fourteen.”

“I was whipped at my back,” she continued, understanding his bewilderment as an inky frown creased creepily at his handsome face while he looking down intently at across the mark as if it was scrutable. “As I flicked at the sudden intense smarting, the next one landed right…” she trailed off, throwing her head back, pulling in a quavering breath, when he maddeningly started kissing down the track letting his hot tongue out in circles.

With a loud vulnerable moan, she slumped against the bed on her back receiving his clingy weight on her with a thud.

“I didn’t cry, though,” she warbled in broken whispers. “Will you be able to make me cry?” Oh, f**k! That was the moment he promised himself of never releasing her off to anyone in the world out there. She was his for all his life and she’d no say here come what may.

“Promise me not to scream, baby,” he rasped looking down in her swirling eyes as she just had given him the utmost simply by words. His jaw clenched with the gritting teeth as he made his way inside her hot dampness. “I play bad…” he growled through his chest while pushing him in, and kissed her absorbing her immediate gasping cry.

With a wholesome halt, as though only a step behind at the abrupt discovery of a curled snake on the grass before your feet, Arjun looked down at her. His face as hard as a chiselled marble. Goddammit! She was a virgin!

She smiled as if having got the cause for his sudden breach-of-the-peace. “Play your worst,” she challenged back, cupping his right cheek, the tears that stung her at his abrupt penetration rolled down. She then said she loved him and never ever wanted him to stop. “Let me wash away your sadness with everything of me. Please do amalgamate with me, Arjun” she beseeched, kissing the back of his hand that clutching her shoulder.

He did make love to her, deliriously, never stopped not because of her words but because he was unusually feeling the interference of the soul over his body as the woman beneath him was particularly Radhika Mishra. Jesus, she was beautiful! With him blending with her each atom, he realised he could do and go anything and anywhere, and he suddenly could decipher that the tremendous walls of hurdles up and round him all this time were of sand disguised in serrated rock.

Before dawn renting the darkness through his window, he’d taken her thrice, and now she was on drifting clouds of sleep beneath him, the soft yellow rays warmly stroking her face. He watched down at her, propping on his elbows on either side of her, still was in no mood to create distance between them. The stains on her cheeks, the fresh red marks of biteeverywhere on her slender body, the deranged silky tresses spread along the pillow of his bed, her messy clothes in his very bedroom offered him he marked her as his mate for all his lives.

Failing to the exhaustion, he laid over her, careful not to smother her, but she just snuggled closer into his chest as if she was used to this place since ancient era.

He planted a deep kiss on her forehead. “Love you, sweetheart,” he whispered receiving her sleeping smile, and rolled over along with her before drowning into a blissful slumber he’d ever experienced.

They got married, and surprisingly Mr. Mishra made no trouble when he took the proposal to him just as in formality. While Arjun was all ready and up for a dirty dusting-up in a pure manly anticipation, the other sidesurprisingly didn’t engage in any conflict; not even as a pesky mosquito would do, but all smiling and fatherly blessing. That put him on a serious dubiousness, as the other day, once after home, he dragged her from the backyard swing to the bedroom, impatiently asking her why she’d had to get those streaks on her flesh. Radhika explained she’d been whipped by one of her house’ servantsunder Mr. Mishra’ order for having simply raised a query if she wasn’t their own daughter; and her so called mom applied medicine every night in a fake concern. She snorted in revulsion. Once she told about the will’ arrangement, restlessness brewed down his stomach. Until she was twenty-five, he surmised, Mr. Mishra would send back balls in a tempting easiness letting you not to get quick on the uptake so that he could pounce a volley in time to secure a passing-winner when you were at the worst at expectations. Shit!

His face visibly blackened with the growing frustration pumping inside his veins. “Aw, don’t be, my baby,” Radhika purred, stretching her arms wide open. “Come. Come to me and kiss me, you then see, everything will be all right.” She did that always to find ways to make him feel light, though she wouldn’t be at the moment.

Hours had passed, days, weeks, but nothing had changed about the incessant stay of fire smouldering in the dark deepest of his soul in finding infinitely divergent ways on how Mr. Mishra’ tackles would be.

It was one afternoon, he was sitting on the couch, pensive about his out-of-the-town for the following day.

“You must go, my hot hero,” she mumbled over his lips, driving her forefinger down his stubble while sitting on his lapwithher legs locked round his hips. “Any opportunity isn’t to be taken heedless. Who knows, this might be the true box of treasure. I’m not a kid to have my birthday celebrated.”

She squealed when her place wasn’t on his lap anymore as she got arrested under him. “I didn’t remember like saying you’re a kid, though, isn’t it, sugar?” he poured in mischief, loving her in a desperate fashion. He could never get enough of this woman.

That was her 25th birthday. She might say, but he was in no mood to gamble as she was his back; after all, she was his real treasure. To play it safe, he decided to give the property to Mr. Mishra himself, and so now he was in the district’ courthouse to make arrangements for the documentations.

Oncetheboring-faced office proletarian told him everything was in a fit state, he messaged her.

-Sorry, sugar. I can’t risk. Now come to the courthouse like a good girl-

His mobile vibrated at her immediate reply.

-oh fish! bless you! You know what??? I sensed something fishy in you, you devil!-

-in 30 minutes-

-I’m. already outside the house,mulish devil!-

After around twenty-five minutes, his mobile vibrated again.

-I’m at the main gate. Where are you?-

He came out of the office room, and saw her standing by the gate, putting her head everywhere around the wide campus. The way the pink scarf wrapped round her head from the first floor he was standing in gave her the pure touch of morning freshness.He wondered monsoon’ clime’ meadow couldn’t be better than the way the grass green saree draped round her creamy skin. With a slow smile, he waved at her, and her in-search head stopped at his animation.

Immediately she put her head down with a vehement sniff, angrily working on her phone and he could easily say she was simulating fury. That was funny; a view to watch for life forgetting to feel tedious even a bit.Within a moment, there was one other vibration as he expected. “I swear, you so aren’t spared today, babe,” he murmured down at his phone, shaking his head impossibly as her message read,

-Kiss me. Everything will be all right-

“I told you, poor dude,” a familiar voice echoed behind him tested his memory as he turned around distractedly when he actually wantedbad to look down at her, for he knew for sure she’d be smiling wide now.

He scowled at the unexpectedlyknown face. “Rahul!” he uttered in an exclamation. It was Mr. Mishra’ PA with whom even the casual exchange of glances wasn’t in good terms for no pinpointable reason. “What the hell does that mean anyways?” he said belligerently.


He saw his eyes that was fearsomely meaningful; a momentary lump of alert volleyedinto the hollow of his throat as he intuitively jerked around only to find his dainty woman had gone missing.

“You’re so done,” he yelled between his teeth, clutching Rahul’s collar, and pummelled at his straight nose. “What the hell are you f**kard! Whatever you’re for, if any scratch happens to her…”

Rahul chuckled through his bloodied teeth, wiping his nose, and raised his hands in surrender. “Just no scratch. I promise. Her sim will be active. Trace her. Get her.”

It was nowhere but their own woodhouse she was located. When he reached there frenetically, the room was cluttered, things were strewn everywhere around the floor, and there on the faint browncouch she lay on her back filling it in bright green in a graceful contradiction. He couldn’t see her face as it was thrusted into the crook of the arm rest.

With the painful stiffness of his muscles, he slowly approached her, carefully uttered her name but it didn’t even reach his own ears. Clearing his throat, he swallowed the amassed lump, called her again, dreading what could he do if she wouldn’t stir when he went near her.

“Radhika,” he called again, there was no way he was going to touch her before she answered.

“Come to me,” she crooned, her voice very, very weary; not showing her face yet, her outstretching arm beckoning, though.

“Oh, baby!” He whisked to her with a maniac relief and collected her in his arms. Immediately, she clung on to him with such strength that shook him as her hands took fistfuls of his shirt at his back. She’d never been clingy but a strong nerved.

“I don’t want to die!” she shrieked into his chest, rolling her head vigorously. “Please, Arjun, do something!” she cried out.

His hand that went down her knees, intending to heft her up, shivered at the discovery of something warm and liquid soaking her saree and the cushion that was already dampened greatly. When he introduced it before his face, the sight of the blood tested his ability to balance, his stinging eyes blurred at the helplessness that was propelled at his face with the force as cruel as a sledgehammer.

His lower jaw retracted, throat quivered bad with the dense outrage rising up as he found it difficult to shape up words off his tongue.“Ra…Ra…Radhika…Baby, it’s okay. You’re fine. Let’s, let’s…”

“No, no, no…” She shook her head, desperately cutting him off. “No other hand can touch my skin that way, but…” She shuddered abruptly, her hug became tighter, energy level and voice dropping rapidly, and he reciprocated squeezing his beloved wife to his heart. “my…our…child…”

He froze as she talked no more. No more till the next second, next minute…

Rudely, he broke the hug and took her by a brutal kiss. He kissed her again when she didn’t budge as if sucking her breath in.But nothing turned all right as she’d messaged him just some minutes back. Nothing. She remained the same. Lifeless. Dead.

Hehappened to find out a paper on the table which was white, neat and folded, carrying the words,‘I couldn’t touch her as she smelled fully of you just at the mere sight. Exact definition of pain. She couldn’t be smiling that way. Not for you. Not for long. f**k the heaven and hell. But I told you – Not Mr. Mishra (Needless to conceal. Needless to reveal. Everything is over now)’

The fisted hand with the flexed nerves secured back the crumpled paper into his pocket as it shouldn’t be gotten into the hands of anyone but him. Only him. Only he could give him the pay he deserved.

Mr and Mrs. Mishra were seemingly shattered at such heinous demise of their daughter. Their intolerable pain was conspicuous to him at the burial ground.

No more reasoning, no more analysis for he was totally out of his mind. Frustrated at his inability to fuel the rage in him, he ran to the Mishra mansion for his PA had already been put behind bars by his boss himself.

“Why should you let him get that punishment?” Arjun grumbled out of the incurable vexation. “He should’ve gotten killed by my own hands by now. Why should you have to save him?” Breaking down, he sagged to his knees. The next second, the water jug on the glass table was slashed away to shatter against the wallfollowed by his loud, wild grunt like an uncontrollable beast.

“Oh, my poor lad.” Mr. Mishra lunged for him, bringing him up on his feet, and made him sit in the cushion. “I know how it feels, but that was the legal way to handle the issue,” he calmly said.

“So that you can get him back safe for all your dirty tricks to be played,” he thundered back, jerking his hands away from his shoulders. “Mind it, I’m not going to spare anyone of you for killing that guileless…”

“She should’ve told you, shouldn’t she?” He again put his hand on his shoulder keeping up the same patient level. He heaved a sigh, removing his gold glasses and neatly placed it on the table. He took Arjun’ clasped-together hands within his. “Her mind was poisoned by the black-sheep from my own tent and when I tended to look there away from my busy business dealings, it was too late. She took herself to the distance I couldn’t reach. She was already a smart teen.” When Arjun saw him, his old eyes were sheened with strange layers he couldn’t identify.

“You loved her?” he asked with an utter incredulity.

Mr. Mishra chuckled patting at his shoulder. “Oh, boy, come on, I’m her father,” he said in a cheerful voice, but it wasn’t that, Arjun could sense anew. He wasn’t cheery form his inside as he sounded outside. “She was just a four-month-old lovely infant, smiling at me, in my arms,when my brother was in his funeral bed. Everyone, including the working servants, eyed her because she was easy to claim as her mother too died during her birth. But my brother, he was so frightened and insecure about his daughter’ future. He worried sick and made me promise I would bring up his daughter like my own without showing any difference between my own kids and her. That was the day me and my wife decided not to have children of our own as we felt that you would anyhow give different eyes even if it is unintentional. That would hurt. We moved out of our native town the very day.

You know, she was a peculiar kid. She’d her own world, own rules. Stubborn, strong, full of oneself, had notions on her own, and of course, smart they were. She couldn’t be persuaded easily. I was proud. Proud of everything she innately possessed because that’s all what a skilled entrepreneur should possess. She wouldn’t bother to call a spade a spade. I had my shoulders squared, thinking that I was doing the best in bringing my promise to my brother to fruition. Out of that heady admiration, I failed to keep her in check. Thought she knew to take care of her needs and wants. Even if she felt low, I would constrain my love because I feared my support would turn her emotionally weak and dependable. I even have fired some black sheep who tried to poison her mind but that was all I did behind her back. Never before her face as her impressive solemnness restrained me from making her flexible even a bit…”

Arjun was sitting there mesmerized, caught up with the incidents Mr. Mishra been telling in his typical old, low gruff voice; they were so bright, so colourful as if he could sense the presence of Radhika by flesh and bones. She’d been just exactly what he’d imagined to be. It felt so wonderful to listen to those words. It felt oddly comfortable to get to know he’d been wrong about Mr. Mishra all this while. This feeling lent him a warm healing at somewhere he didn’t know, but at least he knew that was where it was severely injured.

“But when she stood as rigid as a regal princess as I exactly wished, I realized to my dismay she’d become unbiased. Indifferent toward any feeling. She didn’t know to recognise my true love when one night…” his voice turned slurry as his grip on his son-in-law’ hands tightened.

“Sir,” Arjun said concernedly. “Are you all right?”

Suddenly he shook sobbing profusely, surprising Arjun. Quickly, he retained his composure, smoothly wiping his tears with the tissue from his coat.

“I’m, boy.” He patted at him, garnering back his cheeriness. “One night, for the first time, I was about to expose my affection for her. Actually, I was about to, because I got a greatly hurting news that one bastard working from my very mansion lashed my child with an iron whip…” His throat convulsed, surpassing his all visible efforts to keep himself intact.

Arjun found himself at the verge of tearing out at the discernment of what was he coming to say. “Don’t, Mr. Mishra,” he said, not wanting to have the strong soul failing in its attempt. “I knew it,” he confessed after a moment.

“Did she say that to you!” Wonderment was evident in his elderly face.

“Say what?”

“Who was behind that!”

“She told it was you.”

The old man sighed. “Well, that wasn’t a surprise. Greedy of me to think of otherwise in a moment.” He shed a rueful chuckle. “It was in truth, that bastard was Rahul. He did everything in my name so that he thought he could make her away from me.”

Arjun frowned, bitterness spread all over his mouth when he swallowed as he remembered of the folded white papers. “But why did he have to do that!”

“Just as simple a tackle as ABC. He’d to do, so that she would hate me and would rely only on him as I even didn’t get to fathom out that he…”

“loved her,” Arjun finished his sentence. He paused looking down somewhere he’d of no idea, and then snorted. “He thought of doing so,” he continued bleakly. “It was rather a psychic obsession,” he rather mused, ruing the fact he shouldn’t have been blind believing the note in the first place. He wondered if he’d, he wouldn’t have let that so dearly life of his slip away from his arms, and his child would’ve given shape inside her womb. Every time he was doing so, it was like stabbing his own chestwith a dagger as he was feeling as tied down, and as helpless.

Though the enigmatic old man was seemingly stupefied at his knowledge, he didn’t ask how, and he wasn’t willing to talk about that either.

“I came to know of this when he was beaten to a pulp before I got to handle him legally,” Mr. Mishra restarted after a long silence. “I so much wanted to strangle him with my own hands, but my girl child, she wouldn’t love me doing so. She wouldn’t stomach people breaching rules. So, I let him go,” he ended in a slight disappointing murmur, rather talking to himself as if in an effort to convince his own rage.

“You were the only thing she loved so dearly,” the old man spoke again when Arjun been not at all in a mood to utter a word. But this took him to a brisk listener as he suddenly watched him with a great keenness twinkling in his eyes. “I’d never got to witness her crying or laughing before one’ face…maybe that’s why I failed to even become aware of Rahul’ line of thinking who had been joined to me by awell acquainted old chap when he was just twenty. She’d always been secretly emotional. But it was never a moment, she could hide her overflowing love for you. She would’ve fought it, I can bet, but didn’t succeed. She’d it stuck on her forehead…you know, my child’ eyes spontaneously scintillated when she’d see you. She used to do zestful smart notes owing to the next day’ presentation if it’d be you. It made me overflowed with the pure bliss of happiness. At least she could be off her icy wall for someone. I started encouraging her such avidity, letting her do talk to you deliberately, of course, though professionally, as I didn’t want her to grow suspicious…”

He kept talking but Arjun was in his own bubble which was sound proof to any of the worldly noises. He could only see how she’d stolen glances of him time after time, the day she finally come to his house itself, and all their own and only moments. This way he’d never miss her feel and smell and anything else.

Mr. Mishra took him in the warm embrace of his stately form, the paragons of his enterprises, and all other entities of his long run sweats; irrespective of his constant humble denials. Nothing satisfied Arjun’ depth in a right way, though he wasn’t just parallel to his father, but far beyond. His toil was go-distressed-easily worthy and get-your-health-extremely-ruined, too. He wouldn’t be deterred, though, as if it was what he hugely expected. Years ran by, the old man had grown older, and so was Arjun’ health’ deterioration. The bed ridden, poor old man’ concerned advices to take care of himself, too, along with the companyweren’t given values even a bit. He just kept twirling and spinning round all the ever-best delegates all around the world in raising the peak of the Mishra tower even higher.

“Sorry, Mr. Arjun Mehra,” said the doctor, one day, very uncomfortably. “It’s at the final phase.”

“How long will it be?” Arjun couldn’t bring out a proper sensible face relevant to the situation at any cost. “I mean…in the sense, it’ okay. You aren’t sorry,” he managed bluntly.

He now was awaiting the one month or, perhaps, fifteen days to pass, being lain on the hospital bed. The pain off the salubrious richness of the greedily creeping disease eating up at him wasn’t the most terrible but literally, the waiting.

He took the diary up against his chest, and found his leaner fingers fondling the dull brown stain. He’d never crossed past this page as she’d make big eyes in warning if he ever at all dared touch the very binding of this diary. And he always rather cherished the fancy of that vehement warning in the back of his mind than turned the new page over. However, the fan swirling on the ceiling ruffled the pages, and he let them oblige out of a tenuous curiosity.

It was just before the date she’d died.

December 27

It’s been too long, aye?

Alright, not that glower on your pretty face, my dearest. Where will I go if it’s about the happiest of the happiests? It’s you, obvio. Now smile and I’ll give you the reason. Yep, smart buddy. I’ve got double lines. And I’m blushing. Oomph!!! Can’t believe this me (mind it, this is me winking while secretly dropping in only your ears)

I so wanna tell him now. Hug the breath out of that sweet, hot, sturdy devil. But, hold on, just now he told me, he’ll be off for tomorrow. For something important for his growth. It’ most needed and I’m fine with it. But when he comes back, Imma give him a statue stillness.

Anything ring a bell? Han! Congo! you gotcha sharp headed! Yep, I’m turning 25 tomorrow and gonna give him the will signed in his favour. He’ll no more be in requirement to keep that bended extralong (don’t you dare contradict me here!!!) nose to the grindstone. Hope he won’t go all huffy with me. Fingers crossed. Now, you, tell me, he’ll kiss me as if taking my breath away and letting me feel right by not flaring that particular nose in particular…Will he?

Arjun laughed quite aloud as it reverberated round the room that made the brows-closely-knittednurse poke her head around the door suspiciously.

“I’m alright,” he just said it and be back to her words without caring to lend his interest to look for if the nurse had left or not.

There was a similar stain in this page, too, but was notches duller. He ran his fingers over it, wasn’t in the need of her words telling the cause for it.

Right under her words, he wrote…

‘I’m, sugar. Thanks to my cancer.’


The End

yep! The questions now.

1. Wen am I gonna post the other stories? Oh, well, to be truly honest, I don’t get the f time these days. It’ u know, I so much wanna write tat it hurts. Like beyond ur imagination. [hate to the core those drawling words: ‘If u r like this, I donno wat r u gonna do n hw…don’t wanna say anything more. At some point, something hits me as well] but I promise, in few days, wen everything subsides here, I’ll regularly be active. Tats a promise.
2. Whr is farha? Whoa, whoa…hold on…she is whr she is lol. Actually, she be in her shell n am in mine. Waiting, waiting n waiting like u all. So despo n by this am simply one of u all. On ur side. Period.


This os! oh me! am I melodramatic? mawkish? nah, not exactly. am something tat derives out beliefs by introspecting n comes to trust tat wat makes u as satisfactory by ur clean audacity is right. Quite emotional n cheesy as well. came to say (thoroughly personal opinion though. Not to impose but to share), love isn’t something can b bounded by the term ‘life’. Its far beyond that four letter word. One more thing is that your passion n yearning n how solid is the shape ur own ground, can only hv the power to decide if water is cool n fire is hot. Nothing can mould anything into a law in generality in any other way.

U may misjudge, misunderstand, presume or anything. But, but…don’t bend ur ears n eyes toward all the noises n sights round u until n unless they come to u by their own will. U may b wrong, u may b right. Wen u come to know u r of the former, be sincerely sorry n don’t be tat again. If latter, b simply tat. Wen u come to know of nothing, then just be wat ur beliefs r. Tats it. Tat simple. B’cos anyhow death is certain n live ur mind n soul each second u walk toward tat final destination wen having zero idea about ur turn.

Listen to the song Enrique’ ‘heart attack’. thr r many apology songs, I agree, bt wat’ special here is wen he finds the girl been cheating on him, he ends up in seeking out his own faults tat made her do tat rather than worrying sick over hers. wah! wah! wah! am crazy about tat song. madly n deeply. video, audio, voice, lyrics n all tat…

‘…wen u finally left me, girl…
it hit me like a heart attack…
I don’t wanna live in a world without u
I don’t wanna live in a world without you
I don’t wanna live in a world without u…
Never should’ve let u slip away
Living in a world tat’s turned to grey
Little did I know it hurt so bad
‘cos it hit me like a heart attack…
I don’t wanna live in a world without u…’

Alright, here I zip up.

Be you. Keep living. Keep rocking, my, my dear friends. Keep smiling. Love u all so dearly.

Credit to: Thena


    • Thena

      Am sorry!!!!! Am sorryyyyyyyy!!!!! Oops!!! Wat’s this!!!!! Full story not been posted yet. Donno y. I sent the whole part. Compliant’s been given. Hope they will make correction soooooooooon.

  1. Brin


    |Registered Member

    Awesome shot, the ending was sad, they loose there child, did Radhika survive? The romance was too good, Thena your a great writer, well done. 🙂

    • Thena

      Thank u thank u thank u soooooooo much Brin. Dear u r such a sweetheart. thanks a lot n hope u wud hv got ur answers 🙂 Love u loads

  2. karnika

    I hav not read yet but after seeing ur name,. Where were u n kafar lost?? seriously it has been a long time for lurking from beyond ..plz don’t go into hiding again

  3. karnika

    I did not understand d end..was she stabbed by knife or raped or she killed d kidnapper or what’s with d title cancer…and after all did she survive ..had she become pregnant before d courtroom scene…had she died and so arjun was reading her diary. In d starting??

  4. Aastha

    Oh !! Its outstanding Thena…is its your first ff ??…did great work …well portraited…their confession….momemts…MR. Mishra agreed for marriage thats fishy ?? but see what happened why TU didnt post your complete story…anxiously waiting…take care and be happy…. 🙂 🙂

    • Thena

      Hey Aastha, thanks a lot dear. no yaar, this isn’t my first. actually thr was one other friend of with the same name here n I got lil confused at first 😀 thank u dear. keep smiling 🙂

      @ Karnikaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Now, now dearrrrr. Oh dear, our dearest friend kfar is making us all restless, isn’t it? haha. yea girl I understand but wat to do wen me be like u after all? just hope she’ll b back soon. its u know she is extremely wonderful n tats wat causes these problems. hardly can wait. dear lord, mercy us!!!! and dear, about this story, hope u already got it 🙂 love u yaar buddy. Keep smiling 🙂

      @ Saran, thank u so much dear.

  5. Shrinithepooh

    Hey thena looooooved it loveed it too waiting for the complete version……can u tell me ur other stories please..other than CLS coz i read it and loved it too….u along with kfar are my faves….okhay so can u do ne little favour….can u tell me wat was the latest update by kfar coz i lost track and the last update that i can see or remember is BBATCB ch 13 contd. …..u know just in case u have been keeping track of it….BTW I AM SORRY FOR ASKING U TOO MUCH……LOVE U ALWAYS 😍😘😗

    • Thena

      Hi Shrinithepooh, its perfectly alright dear. no problem at all. I donno if its the chap 13 contd. r not bt her latest update was of BBCB whr sam is made getting tattoos n all, right dear? if its of tat chap’ then u r right n don’t don’t worry as u hvnt missed anything yet. no new updates after tat. She’s yet to post n hope soon she’ll. love u too, dear. take care. keep smiling 🙂 🙂 🙂

      Thank u so much dear @arti viswanathan.

      hey baby dear @Hareem, hw hv u been? see its like b’cos for ur cmmnt. I happened to get this ghost of plot into my quirky head. lovely baby. now I got my genre lol. exactly I intended n thanks a lot darling 🙂 n wat?!?!?! thr is no next part yaar Hareem 🙂

  6. Hareem

    This is astonishing ..
    violent , romantic ,heart-breaking ..

    delightfully written

    waiting for nxt part ..

    • Thena

      Oh, really? this is me with a weird face. haha just tryin’ to get into ur mind. thank u so so much chashni dear 🙂

  7. Savera

    My dear Thena …
    Really happy to see you here…
    I can really understand that YOU are busy..
    But please be with us…
    As you know that I am great fan of your story… your style of writing…
    Always I wait for it …. n today I am glad that I found something written by my dear Thena…
    Do you remember me?

    • Thena

      Awwww!!!! now, now. here comes my favourite POET!!! but oh dear, oh dear, u r asking me if I remember u. tats so much a safe game u r playing ‘cos aren’t they my words? Hah!!! in fact, to be truly honest, I missed u a lot yaar Savera dear. I lately n lastly happened to see ur cmmnt on Farha’ DT on some other site. I forgot the name of the site now, creep me. it like u tellin about ur friend’ mom’ demise like tat, I guess. later on, hey dear, u were like nowhere. come on baby, hw cud I forget u even fr the sake. u r like old, long lost friends whose memories wud never ever vanish. those days r crazzzzzzzzzzyyyyyy na. hw sweet u were to me thr, n to everyone who started writing like suddenly sprouts pushing out. I still remember ur those sweet, heart warming words yaar dearyyyyyyyy. Keep being with me. tat’s my word to say with respect, love n rights, too. love u too much yaaaaaaaar. u made me quite emotional. warm big hug. thanks fr coming back 🙂 Missing many. yaar, y can’t u write poems now? ur words wud b so melting n stirring na

      • Savera

        Oh Thena Thena Thena dear..
        My dearest…
        It’s really inexplicable for me to express my emotions after reading your this heart warming msg.
        I am SO happy n continuously smiling seeing the msg… my mother asked.. did you get something?
        I replied …. not something but so many things … the reason of happiness…

        Passed time was really great …. we found each other .. our craziness about MMZ …
        Oh my dearie I missed you…. now I feel great…. we’re together…

      • Thena

        Aw!!! Savera dear, u made me moved. Yep, we r friends forever. BFF, n tats my clipped tone with thumbs up. I too am smiling wide like a mad mental while sailing my wondering eyes everywhere on ur words 😀 😀 😀 Love u so much 🙂

  8. _Ritu


    |Registered Member

    Thena..u r jst brilliant dear… 🙂 even a small work of urs have d capability to sooth our hearts…I really wanna know what ur mother ate dat u r so amazing 😉 😉 1500 CC brain of urs work extraordinarily nd ur fingers… 😉 ur fingers have some magical power. 😉 well in short u seem to be complete alien… 🙂 amazing amazing jst amazing dear… 🙂 nd now plz don’t vanish again lyk aliens ..have some mercy on us.. 🙂 waiting for d nxt update of ur new ff…loads of love. 🙂

    • Thena

      Oh Ritu, awwwwwwwwwww, this one made me grin wide n wider n the widest as I was reading. Thank u dear. so much. I so in a need to thank u fr all those cmmnts on my previous updates. tat one on ‘mother is every she’ n then on some other one lol. I forgot. but I can remember tat I got to get ur amazing uplifting words 🙂 Awwww!!!!!!!!! Thank u so much darling. big big warm teddy hugs. n yep, tat was lots of papayas she kept eating haha 😀

    • Thena

      Here Karnika dear, lemme tell u. the stains r of her tears absorbed in the paper 🙂 n I already have replied u up thr. right under Aastha’ cmmnt. tired n so was very lazy to skip down hehe 😀

    • Thena

      hi dear, thanks a lot. n ummeurmi27, saw ur cmmnt on dd’ prologue, too. thank u so so much for such love 😀

  9. Kruti

    Hey Thena, welcome bk.
    I usually avoid reading stories with a sad/tragic ending but couldn’t help reading this time. 🙁
    Well a beautiful story… Love/hate/trust/ misunderstanding/ fate/ destiny oh so many emotions beautifully woven together.
    Just wish u and Farha could find more time to many keep waiting..
    Well u guys too hv ur personal life, priorities so I guess all we can ask is …do find some time and write & plz no month long gaps between ur ff updates.
    All the best and good wishes.

  10. Kanishka

    Nice one,after long time u r here I missed u and farha so much where r u guys? Both u vanish from tu plz don’t do this again atleast don’t take one or two month gap .

  11. Hareem

    I’m gud .. enjoying winters !!

    just now read ur comment n me gone frozen .. I’d just nailed this line for the very first time ..!!! lol
    may I know wat u exactly intended for

    actually I intend to type waiting for ur another ff’s but mistyped in a hurry

  12. Thena

    wowieeeeeee!!! Kruti yaar, it was really such a thrill to read tat u usually don’t read tragedies. thanks a lot dear. seriously. it means a lot. so u risked 🙂 thanks much fr the wishes n love 🙂

    Hey kanishka, its been long. hope u r doing greatly great n spectacular. thanks a lot dear 🙂 just me too hope good n high. love u fr the love yaar 🙂

    Hareem, oh well, tats lucky of u to enjoy winters. yep, this is me sighing. don’t worry, I just sigh slightly. here its wintry, too but nt as mentioning as in enjoying 😀 lol cumin to the point, baby, I just intended it to b strong like u said above wid the combo of all those words. I donno if I brought it up as tat bt ur words made me feel right n confident. love u 🙂

    thank u everyone who risked to read this 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017 in advance 🙂 May u be blessed with wat u wish 🙂

  13. Thena

    HAPPY HAPPY 2017 everyone.

    follow ur intuition, u will face only what u should 🙂 anyhow this isn’t exactly my resolution but Virat’ n as being a Viratian I too love to do tat. well, to say on my behalf, I will say u to believe u r right n u r the best. ur mistakes r just urs n u know how to rectify tat. do errors n so u will learn. do ur wish b’cos anyhow consequences r gonna fall on ur lap irrespective of following anyone’ advices. so better listen to ur own ideas n u will b happy tat u tried wat u wanted 🙂

    Read somewhere, ‘my advice is I don’t want it’ hehehe. so I need to shut my mouth now 😀 😀 😀

    Song dedication: Selena Gomez’ ‘who says’

    I wouldn’t wanna be anybody else.
    You made me insecure
    Told me I wasn’t good enough
    But who are you to judge
    When you’re a diamond in the rough
    I’m sure you got some things
    You’d like to change about yourself
    But when it comes to me
    I wouldn’t want to be anybody else

    I’m no beauty queen
    I’m just beautiful me

    You’ve got every right
    To a beautiful life

    Who says
    Who says you’re not perfect
    Who says you’re not worth it
    Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
    Trust me
    That’s the price of beauty
    Who says you’re not pretty
    Who says you’re not beautiful
    Who says

    It’s such a funny thing
    How nothing’s funny when it’s you
    You tell ’em what you mean
    But they keep whiting out the truth
    It’s like a work of art
    That never gets to see the light
    Keep you beneath the stars
    Won’t let you touch the sky

    I’m no beauty queen
    I’m just beautiful me

    You’ve got every right
    To a beautiful life

    Who says
    Who says you’re not perfect
    Who says you’re not worth it
    Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
    Trust me
    That’s the price of beauty
    Who says you’re not pretty
    Who says you’re not beautiful
    Who says

    Who says
    Who says you’re not star potential
    Who says you’re not presidential
    Who says you can’t be in movies
    Listen to me, listen to me
    Who says you don’t pass the test
    Who says you can’t be the best
    Who said, who said
    Would you tell me who said that
    Yeah, oh
    Who says

    Who says
    Who says you’re not perfect
    Who says you’re not worth it
    Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
    Trust me
    That’s the price of beauty
    Who says you’re not pretty
    Who says you’re not beautiful
    Who says

    Who says
    Who says you’re not perfect
    Who says you’re not worth it
    Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
    Trust me
    That’s the price of beauty
    Who says you’re not pretty
    Who says you’re not beautiful
    Who says…

    The warm, delicious, bright, green, clear, sparkly 2017 welcomes you with its wide open arms. Go for it. cuddle to it. Rock it dear friends. Love u all 🙂

    • Aastha

      hey Thena..HAPPY NEW YEAR dear..i lastly completed reading it…and got my answers too..its very emotional..felt like crying…offcourse you mentioned read at your own risk…
      Thena.. that’s not fair that i too have same name so you wouldnt chat with me…haha..justs joking..its ok dear…i just loved your views on love….very true and with depth….but we love virtual happiness more and dont want to come out of our bubble world…want everything has happy ending…
      do come with more stories….keep smiling… 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  14. lucky

    Hey thenuuuuuuuu u r here woah awsomee plott and hats off to u awsomee choice of words …well m very poor in it m had to usee translationss to get thise meaning never ever i have usedddd this much google translation beforee …welll story was awsomww n yeah u stole my heart by saying ”love is not bound by the word life ” yess its true nowadays its meaning has changed so yeah well deep thought …heartattack is awsomee thnks for the suggestion check out zayn and taylors song ii dont wanna live foreever ” its hell awsomee …n thenu dare u disappear ..i was very disappointed i know u guyss are busy but pretty plzz atlest show urself in comments box …i have stopped visiting tellyupdates cz all mmz awsomee writers take toooooo long i only chk if u guyzz updted or nott otherwisee i dont visit it frequently …welll thts the power u guyz have on us m nott blaming u but plzz just dont disappear loveeeeeee u

  15. Amore


    |Registered Member

    Thena… You did an awesome job… It was so like a solid; binding from the beginning to the end… First update was till child and to be true I didn’t feel it incomplete… Yeah it just had nothing to do to the title… But emotions were up-above… Well done…

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