Mother is not just another person or relation.
It’s your emotion of peace. It’s your emotion for the soul when nobody stands by it.
Ragvi wiped that tear again and pressed her lips against each other. The curtain flapped but she did not blink her eyes. But nothing really helped.
She felt a hand on her shoulder and closed her eyes recognizing the touch. “No… Don’t ask me to move on please” she said painfully. “I will never ask you to do so” Sumi’s voice broke her and Ragvi turned to hug her mother.
She burst into a bitter cry. “I know she means a lot. But she… I….” she struggled to form the words. Sumi rubbed her daughter’s back. “For me. All my kids are equally mean my world” she said and smiled cupping Ragvi’s cheek.
Ragvi walked to her bed along with her mother and placed her head in her mother’s lap. The best place in the world to relieve and re-live.
Sumi caressed Ragvi’s hair lovingly. And they remained silent for a long time.
“You know mom” Ragvi broke the silence. “I was so happy away thinking Dee is all happy with her life and she has everything she ever wished for. I don’t know. It was what I always wished for her” Ragvi spoke painfully.
“Except for that painful untimely death” she tightened her hold suppressing the emotions. Sumi looked at her daughter and gave a painful smile.
“She actually had everything she ever wished for” Sumi’s eyes developed tears. “A loving husband and a sweet family and a cute baby. Her life was complete except for one complain” Sumi wiped that tear which left her eye.
“The day she saw Vikram broken on your marriage day she was half dead. Because she did not knew what happened to her happy family suddenly. She used to remember you and cry. Like she lost her soul. And when Ansh was born she got her new life really. She wanted to live for her son. Who was part of her soul” Sumi smiled.
“You know when you wish badly for something God really acts crazy. He snatches the same thing” she said pain increasing in her heart.
“And he snatched that life from her. And trust me she did not wanted to go away. Never at least leaving Ansh in that state. He needed her. He really needed her” Sumi bent her head.
“I always used to ask God the question how snatching a six month old kid’s mother can be part of his destiny. How can he turn so cruel and blind that he can ignore those baby’s cries” Sumi folded her lips looking up.
“I…” she swallowed the sour lump. “I don’t know how it feels not to have a mother. I don’t think any one of us even knows it. Because we can’t even imagine our life without our mothers. But Ansh has to really go through that even before he even started recognizing his mother. Even before he could ever call her that divine word “MAA”. He never really got a chance. I was so mad at God for doing so” Sumi said and Ragvi got up to wipe her mother’s tears.
“But Ragini changed it. She really did. Can I even give that love to Ansh myself? No I cannot love him like Ragini does. I cannot. Nobody can” she nodded her head and Ragvi watched her helplessly.
“Because the first time Ansh called Maa was to Ragini. Not even to Kumud you know that?” she smiled through her tears.
“I saw the same glitter you all have for me. For Ragini. Just remember those days when I used to go out of station for some work and you had to stay without me. And when I used to return that feelings you had?” Sumi asked Ragvi who gave her a smile nodding her head.
“Ansh had the same happiness when Ragini came into his life” Sumi said closing her eyes.
“I know you cannot forgive her for causing the accident. But think it this way” Sumi wiped her tears. “What if Kumud wanted someone who loved her baby more than her?” Ragvi looked into her mother’s eyes.
“Don’t you feel even Kumud wouldn’t have loved Ansh the way Ragini does?” Sumi asked and Ragvi stared blankly.
She remembered that huge smile on Ragini’s face which reflected her heart whenever she saw Ansh and that warm embrace of hers and that slight tear in her eye while she closed her eyes taking him in her embrace.
Even if her mind refused her heart knew whatever her mother spoke was really making sense.
“And don’t you know what you and Kumud are to Vikram. Do you think he would have ever survived that night?” Sumi asked and Ragvi nodded her head.
“And if he is alive then it is due to Ragini” Sumi smiled. “She broke everything which dragged her away from Vikram to return back to him. Do you think anyone of you can love Vikram so much that even after you lose your memory and you have a family to return; you will run back to him like it doesn’t matter what the truth is. The only thing matter is your heart says that he is your true family?” Sumi asked and Ragvi looked at her.
“She did that. She had a chance to get back to her family but she stayed with Vikram. Though she did not even remembered who he was” Sumi smiled widely.
“I’m not telling you to forgive her. But think this way also. She had a purpose to enter our lives. And Kumud might have had a reason to leave. Though she brought those storms in our life, she made us pass it” Sumi kissed Ragvi’s forehead.
“For a girl who spent her life in orphanage the family means everything. She never had all these and she will never disrespect what she craved all her life and got it finally” Sumi smiled and Ragvi hugged her mother.
Yohan entered Ansh’s room. He was sobbing lying on the bed facing his back. “Hey champ” he sat beside Ansh. “If you have come to speak for your brother. Sorry I don’t want to hear anything” Ansh spoke without turning.
“Champ please” Yohan requested. “You know he loves you the most” Yohan tried consoling Ansh. “I’m not a kid anymore Chachu. I know he doesn’t love me. He never did” Ansh spoke sternly.
“Remember the day he left me in boarding school? He did not even turn once. I was crying. Begging him to not to leave me alone. But he did not stop. And now when I asked him just one thing he is not getting me that also?” Ansh cried.
“Champ” Yohan turned Ansh. “I don’t want to talk to anyone” he turned again. “Okay fine. Come” he forwarded his hand.
Ansh looked at him confused. “You trust me?” asked Yohan. Ansh wiped his face and got up to place his hand in Yohan’s hand. Yohan picked Ansh in his arms and walked out of the room.
Ansh’s eyes widened with happiness. He loosened his seat belt and leaped to hug Yohan. “You are the best Chachu in the world” he squealed and hopped out of the car to run.
“Careful” Yohan screamed then loosened his seat belt and followed Ansh after he parked the car.
“Maa…. Maa….. Maa…..” Ansh screamed entering Rawat mansion like crazy. He screamed his lungs out. “Maa…. Maa….” he ran to Ragini’s room.
Ragini who was staring blankly suddenly experienced Ansh’s voice and moved. She stared blankly for a moment and wiped her face to rush outside. Opening the door behind she rushed towards the direction from where she was hearing the sound.
She stopped and Ansh was just a bit away from her panting for breaths. His face had the wide grin. Ragini took one step and stopped herself.
“You snatched Ansh’s mother” all those blames on Sanskar now had turned their direction to her. She closed her eyes not able to control her emotions.
Ansh’s smile faded. He moved one step towards her and she took a step away from him. “Maa…” he said. Ragini looked at him. Her eyes had the pain and helplessness.
Mai Kabhi Batlatha nahi Par andhere se darta hu maa
Yun tho mai dikhlata nahi.. Teri parwah karta hu mai maa
Tujhe sab hai patha hai na maa.. Tujhe sab hai patha
He burst into a bitter cry.
“I don’t know why you are angry with me Maa. Is that because some days ago I came late home and you have to search me everywhere?” he asked innocently. “I’m sorry….” he said painfully.
“I will never ever….” “Never ever do that again” he nodded his head. “Or are you angry because I scored less marks? Or for coming last in the race?” he asked her. He tried remembering everything which he thought might have have hurt Ragini.
“I’m sorry..” he cried again. “I promise I will score good marks. I will win all the races. I will listen to Dad. But please don’t be mad at me” he pleaded her.
“You know before you came all my friends used to talk about their mothers and they used to tell how much they love them. I never knew what it meant. But now I know it means you” he pointed his index finger at her.
“Please don’t go away from me. Please” he folded his hands. Ragini’s heart flinched. “You will hate me” she said like a small kid and collapsed on her knees.
Ansh moved to her and wiped her tears. “You are my everything. How can I ever hate you” he looked at her bending his small head.
Ragini looked at him. He dangled his hands across her neck covering her in his embrace. “I don’t want anything in my life. No birthday gifts, no new year or festival gifts. If all that could in return for you I don’t want any of those” he said hugging her tightly. Ragini closed her eyes and let the tears flow.
Finally she covered Ansh in her arms and burst out crying bitterly.
“I’m sorry baby… Mumma is bad really bad” she said in a cracking voice. “No. My maa is the bestest” he nodded his head placing his little head over her shoulder.
Bheed me mujhe yun na chodo mujhe ghar lautke bhi aana pavu maa
Bhej na mujhko itna dur bhi tu yaad bhi tujhe aa na pavu maa
Kya itna bura hu mai maa…. Kya itna bura
Ragini dragged him more close embracing him with all the love she had.
“You know I got first prize for the essay competition about “My mother”. And it is all because of you” he placed his little hand on her cheek.
Ragini held his hand and kissed his palm. “Promise you will not go away from me?” he forwarded his hand. Ragini looked at him emotionally. “Promise” she said placing her hand on his palm and again hugging him tightly.
Sanskar was watching Ragini standing at the door. She was patting Ansh’s head making him sleep.
After a storm finally he could smile.
May be that smile was short lived.
Ragini felt his eyes and looked towards the door. Her eyes met Sanskar’s and his smile widened.
She didn’t speak anything. But that silence spoke it all.
“I know you need time” he turned broken.
“Sanskar” that voice just had the capacity to calm him for eternity.
That was enough for him to die. That was enough for him to live.
He stood rooted and grasping the flooding emotions.
He had never felt this happy all his life. Every pain just vanished when he heard.
Can life be this blissful in a moment?
May be he was too lucky to have this moment in his life.
His boggled eye dropped a hot tear which burned his cheek and also his soul.
His throat engulfed the sour lump while he closed his eyes to make it sure he wasn’t dreaming.
It was an eternally waited reality.
I know too little RagSan moments today.
Hope you enjoyed it.