Chapter 8: Realization
My worlds spin madly on me. I was lucky to be good at badminton though the game was taking my already busy schedule, but I like this game. So the result was couch decided to send me to the state level championship. So that means that I was busy all the time, and that no one, including Neil ever saw me.
When I was at library, I spent most of the time with Mira. She just had way to make me laugh. After I told her to drop the subject of me and Neil dating, she seemed to be very quiet. She thoughts good but I knew it was completely and utterly insane, because it was not good idea to mix friendship with relationships. They would just complicated and cause more problem and would end, break a great thing..our friendship..which survived the awkwardness of high school and junior college. I personally don’t want to ruin our special bond.
“You ready to head Pune tonight, Sam? “ she asked while she was copying some text for teacher.
“Yeah..I’m excited for tournament….”
“Yeah..but I’m more interested in two days brake after tournament..as I wanted to go home and crash on couch with bucket of popcorn with good movie..” she sighed as she finished her work.
I continued to type and jerked with the pair of arms wrapped around my waist. I turned to see Neil’s sparkling eyes looking at me.
“What you working on , Sammy? “
“Entering new books in computer system. Don’t you have a class to be doing stuff at? “
“Nope..I have free time and here I came to meet my favorite person as she seems to have no time for me what so ever…”he knew that was lie. But he likes to pull my leg. He could be jerk many times.
“You two should date and get it over..you know…” stated Mira who was standing near us.
Looking up to meet Neil’s eyes we both had that look which said “Not in million years”
“I don’t think I could ever thought Sammy as my girlfriend…” he said realizing me from his grip
“Don’t feel bad Neil…But you are not my type Neil….either…”
“Yeah..those stupid nut heads are your types….”
“Hey you are hurting my feelings…”
“Truth hurts Sammy….” He chuckled
The bell finally rang. I bid bye to Mira and went to my respective class but then my mind start thinking about what Neil said a while ago.
He didn’t think me of as Girlfriend material. That shouldn’t be big deal, but don’t know it seems bugging me so much. Don’t know what making me restless about what he said.
Whole day went like blur.I finally gathered my stuff and boarded my bus. I finally got settled on front seat next to Mira who was busy doing her paper work. I pulled out my novel to cut my time in bus. While I read, I noticed Aarav was getting on bus. Aarav was senior when I was in first year but still he volunteered his time for college championships. He sat down in the seat across me and gave me rather odd look.
The bus ride was rather long. The whole time, Mira and Aarav chit chatted about anything, most of them really were strange, but I didn’t say anything. I kept my eyes on pages of books which prevent my motion sickness.
After travelling for good six hours we finally reached at allotted venue and called it a night. Next day after my game I joined Mira who was seating on benches watching game. She handed me a bucket of popcorn to share while game going on. I was watching the game and was actually enjoying the very muscular and sweat dripping guys running back and forth on the court. My attention wasn’t on anything. I normally didn’t gawk at boys but it was exception to the rule.
“you know, Aarav is staring at you…”whispered Mira in my ears.
I glanced down to see his eyes on me and moved my eyes back on Mira..
“Do you know why he was looking at me? “
“I don’t know…” Mira said avoiding my eyes. She was hiding something
“You are lying..spill the beans….”
She tried to look at game but still avoiding me..Elbowing her I made her say something.
“Ummm…I just heard that Aarav likes you…that’s all…” she tried to act normal, but for me it was massive.
W_H_A_T…No…this can’t be true….
“You have to be kidding..”
“Nope..i actually heard it from the guy himself…”
“Likes me how? “
“he asked me a while ago that if you are seeing someone and I told him you didn’t….he mentioned that he was interested in you to take on date…”
My head started spinning upside down. This was crazy.
“how you feel about that Sam? “ She asked
Honestly, I didn’t feel anything about this whole thing.it was crazy thought. First Armaan now Aarav..why all this happing to me..
“Mira , I don’t know..” I mumbled as I tried to gather my thoughts.
“Remember, you can always talk to me when you need. We know each other from long and I can do anything to help you…” Mira’s eyes sparkled with honesty.
During the rest of the game, I wasn’t on my right mind. My mind kept playing the Armaan’s words and Mira’s confession. I noticed Aarav’s eyes following me wherever I go. My mind was keep thinking that maybe it was good thing. This would stop Mira and everyone else saying I needed to date Neil. If I got boyfriend that would release my tension since female population of our college won’t hate me for being his friend.
Then my thoughts went to Aarav..but he wasn’t my type. I wanted someone who would love me unconditionally and take care of me when I needed it.I didn’t want one that would be falling all over the times. I didn’t want to be one who taking care of someone forever. I don’t want to be defined as someone’s wife…but want to be Sam…Me…I want to conquer my dreams. Dreams that I couldn’t pass up , even if I would end up alone in the end.
My mind come drag back to the court when I heard crowd cheering our college’s name..as we won the game. After prize distribution ceremony we headed back to our bus.
My mind continued to race as my teammates got on the bus. Aarav sat across me and started conversation with Mira again, and that was when I felt like I was going to have panic attack soon. The idea that a guy liked me in girlfriend sort of way was nuts. Mostly because I am in love with Neil……
Wait a minute…Did I just think that?
My mind stopped for a moment. Did I? Do I LOVE NEIL..? This can’t be possible.my mind kept running and I tried to slow down my thoughts. Neil wasn’t my type. He wasn’t nicest person to the women in particular. I pushed myself against the cold window and tried to think.
The whole thing was complicated. I mean I can go and tell him love ya..but I love you…was big different in context.that was when I started to think about all the things….
The day when Neil told me that he was dating Lara and that she wanted him to stay away from me hurt me on more deep level that I actually wanted to admit. The idea that he would pick someone over me hurts. The way that he took care of me and protected me from anyone. The image that I created for my ideal guy and it was rather strange since the comparison were what Neil was in every single way.
I pushed the window glass, I had to cold down. I couldn’t love Neil that way…he was my best friend. We have grown up with each other in every development stage of life.
That was when I heard something in back of my mind “you have been in love with him always….”
That was when my mind travelled back to the moment, that moment when I met him. The way he treated me that made me…..Fall in love with him….
I was in love with Neil Malhotra. The guy that was complete womanizer and would never probably settle for one woman. The guy that was really sweetheart and would make someone really happy , whenever he actually did choose to find someone.
That’s all I could think. I covered my face to brush this thought away from mind.
All I knew was everything going to change, but how they would change that was the question.
Yeahhhhhh!!! finally Sam realize her love for Neil?but how would she deal with this feelings? whether she gonna tell him or hide it frm him?
N that idiot have already attraction towards her..so what will he reply…lets find out in next chap…
Love you all..Stay Khush…m plaese plaese drop ur reviews which will encourage me….muhhaa