I was 3 when mom died. Dad married another woman. I tried my best to love her, even I loved her as my mom but she never showed out that love to me!!.. I had two brothers but my bad luck! They never loved me. In short, no one loved me!!.. I was 10 when I was sent to boarding for further studies as mom had refused to let me stay at home. Only I know how much I had cried but no one ever cared!!..I least bothered about mom and bhai but at least dad??.. But no… I was finally send. After studies got completed I got a job in a reputed MNC, where I met Rohan.
Rohan is a smart, handsome and a good friend of mine. I used to share each and everything with him!!.. In short, I got a brother figure. I shared everything with him and he used to support me. One fine day he asked me to accompany him to some club. I agreed as now I had no tension what dad, mom or anyone would say. I was a free bird now!!..
I was talking with my colleagues when I saw ‘HIM’. I kept chatting with my friends with some amount of alcohol and suddenly I felt some gaze!!.. I turned only to find ‘HIM’ again. We started to flirt and we became close. I had seen him once or twice as he used to attend some business parties with my boss. Yeah! He was the owner of Maheshwari MNC!!.. Huff!!..and most properly Rohan’s best friend.
It was lovely time chatting with him. He was quite open not the rough & tough ones. We spent some quality time drinking and he finally offered me a lift! ?
I am glad? At least there was someone who cared for me!!.. We started our journey & in the mid way I kissed his cheeks. I don’t know why I did so.. but I guess I felt like!!.. Not caring about the further consequences, I started giving feathery kisses on his neck. I didn’t know anything about him neither did I bother, I felt like believing him, loving him and I did!!..
Moreover, in a drunken state no one can expect more than that from me. The next moment I realized I was on his lap and he put his lips on mine!!.. It felt divine!!.. His touch made my stomach tight. I loved his touch!!.. I responded to the kiss as well and then we made love!!..
The morning came up, when I opened my eyes I was in some room, at first I panicked. I saw a lavishly but well maintained magnificent room. I saw myself I was dressed..huff!!.. But the memories of yesterday night flashed in my mind. I gazed around the room and that was when I saw a pic. Anyone can make out it was Sanskar’s marriage photo with his ‘WIFE’
My heart sank into pit realizing that!!.. then what was that yesterday night??.. was it just lust??.. Tears rolled down and till then he came out from the washroom with his as usual his ‘KILLER SMILE’. I guessed he panicked seeing my tears. I just aked him about his marriage and he nodded. I asked whom will he choose.
“You” he whispered and kissed me again. He promised me he’ll be by my side always. Don’t know why I wanted to trust him. I know I am wrong because in a way someone would call me a home wrecker. But what to do ‘DIL HAI KI MANTA NAHI’ lol.. cheesy lines!!..
But he gave me the love no one ever gave me!!.. I loved his attention, his care that none gave me ever!!.. I felt blessed!!.. I don’t know how the 2 months passed by in a flow. I left office for him, he didn’t want me doing work, he wanted me to stay home always!!.. the holidays were more memorable!!.. We used to spend the morning in each others arms, loving each other; then the whole day shopping and some time at theatres; then dates and finally in each others arms. Those two months were blissful, I loved the way he loved me in fact, the way he loved me I forgot all my sorrows. It was like all my wounds were healed!!..
I was lost until Swara came back that was one of the worst days. She came and just slapped him. I agree she was correct in her deeds as well!!.. Even I would do the same if ever I was in her place. When you see your husband making out with another women in your bedroom, in your absence. I felt bad as well but I loved him what to do. She abused me as well but I guess I deserved it!!.. Sanskar was numb but still supported me. He slapped her!!.. I felt the most lucky women in the entire world, he supported me, he choose me!!.. he kept his promise. I could sense his guilt, for hurting her but I was happy somewhere. The entire night he didn’t sleep!!.. I tried my best but I failed miserably.
The next morning, I got up only to hear their heated argument. I was so happy after knowing that they are going to divorce soon. I was highly delighted but Sanskar he was lost!!.. But his usual nature came back as usual that evening itself. The next day we went for shopping. It was a treat to myself as I was happy!!.. I asked Sanskar as well but he denied. I didn’t force him as I was in no mood and left alone. It was when I met Rohan, after 2 months. He was shocked after watching me there.
“Kavi! Where were you these long months? I was searching for you. I learned from boss that you even left the job” he really looked worried.
“Arey! Arey! Stop mumbling let me explain!”
After that we went for lunch in a near by restraunt and I explained him.
“That was why I never saw you after that and you are the reason for Sanky being busy? Wow!!.. I mean you changed him dear. But wait what about Swara?” this was what I feared for.
I explained everything about that night as well as how Sanskar supported me.
“But love is different and this is different Kavi! You don’t know how much these two love each other!!..”
“Correction!! Rohan they loved each other and no more! I know how much he loves me”
“Aren’t you happy? You know Sanky loves me so much. None had loved me as such!” and I sobbed.
“Kavi!!.. I know after all I now your past. I’m happy you are happy with him. I can see love in your eyes for him. I hope he loves you too! But as your brother it’s my duty to… ” he said caressing my face.
“But I said na we are happy? Aren’t you happy for me?”
“I am very happy!!” I was relieved.
After that we had our lunch and I left for my house. It has been six months and our love hadn’t decreased. Today Sanskar was behaving weirdly!!.. without having breakfast even he headed for office. Rohan came for some office work and we met. He supposed to be surprised I guess.
“You here?” he enquired.
“Yeah! Why? Where would I have been?” I asked.
“Nah! Nothing well where’s Sanskar?”
“He went for office”
“office? Today? But he never goes office today!” he said astonished.
“Why? Anything special?” I enquired.
“Ha… Wo… It’s his birthday today!!.. But he never goes out today! It’s strange… Ah! Well! People also have changed!!… It was Swara then who used to convince him but now…. ”
“Rohan!!… Do you mean to say he isn’t happy with me?” anger rouse upon me.
“Kavi!! Try and understand. This isn’t love! He doesn’t..” he tried to soothe me.
“Ro…. Leave.. I said leave!!.” and he left.
I had to plan something now. Holy shit!!… Nothing’s ready!!… And it’s already 11 am what should I do??… An idea flashed and I started my work. But Sanskar God knows what’s his problem? He came early today… What shall I do know??… I made myself presentable in that fussy Saree and messy bun. I looked into those eyes they had worry!!.. What was he worrying about??…
We had our dinner at the terrace and then a romantic dance. We were hugging each other while dancing. I saw him hesitating but ignored!!… He’s always confused!!..
“Sanskar, shall I ask you something??” I whispered.
“Hmm.. Baby did I ever say no?” I smiled at his soothing words.
“Tomorrow will you spent the day with me??..” I spoke playing with his shirt buttons.
“No actually I am busy tomorrow!!… Have some important work, I hope you understand!!.. Will go some other day” with that he moved back and broke the hug.
“Baby!!.. But why not tomorrow??.. I know you can take this holiday! Please na! I want to be with you on your birthday!!… Please please!!” I pleaded.
“I said no na? Please Kavita don’t force me!!.. I wont do anything as such, I’m very busy please!!..” this was hurting.
“But Sanskar, hmm… Ok!! I understand after all I’m nothing to you!” and I moved my face aside.
“Kavita!!.. Understand na!!” he turned me so that I could face him. I kept mum and ignored him.
“Baby!! Please! Ok! We will go!!…” I hugged him in happiness. Finally, after so many days we’re going to spent time together.
“Ah! Now sleep. Will have to get ready early tomorrow na? And I have some work let me complete!!..” but I was stubborn as well.
“No…. You aren’t doing anything!!.. We are going to spent sometime together come!!.. Love me!!…” I pulled him onto me but he refrained.
“Kavita!!..please…. I’m really very busy…”
“But baby!!.. I want to love you today, with all my heart and soul… Let’s do it!!..” I requested.
“Baby!! Please not today! I’m busy as well as tired. I just want to sleep but I can’t leave my work also so have to manage!!.. You sleep I’ll join you later” he said tucking the strands of my hair behind my ear.
“Busy or should I say busy with your new girlfriend?? After all this had to happen, a man who has left his wife for me can even leave me for someone else!!” I don’t know why did those words came out of my mouth but I couldn’t control more!!… We have been getting together after such a long time and now he’s refusing!!…
The next moment, I got red marks on my cheeks and it was him!!.. How could he??.. The one for whom you have sacrificed your everything, from your future to everything that person was doing something like this…. It was really heart wrenching but what I did wasn’t less yet!!..
“How could you say that? How could you mistrust me? For you I have left everything, my life, my breath, my soul, my most dearest wife!!.. How could you speak such bullshit??” his anger ragged.
“Whattttt…???… What did you say??… Your life, your wife???… You mean I’m nothing to you??.. Ha??.. I have devoted my entire life to you, then.. then what’s all this?? ….what am I to you??.. Speak up? Who am I to you??..” I shouted holding his collar.
“You are my mistress!!.. Got it??… You are my mistress… Keep that in your stupid brain and don’t you dare shout at me” he spat back clutching my hairs tight!!.. He threw me onto a corner of the terrace and locked me up!!..
Why do I feel, I have done a big mistake??.. But my heart??.. What about that???..how could you do this Sanskar??.. How could you? A relationship of 8 months and you have broken it within seconds??… Was it that easy for you??.. The rain started showering as if crying along with my miseries. I was left alone in that terrace. No one by my side!!!…
Guilt occupied my heart for what I have done with Swara…. This had to happen!!.. I don’t know when I slept off on that wet floor leaning against the wall….