…My Brothers Are Everything To Me…
For some it’s a symbol to express love..
For some it’s a drawing…
For some it’s nuisance and bad…
For some it’s a beautiful art on your skin…
But to Om…
Tattoos are to hide his pain…
There’s a tattoo in his hands, just below the palm..
Most people rarely notes the tattoo in his hand and even more rare of them to notice the very thin scars on his wrist..
As Om gazed at the scars concealed by the tattoo on his left arm, sitting in front of the painting he was drawing on…
Memories rushed to his mind, reminding the past he had gone through, the pain he had endured through..
The pain he put his brothers through…
The pain which always in the back of his mind as a reminder of what a useless brother he had been to Rudra, what a troublesome burden he was to Shivaay.. Om never ever wanted to be like that ever again…
~~~~~Om’s hands trembled often and it get to him like nothing ever did.
It had been like hell after getting detoxified in rehab, as if his mind was cleared and it made him see what the hell he had been doing..
It was worse, not relying on the drugs, after that the intake process and activities began. Om gritted his teeth and endured it because he never ever want to disappoint his family..
In rehab center, they occasionally allowed mails and phone calls.. Their words encouraged him, more than that even though Shivaay tried to hide, Om noticed the shaky quality of Shivaay’s voice every time..
Then he had left the rehab after getting advises from the professional that he’s not fully healed and he has to be patient since it’s a slow process but that he will be fine overall..
Om had experienced symptoms of sudden mood change and extreme body pain, side affects of using drugs during the rehab but then it gradually decreased. They did warn him there will be minor side affects too in future but he never expected it to be hit by wave of nausea..
(A/N: The symptoms of drug abuse are: Sleeplessness, drowsiness, body pain, sudden changes of mood, irritation, nausea, even lead to heart failure and Drug abuse is a punishable crime without bail. So never ever go near them and help people addicted join a rehab.. Prevention is better than cure so if there are any depressed people near you, just listen to them and offer a helping hand..)
Om just was lying in his room, not wanting to sleep with his brothers since he knew he’s not feeling well for some days..
Om threw the blanket away and rushed towards the basin and emptied what his brother Shivaay had cooked from his stomach..
Om will be loosing weight if the nausea continued..
A hand pushed the long hair away from his face and tied it up in a knot and held his forehead, helping him..
Even without turning Om could say who’s hands they were..
His another hand rubbed Om’s back in comfort.
Things even his mother will hesitate to do..
It’s been a week since the nausea started and every time, each and every time Shivaay held him, helped him to puke like a mother would do..
Not a trace of disgust in Shivaay’s face, not even once..
Om’s heart throbbed seeing the love Shivaay held for him and it made him regret it even more for using the drugs.
After that Shivaay helped him clean up and made him drink a glass of water with lemon to help him ease the stomach..
Even though Shivaay spent a lot of time, thinking what to give him so that Om won’t be nauseous, Om still emptied everything.
Even after Om had returned from rehab, Shivaay had taken leave from his work and spent the entire time looking after him, when Om felt drowsy, Shivaay was there to catch him, when Om’s hands trembled Shivaay’s hand held them, when Om was puking, Shivaay helped him. Om’s entire meal from what he drinks after waking up till the dinner was made by Shivaay.
Now too, Shivaay helped him get to bed and released the knot of his hair and caressed them tenderly..
“You should sleep in my room Om”
“No Shivaay.. You know Rudy is there.. He thinks I am all healed up and I don’t want to set a bad example for him”
Om didn’t know how even in midnight Shivaay knows he’s awake and in need of help.
As minutes slowly passed, he slept knowing Shivaay watched over him..
After some days, nervousness and panic attacks replaced nausea making him feel even worse..
It was just after his first art show.. He had thrown something at Shivaay, making him bleed..
The person who had held him, the person who helped him, the person who never left him even when he dwelled into darkness, he had made that person to bleed..
Guilt ate him from inside and the words from Pinky Aunty just few minutes before,
“I don’t know what Shivaay is doing Sakthi ji.. He has a wound on his forehead, he thinks I don’t know who did it.. To see my son like this, like a servant doing ever whim of Omkara.. Shivaay doesn’t go to work properly nor is he eating or sleeping, always looking after Omkara. I agree, you have to help your relatives but to this extent.. First Omkara himself went to darkness and now he’s dragging Shivaay too.. I don’t know what to do..”
Those words were a stab to his heart and hit right on the mark, increasing the guilt.
After that he put on a fake smile and convinced Shivaay along with everyone that he’s fine, convincing Shivaay to work properly and allowed the weakness only in his room.
It’s the least he can do for his brother Shivaay…
Om knew Shivaay had told him to rely on him and don’t behave like this. His brother even said he’s proud of Om and not to hide things again..
But he has to hide his health issues….
No… That doesn’t mean he’s turning to drugs.. He’s gonna be strong by himself. Om will endure everything and be not a useless burden for his brothers..
Rudy doesn’t know anything..
And Om wants to keep it this way..
After all on that day Rudra had held an injection and said, “It must be good Om for which you have abandoned us..”
No… Rudy shouldn’t know anything and his parents are already stressed enough..
So at night…
It became difficult…
Sleeplessness gets him and makes him feel worse.
The urge to see Shivaay… The urge to be enclosed by those warm, helping hands.
So Om brought a wire and tied his left hand to the bed post and endured through the panic attacks, nervous attacks in his room after locking it…
Even though, Om’s hand has started bruising but Om couldn’t stop..
If he freed himself, his body automatically will seek in weakness..
But soon he will have the memory of blood trailing down Shivaay’s cheeks, his azure eyes didn’t look away from Om even while he was hurt.
Om felt guilty more than ever for using drugs and muffled his cries that wants to leave his mouth.
It’s his punishment..
He must endure…
Suddenly his door was knocked but Om couldn’t go.. He cannot.. They may leave thinking he’s asleep..
But soon his door was opened somehow…
“Om… What have you done to yourself?”
Shivaay rushed towards him and freed the wire holding him captive in bed..
“How many times I told you to not hide like this Om?”
Om felt numb that Shivaay had seen his secret and he didn’t want to worry him more..
“Its nothing Shivaay..”
“Don’t lie Om.. Look at me.. Look at me Om”
Om looked up to see tears trailing Shivaay’s cheeks while his eyes express such pain as if he’s the one going through all this..
It struck Om’s heart like lightning..
This is why he didn’t want to let Shivaay know anything about this.
Shivaay hugged Om and Om rested his head against Shivaay’s heart listening to it’s rhythm.
“You don’t know Om how glad I am every day to Hod or Universe or whatever deity out there that you don’t have extreme symptoms of drug use.. Like heart failure.. You don’t know how happy I am that you’re safe and alive.. Look at your hand.. It’s bleeding.. Why do you endure everything alone Om? Why do you do this?”
Om hugged his brother back..
He’s tired… He’s tired of faking his health and tired of avoiding his brothers.
“I don’t want to be a burden in your life Shivaay”
“Don’t be stupid Om”
“No Shivaay.. My life and everything, I had put myself into darkness.. I don’t want to drag you into this.”
“What are you blabbering about Om? If I has to stay in darkness as long as to rescue my brother.. So be it.. Do you know how my life was before you born.. Even as a child, it felt empty and meaningless… The first happiness.. The first color in my life.. The first ray of hope in my life was when you were put in my small hands by grandfather. That moment everything was so colorful and life had a new meaning Om..”
Om sniffed and let Shivaay pull away from him.. He let Shivaay drag him to his room and made him lie in the centre between Shivaay and Rudra who was sleeping soundly in a ridiculous pose which made him chuckle immediately.
Shivaay pulled the blanket over him after cleaning the wound on his hand and caressed his head and said,
“Everyone has their own pace and live according to that Om.. No one’s rushing you to anything and you’re never a burden so please stop doing things like this.”
Om relaxed and soon after fallen asleep with one hand of Rudra over him and Shivaay silently sleeping next to him~~~~~
After that Om had gotten a tattoo to hide the thin scars especially the inner side of wrist.
Hiding the scars, turning into a beautiful art…
“O… Om… Omkara Singh Oberoi…”
Lost in his thoughts, Om didn’t notice Rudra calling him so he was surprised to find something wet on his cheeks only to find Rudra had painted his cheeks with brush..
Om grabbed the paint near him and chased Rudra who looked like he regretted doing that to Om..
“Your Shivaay bhaiyaa is not home Rudy.. You’re dead”
“Ah… Someone.. Anyone save me.. Om is trying to drown me with his evil paints..”
Even while running, Rudra was as dramatic as ever..
Annika walked back to the Oberoi Mansion more like ran away as soon as he parked the car..
Nope… It’s not good for her heart..
It’s definitely not good for her heart..
It looked like those azure eyes won’t leave her alone till her heart burst with the rate it’s beating..
His hands were caressing whether by accident or intentionally she didn’t know ever since they started shopping for the things required for Sangeet decorations.
He was sometimes looming over her, sometimes caressing her, sometimes whispering in her ear, sometimes grabbing her as if saving her from something that really wasn’t there..
If she asked to move away…
All she got was..
“You don’t care right? So does it affect you..”
When she stubbornly answered No, he’s not affecting her in any way.. The caressing and his touches increased more than before.
It took hours shopping with all these things he had been doing when it should have been only few minutes..
Just after she was gonna get out of the car, he pretended to help her remove the seat belt and in that time asked her as if he didn’t know anything about it,
“What’s on your neck Annika?”
Annika stuttered out and his bold fingers were on her neck.
“Let me take a look..”
With that he leaned very closely and his fingers traced his teeth mark, making her shudder..
Then he looked straight into her eye and said,
“It doesn’t seem to be a bug bite.. More like someone slowly bit your neck, wanting to leave behind a physical evidence and then slowly trailed their tongue along….”
Annika didn’t hear the rest and got out of the car, moving back to Mansion..
She could hear his footsteps near her so she ran further and stopped to look behind since it has became silent..
“Shivaay bhaiyaa.. Save me”
Om was surprised by sudden arrival of Shivaay and poured the paint on him instead of Rudra who hid behind his Shivaay bhaiyaa.
“Shivaay.. It’s.. I… I didn’t mean to..”
Shivaay moved closer and pulled the paint mug which had some paint left from Om’s hands and looked dead serious..
Om retreated a few steps back and started running while Rudra and Shivaay chased after him all around the Mansion..
Annika watched with a smile…
They’re like a bunch of children…
Get to work…
Be still heart…
Don’t beat for a man who is already engaged and his Sangeet is tomorrow..
(A/N: How are you all..? Hope you’re all good and fine.
I really do appreciate the comments you all leave and it’s what keeps me writing.. So do share your thoughts with me..
Anyway I wanted to tell you that I have a very important exam in February and the updates may get delayed. I hope you all understand..
See you all with next update.. Take care)