The end of Us !!
3 February 2016
How long can she be ignorant of my love ?!! It seems like it’s been forever.
I was just in time to see her being transferred from the hospital to the rehabilitation centre. When I got to the hospital, I saw her dad complete the formalities at the reception and her mom was in her ward, packing up all her stuff.
I understood that she had decided to go to the rehab. After everything was done, I went to help her get up from the bed. She did not accept my support. Two male nurses helped her out of bed, on to a wheelchair and into the van that waited outside.
We waited for Ranbir to come, but he never did. I was a bit shocked at first. How could he go against this so carelessly ?!! But we did not wait for long. We knew he would not be coming.
When she was brought to the rehab, I saw a strange look in her eyes. She looked defeated and detached, as if anything that happened around her had ceased to matter. She did not protest to any number of needles piercing her body and any number of medications pushed down her throat.
The only thing she did refuse to do was to talk to anyone. She did not talk at all. Her parents kept trying to make her speak, but she did not utter a single word. I had decided to not give up that easily. I would keep trying and keep hoping she would reciprocate. Maybe she was just weak.
I went to see her again today. She was in a much better condition. She was talking properly to everyone and looked at peace. Seeing her like that gave me some kind of relief.
In the week that she had spent there, there was considerable progress. No one who would look at her from a distance would ever be able to guess that she was a patient and there was anything wrong with her.
She looked normal. It made me happy.
She seemed kind of happy too, until she saw me. After that, her attitude changed. It was as if she would have run away from me physically had she been capable of doing so. She looked disturbed on seeing me.
I took the doctors permission to see her. But as soon as I got close, the nurses came and stopped me from getting in. The patient did not want to see me, they said. They had been given clear instructions. I have no idea why she did that, but all I know is that it hurt.
Still, I did not force her. I honoured her wishes and stayed out of her range. I just saw her from a distance, like before, and made sure she had everything she needed. She seemed okay. She looked way better than she had looked some time back. I was happy with her progressing health. I did not ask for too much.
I just wish I could see her tomorrow
7 February 2016
Did I lose her forever ?!! Just the thought is enough to stop my heart from beating. But I won’t let that happen. I have to be there. She might need me.
This time, when no one could find her, a part of me said that we would not find her alive. She had been recovering beautifully ever since she got shifted to the rehab, but suddenly, one day she refuses to see me, and the next day she disappears ?!! Where did she go ?!!
This is a high-security rehabilitation centre. The security is almost as strict as that of a jail. It is impossible to even think of the possibility of an escape. And why would she go anyway ?!! What was she not getting here ?!! Wasn’t everything happening just the way she wanted ?!! And she had seemed happy with the progress.
I didn’t know where she was. And I didn’t know what to make of it. Had she given into the craving ?!! I didn’t know where to search for her, but somehow, I just knew that I did not need to worry too much. I knew it in my heart that she would come back.
Or else we would find her dead, somewhere in the campus. There was nothing I could do. I was helpless and powerless.
But she came back. Within twenty-four hours of disappearing. When asked, she told them she was with Ranbir. He had come to take her away from the rehab. And she ran away with him. But she did not have eloping with him on her mind. She went because she had thought she would be able to change Ranbir’s mind and convince him to come to rehab too. He did not agree and she had to come back. Alone.
When I heard about this, I smiled in relief. I knew that the bad times were over. She is okay now. Sane, sweet and caring, like she had always been.
I was touched by the way she still wanted to try and get Ranbir’s life back on track, even after what he did to her.
I had almost lost her. Twice. Once to Ranbir. Once to drugs and alcohol.
But now, I am sure I have her back.
But while I had started seeing us together again, she had different plans.
Anushka’s mom gave me a letter today that Anushka wanted me to have. As I read it, I knew it was the end of the road for us. Anushka has decided my fate and it’s on that piece of paper.
It’s a small message and it has wrecked my life. I don’t know what to do now. I am defeated. I am lost. I look at the paper in one hand and my ticket back to my city in the other.
The internship ends tomorrow and with it ends us — Anushka and I.
I know it won’t happen.
But I wish I could see her tomorrow.
Precap : A shocking Surprise.
Ohkay even though I said that this would be the last note. I was wrong. There’s one more with Anushka’s letter. That would be the last one.
Also I have decided that after this FF ends, before starting a new one I would be writing “The heart that beats for you.” as many of you had asked me to complete it. So that’s the next story I am working on.
Do comment. Keep smiling. Keep watching Yrkkh !!