Shivika Ts –Pal Bhar–
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”
Edna St. Vincent Millay
“hey wait”shivaay said hoarsily to a waiter who was passing by with a tray having glasses of Scotch whiskey and took a glass and gulped it down,the burning sensaion was giving relief to the unbearable pain he was suffering internally,he kept the empty glass and took another one and did the same, closing his eyes as he felt a different kind of calmness washing over him,
Main phir bhi tumko chahunga… (x4)
As he took the third glass he felt the hair at the back of his neck stand up straight making him realize that she was here or more appropiately that she had come. With a swift move of his hand he dismissed the waiter and turned his eyes towards the left to see her coming.But his eyes spit fire when he saw her clinging her hand with sameer and coming forward.He was just looking at her way waiting for her to see him.
Pal bhar tumhein jo na sochun toh
Dhadkane tarasne lagti hain
Tumko jo dekh loon namm aankhein bhi
Haule se hansne lagti hain
As she came she felt a wave of warmth struck her and the uneasiness which always made her restless when he was with her suddenly made it way to her soul,making her realize that he was here.She felt a hard gaze lingering on her and she know it belongs to him and the courage to look up had drained out of her body.She just tried not to look at his way but her stupid heart wanted a glimpse of his and involantarily it lifted and met his.
Her eyes seemed to be red,Maybe he is just over thinking as who will cry before her engagement, but stilll it was not giving him good wibes.The world seemed to stop at the moment his greenish blue orbs met with her cocoa brown ones.It felt as if the whole place was empty except the two of them.Annika was shocked to see him,he was looking much more weak than the previous time,his body had just lost a lot of weight and his face was like that of a zombie,eyes drowsy and dull as always but there was a small smile playing on his lips.
Shivaay don’t know but seeing her had made his heart swell with love and calmness, forcing him to smile a bit at her.How would he don’t smile at her? She is the one who had taught him to smile to laugh,to live life,to cry in short she was the one who was able to bring the fragile as well as the adorable and worst side of him.He don’t know why but his heart had started beating in an unchased speed seeing her.She looked breath taking in that dress but the thought that it was for her engagement had made it look dull but whatever she wear, she looked beautiful.This was the Magic of his annika! His Love,no one is able to ignore her pretty soul.
Dil se dil ka ye mel sanam
Jo kal yeh ho jaaye kam
Haalat bigad bhi jaaye agar
Hum dono bichad bhi jaayein agar
Yaadon ke chaand shikare par
Main tumse milne aaunga o…
Annika on the other hand started moving but her eyes even for a second didn’t left his blue one’s , her mind was screeming her to not to look at him but her heart was telling just opposite of it,Her breath hitched as she saw the mask slipping from his face but in a blink of an eye it again changed and the soffocated mask stood at it’s place proctecting his heart and soul,but little did he know that she can just stare at the deepest corner of his soul,breaking the thick wall and getting straight into his heart,staying there.Well she is staying there,yes fromt he time he had first saw her,she was there but he never waneted to acknowlegde it as he thought it was just an attraction but now at this time he know that it was not attraction but Love,Pure and clear crystaline LOVE.
As she moved his eyes too moved with her’s,with each steps his heart squeeze at a much higher level but it doesn’t seem anything now,just a mere pain in his heart which he experience everytime he think about her and the same thing is happening ow,So it’s NORMAL.Yeah it is,maybe it will be new for other’s but for him this is totally okay.Annika just blinked as her eyes started to strink become of the burning sensation in her eyes as she was not able to held back her tears.Why this is happening?She just wished that this all would be just a dream and she woke next morning in the arms of her love,her shivaay.
Shivaay saw a lone tear escaping her eyes but she instantly wipe it off,He smiled sadly as he knew she is equally affected by this but he just can’t go to her and tell her to end this and come with him as he know she will never gonna do this.Annika cursed her heart for not listening to her,as how much she tried the tear escaped her eyes.Why she is crying?she asked herself because you still love him, her heart replied making her close hers shut when she felt a tight grip on her hand,she looked to her side to see sameer giving her a small smile with a nod , she nodded back telling him that she is okay but little did she know that her friend know her much more better than herself,He came forwards towards her ear”Abhi bhi time hai”making her look at him seathily.How can a person be so amazing?but he is sameer he can do anything.
Main phir bhi tumko chahunga
Main phir bhi tumko chahunga
Iss chaahat mein marr jaaunga
Main phir bhi tumko chahunga
Shivaay just gulped down the left over content of his scotch and looked at them with blood shot red eyes.Rudra was standing just beside him looking at the exchange of their glances and just hit the table right beside him in frustation as well as the pain which he felt in his heart.If anyone would have seen these two then they will surely say that both of them are unconditionally , irrevocably madly in love with each other.But these two despite being known about their feelings for each other are doimg this.One is scared while the other is punishing himself.
After a few minutes it was the time for the ring exchange,Annika felt as a sword had being pierced into her heart as she looked at Shivaay ,while extending her hand to sameer,her gaze started to become hazy as she saw him smiling but it seemed to be mocking her.Why it is hurting you so much annika?Why he is bothering you,he was the one who had treated you like a road trash,used you and then throw you.Don’t feel pity for him he is responsible for all this.She closed her eyes as her heart screamed in between all this”You Love him”and this was enough to make her tremble in response.Sameer holded her hand bringing her back to the world and she looked straight into his eyes and smiled.Sameer to smiled and slided the solitary diamond ring in her ring finger Making shivaay turn a little away from the view.
How can he just see his love becoming someone else?How much he say that he is punishing himself,he will be not be able make his heart except this.As it Hurts moree than anything.He looked at her once again and saw her that the tear was goingt o slide her eyes but she was trying really hard not to make it fall.He chukled in volintarily as she was still his annika who never wanted to let anyone see her pain which she bear inside her heart,the stubborn lioness. She with long deep breath slided the ring in sameer’s finger and everyone applaused while shivaay too clapped but the look in his eyes was something else.Something lifeless,Devastated,broken and what not! Annika’s find hard to breath ,she gave a glance at him,it seemed he will just crush the glass in his hand as he hold it tight,his eyes were red shot with unshed tears while his lips were adorned with a small sad smile.
Annika gave everyone a fake smile as everyone came wishing them but her eyes were not able to meet his as the thought of being a cheater once again crept her mind,taunting her but she stood still,facing it as she know that she is not wrong,She is thinking of herself but little did she know that this was the biggest lie of her life.
Kuch aur tha main kuch aur hi tha
Tumne hi mujhko nikhara hai
Ab jo bhi mujhme pyara hai
Woh har rang tumhara hai
Shivaay knew that this was the end! and he also know that this was the end of his life too.Now his love had become someone else,his heart is thumbing in his chest screaming begging him to go from there but he didn’t listened to it.No how can he just listened him without wishing them a great journey ahead?If he had experienced this much pain than earning it a little more doesn’t make any difference,he made up a mind that after meeting them he will move away from their life,will never look back and live his hell like life again.
The time his eyes set upon her he felt a little relieved calm and the pain was alittle less but now it seems that it had increased at a much higher fold.He just smiled as the line came to his mind
“You are responsible for this”
“You deserve this”
These two sentences are like the lines on someone’s palm that how much you tried it can never fade away.And he is accepting it with regret and pain.
He moved towards the place where they stood with a gift in his hand and a equally disheartened rudra followed him. Annika saw him coming from the corner of her eyes and her heartbeat increase as well as the pain. She gripped sameer’s hand who was talking to some guest and he loked at her direction to see her closing her eyes,he loked a little away to see shivaay coming their way and he tighten his grip on her hand”You can do this Gorgeous”he whispered giving her strenght while she noded her head and with all her couage left in her body ,opened her eyes and blinked back the tears which started to form in her eyes while sameer gave a reassuring nod to her.
“Congratulation Sameer and Annika”Shivaay hoarse voice laced with pain reached to her ear making her tremble at the intensity. Shivaay came forward and hugged sameer while he too reciprocated it.Sameer could feel the pain in his body gesture his helpnessness and for once he hope that annika would go to him once again,He felt pity for them Why won’t he? As he know that annika’s happinees is in Shivaay and shivaay in annika and his in Annika.For the first time he wished that annika get’s her happiness despite he will be the one at loss.”take Care of her” shivaay whisperd “Yes i will”he to whispered as they came out of the hug.
Jo kal tha, tera saath mile
Haathon se na yeh haath mile
Alvida mujhe tu keh jaaye
Yeh pyaar adhoora reh jaaye
Kuch aadhe adhoore lamhe liye
Dil ka yeh shehar sajaunga..
“Have a good life ahead guys”and with that he moved away from there as rudra too wished them.He hugged Annika whispering her to come back but she didn’t met his eyes making him smile”Happy journey Bhabhi”he said and for the first time today he thought that this was last time he will be caling her bhabhi.
Annika looked att he retreating figur of shivaay and she knows that he will not turn,because if he turns he will lost his control on himself and he can’t afford to happen this.She saw him taking the bottle of wine from the bar counter and vanished while gulping it down.
She stared at the gift in her hand and saw a note struck to it , with trembling hands she opened it and in an instant she realized that it had shivaay’s handwritting. A tear dropped from her eyes as she read the note which read
“Thank you for making me a different man! Thank you for making me fall in L—”
the last word was hazy as it seemed that a drop of water had fallen over it ,She caresses the part as she know it is written Love but she realized that it was his tears,She just wanted to kill herself at that very moment for making him go through all this.”And what about your suffering? What about you annika?” her mind interrupted “How can you just fall weak like this?”he added while annika just throw the thought at the very back of herr head”Just shut up!”she wanted to scream but refraine from it as she doesn’t wanted to amke a scene over there.Sameer looked at her different changing expressions,he know something was wrong so he just asked her once again that if she was fine and once again the same lie
Main phir bhi tumko chahunga
Main phir bhi tumko chahunga
Iss chahat mein marr jaaunga
Main phir bhi tumko chahunga
Rudra saw shivaay moving on the empty road while sipping the liquor from the bottle stumbling, moving in a zig zag manner “Bhaiya”rudra called out and ran to him and as he made him turn he was horrified to see him,He was crying,crying not caring for anyone,crying like a broken soul,he thought that he was wenting out his pain.Well he was right”I lost evrything Rudra!,I lost everything”He sniffed as he gulped the drink once again “I lost her!”he said and started laughing like anything “And you what?Oh God! annika was true I’m unique,because i will be the first person who is responsible for his own destruction”He slurred out and sat on his knees as tears continue to decend down his cheeks.Rudra was continuously disagreeying everything”No bhaiya this is not the truth”rudra sat on his knee and held his shoulder to make him look at him”Don’t lie rudra it’s a bad habit”he whispered and took a sip.
Rudra was at shot of words as he know that his brother was right,how much he say that this false but truth is truth and it always come with a bitter taste but we have to accept it,but here he is finding it really hard,don’t know why?Maybe becaue his superhero was the one who was suffering? “I lost her rudra”he said and in a blink of an eye Shivaay was feeling difficult to breath,He started to rub his let side chet and breath heavily”bhaiya are you ok?”Rudra asked shaking him.”Yeah I’m”he said with great difficulty “No you are not”rudra said and made him stood up and with his support he made him to their car.
He made him sit at the passenger seat in a way that his legs sway outside the door and he too sat in front of him”Bhaiya tell me your doctor’s number I’m going to call”rudra said panickly while trying to make him drink some water while he was feeling suffocaed and was continuosly shaking his hand in a negative way telling him to stop.”No Rudra! I think I’m done”shivaay whispered seethily,his voice cracking”what the hell are you talking haiya?Nothing will ahppen to you do you get it”he said as he hold his face shaking him “My disease had become wrost”shivaay said in a way of pacifying his statement,he just inhaled deeply as it’s really getting hard for him and he thought that his heart had at last lost the left over strenght “What is that?Nothing will happen to you do you got it?Nothing will happen to you”Rudra chanted this line like a mantra and he stood still as he sense shivaay cold hands slipping from his grip and with that shivaay went blank.
“Bhaiya Bhaiya?”rudra screamed.
Please read the note below.
Hello my fellas readers,*Big Hug*
First of all kindly ignore the grammartical mistakes and Typos.
Second of all I wanted to say a big sorry for this late update as well as for not replying ot any of you,I’m kinda whole lot busy these day! Unhappy Uff.. Ye roz roz ka kaam is killing me! Aaarrgghhh.. *Frustating Looks*
Okay no more anger but I wanted to thank each one of you who had liked and commented on this Ts and supported me through out this. It really kept me motivated. 🙂 Now coming to this story! Babies as I have said that this is the last part of this TS then I’m totally right don’t get confused as it looks incomplete because it is.But I have ended it here as now a different story will start from here maybe.And I have told you all in the starting that this ts may don’t have a good ending as I was sure that it won’t, and so for rectifying all this I need another sequel for it and So this is happening.
One more reason for this is that I wanted to keep this as a seperate story as I don’t want shivaay’s and anniks’s suffering continue to the next one.So this officially the end of this suffering series and it will started with a whole new think where there will be more normal things than this all.
I know you all are forced to hate sameer but he will play the main character in the next sequel.And I hope after that you are forced to love him. ; )
I too hate angst filled story,See i’m crazy! as well as wierd as I’m the writer and I’m only telling that I hate this.Mera kuch nahi ho sakta*Self smacking on my cute sa small sa brain*LOL
I hope it was upto your expectations and you all liked this part and and understood me why I done this.Do give your feedbacks regarding it and even the silent one’s it will be pleasure to read your thoughts regarding htis and my decision.
meet you all soon on the next story.
With loads of love and hugs,