MMZ-Written on Stars!! (Chapter 11)

Hello Darlings!! How’s your Diwali celebration? I had fun….
Dedication to Gauri Darling for loving and supporting since you are on vaccations….

Chapter 10: Internal Battle

Neil’s POV

Though my world looks normal, but it was far from it. I was constantly feeling Sam was hiding something from me, which wasn’t her thing. Since before semester break, she was very quiet and engrossed in her thoughts always. I couldn’t understand it. She never holds on any stuff from me for long. We would always talk about everything, exception of my random list of hook ups. She knew about the list, but we never bring that topic in us. I don’t want her to know about few things.

I almost never saw her as our next semester starts, like she was hiding from me all the time. She never spent lunch with group in cafeteria anymore. She would hide herself in library or work for final project of our last year. So basically, I missed her. I couldn’t explain it, but it was like part of me had gone missing and that part was going to hurt until she came back into my personal orbit. Her eyes would shift to the ground or towards books whenever I passed her in college.

Finally, I decided talk to her by myself that I know I didn’t going to get any answer until I asked for it from her. I searched her all over the campus and found her siting and discussing something with Mira at garden area.

I headed towards her and as soon I reached to her I decided to make them aware of my presence.

“Hey, Sam, Can we talk for a minute? “ I asked and I met with Sam’s eyes with that. It was like that she was terrified seeing me there. But why?

She turned to Mira and she picked notes and left us alone. My eyes went back to Sam who watched Mira leave like trying to avoid our eye contact. She was afraid of something which making air around us thick and dense.

She wasn’t going to start so I decided to speak first to start our convo.

“Sam, what is going on with you? You have been acting weird and everyone is noticing it…Even Sid and Arjun shares the same difference in you..you haven’t acting like yourself”

I knew I have to look confused to get any answer from her. but she seems having battle with her mind so after a minute or two she opened her mouth.

“I’m fine..just busy and tensed about the final project” her voice was shaky and she turned her gaze towards book like trying to avoid the topic.

“it’s more than that Sam. TALK TO ME” I snatched her notes. Today I wanted to know it all.

“Neil, you can’t fix everything in my life.you know we all have things that bother us and we don’t want to talk about it.Remember I never asked you when it comes to the girls you screwing around. So please leave me alone…”

I stood froze there and I wanted nothing more than too yelled at her and tell her what exactly I was thinking. But I did opposite.

“That is a low blow…especially for you Sam…”

I threw notes paper on her face making them scattered everywhere and leave from there. I couldn’t believe that she said that to me. She never throws my personal life on my face but now she does. What the hell was going on with her?

I decided that I didn’t feel going back to class so I left. I decided to take back road to avoid traffic jams and headed towards the house. I past some secluded places that I would take girls that I liked to, but now seeing those spots making me even more furious and Sam’s words echoed in my mind.

Sam never did this kind of thing. She didn’t comment on other’s personal life ever. She wasn’t a typical gossipmonger. I know her. Something must be serious thing disturbing her to react like that.

When I finally got home, I slammed my car’s door and stormed into the house. I passed everyone in living room and headed up the stairs. I locked my room door and burst my room with loud music on my theater sound system. Then I threw myself on bed and crashed my face in pillow.

I wanted to push Sam’s words out of my mind, but they were hurting bad. If anyone would have said to me that I would have blown that person or even didn’t have paid any attention to them..but it’s came by Sam which cutting me deeply.

“what’s with this your tornado style entry, bro? ”
I hadn’t heard door open but there was my little sister standing putting her hands on her hips.

“Buzz off, Radhika..i don’t have time nor patience to deal with you right now….” I rolled back pillow.

She then held my hand and pulled me to the ground…I landed on ground in shock…from where she got this much strength to pull me….unbelievable girl….

“Radhika, leave me hell alone…..” I yelled

“ I will when you tell me what happened? Have you fought with Sam or something?”

“I don’t want to talk about her..So if you done with this interrogation..You can leave..…” I knew it wouldn’t matter. Radhika gonna stay there until and unless she found what she wanted to know.

“So by this response I guess it related to Sam…I wish you would have realized your love for her….”

“ I don’t love her like that Radhika….”

“Oh God…stop with that lie…you know you guys are more than best friends….i prayed that your tiny brain would realize it soon so that you won’t get too late for her…..”

Ohhh god!! She couldn’t get it…I care about Sam but not like that…She is my friend…. nothing more…she would never be my girlfriend, my lover….my lover? Oh stop it Neil…

“Chashni…..She is my friend just like you and her are friends..don’t push something which isn’t there….”

“poor….Neil…I hope someday soon you will realized the truth that lying deep inside in your heart which everyone can see except you……”

She turned and closed the door behind her and left me alone. I was getting same response from everyone around me.TOO Late? Huh…No way I wouldn’t be late cause I didn’t feel like that for her and I know she too didn’t feel for me.. A geek and a bad boy toghther? Not a good combo…Insanity of match making….

I rolled my eyes and pulled my pillow to me and in no time I dozed off.

After having good amount of peaceful sleep I woke up. I felt bit relaxed now though still Sam’s word were there in my mind. I got freshen up and went downstairs and saw Sid and Nandu staring into each other’s eyes. Intense eye lock ..HUhh? Love stuck puppies…..I rolled my eyes.

I grabbed coke bottle from fridge and went to my favorite place…My garage….

I played songs on my mobile and started examining my car. I worked like for hours.

As I was busy working on my car I found Sam standing at the door dressed in casual jeans and top with hoodie jacket.

She might not wear that s*xy dresses but she was real beauty and gonna make some guy very lucky someday to have her in his life.

“I’m sorry for being b***c earlier…” her voice was shaky…what could be bothering her so much…

“I just wish you would talk to me, Saminder singh….I’m worried about you….”

Her eyes shinned with something? What’s that…is she afraid to tell me something? But why?

“Neil, I need to talk to you about something…” her voice cracked. Now seriously she was making me scared..but I never show that on my face.

I walked over and place a stool in front of her and got sat down on it. I was so eager to hear from her. How I missed our talking.

“when I went for tournament, Mira told me Aarav likes me…and wants to date me”

I don’t know what to think about that. Aarav was bright student of our college..but he wasn’t her type. I felt my blood boiling in rage hearing that. Why I was getting angry about some other guy liking Sam? I looked at her sensed that something more she wanted to tell so I turned my thoughts to her.

“ I was little freaked out and started to over think about it…”

I couldn’t help but to laugh. “that’s isn’t anything new Sam…..”

She looked down and she was fidgeting with her hands. She was really nervous.

“ Neil…I thought that shouldn’t matter to me because I am….I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU….I LOVE YOU NEIL”

The words came out of her mouth and my mind turned upside down. She was in love with me…me….Neil…the playboy…..I don’t know what to think but I have to think fast as she was waiting for my answer.

The idea Sam actually loves me making me go insane. How a perfect girl like her could loves me? We were day and night stay with each other. She deserves a perfect guy better than me for her. she was too good for me. Then I remembered she was the person on whom I trusted more than my family and even more than Arjun who was one of my best buddy. I loved her, but I wasn’t in love with her. This is worst moment of my life.

I opened my mouth to say the toughest thing to say to her in my entire life…

“Sam..You know I love you….but I’m not in love with you….when I said you aren’t my type that means you are my friend. I couldn’t think of you anything else. You are sweet girl; guys like me hurt girls like you. I would never want to take a chance that I would hurt you and lose you. You are my best friend I could ask for, and please don’t be hurt by this. I never want you to hurt…..”

It was then I noticed tears forming in her pretty eyes and that’s made me shivered in fear. I wanted to pull her in my arms and comfort her. I wanted to make her feel safe from all the bad things. In that moment, I thought if I would have said only to comfort her that I love her.

“I have to go, Neil. Mom would have been waiting for me…” her voice cracked as she got from bench and turned and ran out of my garage.
As soon as she ran off, I too ran behind her. That’s when sky opened up and started raining fast.

“Sam..wait..don’t leave….” I yelled to stop her.

Before I actually could do anything she turned her scooty and ran away from me. As I watched her going away from me, I felt my legs went weak and I crashed on ground.

I sat there in the rainfall for a while. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t do anything. Whatever I said to her now hurting me badly like some glass piercing my skin.

Was I in love with Sam? The feeling was strange to me…I always thought of her as one of my guy friend..i couldn’t fall in love with her..It was like falling in love with Arjun for me….

It was then I noticed Radhika came there holding umbrella in her hand. She was worried about me.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in confusion and worry

“nothing..” I lied

“Are you going to spill the beans or I need to call Arjun to punch you….”

“Sam had come to meet me…” I spoke

Her eyes were started studying mine.

“Okay…what happened then?”

“ She told me something….”

Her eyes went wide in shock but why I sensing that she knew what I going to tell her.

“Radz…She told me she is in love with me….”

With that she wrapped her hand around me and squealed in happiness…

“wow…Neil…finally she confess. I thought she would take whole lifetime to speak that in front of you….She was hell afraid”

I pulled her away. “ You know this already? “

“I just got to know this today itself…why are you asking me like this…you should be happy…” she asked while smiling wide

“Radz,, I’m not in love with her….”

With that her sparkling eyes turned into fire shots

“ don’t tell me you said that to her….don’t tell me,you crushed her heart Neil…”

I looked at ground in defeat. I couldn’t bring my eyes back to her.

“ OH MY GOD!!!….NEIL WHAT HAVE YOU DONE….WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON YOUR FREAKING MIND……YOU ARE AN ABSOULTE JERK….”

I have never been at receiving end of Radhika .For her I was always her sweet and caring bro who fulfilled her every wish. But she didn’t know how much it hurting me to hurt Sam. She was the only girl I cared about and don’t want to hurt at any cost.

“ALRIGHT!!” I Scremed. Radhika stopped blabbering. “ I know I have hurt her badly…but will you for god sake leave me alone…Please…”

I walked to the garage and locked myself in leaving bewildered Radhika back there.

Up to the point, I thought of myself as somewhat good guy. I told always to other girl to whom with I hook ups that I want just for time pass with them. I was kinder to strangers but I hurt Sam. I would have handle it differently with nicer tone then maybe she wouldn’t get hurt.. Though I tried hard but I hurt her already.

I have to talk to her. I need to explain her. I couldn’t lose her. She was my back bone. She always says that she needed me more but it wasn’t true. I needed her more than anything. I had to fix it. I wanted my best friend back to me.

********************************

A/N :

So how’s it?

These chapter is challenge in itself so I hope you guys enjoyed it..I was thinking deep for this chapter all the days. Comments from Satz and Jess makes helps me to write by Neil’s POV.

Please review and let me know what you think..So can your suggestions and support help me to write better always….

Love you All!!

24 comments

  1. Sathya

    |Registered Member

    I AM. TOTALLY BLANK NOW. NO WORDS R COMING FROM MY MOUTH. Dipu not even previous episode…. But today I felt moist n my eyes. I could feel what pain Neil is going through n from his pov what Sam is actually going through…. It’s like crystal clear… That from other pov am able to read each thoughts. BRILLIANT TO THE CORE. Hats offfff dipu to write his pov wonderful…. Now m almost sure that no one can’t scold him…. He really need time to realize his feelings on sam n hope he will soon. Love u so much dear for giving us the fantastic episode

    • Dipika

      |Author

      Satz satz datz… Thank you sooooo much for giving first review.. N m soooo flying in air with happiness yarr… Thank you soooo much for thid lovely words.. U make me realise his feelings dear.. So giving u credit… Ur eyes got moist ohhh.. My dearyyy… Don’t worry he too feel the same.. Love you
      😍😘😘😘😘😘

  2. Brin

    |Registered Member

    Outstanding episode, when will Neil realize he loves Sam too? Dipika you nail it, well done, eagerly waiting for the next update. 🙂

    • Dipika

      |Author

      Brin darling thank you soooo much for this amazing words dear.. N about neil’s realisation.. Umm.. When story going to end neil will realise.. Haha.. So time hai.. Love u.. 😍

  3. Jewel

    |Registered Member

    ohh dipika this was very emotional. i am not getting any words to tell about this…. u describe neil’s feeling very beautifully yaar…. i loved it…. it is really really really superb…. i don’t have any words, it fill a lot of emotions in me, i feel like my heart is aching….. i want to know what will happen between them next. really eager to read that plz post it soon….

    • Dipika

      |Author

      Jewel darling thank u sooooo much for thid lovely n. Overwhelming words dearrrr
      . 😍 😍 😍 u made mr feel special n good.. Soon i post nrxt one.. Love u lots.. 😘😘😘😘

  4. Jessie

    |Registered Member

    Deeppzzzz…..teddy hug darling…. U brought out the exact guy thing at a place..where Neil gets anger when Sam points abt his flirty behavior…U Hv no idea how much amused I was reading this… gosh…girl..u rocked it…!! Anger..pain…fear…irritation…all inter related feelings got well twined here… though we all knew the happening thro Sam’s pov..u made it all interesting with Neil…bridging 2 chippies with 2 diff POV on same incident is a tough one…u did it behana..!!! I read it thrice each time finding one thing or other new…!! U framed each scenes well.with no gaps..nothing was left aloof…love struck puppies..wah! A typical sarcastic remark when u are down! Love u loads..and surprised with this package…muaaaaahhhhhh….TC.

    • Dipika

      |Author

      Omg my darling jessss u put all the extract of chappy in one comment.. Thank u sooooo much feeling n reliving all thr emotions tht i put her.. M. Speeches to pay my gratitude.. U made mr day.. U made me believe on myself… Thank you.. Tight hug
      😍 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 😘 love u judwa behana..

  5. Rossy

    |Registered Member

    U need no suggestions at least from me….u awesome heroine and quite natural in ur talent….u potrayed emotional points so beautifully I bliwn away…this time one…no no….more punches for Neil….aargh..idiot 😈😈😈 how many times a girl say she loved him…huh….m jumping out of frustration….yuiiuuu….asar of deeply emerged…me in story…huh…radz gave a good dose…he needed more….and heroine one thing u know m new n slow in watty…didn’t know how to do things…will see u there later…hehehe…happy bhai duhj…..enjoy…n don’t forget my gift😉😉

    • Dipika

      |Author

      Rossy darling thank u soooo. Much.. M on top of the world.. U forgive neil.. Bsch gaya… Radz ka character tumse inspired hai.. Lol.. Threatening tone copied from u.. Lol… N i need ur suggestions always so never say tht.. Love u darling.. 😍 😍 😍 😘 😘 😘

  6. arti viswanathan

    Dipika good one yaar.. I loved it dear…and I will be waiting for next episode too… Excellently written dear.

  7. Swathi

    Deepss I was waiting for this!!
    Neil’s Veiw , confusion, thoughts,his urge to console her, fear of loosing her n pain of hurting her.everything is so beautifully explained.N the rainfall theme added more effect n feelings to this shot.loved it soo much I truely short of words now!!
    Love you n tc♥

    • Dipika

      |Author

      Ohhhh Swathi darling thank you sooooo much for this Awsome n. Lovely words.. M jumping in happiness.. M. Relieved tht u guys understand neil.. Love u 😍 😍 😍 😘 😘 😘 😘

  8. Gauri

    |Registered Member

    Dipu this is so emotional…. and very real…..you exactly wrote the way heart thinks ….loved it his confused hrt feelings…everything was so perfect….you write the feelings so well becoz u write from hrt…u tend to feel ur characters amazing…loving it….and thanks for the dedication making my vacation splendid ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 love u

    • Dipika

      |Author

      Gauri darling i always can’t get enough of ur words whether its ur stories or ur comments.. Its always make me happy like i got some lottery… Thank u sooooo much always supporting me darling… So u njoying.. Good yar.. Love u lots 😍😍😍😍😍😍😘😘

  9. Aasthu

    |Registered Member

    Hey Deepu its nyc………….I want to comment more……..but no time………a bit busy…….hope u won’t mind………………..umm did u answer my question in the prev chappy??? if nt plz answer it here or plzz do tell it once again……….loads of love………tc……

    • Dipika

      |Author

      Thank u soooo much Aasthu dear.. I can understand dear.. For me one word is enough to get motivate from u guys.. N yess i ended my lil bride.. N about nrxt story i will start soon as i get time.. Love u lots 😍 😍

  10. Roma

    |Registered Member

    Awesome, marvellous episode. ..dipsss my lovely sweeeeeetheart. …it was really very heart touching n emotional. ….u nailed it my honeyyy. …ur each n every word explained the condition of neil’s heart n his mind….very beautifully u narrated this tough situation. ..I’m just so spellbound n overwhelmed my sweeeeeetheart. ….ur writing skills r getting very high quality with ur each update…..neil missing sam badly….his convo with sam…his each expression was showing his palpitations…..he loves her immensely but still thinking him being not good enough for her…..n he hurt her with his harsh words. Ahhhhh….rads scolded him….she should slap/punch him tooo for his stupidity. …..I was face palming myself also….uffff…these guys….neil is just impossible…..now he doesn’t wanna loose his best friend….still friend….when neil will realize his love for her….his words…I was lovely u but I’m not in love with u….were soooo mind blowing. .shattered Sam’s heart… ..meri jaan dipssss u narrated soooooo brilliantly. …..I was just lost in this story….I was missing very curious for story ahead. …keep it up honeyyy. Love you loads. muaaaaahhhhhh Bear hug my sweeeeeetheart darling Dipsss ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡☆☆☆☆☆☆ 😉 😀

    • Roma

      |Registered Member

      I* love* you but I’m not in love with you….were amazing…I wanna break neil’s head for that….stupid. ..real idiot….jerk…lol…I’m cursing all the bad words to my dimple boy neil…..plzzz give him some brain dipssss. ….love you loads. muaaaaahhhhhh Bear hug ♡♡♡♡ 😉

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