INNOCENCE (Part 1)
Hey guys..i tried out something different this time..this is not my first ff though but its my first attempt on real life stories…this story is narrated by the character called Ritika…so here u go..
What?? I got up hurriedly from my deep sleep..did I really see that..how is it possible..In my 17 years of short life this was the best and yet the worst dream…best coz its something which my heart desired and worst cozz……………………………………………………………
I went to my wash basin and sprinkled water on my face..I looked at myself..is this the same me?? An inner voice asked..confused I went back to my bed. I took out a small diary and turned few pages..within seconds i landed to that amazing world of childhood memories.
It all started when i was just 12 in sixth standard. I was dragged to an unknown atmosphere where all the faces seemed new to me. It was at that time she came to me..and put forward a hand of friendship. Nothing could relieve me more. Purva the miracle of my life!!
Life in her influence became so interesting..we chatted almost for the whole day..shared our lunch and of course our secrets. It was just perfect…my incomplete life was now complete. But…there is always a but when we start living happily. My life took another turn when “he” entered. He was just a known face to me and nothing more. Gradually we became friends and before i realise he had become my life. How?? Well it goes like this..
16th January 2012,Monday …
It was during the history class that my place was changed. I don’t know why but i hated my new place and hated the surrounding..specially that creep who sat just beside me. In such awkward condition what i heard was surprising!! “Guys from today onwards no pranks..after all good girls deserve a good environment!!” said a firm voice. I looked back. He was seated just behind me. Something told me that he is different. And i realised it over the days. Friendship between us was strong by then. I had actually started liking his company and may be him. He was so different. I even forgot my bestie purva!!
For few days it was all the same until he proposed me! No, not in reality , but in a stupid game of truth and dare. When i came back from school i realised that my heart has already started beating for him. The moment he said I LOVE U …. i was just feeling out of the world. Although i knew it was just a game yet my heart felt a pleasure..his voice echoed in my years like nectar. I had butterflies in my stomach. Possibly it was the best feeling i had experienced by then.
I closed my diary. A smile had come to my face while recollecting these memories. A took a deep breath and took the next one out. This one is very precious to me. It contained the exact details of my love life. I opened it.
7th march 2012,,
We had a fight. How can he be so insensitive?? I mean what was my fault…i just informed what i saw….!! a group of boys were bunking classes after recess, i saw them and informed our class teacher. Few of them were actually helping the staff in cleaning. This fact was unknown to me. When the teacher punished all the boys..he came in front and defend his fellow friends who were with him while cleaning. A staff member assured that they were really helpful. Our teacher released them but he was angry.. “who the hell dare to complain against us?? Who is that idiot who can’t see who is doing what??” i could understand the degree of his anger. My friend signed me to keep quiet who was also with me while complaining. But an inner guilt horrified me. I didn’t wanna betray him. So i told him everything. He was furious and uttered an infinite deal of rubbish in front of me. I tried to tell him sorry but i failed. Every time he showed an insensitive side of his character which i had never seen. I was really hurt with his words. I wished i had not done the stupidity. After coming back from school i cried bitterly knowing a little what would follow the next day.
I arrived to school late..Thankfully the teacher didn’t punish me. I took my place. The day was normal until the time i realised that he actually wanted to talk to me..but was hesitating. So i decided to make things a bit easier for him. I turned back and asked directly.. “ did u say something to me??” probably he was not ready for the sudden question…so he began to stammer… “ m…mm..me?? n..n..no..no i never said anything..!!” “oh..i thought u were..anyways..never mind…” i had just turned around when “ aahh ritika..listen…….” did he just call my name?? I wondered…
“ritika m…m sorry” i turned towards him ..i was literally shocked.
Me: what did u just say…
He: m sorry …
Me: sorry?? For what?
He: i behaved so rudely wid u yesterday…
Me: but it was my fault…..
He: actually i was very angry so donno what rubbish i told..plzz forgive me yaar..
I had a smile on my face.. “its ohk..”
He: so friends??
When i said that word i really meant it…i always wanted to stay his friend.
This fight between us had actually a improved our friendship..we were more close nd the bond was unbreakable. In such situation arrived our summer vacation. This vacation seemed to be separating us forever…but why would it.. I mean it was just a vacation right?? May be i had become too possessive about him.
I could hardly do anything in the vacation except thinking about him. It was as though i breathed less but thought more about him. I couldn’t study but just opened the book and pretend to do the same. I questioned the utility of granting a month’s holiday which i used to love so much. M i becoming desperate…..?? To my great relief the school reopened. I was so eager to meet him. I greeted all my friends. But he seemed to ignore my words. I got a little tensed. This continues for few days. So one day i decided to talk to him.
Me: what has happened??
He: nothing..what would happen?
Me: oo i thought u are ignoring me…is everything alright between us??
He: yeah..i was just concerned about the exams..
Me: oh..don’t worry we will do well…(o what m i saying?) i mean u will do well nd i shall also try..
He gave a nod indicating “yeah”
Again my life seemed to be perfect. I was in love with a perfect guy.but destiny had planned something else.
Should i propose him?? Ummmm …not really..I blushed…
“oho..blushing and all..” said someone from the back. I turned back to see Purva ..!!
Me: omg u..
P: where are u all these days…?? forgot ur bestie ha?
Me: nothing like that purva….
P: achha..leave all this…i wanna tell something to u..
Me: yeah say..
P: ankita told me that someone’s gonna propose me today….
Me: who?? Nd did he proposed??
P: no..he will
Me: i donno purva plzz tell……..
The recess ending bell was heard..
P: honey come to class..come fast..
I dragged my self to the class room . a crowd had gathered. Pushing the people i moved in front. I saw purva standing and on his knees with a chocolate in hand was a guy…i could hardly see his face. After trying a lot i gave up. I turned around to go to my seat when i heard…” I LOVE YOU”
I stopped. My breath ceased. I rushed to that place to find purva telling “yes” to ARAV..Yes my Arav..the one i loved. After that what exactly happened was hard to recollect. I stood there as a statue until someone shook me. It was Purva. She hugged me. She seemed to be very happy..i congratulated her.
P: Ritika …babes u have to help me..i told him yes but i hardly know anything about him…u knw him well plzz give me some suggestions.
Me: excuse me…
I ran away … i couldn’t face her.
My entire world seemed to drown. My hope, my desires, my priorities seemed to sink in the vast ocean. And I could do nothing except increasing the volume of water in the ocean. When I reached home that day…i was completely shattered. It was as though a ship has returned from its voyage…with “over weathered ribs” … I cursed him and the whole world for the injustice.
I looked at the clock…it was 3:15 am…my eyes were moist. The story of my childhood seemed to melt me completely. But I was strong ..both now as well as then. I continued reading….
Quite a few days have passed since arav and purva are together. I thought of many things..many envious plans but couldn’t really do anything. I surrendered my love. I was happy as i didn’t go against my friendship. I couldn’t really be so ungrateful….its not in my blood. Arav seemed quite happy these days. May be I had never loved him the way purva does. Today they gave us treat for completing a week’s anniversary. Stupid!! I felt….but then i thought its their wish.
Me and arav don’t talk much these days..we are more like strangers. He is always wid purva. Time cures all wounds but my one seems little difficult. Sometimes i wonder m a so stupid to love someone who never understood my feelings?? Life plays such nonsensical games sometimes i find it hard to control my temperament.
I took my bottle and drank water. I wished i could change few things of past….
(Many of u would be thinking what is special about this story….Childhood crushes and heart break….Most of us have faced this situation….We learnt from our experiences….but as i said life sometimes plays such filthy games that we haven’t thought of…so is in this case….ritika came out of all this….she focused on her studies and was happy but…………..)
2 years have passed..since Arav and Purva are together. Now everything is normal between me and him. We are again friends and share a good bonding. Purva knows about my past. Yeah I had only told her. She was angry wid me for few days but now she is proud that she has a friend like me, who sacrificed her love. Everything was going well until that day came…………
7th February ,2014
I was chatting with arav in my fb account. He was bragging about purva that how much she loves him…etc.
Me: yeah i knw… when someone is in love he/she feels no one can love them more than their parner…
A: y?? Who loves me more than purva??
Me: ( i realised i shouldn’t have said that) no one…i just said like that..
A: no..tell me.
I had no option so i logged out.
Again i logged in…
Me: m sorry..had some work..
A: its okay..now tell me something…
A: you liked me in class 6 right??
I was shocked… i read the msg once again.
A:??….neva mind i knw that..
Me: u never said that…
A: frankly speaking …..i also liked u..
Another shock!! O god whats happening??
Me: oh..i never knew coz u never mentioned..
A: i thought u hate me…
Me: what? Are u serious?? How can i hate u..i had always lo………………
Me: sorry i mean..
A: its okay..my fault..i wished i had known …
Tears welled down my cheeks…y ?? y me every time?? M fed up with all these… i had recovered from that with so much of difficulty yet…
M: m happy for both of u..m happy that i chose my friendship..
A: u r really a nice person ritika… i hope u get a better person than me..
I logged out.
I couldn’t control my tears. I jumped into mu bed and cried bitterly. Why do life plays such painful games…i couldn’t sleep that night thinking..i wish i had the courage to tell him how much i loved him..life would have been different.
My clock stuck 4..i took a deep breath..i am relaxed now. My past doesn’t bother to me now. That dream seemed just an imagination which can never come true. Arav is best as my friend…and i love him for that. I decided to take a short nap before my mom could call me..bt i could hardly sleep..memories of past kept me awake till i had to get up for my school.
On my way to school i saw arav and purva chatting…purva smiled at me..i waved them….looking back again i saw arav’s face …he is always happy whenever he is with purva. I smiled.
Lucky are the people who get their love …..but luckiest are those who get friends like ARAV!! May god bless them…………………………………!!
So here it ends…of course life doesn’t ends but the chapter of innocence ends..i hope u all liked it…..plzz share ur view via comments…