Leaning towards this wall is giving a support for my head but what is actual dependence. I am trying to find out the definition of actual dependence. Here a lil human being is only depending on me, he knows that I don’t have the enough courage for tolerating the situation but I am the elder. Kids have a belief that elders have more strength for handling everything. Neverthelessly the fact is I am depending upon him. He is the one and only human being who I have in this world now for a dependance. Unknowingly I am saying thanks to Gautam and Tessa. If they didn’t exist, then I would be lonely now. The time is reaching early 3. The hospital is less crowded now. Sometimes an individual will pass us Here 2 human beings are sitting on one of the chair in the series but none cares. The smell of here pleasant and a symbol of hygiene neverthelessly we are afraid of it. Sometimes the sirens of ambulance is waking me from the half sleep. Aryan would be sleeping with resting his head on my shoulder. I would stroke on his head and eagerly look the entrance of intensive care unit. The nurses will somehow look at me and leave. If I ask something, they will utter me to ask the doctor and he will ask for 48 hours. The dead line is ending. What will be our future???. I am understanding the fact my almighty that without him I am nothing, I am alone. I don’t have anyone except him. I don’t attempt to call Kolkata, I started to hate them cz of them I am suffocating he is suffering. If they didn’t accused him, tried to find the truth then he would be with us. Life or death, I will try bear this pain alone….. But an interrogation arising in my mind. If a emergency arrived , whom I will call for a help. If he will be with me, I don’t have to be afraid. He will take care of everything and in his absence!!!???….. Now the Banyan tree began to extripating.
Aryan left my shoulder and his expression showed me that his neck is aching……Shall I arrange a payward?? You can sleep there…..
He nodded no and returned to my shoulder with his aching neck. Then said with staring away.
I am with you Mom, I know you are alone and weak. You wants me more now. I won’t leave you at any cost……
With alot of anticipation he walked to the door of ICU. He was breathing with taking every fibre. His lil cheeks were covered with tears and ran for hugging me…….. I consoled him
Sanskar maybe if you reached Gautam’s grave, if u unloaded ur pains in front him, if it healed ur scars then might be, might be these all won’t happen. But you declined before it. The final drop of ur bravery which you absorbed by the hardwork of years leaked in some couple of hours. The doctor is moving out of ICU. With an account of curiosity and fear I approached him. Slowly his silence turned to a grin of satisfaction. I heaved after an epoch.
When I opened my eyes somebody was patting on my head. My vision wasn’t sure about him but it’s clear that that human being belongs to the masculine gender.
He removed my Oxygen mask but I am not inconvenient. I can breath myself, 😳😳 I am shocked to see him. Gautam!!!!…… Is it everything over. He came to take me with him???
Gau: I can assume what you are thinking….. No jab tumhara vaqt aayega tab main khud tumhe lene aaunga now you have to be alive for Swara…..
He hugged me.I smiled with a lot of rejoice. I regained him finally……
You were coming to meet me na. Now tell me the probz……. And when I thought about my actual probz, I couldn’t find any.When I saw him, my probz were freezed in this meeting.
Shall I mention a prophecy…. he muttered
Mm….. I hummed…
God is sending someone to ur heaven😉😉😉…… I asked But he didn’t told more about it and was dare to leave.
Gautam, you haven’t asked about your Aryan!!!
He stayed for a moment
With you na?? I know he is fine…..
He left with leaving some hints for being alive….
When I preserved my dream in my memory and opened my eyes. I saw her looking at me with her wet puffy eyes
I am lying in the payward. Some life supporting systems are gathering near me. Now I can assume my unguaranteed days. I cupped her face post caressing her hair. Gave a kiss on her forehead and cheek. Unknowingly I tasted salt fluid flowing from her eyes. Maybe it was an unending flow……..
My consolements took a week for taking her back to the previous state. But her body started weakened day by day. Her body started to slenderice, skin surrendered in front of lividity, her eyes were sinked in the hole. This is cz of she is denying to accept food. Her hatred towards the fav non veg and chocolates too. She only likes to have sourd candies. She will only have something if we will compell her. Our pampering resulted in her eating. Uncle is ready to make anything she likes, she also wants to have it but her vomiting!!… Alas!! What a stupid I am??
We consulted a doctor,
….. Doctor I have some doubts….
Doc: I think you are right
She said but I don’t know what they meant silently.
she obediently lied on bed with regarding the doctor’s instructions. She smiled at me but I am becoming nervous seconds by seconds. I gave her a forced grin.
Doc: Mrs Maheshwari your doubts are true.
Her eyes were sparkled. Tears of happiness are rolling from her eyes…
Doc: Can we go for sonography test
She nodded willingly with a blushing and moved. I accompanied her. I poked her in the way and asked….. What is ur doubt???….. She blushed….. Sanskar I am missing my periods sooo😌😌….
Periods!!! Ohh u mean u r missing ur Karnatic music classes right?? These hospital emergencies na… I will say to your tutor. No worries ok
😳😳 Ohh no she is irked and punched on her forehead like she is pissed off. Later she lied for sonography test and the monitor showed her inner tummy. She started crying…. I think it is something serious, God y r u playing with my life. She held my hands with tears….”Sanskar Sanskar look our baby”…
😦😦😧 Omg….. Baby 😳😳
Means she is expecting. So Gautam mentioned this but I didn’t showed her my happiness. Might be she expected at least a hug and smile but I am unique you know….. She was looking at me for a positive response but Sanskar is Sanskar He is unique.
We reached home and I immediately closed the door of my bedroom with her. She was so sad about my weak concerns towards her. Leaving her in shock I started jumping screaming laughing. I don’t know…… Main Paapa banne wala hoon, did you hear main Paapa banne wala hoon☺☺☺☺…… I hugged her kissed her. Her happiness re-entered. I lifted her and revolved in rejoice….. Main Paapa banne wala hoon main Paapa banne wala hoon…… Then made her lie on the bed.
Muffled her belly with bunches of kisses…… Beta I am ur Paapa Paapa…… I whispered She was laughing loudly. I kissed on her belly but the kiss was forced by the s*xual hormones. For a while I forgot that she is pregnant. I removed her saree from her shoulder. Her shapefull oranges are making the yenn for eating her. With patting her tummy I inclined towards her chest but her hands covered my mouth…… I am expecting and you are not well. Doctor strictly told me to you to keep at bay. So these all are forbidden to you for 2 years and it will harm our baby na soo.what to do I was in a good mood but she is also right. These intimacies will harm our baby. There is such a big possibility for miscarriage in first trimester. So I dropped the attempt and went for the arrangements party. Tomorrow is my Shadow’s birthday. I went to invite my whole school colleagues, neighbours and the members of the orphanage and old age home……….
This is for him. It will be his best bday gift….
To be continued…………