I stood in shock as everyone swarmed around me in happiness, hugging me and talking to me. I felt numb, I couldn’t move or hear anything.
Yuvan came over to me and put his arm around me, enjoying the news of our upcoming engagement. I should be happy, this is what I wanted since I was a little girl. I used to dream of marrying Yuvan, my childhood sweetheart. But times had changed. Sayyam entered my life like a whirlwind, taking me completely by surprise and sweeping me off my feet. The emotions were increasing inside me, I felt suffocated, I wanted to burst out in tears. I tried to hold back my tears to the point where I couldn’t stop them anymore. I ran to the bathroom.
‘Aww, bless her, she’s shy.’ Suhani Aunty said.
I locked the door, slumped onto the floor and burst into tears. I turned on the taps on the sink so that no one would hear my loud cries. I was completely heartbroken. I have never felt so much pain before. When Yuvan rejected me, I never felt like this. This was something else, it was heart wrenching.
There was a knock on the door.
‘Krishna, Krishna! Are you ok sweetheart?’ I heard Ma’s voice. I wanted to hug her, I wanted her to hold me in her arms and tell me everything will be ok.
‘Yes Ma, I’m fine.’ I wiped my tears and got up to open the door. I took a few deep breaths to compose myself. I slowly opened the door, Ma looked at me worried.
‘Krishna, are you ok? Have you been crying?’ She said concerned for me. She placed her hands on my cheeks.
‘No Ma, I’m fine. I’m just happy. They’re just happy tears, this is what I’ve always wanted.’ I said trying to reassure myself. I gave a little smile. I knew how much Ma liked Yuvan and how much she wanted us to be together. She smiled at me, put her arm around my shoulder and took me to the living area. As I sat down with Ma, I saw Sayyam come in to the room. My eyes were fixed on him. I was worried at how he would take the news.
Suhani Aunty hugged Sayyam and told him about the engagement. He smiled and showed that he was really happy. I was confused, this wasn’t the reaction I expected.
He walked over to Yuvan and put his hand out to shake his hand. Yuvan was reluctant to do so at first but he did because the family were there.
‘Congratulations man.’ Sayyam said smiling at Yuvan and hugged him.
Yuvan looked at him with so much hate filled in his eyes but shook his hand sternly and pat him on his back as Sayyam hugged him. I could see Sayyam flinch from the pain of his wounds on his back.
He walked over to me, I kept my eyes locked on him. I was searching for answers.
‘Congratulations Krishna. I’m- I’m really happy for you.’ He said quietly with a small forced smile.
‘Krishna, aren’t you going to say something?’ Ma said as she nudged my arm. My eyes were focused on Sayyam. I could see under the pretense of being happy, deep down he was hurting.
Ma nudged me again to thank him.
‘Thanks.’ I said softly. He turned away, I could see him wipe a little tear from the corner of his eye as he walked away.
‘We will have a small pre-engagement party tomorrow. Just for friends and family. The big engagement party the day after can be for everyone else. What do you think Ma?’ Yuvan said happily.
‘That’s a great idea Yuvan.’ Suhani Aunty said.
‘Sayyam-‘ Yuvan called to stop him while he was walking away.
‘You’re invited.’ He said as the smile on his face turned to a serious expression. He had so much hate filled in his eyes.
Sayyam walked away and Yuvani followed him.
Was all of this Yuvans plan? Why is he inviting Sayyam? I was so confused.
When Ma and I arrived home, I was still in a daze, my body was still numb from shock.
‘Krishna, look at me.’ Ma said as she sat me down on the sofa.
‘Are you happy?’
I looked at her. I wanted to tell her everything but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. It would break her heart. She put her hand on my cheek.
‘You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?’ She said gently. I nodded and gave a little smile.
It was the day of the pre-engagement party. Suhani Aunty wanted Ma and I to get ready at their house today and tomorrow. I sat in Yuvani’s room in front of the mirror at the dressing table lost in my thoughts. I couldn’t get Sayyam out of my mind.
I heard a knock on the door. I looked up at the mirror and saw Yuvan standing at the door with a box. He came up to me.
‘Krish, I have bought you a dress to wear tonight.’ He handed me the box. I opened the box to find a beautiful heavily embroidered red dress.
‘Thank you, it’s beautiful.’ I said.
He smiled and walked away. Yuvani came into the room to help me get ready. She shut the door.
‘Krishna, why are you doing this?’ She said annoyed. I looked at her confused.
‘Why are you getting engaged to Yuvan? You love Sayyam.’ She said. I didn’t respond. She stood in front of me.
‘You know this marriage will not make any of you happy.’ She said sternly.
‘Yuvans happiness means everything to me.’ I said to her.
‘Yuvan won’t be happy. If you’re in love with someone else, how will he be happy? How will he be happy knowing you’re heart belongs to someone else and not him?’
I again didn’t respond. I picked up the jewellery from the dressing table to put on.
‘You know he’s leaving don’t you? Sayyam is leaving tomorrow.’
‘What do you mean?’ I turned to face Yuvani, I was confused.
‘Sayyam is leaving for London tomorrow.’ She said.
My heart sank, how could he just leave? I sat down struggling to stay composed.
‘You didn’t really think he would stay to watch you get engaged to Yuvan, did you?’ She said while she sat down next to me.
‘Look Krishna, if you really love him, you need to stop him from leaving.’ She got up and started to style my hair, tied up in a bun, just the way Yuvan likes it.
I couldnt focus. I couldn’t understand why Sayyam was leaving, I didn’t want him to leave.
Once I had finished getting ready, Yuvani took me downstairs. Everyone had their eyes on me. My eyes searched for Sayyam, I couldn’t see him.
I kept looking around the room and then I saw him. He was sat at a table at the back of the room, watching me come down the stairs. I felt so happy to see him. He looked so handsome in a white shirt and a black suit. As I approached the bottom of the stairs, Yuvan took my hand and introduced me to everyone. He would hold me close and be very touchy with me. I felt like he was parading me around like I was his trophy and I belonged to him. It was as if he was rejoicing that he won and was flaunting his victory in front of Sayyam. He would look at Sayyam and hold me close, purposely trying to aggravate him.
Everyone enjoyed themselves throughout the evening, this was a happy and momentous occasion for them. Yuvan and I danced at the couples dance. I felt so guilty for Sayyam to be watching us. He was sat on his own. I noticed him leave to go outside.
Yuvani called Yuvan over to meet her friends. This was the first time he left my side all evening. I took the opportunity to go to speak to Sayyam. I went out to the front garden searching for him, I found him sat alone.
I walked up to him and tapped him on his shoulder. He turned to look at me. I held his hand. I could feel how lonely and isolated he was.
‘Would you like to dance?’ I said softly.
His face lit up as a smile appeared on his face, the smile that has always drawn me to him. He held my hand, stood up and followed me as I pulled him towards the fountain area.
I stepped closer to him, I put one hand on his shoulder and placed my other hand in his hand. We entwined our fingers together. He placed his hand on my waist and pulled me close. We could hear the music from the house, we slowly swayed to the music.
‘Who gave you this dress? It’s not you.’ He said calmly in his deep, soothing voice.
‘Is it because I’m a plain girl? Or because…Yuvan gave it to me.’ I said hesitantly.
‘Neither.’ He whispered.
‘Do you remember at Golu’s party, you wore the black dress with straps and tiny sequins?’ He said gently. I nodded.
‘That dress, that’s you. It’s simple…elegant… beautiful.’ He said softly, looking deep into my eyes.
I was stunned, my heart skipped a beat.
‘You remember that?’ I said smiling at him. He smiled back. He lifted his hand and took off the clip in my hair. My hair flowed down my back. He tucked a few strands behind my ears. I remembered the time when he said to me before that he prefers me with my hair out.
He twirled me round and pulled me close to him, my back facing him. He gently moved my hair over my shoulder and caressed my arm with his fingers sending a shiver down my spine. His every little touch always sends a tingling sensation through my body. He turned me round to face him and pulled me close. Both his hands were on my waist. His face was close to mine, our noses nearly touching. Our eyes were locked on one another’s, completely lost in each other, dancing under the stars.
For the first time, in a long time, I felt relaxed and at ease. The atmosphere was so calm and serene. I missed this feeling, whenever I am with him, it would feel like we are the only two people in the world, as if nothing else matters. For that moment, I forgot everything that had been happening.
He pulled me closer, our bodies touching. I placed my hands on his chest. He moved his face closer, his cheek resting on my cheek. I closed my eyes, absorbing this magical feeling. He wrapped his arms around me while we slowly danced to the music taking comfort in each other’s arms.
This feeling wasn’t to last long, I could feel eyes on us. We stopped and turned to find Yuvan, Ma and Yuvani watching us.
I felt a knot in my stomach. I knew Yuvan would be fuming seeing us together. He stormed off into the house, with Yuvani and Ma following behind.
I tried to go after Yuvan, when I felt someone grab my hand. I turned back to see Sayyam holding my hand.
‘I’m leaving tomorrow Krishna. I’m going back to London.’ He said. I felt anger build inside me.
‘Why are you leaving Sayyam? Why are you running away?’ I asked sternly.
‘I’m not running away. I have no reason to stay here anymore. If someone could give me a reason to stay, then I won’t go.’
My heart sank. I moved my hand from his and stepped back, unable to make eye contact with him.
‘I can’t- I can’t give you a reason to stay.’ I stuttered nervously.
‘Look at me Krishna. Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me and I will leave. You won’t have to see me ever again.’ He took a step towards me.
I couldn’t do it. Tears started flowing from my eyes. I looked at him but I couldn’t say it. I took a few steps back and ran into the house.
I was stuck in such a complicated situation. Doubts started to creep into my mind. Am I doing the right thing by getting engaged to Yuvan? My head is telling me to be with Yuvan, he is my childhood love, I can’t lose him. Yet my heart is telling me to stop Sayyam from leaving. My attraction to him is growing more and more as the days go by to the point where I’m struggling to control it.
I didn’t want to lose either of them from my life.
Tomorrow is my engagement to Yuvan. I was so confused, I didn’t know what to do. Do I go with my head or with my heart???
Precap- The Final Chapter- what will Krishna do??
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There is just 1 chapter left which I’m hoping to update by the end of the weekend. I hope you all liked the Kriyam dance. I wanted to show them miss each other. They want each other so much. I’m actually feeling a bit sad as the next chapter will be the last. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think.