As he left the room giving me a last gaze, I felt empty, I also love him, I can’t tell him else he will also be blamed with me. I kept looking at the entrance of the room as he left and started crying. I badly wanted to hug him, I wanted to tell him that even I can’t bear his sadness, I too care for him. He came after sometime while I was still crying. I felt his presence and wiped my tears taking a deep breath. I didn’t knew that he knew I was crying. I looked up and saw him looking at me. “I am sorry if I hurt you”, I said apologetically.”No problem I didn’t mind”, he said and smiled at me, I smiled back and went to eat something. I ate little and it was enough.
I went to the room in which I was staying. “Mom told me you eat very little, don’t you eat anything? Do you live by air?”, he asked. “I eat the amount which helps me stay alive”, I replied and he nodded giving a joint eyebrows expression. Later, at evening, no one was there at home. It was almost his time to come back. I was waiting for him and the doorbell rang, I went running to answer the door expecting him but the moment I pulled the door open, there stood my so called grandmother and mother. “Forgive us please?”, they said pleading. No, I won’t let them win this time. “Who are you both? Do I know you?”, I asked.
They exchanged shocked glances at each other and looked at me again. “What are you saying? We are your family members?”, said grandma. “Oh really, you think I must’ve forgotten you both? No ways, the people I hate are in my mind, and coming to the topic of family, then I am an orphan, I don’t want to come back, I just have a little brother that’s it, mumma you yourself threw me out and now pleading me? If a daughter forgives a mother who didn’t believe her daughter but a rapist, what will society say?”, I said shooting angry looks at them. “And you nani, you promised me you won’t go leaving me, but you too went, now what? Go from here.”
I was about to close the door but they pushed it open. “What is it? You don’t want that I live the rest of my life peacefully right? OK then, wait”, I said and went to kitchen and opened a drawer taking out a knife. I went out. “Mumma, nani, please take care of Tunnu and don’t do the thing you did to me, goodbye”, I said sadly and put the knife on my wrist and saw Abeer at the doorstep. “Meher, don’t! Throw that knife away”, he cried.
“I have to do this Abeer, I have to!”, I cried back and slitted my wrist and he came running to me throwing the knife and took me to room. He immediately checked my wrist. “Your vein didn’t got any cut”, he told me while I cried bitterly. “Abeer, you care so much for me as if you have blood relation with me but my blood relatives left me, if you too leave me, where will I go?”, I asked while he cleaned my wound.
“People who want to stay will make an effort no matter what, and till when will you be upset? Forgive them, life without family is horrible, you have a father too, but I don’t, I miss him a lot, I wish he was here and I would’ve been able to hug him, when this word “I wish” comes in our life then it hurts a lot, try, everything will be fine”, he said done with bandaging my hand and all I responded with was hug.
She hugged me and cried vigorously, I hugged her back caressing her hair. It pricked my heart as she cried. I let her cry to let it all out. After sometime she parted away and looked at me. “I want to confess something Abeer”, she said composing herself. “Tell”, I replied. “I love you, can’t wait anymore, I also can’t live without you”, she said. I cupped her cheek and looked at her lovingly, she did the same. “I love you too Meher”, I replied and we shared a hug. This hug was a happy hug, I don’t love her because no one will love her as she’s raped but even if she wasn’t raped, I would’ve loved her the same way.