Hey guys, Im really sorry it takes me so long to update. Im going to try to update more regularly from now on. Im intending to update every Sunday/Monday, but i might not be able to keep up with it and i might even post more regularly than that. This Sambhav drama in this ff will end very very soon.This episode is suuupppppeeerr long and i put a lot of effort in… so please comment telling me about your favourite bits, and i hope you enjoy…
Yuvaan and Yuvani walk to school with bright smiles on their faces, a youthful glow that came with the bliss of seeing their parents together. They had their backpacks hitched on their shoulders and lunchboxes clasped between their fingers that Suhani had lovingly packed early in the morning after a huge struggle to get out of bed…
The sunlight filtered through the cream coloured blinds and seeped through her heavy eyelids. She turned around in Yuvraj’s arms with a groan and peeled open her tired eyes. She smiled as she was faced with Yuvraj’s sleeping face. She admired his cute ruffled hair, pink-tipped nose and sweet innocent smile as she stroked his cheek. She felt like she was drowning in his irresistible adorableness, he looked handsome, charming and sweet and it melted her heart. She felt his arm tighten around her middle and his eyebrows frowned childishly, she gasped as he pulled her closer to his chest and caressed the back of her hair, while still sleeping. He was clinging on to her in fear as if he thought she would slip away, he whimpered in panic and anxiety. He subconsciously stroked the bandage around her hair in intuitive care. She looked at him in worry, sensing he was trapped in a horrific dream.
Yuvraj- Suh- suh- meri Suhani ko mujse cheena math… please Suhani… stay with me. I won’t let you go.
He tossed and turned but refused to loosen his grip on her, she smiled a tiny bit through her intense worry, seeing his love for her that she never thought she deserved. Suhani comforted him until his shaky breathing settled by gently stroking his back and running her fingers through his hair while he subconscious snuggled in to her chest in fear. She then leaned into his messy hair. She inhaled the scent of it deeply with a small smile. It smelled strongly of his manly musky scent- it smelt of him- not of the shampoo that reminded her of him- but purely him. She planted a sweet kiss in his hair.
For some reason she felt as if she hadn’t sat admiring him like this in years, when, if everything had been normal in the seven years she had forgotten, this would be what she did every sunrise. Yuvraj told her the seven years she had forgotten were absolutely normal and the same and she knew he would never ever lie to her, but her restless gut was trying to tell her otherwise. She looked at the alarm clock and almost jumped in alarm, she had very little time to prepare the children’s lunch.
She tried to wriggle out of Yuvraj’s strong grip, trying to free herself without disturbing him. He groaned and squeezed his eyes in a half-asleep response, she didn’t want to get up either… she wanted to stay in the safety and warmth in his arms forever but the time was catching up to her fantasy. She tried to free herself again but this time… Yuvraj tugged her arm with a frustrated groan which caused her to roll back close beside him. He wrapped both arms tighter around her waist and snuggled his head in to the crook of her neck, and stroking his nose gently across her cheek.
Suhani- Yuvi- yuvi… let me go
Yuvi- Suhani, don’t get up yet jaan… (he murmured in his sleep)
Suhani- Yuvi, chodo na (she tried to pry his hands of her with playful frustration)
Yuvraj frowned adorably like a child and refuse to move his hand adamantly
Yuvraj- no, kabhi nai (he was still half-asleep and unaware of his actions.)
Suhani blushed slightly with a small smile that turned to worry as she glanced at the clock. She had to wake him up if she wanted him to let go. She bit her lip in deep thought, and then she blushed profusely when the idea hit her.
She lifted his head toward her, pushing his chin up with her finger. She pushed back the messy locks of tousled hair that hid his face. And then without a second thought, she brought him closer, pulling his neck with her hand… and planted her lips against his. She gave him a soft quick loving kiss, with a cute smile.
The kiss ran like a jolt of electricity through Yuvraj’s veins. It rushed through like caffeine through his system and caused his heart to race. His eyes flew open, rounded in surprise.
Suhani couldn’t suppress her laughter at his adorable surprised expression. She burst in to laughter into Yuvraj’s muscular upper arm.
He smiled whilst he watched her. He revelled in her gorgeous, her rows of pearly whites that tinkled in the light, the vibration of her joyous laughter on to his arms, and her eyes. Her goddamn eyes. They stole his breath away every time. He had memorised each stroke of colour in them, the little golden streaks that sparkled when she laughed, and the deep brown that had this force that had a grip on his heart.
Suhani- Your so lazy Sadu! Get up!
Yuvraj yawned exaggeratedly making Suhani sigh with a smile.
Yuvraj- Come on yaar… Let me stay with my wife in our bed for a little while longer na? (He pulled her on top of him and grabbed her waist.)
Suhani- Besharam! (She playfully hit his shoulder and then grabbed a pillow and hit him with that too, making them both laugh.)
Yuvraj- Whats wrong in it jhansi ki rani? You are my wife. This is my room. I can do whatever i want? How am i being shameless?
Suhani- arrrey… this sadu can wriggle his way out of anything. Chodo na Yuvi… i have to make the kids lunch…
Yuvraj froze and the smile dropped of his face. Suhani noticed this immediately and watched him with a confused and worried expression as his arms around her loosened.
-Kids. – he thought. Yuvaani and Yuvani… they were born. Him and Suhani weren’t married. For a second he had forgotten… this wasn’t a time where this is how each glorious morning began. 7 years had passed and everything was ruined, all that he is doing now is betrayal and deceit. The Suhani that hates him now… how disgusting would she feel to know that when she was injured this is what they did; she would feel that he is taking advantage of her. And he couldn’t bear that.
He sprung up, startling Suhani.
Yuvraj- When did we fall asleep? Why didn’t you remind me to move to the sofa Suhani?
Suhani- What? Why would I make you move to the sofa Yuvi? (She again got that unsettling feeling again which was portrayed on her face.)
Yuvraj placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to smile to comfort her, while stammering for an excuse.
Yuvraj- Your are injured na? (He ran his fingers on her bandage with eyes that began to tear.) You need all the space you can get without me kicking you in the night.
She tried to smile back, but she was surer now… he was hiding something from her. Something about the 7 years she had forgotten.
..end of flashback..
Yuvaan and Yuvani laughed as they chattered about the morning.
Yuvaan- How funny was it Yuvani when we made mumma and papa blush?
Yuvani- We didn’t make them blush! Sharad mamu made them blush!… by teasing papa about mumma’s sindoor that had smudged on his neck and cheek!
Yuvaan- yeah that. How did it smudge anyway?
Yuvani- Arrey chup now Yuvaan, we have reached… (Yuvani sighed and they both laughed.)
They neared the school gates and the bell rang loudly. The siblings were just about to enter the doors but then Yuvani glanced at her shoes with a sigh.
Teacher- Come on kids! Class is about to start!
Yuvaan-Hey Yuvani! Hurry up! We’re gonna be late!
Yuvani- Just go in Yuvaan, ill come in just a second. I just have to tie my shoelaces… (Yuvaan innocently smiled at his sister and walked through the doors after waving to her.)
Yuvani starts to lean down to tend to her laces but then suddenly… an arm grabs her middle and lifts her in to the air. Before she could call out for help the unknown figure forcefully places his hand over her mouth and quickly hides them behind a wall. She flails in the struggle of escape to no avail. Tears stream from her open eyes of shock and she pleads to god with her youthful innocent heart for her mum and her dad, scared for her life. The man sprinted down the road still painfully gripping on to her stomach causing her to feel sick as they moved.
The hand that shuts her mouth falls and she takes a deep shaky breath of relief and then…
Yuvani- MUMMA! PAPA! (She yelled on the top of her lungs but they were already far from where her mother or father could hear her. She weeped sorely.)
Man- CHUP! (He threw her to the ground in frustration.)
Yuvani winced as her got grazed by the concrete. It bled a little as she sobbed and screamed.
Man- I SAID. IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR SO CALLED MUMMA OR PAPA AGAIN. KEEP QUIET!
Yuvani immediately silenced, shivering with unease and fear. He grabs her by the wrist and begins to drag her away…
The birla house was following its normal schedule, the brothers relishing bhavana’s and Suhani’s delicious breakfast before going to office. And rags and menaka sipping their green tea, flicking through their fashion magazines and gossiping. But a magical lighter atmosphere had filled the birla house that now finally felt like home. The old Suhani was back whose fun bubbly innocent personality was the life of the house. It felt as if for a while all the negativity had vanished… except in fake dadi and sambhav’s stone cold hearts.
There was a knock on the door, which Suhani ran to open. She unlocked the door and was insanely happy to see her mother smiling at her outside the door. She threw her arms around her mother and they both tightly hugged. Lata’s eyes watered as she slowly ran her fingers over the bandage around Suhani’s head and then piercingly looked in to Yuvraj’s eyes, somehow feeling as if the root cause for all her daughter’s pain was him.
Suhani- andar aao mummy… (she beckoned her mother inside and then stood by Yuvraj’s side. Lata noticed the face Sambhav made at this.)
Thats why she was here, she knew this was all hurting Sambhav who was a poor guy who was only trying to keep her daughter happy.
Lata- Sambhav beta. Mein tumare liye kuch karedke laya hai. ( she goes over to him and smiles as he pretends to act like an ideal son-in-law and takes her blessings. She gifts him a shirt.)
The shirt was a light green and was some sort of foreign brand, on the bottom there was embroidered outline of a giraffe logo. Yuvraj watched with sadness in his hazel eyes. Sambhav faked a smile as he accepted the gift.
Sharad placed a comforting hand on Yuvraj’s arm. Suhani again felt that feeling of confusion and uncertainty crawl up under her skin, she frowned.
-Why is mummy gifing this random friend of mine who I dont even know why he is here? And why not to Yuvraj, her son-in-law and the one to keep me so happy? I have to find out what i have forgotten. – she thought.
Suhani washes the dishes humming a filmy tune. She felt a certain bliss in the simplicity and distraction of household chores.
Yuvraj stood behind her, watching her intently. He was enraptured by her beauty. Her yellow salwar flowed perfectly over her curvacious figure and her anklets glittered in the natural light. Wind blew gently from the open window and her silkly hair flew around her face making her a look like a picture to admire.
Suhani felt eyes on her and looked behind her. She saw Yuvraj staring at her in awe and blushed brightly with a shy smile.
Suhani- Why are you just standing like that gawking at me? Am i looking weird?
Yuvraj- No. No way.
Suhani- Then do i look nice?
Yuvraj let himself go over to her and stood behind her, causing her to look round at him. He gently pushed her hair behind her ear and she smiled and looked to the ground.
Yuvraj- nope. Your not looking nice. (Suhani looked up at him with circle eyes of surprise.) You are looking absolutely beautiful Suhani. You dont need make up or extremely detailed tight clothes, Meri Suhani, MERI Suhani jaisa lakti hu aur mei issi tara tumse pasant karti hu. (He pulled her toward him gently and lovingly.) Kabi badal na math, teek kai? Teek kai Suhani?
Suhani- (her grateful smile portrayed everything to Yuvraj, but something still bit at her.) Why would i change Yuvi? Ive always been like this and always will be? Why are you afraid of me changing?
Yuvraj again stammers for a response, remembering and reprimanding his own stupidity.
Yuvraj- You know im a dhar-phok na? I was just telling you i dont ever want you to change.
Suhani smiled at his sweetness but she wasnt satisfyed. She remembered just after the accident before she went in to the shower. She recalled how she had on heavy makeup and an expensive saree when she looked in to the mirror.
Then she saw it in his pocket. It was light brown and leather bound and she remebered it very well. It was Yuvraj’s pocket-size diary. When she found out about it all those years ago she found it hillarious. This sadu guy that to the outside world was rough and tough… was an absolute softie! Back then she laughed relentlessly while Yuvraj stared at her with a frowning face but then she planted a cute kiss on his cheek because she knew really she was extremely lucky to have him, and this sweet sensitive part of him he only showed to her.
She realized that this diary may help her understand what she has forgotten.
With a genuine playful smile Suhani grabbed Yuvraj’s diary and sprints off. Yuvraj chases her with a huge smile as the fun and energy of the old times woke up inside him.
Suhani- You cant catch me Sadu!
Yuvraj- Are you stupid Suhani- of course i can. How long can a fatso like you run for!?
Suhani- Oi! Im not a fatso! Its not my fault you cant catch me because you cant see from behind your huge nose!
The family members all smile at their nok-jokh which has finally livened their home.
Suhani- Hmm let me see then, what you have been writing in here…
Yuvraj blushed slightly.
Yuvraj- no Suhani, please, wapas do na please?
She laughed as she runs backwards, waving the book in the air to tease Yuvraj.
Suhani- Hai! Yuvraj ko sharam agayi… let me too see whats so bad. (Suhani opened the book.She read out loud teasingly.)
“Meri Suhani. Meri jaan. Mine. Only mine. Mine to love, to cherish, and to hold. (She stopped reading aloud. Shocked by what she was reading.) I miss her hugs and smiles and selfless love. Her big round eyes that i drown in everytime. Her silky long hair and stunning innocent smile. The way she showed me the sunshine when i saw only rain, and she showed me the stars when i only saw night. She made me smile when i only felt pain. You are in every action, every word, every thought. Your in everything. Your my everything. Your my sun, my moon, my light in the dark. My peace, my happiness. My pain. (Suhani cried a little with emotion) i want to tell you i miss you and cry in your arms. But those three words are a mockery of how i felt when you left. The way i broke down. (-left- the word echoed in her mind, haunting her.) The way i saw you in everything that surrounded me. The way every night you sung me to sleep with your arms around me but by the morning you had vanished. Leaving me alone. Again. (She felt ditzy with confusion and was hit with images of the past, of her weeping hugging a picture their picture to her chest.)
i cant blame him for loving you. Who wouldnt. Your like the shine of the sun and the splash of the waves, the life in everything. Your smile and big brown eyes are enough to make any man melt to your knees. But i can blame him for wanting you. Because you are mine. And i want you. And i love you. I need you.
I love you. Its funny how these three words are meant to sum up the feeling of love. I can never understand how that little phrase is supposed to fit in so much of my adoration, obsession, concern and possessiveness and desperacy over you. If i could give you one thing, i would let you see yourself through my eyes, then you would realize how i love, need and care for you and how special you are to me. And I dont want to be me, because there is no reason in being me when im not with you. I still love you Suhani, this is breaking me. (She was brought to tears by the love and angst in his words and now was sure she had forgotten about something very bad, she tries to act as if she isn’t suspicious of the past.)
She sniffled back her tears and put on a genuine smile. She gently yanked him by his tie and pushed their foreheads together. They both stared at each other with teary eyes and yearning smiles.
Suhani- Tho yeh sadu ko romantic baat bi kar sakti hu?
Yuvraj- What can i say? Im Yuvraj Birla the great…
Suhani- If its like that then Mrs Suhani Yuvraj Birla is no less (She planted a kiss on his cheek and let go of his tie.)
He touched his cheek where she kissed him with round eyes.
The phone rang loudly breaking them out of their daydream. Yuvraj moved away and picked up the call with a reluctant frown which made Suhani grin.
Yuvraj- yes speaking.—A reason for absence? But she’s at school today—WHAT!? (He dropped the phone and stumbled backwards about to fall in shock. Suhani grabbed him by the shoulders before he could. She picked the phone back up for him.) What do you mean she’s not in class? Are you sure?— (He was yelling in a panicked voice and Suhani also became worried at his state and the call conversation. She held his hand tightly, trying to calm him down.) ONCE SHE IS AT SCHOOL SHE IS YOUR RESONSIBILITY! HOW COULD SHE GO MISSING LIKE THIS!?!?(Both and Yuvraj and Suhani had tears in their eyes.) Please. Don’t let Yuvaan know about this. Okay.
As soon as the phone cut, Yuvraj broke into loud weeps.
Yuvraj- Suh-Suhani… Yuvani. Yuvani’ missing, what do we do?! Yuva-Yu-Yuvani… (he blurted out words of panicking through his sobs, and Suhani weeped too, her heart racing with distress.)
Yuvraj fell in to Suhani’s open arms, wrapping his arms around her waist. He buried his face in to her neck and cried like a child. She tenderly caressed his hair and shut her agonised eyes.
Yuvraj- She was all i had when you were gone Suhani… you were in her, she was a form of you, she was the only thing you left behind. I cant be without my princess,Suhani. (-when i was gone?- Suhani strained her mind to think why she would have left, but she couldnt think straight through the pain of losing her daughter.)
Her heart stung as she felt his tears soak her salwar sleeve.
The family (with Sambhav evidently missing) rush to the room after hearing all the blaring noise, the reach the room and watch tenatively.
Suhani- Yuvraj calm down, we will struggle to find her if you dont stay strong. (She plants a kiss in his hair) suno yuvi, Yuvani got the best father in the world. You and i both know you would never let anything happen to her, just like you’ve never let anything happen to me. We will find her. (She lifted his face and wiped his tears.) Come on. (She squeezed his hand.)
Sharad- Whats happened? (His voice was filled with fright, and bhavana clung to his arm in fear.)
Suhani- PA bhaiya wo.. wo.. Yuvani (she struggled not to start crying again.) shes missing. (The family gasp in shock.) She never arrived at school this morning. Shes missing…
Sharad- lets not waste anymore time come on we have to go search.
Dadi- Ill call the comissioner and ill make sure those school teachers are fired for not taking care of my grandaughter! (Fake dadi pretended to rage but was knowing very well who had done this.)
Suhani dragged the shocked still Yuvraj slightly.
Suhani- Come Yuvraj…
Yuvraj immediately tugged Suhani’s arms back and caused her to fall straight in to his arms. He hugged her tightly and looked slightly angry.
Yuvraj- Tu pagal hai kya?! Where do you think you are going?
Suhani- Why are you wasting time Yuvi, im going to look for Yuvani of course?
Yuvraj- No your not. Your not going anywhere! Someone tried to hurt you Suhani! what if someone tries again?(He held her close and closed his scared eyes. She placed her head on his chest and noticed the insane speed of his heart beat.)
Suhani- We cant live our life in that fear Yuvi, can we? I cant sit here in fear of hurting myself and neglect to search for my missing daughter!
Yuvraj caressed Suhani’s cheek and looked in to her eyes pleadingly.
Yuvraj- please. Im not strong like you Suhani, when it comes to you im a coward. I cant risk you leaving me, i cant risk you getting hurt. I cant risk letting you go anywhere i cant protect you. Please meri jaan, mere liye, stay here. Stay here please, i will find Yuvani and bring her home to her mumma. But what will i tell her and Yuvaan if something happens to you? How will i live if something happens to you?
Suhani- Yuvi… mujhe dekho… Yuvi please, dont be scared. You know me, you know i cant sit here and wait for you. I promise, nothing will happen to me.
Yuvraj lifted her hand and placed it on his head.
Yuvraj- Swear on me nothing will happen to you. If something happens to you, im telling you, i will die- (Suhani immediates places her fingers on his lips silencing him, her eyes watery and round and her brown frowning deeply in shock.)
Suhani- How dare you talk about your death in front of me, how do you think i could handle it Yuvi?
Yuvraj- Im sorry baby… (He rubbed her back consolingly and she shut her eyes and breathed shakily in relief.) We’ll go together.
Sharad- All of us will go. Come on…
They pace around the playground searching for an traces that Yuvani might have left behind, yuvAni try their hardest not to break down as the truth become harder to face and felt more and more real.
Sharad- Guru! Look at this… (He had picked up a piece of fabric of the floor as Yuvraj approached im. He handed over it to Yuvraj.)
It was a piece of green fabric with a giraffe logo on it, Yuvraj squinted… he remembered this from somewhere, he was sure he had seen it before. He slipped it in to
His phone ringed loudy and Suhani jumped in surprise, and sprinted over to him in a fright.Yuvraj nodded at her to try and reassure her and picked up the phone.
//Man- Mr Bira… Are you aching to meet your daughter?//
Yuvraj- YOU HAVE MY DAUGHTER! How dare you do such a thing?!
//Man- Tameez kar baat karo Mr Birla, otherwise-//
Yuvraj-Please, tell me what i can do to get my daughter back?! (Suhani looked up at him with teary eyes, with love and concern in her eyes.).
//Man- Play a game with us…//
Yuvraj- A game!? My daughter’s life is not a game!?
//Man- Fine don’t play, but its either a game or you give us your wife!//
//Man- You have a very s**y wife Mr Birla (Yuvraj shook with rage and hugged Suhani protectively to his side. She felt the shaking and was extremely scared.) and if you aren’t interested in playing the game then we want her. //
Yuvraj- WHAT NONSENSE ARE YOU SAYING! SHE IS MRS SUHANI YUVRAJ BIRA! SHE IS MY WIFE! I WOULD NEVER LET HER NEAR YOU DIRTY MEN! (Suhani frowned, turning tense in fear. Yuvraj buried his chin into her hair and breathed heavily. Having her safe in his arms calmed him.)
//Man- Okay… if you say so. Then?//
Yuvraj- Game. I will play your game.
Precap- Suhani- Yuvi, please.. nahi, nahi. Please…//Yuvraj- I will do it.//Suhani-Yuvraj!//She couldn’t bear to watch him like this, she had to do something right away. It felt as if her eyes were burning and heart was Bleeding. Suhani- Please mister, is there anything i can do?