Months passed. The year was almost coming to an end. We had exams and we agreed to to halt our escapades.
That was when I knew what missing someone felt like. I had always had this urge to just see him once, even if for a few seconds, to talk to him. But I stayed put.
On the last day of our exams, my friend had organized a party .usually, I wasn’t allowed to go. And I would not mind missing such outing. But this time I wanted to enjoy myself. So I went ahead with my plan to not ask my father. I just told my mom. After, I returned my father was already waiting. Somehow he knew. He slapped me and slammed me against the wall. I couldn’t control myself any further so I lashed out at him. When he regained his composure, he came after me. I ran out of the door. I had nowhere to go and I was angry. So I went to the one place I knew, just wanting to spend a few hours alone.
after a few minutes, I heard someone approach. I looked up and saw sanskar. Sanskar had the most peculiar expression on his face. He looked concerned but there was also a trace of trepidation. As if I would bite him if he said a word wrong. It was almost comical to see such an unusual emotion on his face. I started laughing.
Sanskar was here. Why? How? I didn’t know. It was relief so exquisite that I couldn’t understand whether to laugh or cry. He came closer and sat beside me. For the first time he was silent. I kept my head on his shoulders and cried. My tears started soaking through his shirt but he didn’t mind. He took my hand in this and started counting on my fingers.
Usually, I did not like being touched. But that day I drew comfort from his strength. His shoulders provided Me stability. I felt safe. And strangely whole. He was one refuge from the world of pain that enveloped Me.
After calming a bit, I asked sanskar about it.
‘I am counting the number of years u are wasting over someone who doesn’t care about you. If you are crying like this for him, you ought to cry me a river some day ‘he replied.
Why? I was amused.
‘I may have to leave someday. I can’t always be around you ‘sanskar said.
‘why’ I asked.
‘because my father could get transferred. We could go to different colleges. Or any number of things could happen ‘
For the first time, I saw him agitated.
‘but that’s not necessary. I’ll take admission in whichever college you go to. So we could be together “I replied
‘never destroy a chance at a better future of your own will. Not even for me. Or anybody. You should do whatever you want. ‘sanskar sounded angry.
‘don’t worry. We’ll be together. No matter what. Even if we go to different colleges, we can still meet, right? ‘I asked.
‘we will. But that is the future. Let’s not rush it ‘
With that, sanskar stood up. He held out for me and I happily took it. We walked like that the rest of the way. He dropped me at my home. And I bade him goodbye.
Never once did I imagine that it would be the final time. I would see sanskar ‘s face.