Ishwari was standing on the edge of the terrace with a bottle in her hand & was yelling at the top of her voice…
Suicide Suicide Gaon Walon Suicide
Bijoy: Ishu come down
Khatri: Aye! English Medium chup ho ke baith bilkul … Ishwari tu neeche aa (Shut up & Ishwari come down)
Ishwari: Neeche kaise aaun? (How?)
Khatri: Kud jaa chatt se (Jump from there)
Bijoy: Are mar jaayegi wo (She’ll die)
Khatri: Mar jaaye … Pura fandom mujhe dua dega (Let her die … all the KRPKAB fans will bless me)
Bijoy: Ishu … Ishu … wahi ruko mai aa raha hu (Stay there Ishu I’ll come)
Ishwari: CHUP CHUSE HUYE ORANGE KE BEEJ … ye kya Ishu Ishu laga rakha hai (What is this Ishu Ishu?)
Bijoy: Pehle to mera Ishu bolna tumhe bura nahi lagta tha (Earlier you never minded me calling you Ishu)
Ishwari: Arey Ullu … wo to isiliye sehti thi taaki tujhe use karke mai apni jaan Khatri ke paaas wapas aa jaun… Are o khatri sun na (Idiot, I did that bcoz I had to reconcile with Khatri using you as a ladder)
Khatri: Bewdi aurat (Drunkyard)
Ishwari: Aurat nahi MAA … Mai hu kaun Mai hu kaun? ( I am not a woman… I’m …)
Ishwari: Nahi re ! Mai hu Mai hu Mai hu Maa… Arey Khatri mai kehti hu gaa re (No… I’m maa … Khatri Sing)
Khatri: Kya re? (What?)
Ishwari (sings): Jaanu Mere Jaan … Mai tere qurbaan … Mai teri tu mera jaane saara hindustaan
Khatri: Saara Hindustan? Haa sab to jaante hai sivay Mamta ma’am ke tabhi to meri re-entry nahi ho rahi
Bijoy: Ishu …tumne mujhe use kia? ( You’ve used me Ishwari)
Ishwari: Haa re buddhe… (Yes)
Bijoy (sings): dil aisa kisi ne mera toda barbadi ki taraf aisa moda … Mujh bhale maanus ko amanus bana ke choda
Khatri: Eh Tape recorder … chup (Shut up you tape recorder)
Ishwari: Mai neeche kaise aaun? (How do I come down?)
Khatri: Kood jaa (Jump)
Ishwari jumps & falls flat on her face
Bijoy: Ye kya kia? Are you mad?
Khatri: Mar gayi kya? (Is she dead?)
No response came from Ishwari’s side. There was dead silence … the only noise was coming from the wind passing by
Khatri starts dancing.
Bijoy: Mar gayi ? (Is she dead)
Ishwari: Mai bahut dheeth itne jaldi nahi marne wali (No I’m stubborn won’t die so easily)
Khatri: Sun … isko utha kar bed pe sula dete hai (Let’s put her back to bed)
Both Khatri & Bijoy lifted Ishwari & somehow managed to put her on her bed. Ishwari slept peacefully.
Khatri: Kyu laya tu isse yahan (Why did you bring her here?)
Bijoy: Ye mujhe yahan layi thi (She brought me)
Khatri: Badi mushkil se peecha chudaya tha fir gale pad gayi (I had got rid of her with great difficulty … Now she’s back again)
Bijoy: Lucky ho tum ki ye tumse pyaar karti hai … (You’re lucky that she loves you)
Khatri: Khak lucky hu … iski issi bewdepan ki wajah se humara divorce hua tha… (I’m not lucky … because of her habit of drinking we had to get divorced)
FLASHBACK: On a windy night when the clouds seemed as if they would burst anytime a truck stopped in front of Dixit Mansion… The truck had broken down … A girl … sorry sorry a maa … of about 20 years came out of the house & offered help to the driver. The girl was Ishwari & the man was Khatri… She offered help he took it … Since that day Ishwari & Khatri fell in love but Ishwari’s father was against this alliance so the two eloped. Everything was fine in the beginning. Ishwari used to feed halwa to her husband who ate it with a lot of love but Ishwari’s halwa mania increased day by day … she tried new varieties of halwa … mint halwa,mushroom halwa , karela halwa & Khatri became her guinea pig. Tired of all this Khatri didn’t used to return home for several nights & Ishwari had only whisky, scotch & beer left to her … In her hangover one day she used to become Dharmendra of Sholay & the other day she became Rakesh Khanna of Jay Jay Shiv Shankar … Her madness led to their divorce
Bijoy: Ye to puri pagal hai … mujhe bhi alag alag type ke halwe khilana chahti thi … (She’s mad)
Hearing the word Halwa Ishwari woke up. Her hair covered her face. She picked up a candle … & walked towards the two of them. She held Bijoy by his collar & asked, “Halwa khayega?” (Will you eat halwa?)
Bijoy: Ha Ha khaunga … mujhe mat marna (I will I will … just don’t kill me)
Ishwari took out a big black kadhai & started preparing karela-corn halwa with special chilli flavor. Khatri & Bijoy had to engulf the whole.
Khatri: Sun chuse huye beej … (Listen you idiot)
Bijoy: Naam tameez se lo mera (Take my name properly)
Khatri: Ye aafat tu leke aaya hai … Ab isse tu hi bhagayega warna mai tujhe jaane nahi dunga …
Tera to hoke rahega (You’ll have to help me get rid of her otherwise…… )
Khatri: Mai kar ke rahunga (I’ll destroy you)
Hope everyone laughed with me & not at me!
This was a superfast update so I want superfast comments
Silent readers & vocal readers COMMENT otherwise I’ll courier this version of Ishwari to all of you. ENJOY!
For the previous part I’ll reply to everyone later.
Any suggestions how to save Khatri & Bijoy from Ishwari ? Do let me know
OH DEAR ALMIGHTY TU ! I KNOW THE MAJOR PART OF THE ARTICLE IS IN HINDI BUT I’VE TRANSLATED IT SIDE BY SIDE PLEASE DON’T REJECT THE ARTICLE