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Chapter 3- Repentance
” Aunty….” Laksh started speaking, he once again tried to wipe the tears which had descended down his cheeks but to no avail, new tears took their place, instantly.
Sharmishta looked intensely towards Laksh, she wasn’t really expecting a ‘No’ but as it is, not everything happens as per our expectations and so did happen with Sharmishta.
“I can’t marry Ragini…”Laksh spoke up taking a deep breath, still with tears.
“Laksh…”Sharmishta stared at Laksh shocked, Laksh held her hands softly before she could continue.
“Aunty, How can I marry Ragini? How can I follow what Swara told me? That Swara who betrayed me and even if I do…Can this marriage ever have any future? I don’t love Ragini, I might be broken because of that girl but I confess, I can never stop loving Swara, she was my first love and maybe…Last too, I and Ragini are friends, in fact best friends, How can I contaminate that relationship by this marriage of pressure…It’s like spoiling her life, Aunty, Ragini is perfect for me but I am not perfect for her, atleast not when I Love someone else, I can’t marry her, I can’t spoil her life just due to some Society Pressure…” Sharmishta jerked Laksh’s hand away even before he could complete , she wanted to speak something but before that Laksh started speaking again resuming from the sudden jerk, she turned her face away in tears.
“Aunty, I know you are sad, Angry, in pain…anybody would be but Aunty, we can’t spoil Ragini’s life due to some Society, due to anybody…(He Paused) But Aunty, I have something to say , rather something to ask… Aunty, Will you get Ragini married to Sanskar?” As soon as the words came out of Laksh’s tongue, Sharmishta turned looking towards him astonished, all eyes turned to him , Shock was truly a small word to describe their expressions…that was the intensity of this sudden jolt.
Hearing the words, Sujata tried to speak something angrily not before Sanskar held her hand indicating her not to speak, Sujata glared at him angrily while Sanskar lowered his face, a lone tear moved in his eyes, not ready to come out, nobody noticed it.
“Laksh, have you gone mad?” Sharmishta shouted at the top of her voice.
“Chup Bengalan, Atleast listen to Laksh…”Dadi said angrily coming forward , she had her hope enlightened, the hope of still getting her granddaughter married to the Maheshwari’s…The rich ones.
“Aunty, I might sound ridiculous but aunty , was there any use of such a planned wedding of mine and Swara…Aunty, every decision that looks not acceptable, absurd in the start might give off better results unlike the ones which look best, still give worst results…”Laksh paused as he remembered his dreams to be with Swara, the dreams who lay crumbled in a white sheet in front of him.
“Aunty, I know I am not the best to judge love…might be I am not even good enough to do that…”The thoughts of Swara’s betrayal again played in Laksh’s mind.
“But still…I wish to believe my heart this time, one last time, I want to believe what my eyes saw, Aunty, My eyes saw care in Sanskar’s eyes, Trust in those eyes…only for one person, only for Ragini…and Trust is indeed the first step towards Love and I can see my brother walking on the passage of Love…I am sure I am not wrong in this interpretation of mine, atleast not this one…” Laksh said as he looked towards Sanskar with his lowered face, Sanskar had already changed his expression to childlike, he didn’t let anyone know of the hurricanes inside this so-called mad outer body.
“You know what Laksh, today…today only I promised my daughter, my Ragini that I’ll search for a guy thousand times better than you for her, Do you think Sanskar fulfil…” Sharmishta was cut in by Laksh.
“Aunty, I don’t think , I believe that my brother is million, infact billion times better than me, Aunty, we both fought for our Love from society but I still got an easy passage to get my Love, to get Swara…Only if Swara hadn’t betrayed me, we would have been together today, forever but my brother lost is Love is the worst possible ways, he saw her dying in front of his eyes, in his lap, still he is living, he lost his mental stability because of this but still, he has not ceased to Love her, he lived so many years of his life without her…without anybody, still survived the cruelty of this world, he still did…Aunty, his love is so pure , just think how much he would care for the girl who becomes his Life partner, infact how much he would Love her…Aunty, I know I gave a lot much of pain to Ragini, knowingly or unknowingly I did thats why I again don’t want to turn a reason for her sadness, By marrying her or seeing her break , I want to fill her life with happiness and I am sure my brother’s company can give her that, can give her everything…even Love…Please Aunty, Please believe me, Just once more…Please…” Laksh stopped and looked towards Sharmishta hopefully, Sharmishta was in a huge dilemma, either to listen to her heart or her mind.
The heart seemed to completely agree with Laksh, there was that truthfulness in Sanskar and Laksh’s eyes that she always wished to see in Shekhar’s eyes, she could never see it but at the same time, the mind seemed to go to some other way…What if this marriages turns to be the biggest problem of Ragini’s life…What if Swara’s betrayal becomes the reason for Ragini’s life breaking apart…she didn’t wanted that, even that thought pierced her heart hard.
“Sharmishta, I think Laksh is right somewhere…Maheshwari’s are really good, I think Sanskar would be perfect for Ragini and if not Sanskar then who, this news would reach every person of our Society…Nobody would marry Ragini after so many things…First the joke that her relationship with Laksh got made of and now Swara’s actions…Only Ragini would be blamed…Only and only her…” Shekhar said keeping a hand on Sharmishta’s shoulder from back.
“No Uncle, I didn’t mean to say that you get Ragini married to Sanskar because of society, I wanted it for her own happiness, for my brother’s happiness…”Laksh intervened as he realized his words were being misinterpreted.
Sanskar raised his head to look towards Laksh, towards his brother…infact that brother who meant much more than a brother to him, Laksh was like a part of Sanskar as Sanskar was like a part of Laksh…the feeling of what he had done to Laksh in his misunderstood revenge seemed to burn him from within, He separated his brother from his life, from his Love…Yes, he had mended his ways a while back and it could not really be called his fault but still, he knew it was indeed his fault, He was the one who made Ragini walk on the dangerous path, on the dangerous path to get her Love, To do anything to get it…He had turned an innocent, naive girl into a heartless Lover, he had turned her love into obsession…He had hurt her soul, might be way beyond repair due to which Laksh had lost his Love today…Laksh had been broken from within today and that same Laksh was on the way to give him his Love today…
Yes , He loves Ragini, it mind sound ridiculous that he loves the girl who he knows has committed some of the worst crimes…She drugged her sister…she broke her sister’s marriage and now had done something to her which he doesn’t know but does Love really see what the person was or is? For him, his Love didn’t see it…He was himself imperfect and so he fell for an imperfect girl, for an imperfect Ragini, he realized his Love late…late enough to now see something which he had wished to see since years yet had despised even wishing to see it in present- Laksh’s breakdown, He didn’t knew how much but Sanskar hated himself…Hated himself for ruining so many lives…for ruining the life of his brother, that brother who fought every time for him, for ruining the life of a innocent girl by turning her into a mad lover, by ruining the life of a simple girl who changed him by snatching every possible thing from her, her love , her family and everything else…For ruining the life of Swara.
The guilt burnt him from within, in the way worse than Kavita’s death had burnt him, he wished to set everything right…Everything.
“Laksh, you are right and thats why I think, I think we should ask Ragini and Sanskar about this…Only they can take the decision of their life…”Durgaprasad, a silent spectator till now said diving in, he wished Sanskar to have equal rights as Laksh…he still loathed the fact that he didn’t give Sanskar his rights earlier, had he done that, Sanskar wouldn’t had been separated from them for years.
Sujata took a breath of relief as she heard the words, Ragini would never agree to marry Sanskar…never ever but still, she couldn’t control herself to speak.
“Bhaisa, you snatched my brother’s first love and when now he is not stable mentally…you are playing with him by asking his thoughts, do you really think he would be able to take the right decision for himself or are you just showing off how good you are to the world…or is it that you realized the pain my son would have gone through when Laksh felt the same pain…” Sujata reprimanded Durgaprasad.
“Sujata…” Annapurna who was silently crying till now intervened while Sujata lowered her eyes realizing she had spoken too much.
“Sujata, You might be right but I still want to ask Sanskar and Ragini.Only they have the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’…” Durgaprasad replied sternly, the words had hurt him.
“Dupatte wali Dost…Dupatte wali Dost, you all are thinking about my and her marriage only na…I want to marry her, I want to marry her…she would always be with me after that na, I want to marry her…” Sanskar stopped the conversation by dancing in excitedly while smiling, he had his plan set.
Ragini was sitting silently taking the support of the closed door of her and Swara’s room, drops of tears were continuously falling down her eyelids, she couldn’t hear anything that was happening outside, she was just moving her eyes everywhere in the room…the room that was filled in with memories of Swara…with memories of her sister, sorry Half-sister.
‘ I am going far away from you , far away , very far away , you’ll not meet me ever , even by mistake , I am going that far’ The words that she herself made a drugged Swara to write on the paper came to her mind continuously, they were haunting her after she re-read them today…Though the world thought them to be of Swara, she knew whose brain it had…the hidden meaning in the words haunted her more than anything else, To the world Swara went away to enjoy her life her way…only Ragini did knew that Swara went away to Heaven after death, she knows Swara would have gone to Heaven, Swara definitely would have.
” Leave me, do you really think you’ll go to heaven Ragini??” A voice startled Ragini as she raised her face to look towards…Swara.
Dressed in a perfect outfit of a bride Swara looked towards her fuming in anger, “Swara…”A small whisper escaped Ragini’s mouth as she tried standing up taking the support of the door.
“Yes, me Ragini…that Swara from whom you snatched her everything, her Love, Her Family, her character…Everything Ragini…Everything, even my Life…” Tears fell down Ragini’s eyes as she hardly managed to stand upright, still taking the support of the door.
“Ragini…Do you remember that day, That day I told you about a princess and her fairy friend…The day we both were talking on phone, You were the princess and I was the fairy, The fairy wanted to set the Princess’s life right, even I wanted to do that…little did I realize that my Princess was the one who would ruin my life…little did I knew that my Princess would snatch the Fairy’s very Life…” Ragini closed her eyes crying as she saw tears falling down Swara’s eyes, Swara’s anger had mellowed down…tears took their place.
“I am sorry Swara, I just wanted my Laksh, Just Laksh, every single deed I did, I did to get him…to get his Love…I was ready to go to hell, to live a hell for him…I was ready to do anything…” Ragini tried explaining herself, breaking down.
“Even to kill your sister whom you realized was your sister just a few months ago…”Swara screamed in tears.
Ragini put her hands on her mouth as it became hard for her to control herself, each second of her life seemed to pass like years…each breath she took seemed to kill her more.
“You know what Ragini…I wanted just one thing in my life…Just one, A happy family with my parents, sister, grandparents…Just this, I didn’t even wanted Laksh despite loving him, You pushed me towards Laksh, I fell for Laksh on my own but you strengthened my Love for him only to snatch him from me later, infact snatch my everything from me later…even my family, even yourself Ragini…Do you call such a harmful Love, Love? I call it madness, pure madness, you have gone mad for Laksh, completely mad…” Swara sat on the floor crying, Ragini looked towards her as her actions moved like a picture in front of her eyes, her childhood moved in front of her eyes, her love for Swara moved in front of her eyes, her Hatred for Swara moved in front of her eyes.
“Hume Maaf Kardejeiye Swara, I am Sorry, Please…”Ragini sat down next to Swara as she tried caressing a completely broken Swara’s face…As soon as she tried touching Swara, Swara disappeared.
“Swaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…” Ragini screamed as the scene of Swara falling down in the river played in front of her eyes, she breathed heavily as she realized it was an illusion, Swara was gone…forever.
“Yeh Humne Kya Kiya…Humne, Humne Swara ko Mar Diya…Humne Humari Behen ko Maar Diya…”Ragini thought as she looked towards her hands, they were spotless yet she could see them stained, stained with Swara’s blood.
Tears ceased to fall down, thoughts stopped functioning, only one face moved in front of Ragini’s eyes…Swara, her tears as she was falling down the river, the face that was questioning her each moment, each and every moment as to what wrong had she done that she got such a betrayal , such a betrayal.
Seemed like Ragini became lifeless, alive yet dead.
Laksh smiled from among his tears as he heard Sanskar, he walked towards Sanskar, “But marriage is not only about living together haan , You even need to care for Ragini Sanskar, care for her a lot, never let her get hurt even a bit…”Laksh said as he held Sanskar’s shoulder.
Sanskar nodded in a cute way , “But I want to wear clothes like you, Dulhe Wale Clothes…”Sanskar asked as Laksh smiled and nodded.
“But Ragini…”Sharmishta stepped in.
“Aunty , I am going to Ragini only…Let’s ask her, I am sure she would agree…”Laksh said as he walked towards the Gadodia House along with all other Maheshwari’s and Gadodia’s, except Sanskar and Sujata, Sujata had stopped saying she would get Sanskar ready in another room.
“Ragini, Beta Open the door, What happened, Ragini, Open the door…” Sharmishta shouted , concern visible in her eyes, past 10 minutes Laksh had tried hard to get Ragini to open the door but to no avail , she wasn’t even replying.
“Maree Ladoo…Uss Swara ke Karan koi Galat Kadam Utha Liya Toh…”Dadi said tensed, Laksh turned to her shocked.
“I think ,Dadi is right, is there any other way to go inside??” Laksh questioned.
“Yes, the window…”Shekhar said as Laksh instantly walked up to the window, as he reached the window…the thoughts of his and Swara’s fight even through the window came to his mind…He removed off the thoughts and looked towards the window, it was bolted but not locked, he pushed it a bit and it got opened…He took a breath of relief, atleast he could reach Ragini now, he feared she had done something wrong to herself.
Author’s Note: Hello friends, I know you all must be very angry with me, You all waited a lot for this FF, Infact a lot, on every RagSan FF of mine, you all asked me to post this one but I didn’t…I am sorry, Its not like I didn’t want to post it, its just that I don’t want to break my decided Schedule for any FF because it would be unfair to readers of other FF’s na, Please Forgive me for posting late , Please…As a Sorry, I am posting a really long Update, This is around 3000 words, I hope you liked it…Truly hope it…Please forgive me as well. Now if you all are a bit happy with the update, Please do reply to today’s question…please, the question is, “Do you think I justified all the characters of Swaragini in this story till now?” Like are their actions and thoughts justified according to their Serial Characters, Please do Reply…Thanks for Reading a lot.