Guys I have decided to make my fan fictions more interactive. So starting from today’s episode, I will post a question for you’ll at the end of the post. Do share in your views and hopefully, I shall be able to incorporate the same in the next episode.
Ragini writes in her diary
It surprising what life throws at you. You think you have it all planned. Life will turn out the way just like you expected. But no. God just has other plans to you. Ever since that incident I feel lifeless. Its not like I don’t try. I try to feel happy, to smile, to be same again but nothing works. I have no feelings now. Days come and go. Yesterday was Swara’s engagement. I saw that dirty man again smirking at me. I felt so helpless and ran away from there. My whole life I have dreamt about three things:
1. My wedding
2. My sister’s wedding
3. My musical career
I think I will never marry. After what I have gone through I don’t think any man can make me feel secured. I don’t think I will be able to commit or understand the sanctity of the relationship marriage gets you in. I don’t think I will ever be able to be all honest with my husband. About who I am what happened to me. Honestly, now I do not know who I am.
Coming to my sister’s wedding… Yesterday she got engaged. In a few days she will leave for Ahmedabad. Whenever I looked at her I always felt life is all about balance and about fairness. She never got much love during her childhood days. After we accepted her, she has been lucky to not just get the love of my family but to get the love of a man. I am very happy that she has Laksh with her. He will protect her at all times. You should have seen them yesterday. They looked gorgeous. But sadly I was too consumed in my bitterness and the hate of the world I could not enjoy her engagement party. I still remember the days when we use to sit all night planning our wedding. It used to be hilarious. Castles and horse carriages… God knows what all… Now the time for execution has arisen and I cannot help her. I know its my fault. I am too distracted with everything that is around me. I only hope I have not pissed her. Even if I have I really don’t care much. As I said I have no feelings anymore.
Third is my musical career….. My dadi told me that my mom was a brilliant singer. This was what got me into music. Every time I played the veena I thought I connected with her. For me music has never been about the fame and money. It has always been about the emotions and the connect. Music had always given me a voice but lately I’ve been sticking to silence. The only thing I can feel right now is anger and I fear if I start singing, it might just show to the outside world. I still go the music academy. I don’t want anyone to worry about it at home and Avanti ma’am gives me my space. She understands.
I feel tired now. I think I should go to bed and pray that I don’t get horrendous dreams of that man again.
I don’t know what is happening in my life. I am supposed to go and party right now but I do not feel so. Today I experienced something very astonishing. A very strange man approached me today at the gym. He showed me a pic of a girl who is supposed to be my classmate at IIM and asked me to make her fall in love with me. I asked him if he was crazy. Love is one of the purest feelings that can be experienced. You cannot manipulate such things. He then asked me to just take intimate pictures with that girl. Just to make it look like an affair. I was about to punch him but he caught hold of me. He then blackmailed me. He knew everything about Rithik’s act. The whole abortion thing. If I don’t do what he asked me to he said he would leak it out to the press. I agreed to his outrageous demand. Did I have any option? No. Sure I could have gone and told dad bout this. Dad is the Commissioner of Mumbai. He can get this guy arrested. But imagine the pain and embarrassment he will have to face. I realized today that it is not easy being a public hero. I cannot let my family go through this. They took me in and made me a part of their family when I had nowhere to go. They could have just ignored me. But this family loved me like I was their own kin. Rithik never ever made me realize I was his step brother. Few are lucky to have such a family. When I needed them they were there. Now that they need me I have to be there. I feel disgusting. I hope that girl forgives me though.
He shuts his diary and places his head on the table.
Question for the day: How should Ragini move on?
Credit to: XOXO