I hope you guys are liking this ff, and please let me know down the comments if you are or aren’t. Because your comments are what keep me going. For some reason tu on let me reply to some of the comments but i want you guys to know, i appreciate every single oone of your comments and cherish them all.
Here is the prvious episoe of this ff- Click here
I hope you enjoy this epi…
I just dont understand. 7 long years Sambhav was nothing but a perfect father figure to Yuvaan, but today… He-h- he was always a good friend to me… I dont even.. i dont… i just dont have the capacity left within me to try and comprehend the jumbled puzzle pieces scattered in my mind. I wanted to be strong enough for my son, but i couldnt stop the ruthless drops of tears leaving my eyes. I was a useless mother and a hopeless woman. No wonder Yuvraj asked me to leave. Who else could i blame for this but me, wherever i go i leave a wake of detruction behind me. I had no one to blame for anything but me. But I had to tell Sambhav, i have to, that even if we are married and Yuvaan considered him his father, he had no right to do what he did.
..end of pov..
Suhani’s fury was unexplainable, she could bear about anything except Yuvaan’s pain. She steps toward Sambhav, her big eyes threatening. Her pounding heart insanely confused.
Sambhav racked his brains for a solution to his very complicated conumdrum and suddenly it struck him.
Suhani- SAMBHAV! (She pointed a finger at him angrily, her eyes hazy with rage)
Suddenly Sambhav pretended to hold his head, pushing back his hair, with intense dizziness. He stumbles around in hazardly circles, blindly trying to grab on to furniture to ‘steady’ himself. Suhani stands back suddenly, her mouth slightly open in suprise and friendly concern, her words slienced.
Suhani- Sambhav? Are you… (Sambhav shakes his head as if he had jus been awoken from a dream and opens his previous clamped shut eyes) okay?
Sambhav looks around the room with bewildered eyes, pretending as if he was very disorientated.
Sambhav- What? What- What just happened? (Suhani’s eyes narrow with confusion) I was just- i walked in here and then suddenly i- was dizzy and- i (Sambhav acted as if he almost jumped with suprise to see Suhani next to him. And his feigned suprise also made Suhani’s heart skip a beat.) Suhani? You weren’t here when i came in. It was Yuvaan and… what just happened Suhani?
Suhani just stared at Sambhav in disbelief for a few seconds, completely unable to understand the situation. She never thought bad of anyone, and somewhere in her new stone cold exterior the innocent Suhani was buried, and she immediately accepted that Sambhav must have yelled at Yuvaan in a subconcious state- that something had happened wrong with sambhav mentally. She thought that her friend could never be like this. She didnt forgive him but she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and not yell at him in this state.
Suhani- Nothing Sambhav. Dont worry about it. (She said this facing the floor, hiding the mixed emotions on her face.)
Sambhav decided that this might be a good time to try and get Suhani closer to him and to care for him.
Sambhav- Aaah! Suhani! My head is hurting! (He yelped out in ‘pain’)
Suhani spun on her foot and walked out, leaving a trail of ignorance at her footsteps. She was scared of herself, and what she might have done to Sambhav if she stayed there, brutally rageful words she would regret later were at the tip of her tongue.
Sambhav watched her go with eyes that were about to bleed out in rage. He spat out whispered cuss words at Yuvraj at suhani and even little Yuvaan.
Leaving the room was a very diffiult decision,a mental battle raging like a typhoon through my brain. I had Yuvaan in my arms roaring with weeps and I needed to take him away from that Sambhav but Suhani… I was terrifyed to leave her in the room with that man. If he could do that to Yuvaan, what could he do to her? I knew it… i knew he wasnt to be trusted. I told Suhani… I told her that he was a bad person. But Suhani blindly trusts everyone, and she will carry on to do so. She will blindly trust everyone but me. But who am i and what have i done to deserve her trust?
..End of POV..
Yuvraj still cradled a weepy Yuvaan through the living room of the shrivastav house. His wails had quietened down to little whimpers and Yuvraj whisered shushes in to Yuvaan’s ear as he tiredly wiped his nose on Yuvraj’s shirt. His legs clung around Yuvraj’s middle desperatley, as if it was the only thing keeping him safe. Lata and Pankaj were sitting in the living room and turned to look at the father and son. Yuvraj or Yuvaan didnt notice them. Yuvaan buried his soaked face in to Yuvraj’s shirt and Yuvraj nuzzled his nose into Yuvaan’s hair. Pankaj smiled at them with the most whole hearted smile and Lata’s heart was warmed. But then she remembered how Yuvraj had left Suhani alone at the mandap and broke her daughter’s heart. She suddenly felt uncomfortable seeing Yuvraj walk in to the bedroom soothingly rocking Yuvaan. She abruptly stood up, making Pankaj look up at her in confusion and silently walks to the kitchen.
Yuvraj walks in to Yuvaan’s bedroom, meeting Yuvaan’s eyes with a fatherly smile.
Sambhav walks in to the kitchen where Lata was working with a frown on her face. Various scheme’s brewed in his mind, and a scary famished lust for suhani, which could destroy everything. But he knew that first he had to win back her trust and his little drama wasnt enough. He walked up to Lata and gently patted her shoulder, making her jum to face him in suprise. But she then smiled when she saw Sambhav, Sambhav returned a false innocent smile and leaned down to touch her feet.
Sambhav- Hello auntie ji. (Lata leaned down and grabbed his hands and brought his back up, shaking his head no.)
Lata- Sambhav beta, do yo know why Yuvaan was crying? (Sambhav stuttered, short for words )
Sambhav- I dont know auntie, but because of that Suhani’s mood is really down…
Lata’s facial features cramped with concern, but sambhav touched the to of her hand with his, a superficial comforting smile on his face.
Sambhav- No need to worry na, Sambhav is here! (He winked and thumed his chest proudly making Lata smile slightly.)
Sambhav- I think this calls for a romantic breakfast tomorrow? What say? (He raised his eyebrows in question with a laugh. Lata shook her head with a sigh and smile, nodding her head in assurance.)
Lata- Teek kai beta (she said blinking reassuringly) I’ll set it up for you.
Sambhav smiles at her then turns to leave the room, bearing his teeth in annoyance as soon as she couldn’t see him.
Suhani walks in to the living room confusion raging through her mind. She sees Yuvani comfortably sleeping in the lap of her grandfather. Suhani looks at Pankaj with a huge grateful smile on her face. She kneeled down in front of him and gently stroked Yuvani’s hair, her eyes were smiling but deep deep inside there was a glint of fear, which no one in her life had ever been able to spot when it was there, except Yuvraj. No one had ever understood her like Yuvraj had.
Suhani- Was she okay papa, she was very scared after all the yelling… (Suhani’s brows furrowed in worry and Pankaj’s face crincked with confusion.)
Pankaj- All the yelling? Who was yelling? (Suhani opened her lips, no words leaving them. She wasnt going to tell him, as she couldn’t be the one to cause anybody worry.)
Suhani- Where is Yuvaan? (she tried to distract her father from the subject. Her father looked at her in question but accepted the situation.)
Pankaj- Uhh. Yuvraj just took him in to the bedroom. (Pankaj pointed to the bedroom, his mouth a straight line but his eyes still confused. Suhani got a undescribable gooey feeling inside when she imagined Yuvaan in Yuvraj’s arms.)
Suhani- Thank you papa… (She planted a small kiss on his cheek and smiled sweetly.)
Suhani stood up and walked toward the bedroom.
Suhani froze in doorway and had the biggest smile on her face. Her smile was bright enough that it could erase almost all the pain she had felt in the last 7 years. It was like a warm glue that could fill in the gaps between all fractures in her heart. But she could never forget the stinging scars Yuvraj left behind. She was this happy because she was watching Yuvraj and Yuvaan.
Yuvaan had sat in Yuvraj’s lap and turned to face him, a childish pout of his face. Yuvraj was smiling slightly and wiping away Yuvaan tears with the tips of his thumbs. His arm was encirled around Yuvaan protectively and Yuvaan had snuggled in to his arms.
Yuvraj- Champ… you shouldn’t be crying, your a big strong boy arent you? (Yuvraj and Yuvaan looked at each other a strong father bond in the distance between them.)
Yuvaan- haan, mumma says strong boys and girls should never cry. (Yuvaan stops his tears and sniffles, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.)
Yuvraj- Well your mumma is absolutely correct… (Yuvraj smiled brightly, and suhani smiled from outside the room as well. The situation being one of she dreamed of.) Anyways, its not like your Sambhav papa would want to ever hurt you Yuvaan, he wouldn’t have meant to shout… (It was difficult for yuvraj to say this, but his priority was Yuvaan.)
Yuvaan- Sambhav uncle isnt my papa! (His little voice was stubborn and determined and Yuvraj and Suhan’s eyes were wide with suprise) You are my papa! (Yuvaan threw his hand around Yuvraj’s neck and hugged him tight. Yuvraj grabs around him, Yuvaan places his head on Yuvraj’s shoulder.)
The smile hadn’t moved from my face but my eyes had now turned sad with longing for this reality. Yuvraj had clamped his eyes shut, gripping on to Yuvaan as if it was his lifeline. Even with his eyes shut i could see the sorrow that lurked beneath it. Yuvraj never seemed hapy nowadays excet from when he was with the kids. The rest of the time he had this smile on his face that never reached his sweet brown eyes. Like the Yuvraj i love- the yuvraj i used to love… doesnt exist anymore. But whatever is wrong between us there is one thing i couldn’t never doubt and that is Yuvraj’s affection toward Yuvaan. It was undeniable that Yuvraj would be the best father for Yuvaan. It was evident from the way that he is nuzzling his nose in to Yuvaan’s hair right now. And the way he planted a tender kiss on Yuvaan’s cheek, a tear dropping from his eye.Which was why it killed when he ran away on our wedding day… My fingers tingled to wipe it away Yuvraj’s tears, i tell myself i dont care for him… but everytime i see his pain it feels like ive been pierced in the lungs.
Yuvaan reaches over and wipes Yuvraj’s tear, making me sigh out of relief and making Yuvraj smile widely.
Yuvaan- Dont cry papa… Why are you crying? (His eyes were as round as saucers an i could see the fear of today settling in his fresh innocent mind. And i knew from worry lines wrinking Yuvraj’s face that he could see it too.)
Yuvraj- Your mumma would be crying if she was here with you now wouldn’t she, so i was just being her for you (He smiled still not noticing me leaning against the doorway watching them. I could see that he was trying to lift Yuvaan’s mood.)
Yuvaan giggled while nodding, making me smile my old childish frowning smile. When i realised it was plastered on my face i wiped it away. A lot had happened in 7 years, and pain ran to deep to forget it all.
..end of POV..
Yuvaan- I dont need mumma right now, i have my papa right? And my papa will never leave me or yell at me, will you? (Yuvaan looked up at Yuvraj with the cutest eyes and Yuvraj had to turn away to wipe the tears leaving from his eyes that ached for his family back.)
He shook his head no with a smile, leaning his back against the bedframe uncomfortably. Yuvaan sat on Yuvraj’s lap sideways with his head on Yuvraj’s shoulder and facing the wall. Yuvraj gently stroked Yuvaan’s back till he heard Yuvaan’s gentle snoring. Suhani still stood in the doorway, observing the son and father with a smile but her brows were furrowed and her eyes tensed, her breathing loud and anxious.
Yuvraj heard her heavy breathing an turned his head to the door. He saw her, looking beautiful in a figure hugging silk nightie but he immediaely recognised the tension in her eyes. He beckoned her inside and then pointed at the sleeping Yuvaan. She nodded with a grateful smile, her eyes still flustered. She turned to leave she starts walking but then…
Yuvraj grabs hold of her hand still not standing up, stopping her.
We looked down at our hands, and though id done it myself i stared down at my hand around her wrist with dumb disbelief, rendered speechless. I could see the pain in Suhani’s eyes, and i mentally hit myself for causing her more pain. I know i should let go, but something at the very depth of my heart wouldnt let me, i was feeling her cool smooth skin after such a long time that i craved for more. I felt sick at my own selfishness, i felt guilty. Bittersweet memories floated through the air and the still silence between us was so special and refreshing that neither of us dared to break it. I wanted to pull her in to my arms and feel her long hair between my fingertips as i put her to sleep like i did to Yuvaan but i knew i couldn’t. I knew things had changed. Our egos were bigger, are minds burdened and our hearts weighted. Our old selves were gone, and our old love was gone, however badly i wished for it back. I let her hand go, and let my arm droop at my side, deflated.
..end of POV..
Yuvraj- Why are you so tensed Suhani? (Suhani sat down on the bed next to him avoiding any eye contact.)
Suhani- Yuvaan… (She shivered slightly and Yuvraj had to control his arms that wanted to automaticaly wrap around her.) I married Sambhav for Yuvaan but now he is saying he doesnt want Sambhav for a papa… i cant just divorce him like that…
Yuvraj- I had warned you that- (Yuvraj let his emotions rush out, suddenly letting out his true opinion)
Suhani- Yuvraj. (Yuvraj could hear pain in her voice, immediatley bringing him back to his sense. Suhani’s eyes had dulled with pain and Yuvraj choked with guilt.) Sambhav was dizzy afterwards and didn’t seem to remember anything. I dont know anymore…
Yuvraj frowned in confusion, he didn’t understand. He fiddled with his fingers, suspicion clouding his brain. He wasn’t as trusting as Suhani, and especially not as trusting of Sambhav. But he couldn’t sit there and see Suhani sitting there with that tension deeply set in her eyes.
Yuvraj- He’s a small kid suhani, they get angry and then forgive. Not like us… I am sure he will forget all about tonight, tomorrow. (He tried as hard as he could to muster a reassuring smile.)
A smile started to appear on Suhani’s face and it satisfyed Yuvraj. Suddenly Yuvraj exclaimed ow! Making Suhani look up at Yuvraj with wide eyed worry, just to see that yuvaan had just kicked Yuvraj in his sleep. Suhani sighed at him with a smile and hit him playfully hard on his shoulder.
Yuvraj- Hey! (He smiled brighter than he had in 7 years)
Suhani- You’ve always been such a big baby! He just kicked you lightly and you make such a big fuss…(Suhani was still giggling and it it up Yuvraj’s heart. He yawned loudly rubbng his eyes.)
Yuvraj- A big baby? See your son cant keep still in his sleep just like you! (He lightIy pinched her arm making a cute angry face.)
Suhani looked at where Yuvraj touched her arm and then remembered the bitter truth, the words of their nok jhok rung in her ears and she could feel herself slipping back in to the old innocent suhani. The bindaas Suhani, vunerable to people’s rotten games. And she couldn’t let that happen. She looked to the floor.
Suhani- okay Yuvraj, im just going to go to bed no- (She suddenly felt something hit her shoulder, and she inched her head sidewards to see what it was.)
She was faced with Yuvraj asleep on her shoulder, his breathing heavy and steady. She smiled down at him sadly, and stroked his hair with a shaking hand, aching to turn back time. She lifts Yuvaan of Yuvraj and settles him on the pillow and also comfortably places Yuvraj in the bed as well. She covers them both with a blanket, planting a kiss on Yuvaan’s cheek. She sits next to Yuvraj, perching on the side of the bed. She watches them with a lost look in her eyes, holding herself back from caressing Yuvraj’s cheek.
Abruptly Yuvraj’s phone vibrated violently on the pillow next to him and suhani leaned forward to look at it. Pratima’s name was flashing on the screen and Suhani picked it up and recieved the call.
Suhani- Hey maa. (Pratima gasped quietly with suprise)
Suhani- haan maa, Yuvraj has fallen alseep with Yuvaan. (pratima smiled, her heart warmed.)
Pratima- Oh ok. (She let out a huge sigh of relief.) Tell that Yuvraj, for god sake to tell me when he is going to stay somewhere.
Suhani- tee kai maa (She smiled slighty) Bye
Pratima- Bye beta, go and get a good night sleep… (Suhani could hear the smile through her voice. And they both cut the phone.)
Suhani placed the phone back in its place. She tries to stand up but the realises something is holding her back. She looks down and sees that Yuvraj had grabbed hold of her hand tightly and was snuggling his head and nuzzling his nose in to it, she tried to move her hand but he pulled it back with a moan.
Suhani pryed his fingers away and walked out, wiping away a tear of sentimental yearning and love.
The morning sun gleams through the clouds and glistens through the window, shining over Yuvraj’s eyes and breaking him out of his slumber. He opens his eyes and rubs them, looking around the room. His eyes were squinted with confusion, he couldn’t remember how he fell asleep last night. He smiled while running a hand through his hair remembering his nok jhok with Suhani last night, before biting the inside of his mouth remembering how life is now again. His gaze fell upon Yuvaan leaning over some cardboard and decorating it. Yuvraj gets up out of the bed with a huge stretch and a yawn and makes his way toward yuvaan. He kneels in front of him.
Yuvraj- What are you up to Champ? (He raised his eyebrows in curiousity)
Yuvaan handed it to Yuvraj with a smile Yuvraj looked at it and his entire facial expression changed. There was a smile on his face but a flood of pain in his eyes, leaking out in tears. And a teardrop landed on the cardboard, staining it, creating a testament of his longing and love. He wiped his tears before Yuvaan could see his weakness.
Yuvraj- Thank you Champ… (Yuvraj ruffled Yuvaan’s hair fondly)
Yuvaan- Will you show it Mumma for me? (He smiled adorably up at Yuvraj.)
Yuvraj- You go yourself Champ, she will probably call you for breakfast anyway… (Yuvaan made big puppy eyes and a cute pout.)
Yuvaan- Please papa… (Hearing the word papa from Yuvaan’s mouth made Yuvraj weak at the knees and melted his heart. He nodded with a smile and a sigh and left the room, with Yuvaan’s present in his hand.)
Sambhav tried to keep his hand on Suhani’s upper back and lead her in to the living room lata had decorated like a fairytale dream. Suhani squirmed out of his grasp uncomfortably and walked keeping a distance between them.
Suhani- Sambhav where are you taking me? (She tried to keep the edge of sterness out of her tne, but couldn’t.
Sambhav- To our romantic breakfast mam… (Sambhav struggled to keep up his upbeat posiitive facade in his voice when really he was about to explode in frustration.)
They reached the living room and Suhani’s eyes widened in bewilderment at the scale of it all.
Suhani- Sambhav i dont think this is the time to… (Sambhav moved the chair and gestured for suhani to sit on it, in a gentlemanly way. He looked slightly to the side purposely and Suhani followed his gaze and saw her mum standing in the corner. She realised she couldn’t show any problems when her mum was around so she sat down. She smiled politley when Sambhav walked around sat in his seat. Suhani pushed the food around her plate uncomfortably and Sambhav noticed this.
Sambhav then kneels on the floor infront of Suhani, in a room glistening with decorations and golden atmospheric rays of light tinking from fairlights. He takes a beautiful red rose from his pocket and holds it out infront of her with his usual creepy flirty smile and nod. Suhani looked down at it tenatively, her courteous smile falterinng.
Yuvraj walks down the corridoor with a unual feeling of contenedness. He reaches the living room but then stops suddenly, his eyes filling with hurt at seeing Sambhav and Suhani, with Sambhav holding out the rose. And what he had clamped in his hand, clattered to the floor silenty. His happiness shattering along with dull thud of the object hitting the floor.
It shouldnt matter to me, but it was the thing that mattered the most in the world. I wanted with all my might to not care about her anymore, she wanted to leave me didn’t she? I shoudn’t care for her. But i couldn’t stop. When i see Sambhav lingering close to her, possesively hold his hand on her back or talk abut loving her and treat her to things. I get so angry that i cant think straight, I can’t breathe properly,and i just want to wrap my arms wround his neck and wring the life out of him. I want to remind him that he has no right to lay his filthy hands on her, look at her with those shifty eyes, she’s mine. Im the only one who can touch her, or look at her, Im the only one she loves. But then i remember that she isnt mine anymore, that now she is his. All the yearning for her builds up a formidable team of unfaltering emotions in my mind and burdens my soul. When i stared in to her big beautiful eyes and i saw that glint of that old Suhani i was mad for, i couldn’t deny the feeling brewing in my lonely heart but she was still his. And knowing that felt like every bone in my body is being snapped, all my muscles were beaing teared, my skin is being seared and organs were being punctured, as if I had been sentenced to expirence the pain of death for the rest of eternity.
Yuvraj watches them, his lips unconciously trembling and his eyes glassy. He refrained from making a noise.
Suhani looked down at the rose, thinking whether to accept it or not. She thought to do it just to please her mother but then thought it would be failing her son and herself, if she acceted such injustice that Sambhav had done to Yuvaan, whether Sambhav knew he yelled or not. Suhani took her hand and politley pushed away Sambhav’s hand.
Suhani- I’m sorry Sambhav. (Yuvraj’s eyes brightened with hope and happiness and he smiled even though he felt guilty.)
Sambhav just tried to smile it off, though inside his mind he was was furious enough to explode.
Sambhav- I know it hurt you when i yelled at Yuvaan and im sorry but… (His words were a quick rush but suhani stood up midway between them.)
Suhani- I said im sorry na Sambhav, im not in the mood to talk, ill talk later. (Her wods were in a lat monotone and then she starts walking out the room.)
Yuvraj quickly flattens himself to hide when Suhani comes through the door. Sambhav leaves through another door grunting in frustration. Suhani stops still when she sees what Yuvraj has dropped on the floor. She picks it up slows and turns it around. Yuvraj watches her from the corner of his eye with a small smile.
Suhani looks down a the picture that Yuvaan had printed out and decorated. It was a picture of her, Yuvraj, Yuvaan and Yuvani the day before they day they were meant to get married. They all had huge smiles on their face and a gentle twinkle in their eyes. Suhani smiled a wistful smile, gently moving her fingers down the picture, reminscing better times. A tear falls from her eye and hands on the picture right next to the stain of Yuvraj’s tear. She sits down against another wall and leans her head against it, closing her tired eyes. Yuvraj appears from where he had hidden and stands infront of her.
Yuvraj- Suhani? Whats wrong? (He didnt want to reveal that he had seen what had happened.)
Suhani- Nothing, im fine. (she puts on a smile and stands up. She tries to walk away but then…)
Suhai slips on the cardboard she left on the floor and starts falling to the ground. Yuvraj catches her by the waist, holding her body against his. They could hear each others heartbeats thundering her against their ribcages. They have an intense eyelock, searching each others eyes to see whether the other one had any love left for them. They eyes were filled with aching. It hurt when suhani could feel Yuvraj’s arm encircling her waist and his long gentle fingers pushing the hair in her face behind her ear. It killed to feel Suhani’s cool forehead against his and to touch the silky smooth skin of her bare waist and have the edge of her saree tickle his fingertips. Because they knew they shouldnt be doing this anymore. But never of them could let go.
‘I know it hurt you when i yelled at Yuvaan and im sorry but…’ Sambhav’s words suddenly shoot through her mind knocking her in the face. She stood up, keeping her hand on Yuvraj’s chest to steady herself.
Suhani- Yuvraj… (Her voice contained so much confusion and curiousity that it immediatley grabbed Yuvraj’s attention. He nodded as if asking what, his brows furrowed. Half relieved that teir awkward romantic situation had been forgotten.)
Suhani- After Sambhav yelled at Yuvaan he then seemed as if he couldnt remember anything that had happend but today he apoligised for what he did, meaning he remembers…
Yuvraj’s eyes narrow with realisation and suprise.
Yuvraj- Which means he was lying… (Suhani nods solemnly.)
Suhani- But why would he lie?
They both looked at each other, confusion and suspicion evident in their eyes.
Precap- Suhani- Why was Sambhav uncle so angry when you touched his hone yuvaan beta?
Yuvraj and Suhani both looked Yuvaan expectantly.
Yuvaan- He was getting a call mumma and i picked it up and a man on the other end said…
Here is the latest ei of my other ff- http://www.tellyupdates.com/pyaar-ko-nei-thood-saktha-hai-episode-14-suhani-si-ek-ladki-yuvani/