Dear diary ,
When somebody hurts you, your heart finds solace with the person who is your ultimate strength.That’s what she had been to me since the day she walked into my life. My anchor ; Sanchi
Even on the day I had given up on myself and planned to leave her behind, she dragged me back to my house or lets call it her sanctum of love.Only I know how suicidal the decision of going away from her was. If I had to live without waking up to her beautiful face that made me feel surreal. If I had to miss looking into her eyes that gave me the courage to fight every demon that came my way. If I had to live through the deafening silence that her lectures otherwise never let me feel.If I wouldn’t be able to feel the warmth that surrounds just when I find her in the same room as me “I would be a dead man” alive to the world but dead inside
She is the one who returned my happiness to me ,not just Kirti( Kabir’s daughter with Ria ) but my soul too.
Now that she kicked some sense into me and saved me from the pain I was pushing myself into , I cannot help but laugh at the tragedy in my life. Wondering why I am talking about tragedy?
Well my life never seems to surprise me.Here I was planning for the beautiful climax of my love story and bottling up courage to let her see through the corner of my heart where I cherished everything about her to mark her as mine and start the journey of a new life with her to cross the invisible line of loving in silence to expressing it.Alas god had planned yet another mega twist to my story on the other end.I wonder if he plans to test my love towards her or must I say the plans to show me how much she loves me .
When horror struck our lives in the form of Ria’s shattered life leaving us with question about Rishab’s future(Kabir’s son with Ria )
She stands with me as my shield ready to fight my battles with her indomitable support. She brings home my child and his mother without a second thought .Yes, his mother because I wouldn’t like to remember Ria was once my wife.It makes me feel it would be like giving Ria and Sanchi something in common and Ria is not worth that .My sword queen never fails to amuse me and once more I am dumbstruck at her giving nature and cannot believe how lucky I am to be loved by a women who could bear Ria in the same house as her just so I could get to bond with my son .
If one thinks that I am happy to have my son back at home they do not understand what I am having to face. I have been a mere spectator of everything that has been going on since the dreadful day Ria entered my house. With Sanchi handling everything the way she thinks would be right, I do not speak up much.
I let her have her way. No, not because I agree with whatever she is doing but because there is a lot more to it., a lot I am going through right now which nobody seems to notice not even the one who never failed to look through me.I feel pain I feel anger I feel frustrated I feel confused I feel surprised and I feel a lot more.
Right now I am just letting everybody have their way till I figure things out and when I do there won’t be thinking twice. There would only be solving things straight ntill then I will let her run the show and it won’t be long until I would man up and get this fuss sorted.