Life had played such brutal games that even today I’m as broken as I was six years ago. Six years are sometimes enough to spent a life and sometimes it’s just too less!!..
It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. When our thoughts become words, our words become actions, our actions become habits, habits our character and our character personifies our destiny!!.. Man is the maker of his own destiny. I have chosen this life and I’m happy in it.
Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny. I have made attempts to forget my past and move on but nothing as such had happened. The more I try the more does these thoughts come back!!.. He has occupied my mind, my soul like it did six years ago.
My thoughts broke as my princess woke up “Mumma” she called.
“Mumma, sleep no. Or else you will get late for office” she made me lay on the bed and tapped my head, making me sleep. But sleep was faraway. She laid down beside me and slept. I can see my image in her. The same Shona. She is my daughter, only mine!!..
The door crept open and Rahul came in he kissed our foreheads “Swara, done with your acting?”
He knows me so well!!.. I got up with a startle.
“Now sleep Swara. You have to move to Kolkata tomorrow. Are you ready?”
“No. I’m afraid!” I sighed “I have to face them. My past, what I forgot, I have to face them again. Those people. I don’t know but this fear and anxiety is killing me. What if he comes back again? What if he comes back and snatches my child from me? No.. No… I can’t do this” I panicked.
“Swara… Shhh…. Come down. Nothing is going to happen to Riya. She’s my daughter. I have given her my name and he’s going to do nothing. If he does he’s going to face me first rather than you both. Okay??” he is my strength and my friend.
“Now come on sleep” he made me lay down, kissed my temples and went out.
A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation or being together. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends never part. A good friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find lucky to have!!.. And he is the one.
Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. I have achieved, my paths, my accomplishments!!.. But am I happy? Sometimes when I sit alone in the park, even the bright weather seems to be frightening, when I sit in my luxurious room, I do feel alone!!.. As if something is yet to complete me. There is something which is missing. My life is missing!
Six years are like undying sixty years. I’m missing her! I did acknowledge my faults, but today I repent it all. Still in this dark life with my family and friends, I’m alone and solitude. I had yearned for her. I have not broken your heart – you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.
‘To err is man’…
Man makes mistakes but it also demands to be forgiven. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, I hurt people. But when I say sorry I mean it!!.. If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit.
The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part where you realize that, no matter how slowly you go, they will never run after you. Yes! She’ll never walk with me, along with me and beside me!!.. Even after six years, I don’t know where she is and I don’t know where she went. I’m tired tracing her, but sometimes I feel I wasn’t lucky enough to get her. I’m so lonely, I don’t even want to be with myself anymore!!..
The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly. The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It’s the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared and I have no one beside me. I have lost her, the most precious jewel by God for me, Swara….
“Sanskar…” mom called. I sensed her right behind me and I wiped my tears. She shouldn’t feel I’m going through something. She is the only person who matters the most in my life after Swara. I can’t see her breaking or broken.
“You were crying? My baby has been crying? Why?” she was so curious to know. She cared for me so much and when she gets to know what I did, she would never forgive me. I don’t want to hurt anyone but I can’t stop blaming myself after hurting the two most important persons in my life.
“You know son? Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride. Laksh wasn’t even born when your dad left us and I remember you were just three then. But I took care of you both. You took time to get matured but when you took over the business that was so much relief. People spoke so much about me, blamed me for leaving your dad but I didn’t budged. When he decided to marry his secretary and leave me, I was hurt, my blood boiled, my self-esteem and my ego was damaged but I took the decision of divorce only for you both. I am happy, I succeeded. Now, I have only one wish” she smiled “I want my daughter-in-laws and then my grandchildren. I want to see them playing on my lap. After that, I’ll lay down for eternity, happy and contented!!..”
“Mom” I shushed her “Never speak about leaving me” I hugged her. Having something and losing it, it’s so much crueler than never having had it.
“Now tell me what is bothering my son?”
“Mom, you must get awards for changing topics” I sighed.
“I am your biggest fan, I am your protector, I will always defend you, I will get angry, I will get frustrated, I will be proud of you. I will be your confidant, I will love you unconditionally because forever & always I am your Mom!!.. So never lie to me. Now come on tell me, what is it?” I sighed. No one can win over her.
“It’s nothing mom. I’m not sure about this marriage. I don’t want to marry so soon. I mean do you think it’s okay. I mean….”
“Hmm.. So my son is confused? Hmm.. Okay so this is correct and it’s the correct time for marriage. You are 27 and this is the correct time. You are settled now, perfectly fine and the eligible bachelor” she emphasized.
“But I don’t….”
“You promised me Sanskar. You will marry after you get settled in your career”
“Yes mom, I did” I bowed down. I had promised mom and I can’t deny her. I have already lost my love, no one anymore!!..
“Get ready” she kissed my forehead “Tomorrow you are meeting her”
“Mom, what is her name?”
“You didn’t call her?” she sounded shocked.
“Mom, I didn’t get time” a lie.
“Ragini Gadodia” she smiled.
‘Gadodia’ sounds like I have heard the name!!..
So.. So… So… Did you guys guess what is happening???.. Okay so what ever are your guesses pen them down in form of comments! Micz and Arshanaaya get ready to torture me??
First episode consists of so much suspense then think what is going to happen in the further chapters ????
Keep waiting for the next episode till then Bye…. And take care!!..